A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.
Friday, December 29, 2023
Too Few Friends?
Thursday, December 28, 2023
Life is Generally Better
People who think life is terrible now lack perspective.
Life is terrible now? Compared to what???
This isn't to minimize individual tragedies, pain, loss, trauma, or horrors. I'm talking about the world in general, especially the West. If you read other entries in this blog, you see that I'm definitely not someone who advocates that people have children unless they really, really want them and can provide them a good home. But when I see people say the world is too messed up and that's why they're not having children, it defies understanding of history.
For most of human history, just about everyone worked - hard and usually physical labor with dangers - from about the time they could walk until they died. They worked long hours and six or seven days per week. Vacations? What are those??? Life was hard, it was very limited, and it was short. You lived your entire life in the place you were born, upward mobility wasn't much of a thing, your options for just about everything in life were far more limited than they are now. Rest, relaxation, leisure were in short supply. A disability was much more likely to mean an even more limited and shorter life. Treatment options for injuries, illnesses, and physical problems were very limited compared to now.
Personal net worth and access to goods and services was generally a tiny fraction of what it is now.
War, violence, famine, barbarity, corruption, oppression, injustice, disease, dealing with threats from animals and severe weather are the default state of human life; it is only by hard work at civilization that these things have been limited, when and where they have been. And they have been.
When people think of things they think they like about the past, it is always taken out of the larger context.
Just one of many examples today are Generation X people (and older) who reminisce about the 1980s. Maybe they'll mention the music, the movies, the television shows, video games, restaurant chains, or something along those lines. But that drops the context of the looming threat of nuclear world war, HIV seemingly poised to become a pandemic as a certain death sentence, and, conversely, countless other things we've enjoyed since, and just about all the works of art and entertainment enjoyed then are still available to enjoy now in some form.
There are a couple of major things that especially seem to dampen the outlook of younger adults and adolescents: education costs and housing costs. It's true that those have far outpaced inflation. As far as housing goes, there isn't really much new land being made. But we have plenty of land. It's really regulations that slow or prevent the construction of "enough" new units. This is, indeed, one of many problems with big government. Hopefully, this problem will be reduced somewhat by replacing existing apartment and condo buildings with taller ones, adding housing units to struggling malls, converting some floors of commercial high rises to housing, and with slowing population growth. Education costs are high because of what essentially amounts to cartels and government interference. There's no good reason educational costs shouldn't have decreased in comparison to inflation with the rise of technology.
Many other things darken the assessment of people of various ages, depending on their focus. One of the most oppressive for the Left and those who believe Leftists and their messengers is the dire pronouncements of climate change as an existential threat. A constant assertion that climate change is behind various present ills and is on course to destroy the habitability of Earth in the near future is, by itself, enough to cause someone to decide things are terrible now. The dire predictions are hype, though, intended to get people on board with enlarging government, higher taxes (including hidden ones), printing and borrowing more money, and losses in liberty. Innovation, if allowed, will continue to address real environmental concerns.
And that takes me to other people who think things are terrible now: those who value limited government. Many of them see the government is getting ever larger and more intrusive.
Some religious moralists see the de-stigmatization of casual sex and cohabitation, LGBTQ+ political and cultural activism advancements, plummeting marriage rates, the ubiquity of porn, the increased legalization of recreational drugs and gambling as signs everything is falling part, while on the flip side others fret about "Christian nationalism" and the fact that someone might have to travel to another state to legally obtain an elective abortion or get their child a castration.
Some people worry endlessly about who is President or could possibly become President enough that they waste their life doing it.
And there are the people who, looking at the things above and other examples, fear that society has fractured into conflicting extremes, none of which are an appealing association.
Identity politics teaches people to think of themselves or their neighbors as perpetual victims of oppressive systems and that they are surrounded by people who actively hate them and want them dead. That can be very discouraging.
But "everything is terrible now" requires a lack of perspective.
Yes, there are real problems. Yes, there are setbacks sometimes. But overall, life is much better than it was 80, 100, 200, 500 or more years ago. People, whether male or female (or even if they think they're something else), whatever their skin color and whichever adult to whom they're attracted, have far more opportunities and a far higher standard of living than their ancestors did.
Your news source and your activist organizations thrive on bad news, alarmism, and scare tactics. Big business, which advertises, wants you to think your life is terrible but will get better if only you buy enough of their goods and services, and how much is enough is always "just a little more."
You're better off keeping some perspective. This is just one site that might help you with that.
Wednesday, December 27, 2023
Documenting Prager's Lack of Panic About Adult Media
Dennis Prager has correctly noted many panics that are pushed by the Left. I haven't heard him note that "porn panic" is primarily driven from the Right (with some piling on by misandrists on the Left). I listen to his radio show via podcast, but don't have time to watch hardly any of his Fireside Chats or the podcast he does with a very young woman. So, it is entirely possible I've missed him mention porn panic and it's push from the Right.
His Prager University has made a deal with The Daily Wire. The Daily Wire has show hosts/columnists who buy into, and perpetuate, porn panic. Indeed, Candace Owens is or has been a Prager University personality, but she buys into porn panic. For that reason, I'm documenting here some of what Dennis Prager has publicly proclaimed as far as male sexual nature and erotica, in case anything starts disappearing. To Dennis Prager's credit, as of this posting, he hasn't backed down despite negative reactions over the years from a core audience of his: conservative churchgoing women and the men who are trying so score points with them.
On March 2, 2015, Prager University posted a video hosted by Dennis Prager with the title "He Wants You." Here's the transcript they provided:
Sunday, December 24, 2023
Stop! Don't Propose! Don't Marry!
Guys, if you're thinking about proposing as a holiday surprise or just because you think it is a romantic time of year to propose, DON'T DO IT. If you are thinking about getting married, like many people do on New Year's Eve, DON'T DO IT!!! Don't propose on Christmas Eve or Christmas. Don't propose or marry on December 31. Don't do either on Valentine's Day. DO NOT DO IT!!!
Odds are, proposing is/was a mistake. This is a statistical fact.
Consider:
1) 33-40% of first marriages end in divorce. It is well over 50% for second marriages (70% if stepchildren are involved).
2) Enough of the other marriages are problematic enough of the time that literally, between divorce and "bad" marriages (including marriages that effectively end but don't legally divorce, or in which one spouse dies or is killed by the other before divorce could take place) most marriages are a mistake.
3) On top of that, add in the engagements that don't make it to marriage that end with drama and/or bitterness.
So, statistically, proposing is a mistake, a very big mistake.
Saturday, December 23, 2023
An Example of Married Life
Me: "I don't want us to do/get X. Here are several reasons why: A,B,C, D, E."
My Wife: "YOU ALWAYS RAIN ON MY PARADE!!! I really, really want to do/get this."
Me: "I don't want to deal with it."
My Wife: "You won't have to."
[I have to deal with A, B, C, D, E, and F because of X. It costs me money, gives me stress, makes my life/my family's life worse, day in and day out, for years.]
Me: [YELLING] "THIS IS WHAT I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT!!!"
My Wife: "Thank you for yelling." [Proceeds to be in a crappy mood for days or weeks, takes it out on the kids, gets passive-aggressive, acts/gets snarky/snide like a bratty teenager. This distresses our mentally ill kid (or, the one we already know is mentally ill).]
Repeat.
*****
You unmarried guys, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Thursday, December 21, 2023
Should You Legally Remarry Your Ex?
Men should almost certainly NOT remarry their ex if they have no minor children together. If you never had children with her or they are grown, there is likely no benefit whatsoever to remarrying her.
Yes, if you're paying her alimony, it can stop that, but marrying her legally signs over your earnings to her, anyway!
If she's the one pushing to get back together, you should tell her you'll only consider it after she pays you back for attorney fees, and after she does that, tell her you won't remarry unless she signs a customized prenup.
If you're the one who filed for divorce, why would you want to go back to her? There are two basic possibilities, other than to stop alimony:
1) You've changed. If you've changed for the better, good for you. But legally marrying, and that includes remarrying, is a terrible deal for most men.
2) She's changed. She might have appeared to change. So what? Even if she has changed, you don't need to be married to her. Marriage is about transferring your power and wealth to her.
If she was the one who filed for divorce (and odds are, she was), why would you want to surrender your freedom to go back for more abuse? If she was the one who filed for divorce, and is the one asking to remarry, what that means is that she realized she can't attract a man richer or better than you. That's her problem, not yours. You can get women hotter than her.
She cost your a lot of money, time, pain, and aggravation. Will ending the alimony payments be enough repayment for the troubles and legal bills you had to pay? There's a saying: "Divorce costs men a lot of money, because it is worth it." And if you're not paying alimony, there is likely NO reason to legally remarry.
I know a guy who did this. His wife literally tricked him into signing divorce papers. She ran off with a guy in a band. That lasted about five minutes. She came back to this guy. And he took her back!!!
IF YOU HAVE MINOR CHILDREN TOGETHER, there is some benefit for the children to being cooperative and in the same residence, or at least in that residence when the children are home and awake (assuming she's not abusive to them and this would be putting the children back with her when they otherwise wouldn't be).
Have her pay any legal feels needed to stop child support collection. Still avoid legally remarrying, if you can. A legal cohabitation agreement is a must if you're going to share a residence, but if you're going to legally marry, get a prenup.
Wednesday, December 20, 2023
Holidays Reminder: Men, Stay Free!
Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day are almost here.
Men, don't do foolish things.
Don't marry.
Don't get engaged.
Don't buy expensive gifts for a woman you consider a date, romantic, or sexual interest.
Don't pay for her to travel, or go to events/parties, or for an expensive hotel room for her.
Don't spend time with a date's friends or family or have her spend time around yours.
Stay free. Enjoy your freedom.
Wednesday, December 13, 2023
What Happened Next Door
If you'd told me when I was twelve years old that multiple women who'd appeared in Playboy magazine were going to live in the Playboy mansion, appear in the magazine multiple more times, and be in a "reality" cable television show with Hugh Hefner, I would have known that those women, who were several decades younger than him, were going to expected to be his girlfriends and have sex with him even though he was old and not in the best shape and not committing to any of them, and they would be expected to participate in parties whether that seemed like fun or more work, and that what they were going to get out of this deal was fame, money, access, networking, and visits to Disneyland and wherever else. He's an older man, not in the best shape, and yet these women were going to have to show him a good time.
I would have known that at twelve.
My siblings would have known.
What thinking person over the age of sixteen wouldn't have known this?
But once Hefner was dead, and thus no longer useful, he was cast as a villain by some of the people who used to praise him and cling to him.
Nope. Not buying it.
If you weren't saying this was bad behavior at the time, but rather were profiting off of it, you don't get to bash him now and get any sympathy or points from me at all. Those women knew exactly what they were signing up for. The same goes for anyone going to an adult party at the mansion. Of course staff, such as cooks, cleaners, etc. shouldn't be targeted for harassment, but it was the Playboy mansion; home to a man who built the magazine and brand from the ground up. Nudity and shenanigans should have been expected.
Monday, December 11, 2023
Some People Don't Want Men Reading the Truth
Some of the comments left here and, more often, some of the tweets sent my way on Twitter say things like "I feel sorry for your wife" and "Does your wife know what you're saying?"
There are people who have a vested interest in attempting to shut down people who do what I do: warn men about what they're really dealing with and giving men possible techniques to avoid being abused or disadvantaged.
They don't want men knowing these things. They don't want men to read the truth. They want men mindlessly continuing the cycle.
There are few places where men can get the truth when it comes to these topics. Many husbands don't feel at liberty to tell unmarried men the truth about marriage. Sometimes you can read between the lines. But blunt truth? That's rare.
As for my wife, she has a husband who pays all of her bills and handles all of the paperwork, has given her the life she always wanted, does almost all of the household chores including the cooking, runs almost all the errands, listens to her whenever she wants to talk, has almost never said "no" to her, is eager to enthusiastically do anything she wants when it comes to romance and sex, never asks that we watch anything different from her choice on the shared televisions in the home, and has ensured she will be financially taken care of whether she stays or go, whether I live or die. I have literally saved her life and have never touched her in anger. I don't splurge on myself, I don't do drugs or smoke, I don't get drunk. I give her words of affection and affirmation every day. I get her the gifts she wants. I probably get along better with her parents/siblings than she does. She has candidly told others she has a great marriage. Her life is probably better than the lives of the women who criticize me.
But yes, I come here and tell the truth: Most men shouldn't marry. Most men don't even need an exclusive girlfriend. Marriage is a bad deal for most men. Most men can get everything they truly want out of life without ever marrying. Marrying is the biggest mistake I've made.
Monday, December 04, 2023
Stay Strong, Unmarried Men
For all of you men who are not currently married, this is one of those times of the year family and certain cultural elements push you to marry.
One way is trying to make it seem like everybody gets married, that marriage should be your goal, and that only losers don’t marry.
Jewelry companies run ads promoting the ridiculous notion that engagement rings make perfect holiday gifts. There are legal reasons why that’s a terrible idea.
Don’t fall for the trap.
If you’re engaged, don’t let the manipulations during this time of year push you into signing a terrible state contract (marrying).
Nor should you make any large purchases for, or with a woman. Want to buy something for your mother? Go ahead. But not a fiancée, not a girlfriend, or any other woman you’ve been seeing.
Don’t propose. Don’t co-sign a lease or mortgage or anything. Don’t move in with a woman or let her move in with you.
Stay free.
Follow the tags for this post, like “Free Men” and “Marriage Strike” and “Running Game” to be reminded why you should stay free and how to make the most of this time of year.
As always, feel free to comment.
Saturday, December 02, 2023
Don't Let the Holidays Lead to Less Freedom, Guys
But wherever you are, if you're somewhere Hanukah, Christmas, or January 1 are celebrated, you need to implement or continue your holiday game plan.
There are two main considerations for you:
1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.
2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.
Don't do something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.
Friday, December 01, 2023
Does This Deter Teen Girls From Fornicating?
Dr. Laura, who has an awesome program and does a lot of good, has been consistent in recent decades about what she tells teen girls and what she tells their parents to tell them about sex.
I think it was the second hour of the program from Monday, September 9, 2019 that she got a call from a mother who'd heard from her sister that her (the caller's) daughter had sex with her boyfriend of about six months and that the daughter was planning to tell her. [This entry has been bumped up.]
Dr. Laura told the caller/mother to tell her daughter:
1) He's told all his buddies
2) Other boys are going to want to get into her also
3) There's nothing special, sublime, or sacred about what they did
4) Animals do the same thing
5) There's no love or commitment attached to it
6) Now you have a reputation
7) Boys talk about it
8) The next time you date you're going to want to do it again because the bar is down and it's less meaningful
9) By the time you marry you'll probably have a pregnancy or STD.
Do these messages deter teen girls today from having sex? I have my doubts.
Thursday, November 30, 2023
Adapt or Be Irrelevant
A pitfall of conservatism is when a conservative fails to deal with the reality that things have changed.
I'm not bashing conservatives. Most people would probably classify me as a conservative if I described most of my political and social positions. Obvious exceptions you might have noticed if you've read other entries on this blog is that I warn most men not to marry and I think professional antiporn crusaders are misleading people for personal gain.
I recognize that the truth is the truth regardless of the culture or what is in fashion.
And a truth that conservatives need to deal with is that some things change and if you're going to be effective, you need to meet people where they are.
Let's bring this into the world, to where the rubber meets the road.
Example: State marriage licenses. They are issued to same-sex couples and that's not going to change, unless states cease issuing marriage licenses entirely. Most conservatives have conceded this. Some still appear to be devoting their resources to trying to reverse this shift.
Two talk radio hosts to which I listen via paid podcast subscription, both of whom I think do a lot of good for people, demonstrate the problem with not accepting change.
Dr. Laura, despite what people might think who only know her through what other people say, has always held some positions that go against conservative consensus.
However, she usually refuses to help callers who are cohabitating outside of legal marriage. She usually won't help them with the problem or concern that's coming up within their relationship as it is. Instead, she tells them to either move out or go to the courthouse and get married ASAP. Very few of the callers are going to do either, and dismissing them with that won't help them in their marriage (if they do marry) or interpersonal relationships with each other or others if they do move out from each other.
I am generally against "shacking up" myself. However, most people who marry these days lived together before they did, just like Dr. Laura and her late husband. It's perfectly valid for her to explain why she now opposes shacking up (as long as she doesn't rely on statistics in a misleading way), and she can still do that. But the callers, and a wide swatch of her audience, will benefit more if she deals with things as they are. There are several other examples I could cite when it comes to the Dr. Laura Program.
I don't know of anything more foundational to how Dennis Prager views life and talks/writes about life than the notion that men and women should marry and raise children together, and that it is man's lot in life to financially support a woman. He is so convinced of this he constantly urges men and women to order their life around this. If they aren't married now, they should be actively seeking to marry, including if they've been divorced multiple times. If the Lord Almighty were to part the clouds and boom from the skies with a command to someone walking alongside Dennis that they shouldn't marry, Dennis just might go atheist.
Even though he acknowledges the severe problems with family law and courts, he still urges people to subject themselves to them. He needs to accept that we no longer live in small farming villages on family farms our entire life and don't need to birth our own farm hands. Men and women can both thrive living "alone" or without marriage.
Antiporn crusaders write and talk like scientists who aren't in their tank can't research and network, and that people can't check things out for themselves now. Their claims from forty-plus years ago like porn rots brains and turns people into serial killers are easily debunked now, but they still try to use those scare tactics. Porn isn't going away.
Life has changed, and tactics and positions need to change with it, or someone becomes ineffective.
Monday, November 27, 2023
When To Involve Cops With Family
- Your call will be recorded. Your location, name, voice, and what you say will be in the possession of a government agency and might be subject to release to the public.
- If police respond, they will be armed.
- If police respond, they might search you, your vehicle, your residence, etc.
- They might arrest someone, including you.
- They might end up using force, including deadly force.
- Assume everything will be audio and video recorded, but you won’t have access to the recordings, or they might be made public.
- If the person cited or arrested is your spouse or dependent, that is going to have negative consequences and repercussions for you, including financial.
Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Be Thankful For Being Free
All over the country, men, many of whom are beaten dogs, are spending a day or multiple days with people they can't stand because they were foolish enough to marry, propose marriage, live with a woman, or be "in a relationship" with a woman. In addition, many of these men have even paid for flights, hotel rooms, and other expenses to facilitate this.
Don't let that happen to you!
If you're in the USA, you should have already taken evasive action. If you're not in the USA, take evasive action before the next holiday!
Be thankful for being a Free Man, and stay a Free Man, and help other men stay free.
Are you free? Are you a beaten dog? Or, are you still blissfully delusional in your marriage, relationship, or desire to be in one? Whichever is the case, feel free to comment below to tell us about it.
Saturday, November 04, 2023
Will Dennis Prager Ever Do Something Constructive About Marriage Rates?
- He’s been divorced twice. He doesn’t see the divorce the same way many of his devoutly religious listeners do.
- He doesn’t think people should avoid marrying someone with prior children (Dr. Laura constantly preaches against bringing your new lover around your minor children, and I agree with her)
- He thinks wives shouldn’t let mood be the sole factor in determining when they have sex with their husband; many people consider that advocating marital rape.
- He’s wealthy. He lives in one of the most expensive cities in the Los Angeles area. He has a national radio show. He’s a paid speaker and pitchman.
- He doesn’t eat home cooked (at his home) meals. Everything he eats wasn’t prepared by his current wife or a cook they hired; rather, it’s almost always from a restaurant. Very few of his listeners can live like that.
- He travels a lot, so it isn’t like he’s having to go home and deal with a spouse at home day in and day out.
- When he was growing up, his married father had a subscription to Playboy. This wasn’t a hidden thing. Dennis resolved not to marry a woman who couldn’t accept male sexual nature, which Dennis has made clear includes accepting that husbands enjoy looking at other women, whereas many of his listeners think that’s akin to adultery.
- Speaking of adultery, he doesn’t think cheating should automatically end the marriage (I agree, but many of his listeners don’t).
Friday, November 03, 2023
Why Do Women Have Sex?
Despite what certain activists and college professors say, men and women are different, and some of the significant differences are inborn. So the answer to "Why do women have sex?" isn't the same as the answer to "Why do men have sex?" We have different reasons, and even the reasons that sound the same can be different when prioritization or emphasis is considered.
Each reason only applies to some women. Some women who have sex have many reasons to have sex, some only a few or one.
I'm not a woman. This list is based on what women have said and done, and what I know about biology and sociology. If you know additional reasons, especially if you're a woman, tell me in the comments and maybe they will be added (you can also mention in the comment whether or not you want the comment published). This list is in no particular order.
Monday, October 30, 2023
Dear Dennis Prager: Get Clarity on the Marrage Strike
Dear Dennis Prager,
I listen to every minute of your radio program, I own and have read some of your books, I read some of your columns, I follow Prager U on social media, and I think you do a lot of good. I'm a married father.
With that out of the way, I'm going to again make this appeal:
You need to have an articulate, informed marriage striker on your radio program.
It might be good to have, not necessarily at the same time, both someone who articulates why men are avoiding marriage, and someone who articulates why women are avoiding marriage. But they must not be people who bemoan this. They must be supporters of, or at least sympathetic to, the "marriage strike".
This would benefit your program and it would benefit you, as it would give you more clarity and it might help you make your arguments and appeals even more effective. It would thereby also help your listeners.
The marriage strike isn't just a matter of women who want to depend on government and men who don't want to grow up. There are independent, mature, principled, responsible, productive, decent, values-driven people who have avoided marriage for reasonable, logical, fact-based reasons.
Your producer/staff should be able to find individuals who'll appear on your program. Here's a suggestion. That's someone who has experience being on talk radio. You can also try contacting the person at morgue33[ at] gmail.com.
Friday, October 27, 2023
Why Do Men Like Lingerie?
Why do men like lingerie?
For men who like women to wear lingerie, there are two basic reasons:
1) It looks more revealing and sexier than baggy sweatpants, granny panties, or just about anything else a woman would wear other than skimpy swimsuits or revealing yoga pants.
2) It signals she's feeling sexual or is willing to get sexual. There are swimsuits more revealing than some lingerie, but the swimsuit signals she's going to hang out by the pool, on the beach, or sun herself. There are yoga pants more revealing than some lingerie, but again, yoga pants don't signal "Let's get sexual."
Most men prefer women to be entirely naked rather than in lingerie. But most men do prefer lingerie to regular clothing or pajamas that don't reveal much.
Some women find lingerie figure-flattering, accentuating certain parts of their body and hiding things about which they are unhappy or self-conscious. We get that. But women do tend to be far more critical of their own bodies than men, especially a man who is with them. But if it helps her feel more confident and helps her to be more enthusiastic, that's definitely a plus.
When a wife surprises her husband with wearing lingerie, especially if he normally has to persuade her to agree to sex, it can be a nice surprise to him.
I plan to write more about why men like certain things when it comes to women. I fully get it that some women, even some women who claim to be heterosexual, don't give a rat's behind about what men like. But there may be a few women who are curious, and I can be honest. Maybe you can put what I tell you to good use?
Also, as with anything else, especially anything sexual, "men like" is a generalization. There will ALWAYS be outliers or a minority of men who think/feel differently. In this case, that means a few men will find lingerie a turn off, or will prefer it to nudity.
Wednesday, October 25, 2023
Here Come the Holidays
Halloween is almost here. And in the USA, Thanksgiving will be here before you know it.
Guys, this is a reminder that you need to be executing your holiday game plan.
Saturday, October 21, 2023
Organizations of Which to Be Wary
Recently, a certain fraternal organization started within the last few years and its leader have been getting trashed online. I had been wary and a bit suspicious of the organization and its leader, even though he was saying many things with which I was agreeing. There were a few things he was saying and doing, and the tone he was taking, that made me suspicious. [This has been bumped up from January 2022. They are now supposedly offering a health care plan of sorts. What could go wrong?]
In no particular order, and subject to being revised and expanded, here are some signs you should be skeptical/cautious of joining or associating with an organization:
Sunday, October 01, 2023
We Are Not a Project
I found a column by Suzanne Fields at conservative site Townhall. With a headline of "A Good Man Is Still Hard to Find" I took notice. [This entry has been bumped up.]
Women have been complaining since the original Adams family was evicted from the Garden of Eden that "A good man is hard to find."Whining, complaining, nagging... yep.
Despite radical feminist mockery of the very idea of manliness, that men are natural sexual predators, most women -- with very few exceptions -- still want one.Of course they do! It's nice to have the cash flow, the bodyguard, an errand boy, and a receptacle for your whines and gripes and thoughts.
The #MeToo movement has nevertheless changed a lot of things in the wake of the sexual harassment-scandal season. One of them is the regard in which men are universally held by women. It often seems we're back to the '80s, when there was a similar assault on the idea of manhood and some women decried all sex as rape.
Radical feminist activists Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin were widely credited with saying that "all sex is rape" and "all men are rapists." They both deny the statements, but Dworkin conceded that she did say, "Penetrative intercourse is, by its nature, violent."No wonder men are choosing to To Their Own Way (see MGTOW).
Tuesday, September 26, 2023
Go To The Doctor
People trying to sell you on marriage, at a loss to point to a good reason for a man to marry, say that husbands benefit from having a wife nag them to go to the doctor.*
Think about that.
You're paying over half of your salary and giving up your time and freedom and control over your life to ...have someone nag you to go to the doctor.
But here I am, telling you to do it, and I'm doing it for free. That's what other people should do. They should cut out the "middlewoman" and tell you to go to the doctor, not to get married.
Go to the doctor. Now you don't need to get married or even shack up with a woman or even be in a relationship.
Seriously. Find doctors you like. Make appointments. Set reminders. Go. Be honest with them. Ask questions. Take ownership of your health. Do these things, and you'll be better off than the average married man.
Find doctors you like. You should have an Internist or Primary Care Physician, a Dentist, an Ophthalmologist, and, if you have specific problems, a Psychiatrist, Cardiologist, Urologist (get a vasectomy!), Dermatologist, etc. If you don't have one, try looking around your area for someone who takes your insurance. You need good doctors you can trust. (If you don't have insurance for some reason, see if you can be practice for medical students.)
Make appointments. Just do it. You can always move them if you need to. Ask your doctors' offices how often you should have appointments.
Set reminders. A good doctor's office will send you reminders, but put your appointment in a calendar you actually use, such as in your smart phone, and set reminders.
Go. Keep your appointments.
Be Honest With Your Doctors. There's no point in lying to them. Be completely, thoroughly, brutally honest with them, even if you feel embarrassed or like a failure. They're there to help you. Tell them what you're feeling and experiencing. Tell them what you do. If you're eating a lot of junk, fornicating with skanky women, and abusing substances, having problems with memory, seeing, hearing, erections, urinating or bowel movements, tell them! If there's something that seems off with the twig and berries, say so!
Ask Questions. Ask your doctor questions. Ask about your symptoms. Ask about their recommendations. If you don't understand something, ASK... no matter how stupid you might feel. If you come up with questions between visits, record them however is best for you so that you'll actually have them handy to ask. Many doctors allow questions through a website, app, or email.
Take Ownership of Your Health. We're all getting older. We can't act like we're not. We can't eat like we used to. We need to be responsible. You already know overeating and substance abuse and sitting around all day every day are bad things. You know sex with someone who hasn't been recently tested and cleared, especially without condoms, is risky. Your doctors might order certain tests for you, like blood tests, urine tests, fecal tests, and stress tests. Don't avoid those! And if you're sexually active, you can easily get tested for diseases and infections that can be sexually transmitted.
If you're prescribed medications, research them to see what they might have as side effects and what the possible alternatives are. Pay attention to how you react to a medication.
Pay attention to what you're eating. The American diet is full of junk. Artificial sweeteners and fat substitutes, a ton of sugar everywhere, loads of sodium, and processed fat. By all means, if there is something you really like, a few bites of it is fine. Don't feel like you need to clean off your plate, though. It's fine to save something for later or even let it go to waste. We all need some fat, sodium, and even sugar in our diet, but most of us can cut way back. If you prepare your own meals at home, it is so much easier to eat right. You can use spices, especially cinnamon, and agave to make things tasty. I like soda ("pop" to some of you). I like the tastes, I like the carbonation, and I like the caffeine. But most of the stuff out there, even diet, is awful for us. But there are lines of carbonated "flavored waters" and there are concentrated "caffeine squirters" as well. Right now I get Kirkland canned carbonated flavored water. I forget what it's actually called, but they have grapefruit, lime, and lemon juice ones. There's very little juice in them. But I can add my own flavoring and caffeine. For most people, natural fats, including on meats, isn't bad. It's not what makes you fat. What makes you fat is eating too much while moving too little, including all the sugars.
Learn to cook. Take classes if you need to. It's never been easier. There's a ton of recipes and other information you can find online for free. You don't need to Food Channel stuff. With a blender, a crock pot, and a skillet, you can have enough variety to never be bored. There are meal kit services, and you can have groceries, even just fruits and vegetables, delivered.
Move more. Whether it's exercising at home or a gym or getting a personal trainer, or going for walks, or going for swims, or bicycling, moving more and keeping active is important. If you're a man, and one who looks like he can handle himself, it's very easy to get more exercise in by doing things like NOT looking for a closest parking spot. Go park in the far corner. You don't really need expensive gym memberships or personal trainers. You can find ways to move more. Even if it's just using a treadmill or stationary bike as you watch your movies or shows, you can move more.
You don't need a woman around to nag you about these things. You can take care of yourself.
*While some of the reason married men AS A GROUP are healthier than "unmarried" men is nagging, some of it is also selection, meaning women are more likely to marry healthy men than sickly men. And they're more likely to marry wealthy men than poor men, and of course wealthy men can get better health care and personal trainers and the like. Also, men who died too young to marry skew statistics. Personally, I was healthier unmarried and I'm confident I'd be healthier than I am now had I never married.
Friday, September 22, 2023
Daily Wire and Dennis Prager Panic Over Marriage Strike
Monday, September 04, 2023
The Priorities of the Professional #Traffickinghub Crusaders
I used to fall for the kind of talking points regurgitated by the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders. Starting decades ago, I was on-board with their alarmism, their insistence that we are/were in a crisis. I've been closely observing the current personalities involved for many years now. [This was originally posted in June 2022.]
On the surface, it seems like the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders are extremely concerned about assault (rape, molestation, etc.). After all, that's one of the reasons for "trafficking."
But when they consistently ignore or refuse to focus on actual cases of rape and molestation at churches, schools, daycares, and other places, and instead take every opportunity to bash adult media, when they constantly use social media services to get attention and donations when those very services have had exponentially more of the very things these crusaders claim necessitates shutting down a porn site and criminally prosecuting its executives, things don't make sense until you consider that perhaps their goal isn't addressing assault, but rather amassing donations by attacking adult media.
It's been years since the "#Traffickinghub" campaign started, and their petition has been online. YEARS. What has happened with all of that time, up until this posting?
- PornHub removed unverified videos (such as those uploaded by users like your neighbor, often videos pirated from other users or websites) and will only allow videos posted by verified producers. Of course the professional Traffickinghub crusaders consider this a victory.
- Credit card companies no longer allow PornHub viewers to pay for their porn (and thereby pay performers) using their credit cards. Of course this has been seen as another victory by the crusaders, although they shifted to complaining that the credit cards are still involved through the ads on PornHub.
- Laila Mickelwait, who was touted as Director of Abolition at Exodus Cry, started something called the Justice Defense Fund.
- Laila Mickelwait has gotten a lot of attention from certain journalists and certain government hearings.
- Laila Mickelwait/Justice Defense Fund, Exodus Cry, and other organizations have continued to rake in donations.
- Laila Mickelwait has gotten social media mentions each time someone has signed her petition.
- Laila Mickelwait has broadened from focusing on PornHub to more adult media sites.
- PornHub is still online.
- PornHub executives haven't been arrested or charged with any crimes.
- People are still being raped and molested. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
- Videos of rapes, molestation, and "revenge porn" are still all over the Internet. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
- Performers have been inconvenienced and deprived of money.
- A man went on a mass murder spree at a massage business, and told investigators what sounds like Traffickinghub talking points.
Laila Mickelwait constantly asserts that PornHub is a "crime scene" full of rape videos (despite the fact that they only have videos from verified producers), tries to harass advertisers and credit card companies, and even tries to get search engines to pretend that PornHub doesn't exist.
Why, considering social media platforms, churches, schools, and other adult websites have an exponentially more serious problem than PornHub ever did? Might it be because PornHub is the most popular and well-known porn site? Might it be that the goal is getting donations, especially from churchgoers and social media users?
It all makes more sense when considering that Exodus Cry's roots are in churches that have a negative fixation on adult media, often to the point of preaching against it more than sloth, envy, greed, gluttony, and gossip combined.
Saturday, August 26, 2023
Dennis Prager: "You Owe Me" & Circular Reasoning
Dennis Prager has repeated many times on his radio show, Prager U videos, and elsewhere I'm sure, that his teachings on male sexual nature (the core of which includes that most men want to bang most women and if a husband stays faithful, it means he has worked at doing so) have prompted married couples to approach him, such as at his speaking events, and express that those teachings have helped their marriage.
Dennis Prager says he tells the husbands "You owe me."
Really?
What if that man married in the first place because of Dennis Prager's constant urging of men to do so?
If that is the case, it's like Dennis Prager encouraging a man to step in front of a moving bus, then telling someone on the bus to give the man an ibuprofen pill after the bus runs him over, then Dennis Prager tells the guy as he's being loaded into an ambulance, "You owe me."
Dennis is largely correct about male sexual nature, but his inevitable conclusion of selling marriage isn't the only option. To Dennis it is, because he has an obsession with urging men to sign that terrible state contract. He might say this is prompted by his faith in the Torah, specifically the early chapters of Genesis, yet other things he's said seem to imply or outright indicate one of the reasons he has faith in the Torah is that he says it promotes marrying and having children. It seems circular.
Recently he did an hour on his show saying people should "act religious" and "lead a religious life" even if they don't actually believe in the religion, because it means "living a good life." From what he's said other times, that "good life" likely is primarily, or significantly, about marrying and having children.
Regardless, who determines what a "good life" is?
To some people, a good life is earning more than enough to meet all of their needs as well as finance many of their desires, being able to move for promotions and new opportunities, driving stylish sports cars, eating at high end restaurants, taking expensive vacations any time of the year, going to concerts and theaters, having a clean and orderly home so they can have company over frequently and host parties and gatherings, being able to get a good night's sleep, having sex anytime and anywhere in their home, keeping a punctual and reliable schedule, and many, many other things that aren't possible or are far more difficult if they're raising children. What makes Dennis Prager's model of a good life (which he didn't explain thoroughly this time) the correct one?
My understanding of a good life is ultimately determined through my faith. If someone doesn't have that same faith, why would their definition of a good life necessarily match with mine? The churches I have attended have said they meet because of Jesus. If someone doesn't believe Jesus is an authority, why would they get up on a Sunday morning (or Saturday, for some), go sing and listen to a lecture, and fork over money? People can join far more convenient social clubs or charities.
It seems that sometimes Dennis Prager forgets that not everyone (or, not everyone who isn't a Leftist) wants the same things he does. I'm reminded of my open letter to Dennis Prager.
Monday, August 21, 2023
The State of This Blog
Being married and raising kids (and, of course, working full time) means I don't have a lot of free time. (Not because I'm having fun with my wife, but because when I'm not working I'm usually running errands or doing chores.)
I have so many draft posts I'd like to complete and post, including continuations of various series I have started.
I try to get at least a couple of new posts up here each week, and I rotate still-relevant past posts up on other days, so that six days per week someone coming here might see something they haven't before.
I'm active daily on Twitter, or X, or whatever it's being called today.
Send me a DM on Twitter if you want to reach me privately. You can also comment on any post here and ask me NOT to post the comment. That's another way to send me a message privately.
Of course you can also comment on posts if you DO want your comment to be posted.
Also, I always like to hear from you as to why you read this blog, or how you found it. Or, just tell me how your life is going or anything else you want to say.
I plan to keep updating here and keep analyzing the things I see, hear, and read, and keep encouraging men to thrive as Free Men, other men to make the best of their situations, and giving women insight into how men really think.
Thursday, August 17, 2023
Share This Blog
This blog exists for me to think things through, vent, and hopefully help others.
If you have found anything here helpful, insightful, informative, or entertaining, please let others know this blog is here.
Copy and paste from this blog as much as you want, as long as you don't distort or misrepresent what I write here. It's great if you link back to the blog post when you do that, but in situations in which it is best for you not to, like when you're breaking up with someone, I understand if you don't.
I'd appreciate it if you would spread to word or continue to spread the word by linking to this blog in emails, social media, forums, wherever.
I can help more people that way.
So please, share this link: https://tunasafedolphin.blogspot.com
Thursday, August 03, 2023
Dennis Daily: Boo Hoo, Marriage Rates Are Down
The "Male-Female Hour" (Hour 2) of the Dennis Prager Show on Wednesday, August 2, 2023 was dedicated to trying to fool people into marrying.
Unless he's off traveling or for a religious holiday, Dennis Prager is on the air each weekday lamenting that fewer people are marrying. Sure, there's also political talk, current events, and more on the show, but it seems like every day Dennis must lament that the marriage strike is growing.
So, this dedicated hour he attempted to make the case for marrying. He still hasn't had an articulate marriage striker on his show to counter our points.
Here's my report from that hour.
He kicks it off by saying marriage makes the best men and the best men get married. What this means is that married men are more likely to behave in ways Dennis likes, and women are more likely to prefer men who are better off to be their walking wallets.
He says most people aren't going to have the best careers. Right, Dennis, and one reason people don't is that they married and marriage is a dream killer.
He asserted that the worst argument against marriage is that so many people divorce, and he again said that's like refusing to drive because people get into accidents. He didn't address any other arguments against marriage the whole hour.
Dennis tried to say marriage has benefits for men, citing the usual stuff, and he said the benefits are just as profound for women, that women need men, and that single women are the least happy group in America and that they do a lot of damage. Even if true, isn't it likely that they are unmarried because they are sad and problematic people?
Then he says yes, it might go wrong. You might get divorced. So what? Again, I'm glad Dennis' divorces apparently weren't so bad or that his masochism was fed by them. Good for him.
My guess is that calls opposed to marriage or warning people about the facts weren't allowed through.
First call was a married guy. He said people say marriage is hard, but when there's illness and loss of a loved one it is helpful to have a spouse. Uhm, people can have companionship without a terrible state contract or a ridiculous pledge. The caller hasn't even been married ten years. I sure hope he isn't about to find out.
Second caller was a woman who has a daughter she says is having trouble finding someone. The daughter doesn't want someone who took the C v-cines. Yeah. She mentioned dating apps and how her daughter must be getting overlooked.
Dennis says there is always a better one [better potential date]. EXACTLY! There's always a better person to be with, so why marry???
Dennis says people need to speak well of marriage, even if divorced. Why? He hasn't explained well why. That he grew up in a congregation in which married men got to wear a shawl isn't a compelling reason.
Third caller was a guy, said he asks younger people if they're married or dating, tells them to marry as soon as they can, they will mature faster and will experience happiness on a deeper level. That's horrible advice. They are more likely to divorce. He claimed people who get married in their 30s are so set in their ways that it creates chaos. He claims you experience life's joys together and asks why would you want to travel or build a house alone? Uh, because you don't have someone stifling you and wanting things their way??? You can experience life's joys with someone without marrying. You can travel a lot more if you're not having to pay some woman's way.
Dennis claims people don't want to be mature. But his definition of mature is likely "married" and thus circular.
He goes on to say many people who aren't married say they're not lonely. "I would ask them the same question later in life. Marriage is an investment for later in life." So again, we have the argument that you should give up decades of freedom on the chance someone will be your nurse. Dennis went on to say he's always thought about that. He never doubted, even in high school, that he'd marry. Demanding people marry is a healthy thing. "The number of unhappy women should make the case. The number of men sitting and home playing video games should, too." See, to Dennis, standing around smoking a cigar is great, playing games is somehow magically bad. He wants men to stop doing what they want to do and try to make miserable woman happy, so they can both be miserable.
"I'm stunned when these women are working on career. You should work on getting married, then work on career," So he wants women to marry, pop out kids, then dump them in daycare and work in a career? And what happens when her path to career advancement is in a different city from her husband's?
Fourth caller was a guy who agreed it's an investment in the future. He has guilt and regret because he gave up on a marriage 40 years ago. "I could have made a difference. I didn't stay. I was single for eight years, and then I remarried. I've been married over 30 years. I do love my current wife but every day I think about the prior marriage." Geez, imagine being his current wife.
Dennis said "Life is not a dress rehearsal." OK, well, that's all the more reason to NOT marry.
Fifth caller was a man in the Bronx who said "I haven't married because I asked her if she would immediately file for divorce if I had a one night stand. A one night stand doesn't constitute a betrayal of the entire marriage."
Dennis responded by restating something he's said multiple times before, that adultery shouldn't automatically end the marriage. He says it's not autobiographical as he's been faithful. He points out that some marriages that survive adultery are stronger. "Good people commit adultery. Not everyone who commits adultery is a bad person."
He lauded the hypothetical person who wouldn't automatically divorce over a one night stand.
Sixth caller was a woman. "I encouraged my kids to marry because life is like a tango, it takes two to tango.There is nothing better in life than to be married." I can just as easily assert that life is like a solo dance recital.
Dennis capped off the hour by saying to women they should find a good man, the sooner the better, and men become men when they marry.
And there you have it. Did that hour convince one person with a functioning brain?
With hours like this one, we can expect the marriage rates will continue to decline. Women don't need marriage anymore to fully participate in society and life or just to survive, and men aren't being given compelling reasons to marry but have many significant reasons to stay free. That Dennis is fixated on wanting everyone to marry isn't a compelling reason for anyone else to marry.
Tuesday, August 01, 2023
Married Men Are Taller
Saturday, July 22, 2023
Why Does Dennis Prager Now Have a Part-Time Co-host?
Thursday, July 20, 2023
Dependent Shackup Tells Dear Abby She’s Abused
Time for some more true love!
BAD SCENE IN THE MIDWEST wrote in to Dear Abby:
Not employed, not running a business. Doesn't say she homeschools. She stays home and has two teens.
What happened to the father or fathers of the teens?
That's true of most men, when you really get down to it. I mean, many value the companionship and friendship is there is some, too, but that's more of a byproduct. They often have to be friends and companions with the women to get the sex, or so they think, and the women take up their time, and, they're there. There are couples, including married, who really don't do much together. They may or may not have sex, and attend certain events together, but that's about it.
The way she says "here" and the rest of the letter imply she and her children are living in Doug's place. They're not married. How much money is Doug spending on these three people? Remember, she's not working.
Force or abuse are unacceptable, period. But clarification on "tries to" and "verbally abuses" would be helpful. "You don't give me what I need" isn't verbal abuse. "You're worthless" is.
But even if he wasn't abusive, if she doesn't want to have sex with him, she should leave.
You know why she doesn't? Because he provides money and services.
Well that's just silly. He could go out and run game, part of which would be doing it elsewhere. But the real reason you need to leave, in addition to it being an abusive situation, is that it isn't your place.
He couldn't do either of those things if you weren't there.
Get out.
Right... but you depend on him. That mistake is going to make things harder, but you have to.
What she can likely do, and a lawyer can fill her in on this, is call the police on the guy and have him kicked out of his own place and still compelled to pay for it, and, possibly, pay her as well and pay child support for those kids even though they aren't his. While he might "deserve" that for being an abuser, most men should NEVER move a woman in to their place, ESPECIALLY one with kids.
Agreed. And what is it called when someone is forced to labor for another adult?
She has places to go, thankfully. It's not as easy for abused men.
I'm trying to get the domestic abuse rate down to zero. The best way to avoid abuse is to be independent and don't move in with an abusive person.