If you're not going to post an hour of your show, for whatever reason, that you did live, please post a note to that effect. I suppose it is too much ask for a reason, too? Some of us actually WANT TO LISTEN to your show, and yeah, some of us are a bit compulsive about.
The talk radio hosts I listen to the most all have podcast versions of their shows that can be subscribed to for month or a year at a time, at a cost. The "in-show" live ads they read are included, but the "breaks" aren't, which is convenient. Each hour of the show is posted separately, as a separate file to play or download.
When Dr. Laura is out and the show is a "Best of" (a re-run), the brief description of the podcast hours will usually include that it is a "Best of". Sometimes, the same hour will be mistakenly posted as two different hours, and that will usually be corrected the next day the show is live. So, if that happens on a Friday, on Monday the staff will correct it.
I have paid subscriptions currently to Dr. Laura, Dennis Prager, and Michael Medved. Prager's podcast descriptions will also note when the show is a re-run or when a guest host is filling in. My gripe is about Medved's podcast. It seems that every week or two, there'll be an hour that is simply not posted at all. There will be a listing for Hour 1 and Hour 2 on Thursday, no mention of Hour 3, and then Hours 1, 2, and 3 for Friday. That sort of thing. There won't be a mention of the missing Hour 3. Or, as happened recently, there'll be an hour listed and described, but the file is actually something that's just four minutes long, instead of the usual 36 or 37 minutes.
Tweeting at the official account doesn't help.
I'd love to recommend Medved's podcast, but if we're not even going to get an explanation, let alone the actual content for which we paid, I'm reluctant.
Yeah, it's a First World problem. I could go back to listening to the shows live. It's far more convenient for me to listen to them once they're packaged as podcasts.
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Monday, August 26, 2019
Do the Dreams of Men Matter?
Dr. Laura has repeatedly told male callers to her show (either directly or through their wife calling) that it doesn't matter if they hate their job, they need to (financially) provide for their family and not be concerned with following some dream.
During yesterday's show (August 21, 2017) [yes, this entry has been bumped up] during the third hour, she got a call from a woman who has been a SAHM, formerly a dental assistant, who was going back to work due to her kids aging out, but as a preschool (= daycare, which Dr. Laura usually rails against) teacher. The woman prefers doing the preschool work, but the dental assistant work, which she could get, pays far more, and her husband wanted her to take that work instead of the preschool work, to facilitate saving for retirement.
Now, Dr. Laura has declared she'll never retire and she says she can't understand people who retire "early" (despite telling men to do jobs they hate), so that might have played into her answer. Most people do want to retire, though.
Dr. Laura specifically told this woman to follow her dream and do the preschool work, and to tell her husband she's going to budget to save money. She tells wives these things (like when she tells a wife to tell her husband she'll feel sexier if she can quit her job), but I wonder how many actually follow through and budget, and are more frequent/enthusiastic lovers? My guess is many don't. There may not be all that much they can do to save more money, or maybe the husband doesn't want to cut back on their current lifestyle? In this case, the kids were off the college so that was probably going to be a big financial strain.
Dr. Laura further said that she doesn't know what has happened to today's males, who are, in her estimation, telling women to "go be a slave, forget about your dreams and earn income". This is very revealing. Are husbands slaves? Anyone clued in to MGTOW would say yes. I'm right there with Dr. Laura when the kids are young and there needs to be a parent with them. One parent (usually the husband) needs to earn income and the other (usually the wife) needs to be primarily concerned with caretaking of the children. But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about empty-nesters.
What has happened to today's males? Here's what has happened: It costs more to live longer. Husbands know career disruption is a big thing now and they can't count on having their job until retirement. Also, there are an awful lot of wives out there who decided to leave their marriages, and if they are earning nothing or significantly less than their husbands (as most wives do), they are getting alimony payments, and depending on the state, for the rest of their lives!
The caller's husband is trying to secure their joint future. If they're going to need care, that's going to cost. If they're going to want to travel, that's not cheap. If they're going to be paying for their kids' education and weddings, that can easily total hundreds of thousands of dollars.
So... do the dreams of men matter?
We're not talking about the needs of children. That's out of the picture at this point. Now it becomes a question of whose dreams matter more. His dreams appear to be centered on the two of them together. Her dreams are about what she's doing with her day.
If is important to note that Dr. Laura frequently refers to a man marrying as a man "laying down his life".
Men: Want to pursue your dreams? Want to live your life instead of laying it down? DON'T MARRY. When you marry, it becomes all about her. And if you have children it is all about them. So don't do those things. Now, Dr. Laura and others might accuse you of being selfish or immature or "afraid of commitment" or some other negative label. So what? You can console yourself with all of your freedom and financial security and enjoying your dreams and NOT dealing with nagging and hostility from the person who is sharing your home. That way, the woman you would have married can work whatever job she wants to. She won't have to deal with your request she be a "slave" like you have been.
During yesterday's show (August 21, 2017) [yes, this entry has been bumped up] during the third hour, she got a call from a woman who has been a SAHM, formerly a dental assistant, who was going back to work due to her kids aging out, but as a preschool (= daycare, which Dr. Laura usually rails against) teacher. The woman prefers doing the preschool work, but the dental assistant work, which she could get, pays far more, and her husband wanted her to take that work instead of the preschool work, to facilitate saving for retirement.
Now, Dr. Laura has declared she'll never retire and she says she can't understand people who retire "early" (despite telling men to do jobs they hate), so that might have played into her answer. Most people do want to retire, though.
Dr. Laura specifically told this woman to follow her dream and do the preschool work, and to tell her husband she's going to budget to save money. She tells wives these things (like when she tells a wife to tell her husband she'll feel sexier if she can quit her job), but I wonder how many actually follow through and budget, and are more frequent/enthusiastic lovers? My guess is many don't. There may not be all that much they can do to save more money, or maybe the husband doesn't want to cut back on their current lifestyle? In this case, the kids were off the college so that was probably going to be a big financial strain.
Dr. Laura further said that she doesn't know what has happened to today's males, who are, in her estimation, telling women to "go be a slave, forget about your dreams and earn income". This is very revealing. Are husbands slaves? Anyone clued in to MGTOW would say yes. I'm right there with Dr. Laura when the kids are young and there needs to be a parent with them. One parent (usually the husband) needs to earn income and the other (usually the wife) needs to be primarily concerned with caretaking of the children. But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about empty-nesters.
What has happened to today's males? Here's what has happened: It costs more to live longer. Husbands know career disruption is a big thing now and they can't count on having their job until retirement. Also, there are an awful lot of wives out there who decided to leave their marriages, and if they are earning nothing or significantly less than their husbands (as most wives do), they are getting alimony payments, and depending on the state, for the rest of their lives!
The caller's husband is trying to secure their joint future. If they're going to need care, that's going to cost. If they're going to want to travel, that's not cheap. If they're going to be paying for their kids' education and weddings, that can easily total hundreds of thousands of dollars.
So... do the dreams of men matter?
We're not talking about the needs of children. That's out of the picture at this point. Now it becomes a question of whose dreams matter more. His dreams appear to be centered on the two of them together. Her dreams are about what she's doing with her day.
If is important to note that Dr. Laura frequently refers to a man marrying as a man "laying down his life".
Men: Want to pursue your dreams? Want to live your life instead of laying it down? DON'T MARRY. When you marry, it becomes all about her. And if you have children it is all about them. So don't do those things. Now, Dr. Laura and others might accuse you of being selfish or immature or "afraid of commitment" or some other negative label. So what? You can console yourself with all of your freedom and financial security and enjoying your dreams and NOT dealing with nagging and hostility from the person who is sharing your home. That way, the woman you would have married can work whatever job she wants to. She won't have to deal with your request she be a "slave" like you have been.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Dating and Courting Are Not the Same Thing
I wish I had waited longer to finish up this entry about something Dr. Laura said on her show recently, because this past Tuesday (8/13/2019) she elaborated on her position about dates. I've been listening to her for decades and I don't remember her ever saying it so clearly. There might have been a couple of times I heard her saying the caller was dating a bum because he had gone on a date with someone else, but usually there were other problems with him, so I didn't catch it.
I agree with her on so much, but this is an area in which I think she's far too limiting and most of her listeners will not conform because it is generally understood that going on a few dates with someone doesn't make the people dating an exclusive couple; it is expected that they might be going on dates with other people as well, at least until they have a "define the relationship" moment, agree to be exclusive, or agree "we are girlfriend and boyfriend".
That's how it always was with any woman I dated, including my now-wife. My wife had the same understanding.
I agree with her on so much, but this is an area in which I think she's far too limiting and most of her listeners will not conform because it is generally understood that going on a few dates with someone doesn't make the people dating an exclusive couple; it is expected that they might be going on dates with other people as well, at least until they have a "define the relationship" moment, agree to be exclusive, or agree "we are girlfriend and boyfriend".
That's how it always was with any woman I dated, including my now-wife. My wife had the same understanding.
Saturday, August 03, 2019
So Glad I Could Help
A comment was left on this entry of the blog. I wanted to highlight the comment, but I'm also putting it here because I wanted to "censor" it because I really don't want profanities on my blog. I don't mind people using profanities in private with me. I just don't want them on my blog.
William, thank you so much for your very kind comment. I am so sorry for what you're going through and for what your daughter is going through. I sincerely hope you and your wife can patch things up, at least well enough and long enough that your daughter will be raised in a supportive home. If that doesn't happen, I hope you will be able to be there for your daughter as much as possible.
Guys, the best way to avoid a situation like this is to avoid conceiving children and refuse to marry.
William D.
Just found your blog at 6am in a hotel room away from my Wife and 4 year old daughter because initiating a divorce got me shooed out. Hooked after reading 1 post and stayed because of your positive personality. Might sound ironic to some that I say “positive” but honestly it takes a positive, brave and mindful person to come to terms with what’s going on, accept it and take the best route. It’s easy to go into a downward spiral of resentment and f--- things up (extreme example: Chris watts) Just reading reminds me that I am not alone and grounds me to deeper consciousness. Thanks Ken!
William, thank you so much for your very kind comment. I am so sorry for what you're going through and for what your daughter is going through. I sincerely hope you and your wife can patch things up, at least well enough and long enough that your daughter will be raised in a supportive home. If that doesn't happen, I hope you will be able to be there for your daughter as much as possible.
Guys, the best way to avoid a situation like this is to avoid conceiving children and refuse to marry.
Thursday, August 01, 2019
Men Going Their Own Way - MGTOW
As I've understood it, Men Going Their Own Way is about men not getting into dependent relationships with women, whether that means avoiding social interactions with women entirely or exclusive dating relationships, and certainly refusing to marry or co-parent with a woman. I have also understood it to mean not being dependent on, nor reinforcing, gynocentric governments or certain other institutions. MGTOWs are certainly marriage strikers, but not the only ones. There may be some people who can be identified as both MGTOW and MRA (Men's Rights Activist) but not all MGTOWs are MRAs and not all MRAs are MGTOWs.
Faithful Leykis 101 students, who, while pursuing casual sex, avoid exclusive dating/romantic relationships, avoid living with women, avoid interacting with women in the workplace any more than strictly necessary, avoid conceiving children or co-parenting, fit in with the MGTOW movement, although Leykis, a self-proclaimed libertarian Never-Trumper, has stated he perceives MGTOW to be a co-opting of Leykis 101 with Trump support, and perhaps other things he doesn't like, added on. I think I heard him or others suggest MGTOW is racist, which doesn't seem to be the case at all, as I see men of all races active in the movement and most racists in social media strongly urge people of their own race to marry and pop out a lot of children.
My understanding of the MGTOW movement is that it is international, non-partisan, and generally welcomes men across the political spectrum (although it opposes laws and government projects and programs favoring women) regardless of religion, race, or ethnicity. Given MGTOW concerns about gynocentrism, it is understandable why they would have supported Trump as the only alternative to a President Hillary Clinton.
While there may be some incels (involuntarily celibates) who hide behind the MGTOW label, most men in the movement, which deliberately seeks to avoid marriage or any interdependent relationship with a woman, are NOT incels. They are VOLUNTARILY celibate (unmarried), whether they are chaste or they are fornicating. Indeed, many of them have been married and many are fathers.
Faithful Leykis 101 students, who, while pursuing casual sex, avoid exclusive dating/romantic relationships, avoid living with women, avoid interacting with women in the workplace any more than strictly necessary, avoid conceiving children or co-parenting, fit in with the MGTOW movement, although Leykis, a self-proclaimed libertarian Never-Trumper, has stated he perceives MGTOW to be a co-opting of Leykis 101 with Trump support, and perhaps other things he doesn't like, added on. I think I heard him or others suggest MGTOW is racist, which doesn't seem to be the case at all, as I see men of all races active in the movement and most racists in social media strongly urge people of their own race to marry and pop out a lot of children.
My understanding of the MGTOW movement is that it is international, non-partisan, and generally welcomes men across the political spectrum (although it opposes laws and government projects and programs favoring women) regardless of religion, race, or ethnicity. Given MGTOW concerns about gynocentrism, it is understandable why they would have supported Trump as the only alternative to a President Hillary Clinton.
While there may be some incels (involuntarily celibates) who hide behind the MGTOW label, most men in the movement, which deliberately seeks to avoid marriage or any interdependent relationship with a woman, are NOT incels. They are VOLUNTARILY celibate (unmarried), whether they are chaste or they are fornicating. Indeed, many of them have been married and many are fathers.
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