Does He Really Care?

I believe it was Dr. Laura's opening comments on her Monday, January 23 2017 show in which she listed and described ways to know a man loves you. If you listen to her or read her stuff, or follow this blog, you know that for her, dating is for discerning if you're a match for marriage. If you're in your late twenties or older, you're finding your spouse and you marry about two years after you start dating. (But keep in mind, if a guy is in his 40s and has never been married, he's probably not going to marry or probably not marriage material, and nobody with minor children should be dating seriously enough that the minor children meet their parent's new lover.)

So with that in mind, here's  Dr. Laura's list of signs he loves you, even if he hasn't SAID the words. Some of it might be slightly paraphrased from what she said:

You're having a bad day and he tries to turn it around, bringing sweetness into your life.
He remembers the little things you say and do.
What you say makes a difference to him.
He wants to know about your day.
He talks about his day.
He says and does cute little "nothings" (which Dr. Laura says are somethings).
He puts you first in front of his friends.
He wants to know more about you.
He loves to hold your hand.
He enjoys taking care of you  and wants to know you're OK.
He offers you a helping hand when you need one.
He remembers the special occasions.
He likes to be close, such as watching a movie and cuddling.
He wants to meet and know your family and to like them.

He talks about his dreams for the future, hints or talks about "our" future
He makes time for you.
Your opinion matters.
He can't stay mad at you for long.
He tells you what he likes about you.
He apologizes when appropriate.
He's very protective of you.
He touches you in subtle and loving ways.
He gets giddy.
He says nice things about you to others.

March Madness

People have the right to protest, not riot, and not litter. And we all have a right to analyze their protests to see if what they're saying is true and what they want is a good thing. A lot of people have spread this essay by Dina Leygerman. Let's take a look at it. After that, I'll link to some coherent and reality-based stuff.

It has the headline, "You Are Not Equal. I’m Sorry."

A post is making rounds on social media, in response to the Women’s March on Saturday, January 21, 2017. It starts with “I am not a “disgrace to women” because I don’t support the women’s march. I do not feel I am a “second class citizen” because I am a woman….”

This is my response to that post.

Because, if you don't think you're a victim, by golly you're wrong!

It's Not Too Early To Think About Valentine's Day

Ladies, you can scroll down to where I address you. The first part of this entry is for men.

Guys, I'm not talking about planning an overpriced romantic production.

I'm talking about GETTING OUT.

Get out of that engagement or relationship before wasting time, money, and effort on Valentine's Day.

If you're married and happy, fine... go ahead and plan something. But if you're married and unhappy (and have no minor children!) and are thinking about getting out, now is the time to make your move (if your lawyer agrees). If you're shacking up, now is the time time to make your move. If you've got a girlfriend, now is the time to make your move. If you're seeing someone but she's not your girlfriend, become very scarce until February 15. You don't want to continue things or make them worse.

If you're not absolutely sure you want to be with this woman for the long term, don't waste your time, money, and energy, and don't waste her time. Get out before Valentine's Day.


You don't need a wife, but most of you will get married anyway, even though you can't explain why, in part because some married guys aren't being honest with you. If you're going to be proposing (see this before you do), do NOT propose on Valentine's Day, her birthday, or any other gift-giving occasion, or it makes it more likely she can keep the ring if things don't work out. You want that ring to be considered conditional. You should NOT be marrying if you have minor children (unless she's the mother of your children); your kids shouldn't even know you are seeing anyone.



*****

Hey ladies... do you have a man in your life? A husband, a steady, a romantic partner?

Does he care about the Super Bowl? If so, will/did you help make it a great day for him? If he doesn't care about the Super Bowl, is there some other annual day other than his birthday that you give him an especially good time?

If not, why do you expect him to make a big deal about Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day is NOT for men. It just isn't. It is a day when men are expected to make a huge fuss about romancing a woman. There are the dinner reservations, entertainment, gifts, chocolates and candies, flowers, cards, etc. Now, sure, a man who is genuinely happy in his relationship wants to give the woman what she wants. However, a scheduled and expected (demanded) communal thing means more hassle, more expense, etc. Who needs that? If it is truly about celebrating your love, it can be done any day of the week, when there won't be crowds and jacked up costs.

If you have a man who makes a big deal about Valentine's Day, I hope you reciprocate on another day or you at least make it worth his effort.