In person and over the phone, my mother-in-law has repeatedly changed her tone and reached out with what sounds like sincerity to solicit my confiding in her/father-in-law about difficulties with my wife.
Their daughter.
There are many reasons I avoid this trap.
In no particular order:
Monday, August 31, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Does It Make a Difference Where Someone Finds Their Co-Adulterer?
I have to wonder if this was Dr. Laura's bias against online communications, especially when it comes to relationships, impacting the way she handled the last call she took on yesterday's show.
It was from a woman who has a three year old with her husband, saying she found her husband's info in the data hack of a certain website that requires pay for attempting to facilitate adultery.
"I have no advice for you." said our hostess.
That wasn't true. After all, she went on to give her advice. Perhaps Dr. Laura should have said "Things are going to be a mess no matter what."? There are some callers she refuses to give advice to because they're in the mess they're in because they didn't follow her teachings (even if they'd never heard of her before).
Before we were given any more details, Dr. Laura declared the caller's husband to be a "louse".
Now, with most other women who call in and find out that their husbands are having an affair (this caller was saying that she had evidence he was looking to have one), Dr. Laura will ask them what kind of a wife they've been, and try to discern if the husband is a generally bad man or is a good man who made an immoral choice after his wife neglected him, because in the latter case the wife has the power to motivate her husband to vanquish the other woman and become faithful.
But instead of going into that line of discussion, Dr. Laura pronounced the caller's husband a louse. Based on all of my years of listening and reading, I'm thinking it was because he sought out an affair using a website.
The woman subsequently went on to say that she'd discovered an affair when she was eight moths pregnant, and that's another one of Dr Laura's hot buttons. She's much harder on husbands who cheat while their wives are pregnant than, say, when their kid is a year old, because then Dr. Laura says the woman's focus on the child to exclusion of her husband's needs was a problem.
Dr. Laura has also previously said that even if the couple splits up, as long as he's been an otherwise good father (aside from the major sin of cheating on the child's mother), he should be in the child's life as much as possible.
But in this case, Dr. Laura said "Go home to mom and have him visit. One of these days he's going to give you AIDS. You can't afford to risk this."
Well, yeah, that's possible when a husband cheats with a neighbor, too, so why is the advice different now? Again, perhaps it is a bias against use of technology, as she went on to say:
"He's on websites trolling for sex. He's a real piece of s---."
Trolling for adultery in the workplace cafeteria is OK?
In contrast to when she tells wives to give their straying husbands great sex, she said:
"He's not going to stay with you if you're not going to do him, and you'd be stupid to have sex with him... You can't have sex with him ever again."
Then she went on to tell the caller to get away from her husband and try to get him to sign away his parental rights.
So guys, you should never cheat. But the lesson here seems to be that if you are going to cheat, don't meet the person using a website or app.
Seriously, let's be clear here. People who used that website were wrong on many levels, in addition to committing adultery or attempting to. They were wasting money on something that is easy to get for free.
It was from a woman who has a three year old with her husband, saying she found her husband's info in the data hack of a certain website that requires pay for attempting to facilitate adultery.
"I have no advice for you." said our hostess.
That wasn't true. After all, she went on to give her advice. Perhaps Dr. Laura should have said "Things are going to be a mess no matter what."? There are some callers she refuses to give advice to because they're in the mess they're in because they didn't follow her teachings (even if they'd never heard of her before).
Before we were given any more details, Dr. Laura declared the caller's husband to be a "louse".
Now, with most other women who call in and find out that their husbands are having an affair (this caller was saying that she had evidence he was looking to have one), Dr. Laura will ask them what kind of a wife they've been, and try to discern if the husband is a generally bad man or is a good man who made an immoral choice after his wife neglected him, because in the latter case the wife has the power to motivate her husband to vanquish the other woman and become faithful.
But instead of going into that line of discussion, Dr. Laura pronounced the caller's husband a louse. Based on all of my years of listening and reading, I'm thinking it was because he sought out an affair using a website.
The woman subsequently went on to say that she'd discovered an affair when she was eight moths pregnant, and that's another one of Dr Laura's hot buttons. She's much harder on husbands who cheat while their wives are pregnant than, say, when their kid is a year old, because then Dr. Laura says the woman's focus on the child to exclusion of her husband's needs was a problem.
Dr. Laura has also previously said that even if the couple splits up, as long as he's been an otherwise good father (aside from the major sin of cheating on the child's mother), he should be in the child's life as much as possible.
But in this case, Dr. Laura said "Go home to mom and have him visit. One of these days he's going to give you AIDS. You can't afford to risk this."
Well, yeah, that's possible when a husband cheats with a neighbor, too, so why is the advice different now? Again, perhaps it is a bias against use of technology, as she went on to say:
"He's on websites trolling for sex. He's a real piece of s---."
Trolling for adultery in the workplace cafeteria is OK?
In contrast to when she tells wives to give their straying husbands great sex, she said:
"He's not going to stay with you if you're not going to do him, and you'd be stupid to have sex with him... You can't have sex with him ever again."
Then she went on to tell the caller to get away from her husband and try to get him to sign away his parental rights.
So guys, you should never cheat. But the lesson here seems to be that if you are going to cheat, don't meet the person using a website or app.
Seriously, let's be clear here. People who used that website were wrong on many levels, in addition to committing adultery or attempting to. They were wasting money on something that is easy to get for free.
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