A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.
Quiz For Men: Should You Get Married?
The quick answer is NO!!!
Before we get to the actual quiz, consider the following.
Right or wrong, marriage used to provide a man with:
1) Exclusive access to a woman's labor.
2) Exclusive access to a woman's body.
3) Access to/control of his children (helpers).
Other than that, marriage was, and always has been, and continues to be, something to benefit women and children. It has provided women with protection, income, labor, and children and assigned default paternity over her children to her husband whether or not he actually made them with her.
Now, marriage guarantees nothing beneficial to a man that he couldn't get otherwise:
1) A woman's labor can be bought for much less than half of his income (which is the minimum a wife costs), while a wife can do nothing or actually be counterproductive and suffer no financial, legal, or social penalties.
2) Everything from casual sex with virtual strangers with little time, money, or effort spent to long term relationships can be had without marriage now. Wives can reject their husbands, and if their husband still tries, that is assault/domestic violence. Also, a wife suffers no legal or financial penalties for sharing her body with people other than her husband.
3) Children have been turned into liabilities and expenses more than assets now, but if you still want them you can sue for access or use a surrogate. Conversely, many wives have taken children away from their husbands physically and emotionally (parental alienation).
So with that in mind, see if you can get through this quiz:
1. Do you want children? (Yes or No)
If you already have minor children, then you should not get married UNLESS it is to the mother of those children AND you can make it through the rest of this quiz.
2. Do you want sex?
If no, then skip to 4
If yes, then continue to 3.
3. a) Do you think that sex should only be within marriage? b) Are you sure you're OK limiting yourself to only having sex with one ever-aging person for the rest of your life, and only when that person feels like it? c) If you've had sex with this person, is it great?
If no to any of those, then DO NOT MARRY.
If yes to all, then continue.
4. Does she or will she soon earn more income than you, and are you OK with that, and is she OK with that and still able and willing to respect you? (Yes or No)
5. If the answers to 1, 2, and 4 are all no, DO NOT MARRY.
If the answer to 2 is YES but any answer to 3 is no, DO NOT MARRY.
If the answer to 1 or 4 is YES AND/OR the answer to 2 and all of 3 is YES, keep going.
6. If she disagrees with you on any of 1, 2, or 3, DO NOT MARRY HER.
7. Would you be OK with the very real possibility that she may change her mind about 1?
If NO, then don't marry.
If YES, then continue.
8. If NO to 2, would you be OK with the very real possibility that she may change her mind?
If YES to 2, Are you aware and accepting of the possibility she may reduce the duration, frequency, scope, and other conditions of sex?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
9. Would you be OK with the very real possibility that she may change her mind (or things may change) about 4?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
10. Are you OK with assuming default paternity status, meaning that if a woman has a child, no matter what the circumstances - including with another man or when you found out - you'll be legally and fiscally responsible for that child for 18-25 years, including for college expenses?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
11. Do you want to share a) living space, which includes being the one arrested and possibly prosecuted should police get a domestic disturbance call and the risk of being permanently kicked out of your own home b) decision-making including purchasing, c) credit risks... with any/this woman?
If NO to any, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES to all, then continue.
12. Are you OK with buying gifts and going through the trouble of putting together celebrations for things like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, Valentine's Day, etc. year after year?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
13. Are you OK with not saying everything you'd like to and with telling lies ("No, you looked great.")?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
14. Are you OK with wasting time arguing or listening to whining?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
15. Are you OK with assuming a risk of divorce that is 40% for first marriages, 70% for subsequent marriages? (Keep in mind women are overwhelmingly more likely to file and can do so unilaterally for any or no reason.)
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
16. Are you willing to pay for a wedding (tens of thousands of dollars), or have you found a woman who will pay for it herself of have her father pay for it?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
17. Is she childless, with no living children (including there being no children she gave up for adoption or resulting from her donated eggs).
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
18. Will she sign a customized prenuptial agreement before a wedding date is set, with each of you having legal representation and a video recording being made going over the agreement as it is signed? Also, do you understand a judge could still disregard the agreement, but you're willing to try it anyway?
If NOT, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
19. Are you attracted to her physically, and she to you?
If NO to either, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES to both, then continue.
20. Can you say honestly "I'd want to be with her even if she was horribly disfigured tomorrow."?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
21. Do you like her personality/demeanor/attitude, and she yours, and are they compatible and productive/constructive together?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
22. Do you have compatible goals, philosophies of life, values, styles, practices, socialization, and habits?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
23. Do you like most of her friends and family (and she yours) and are none of them she chooses to associate with toxic or abusive?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
24. Have you seen her financial and credit records, and is she fiscally responsible?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
25. Are you willing to make her legal next-of-kin and your default beneficiary, including literally trusting her with your life?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
26. Are you willing to form a legal/financial partnership with her that would entitle her to half of everything you earn, plus continuing payments should the marriage end?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
27. Does she dependably handle stress, emergencies, or swerves in life without turning against you or falling to pieces?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
28. She never gets violent, threatening, or destructive when she gets upset or disagrees. She can be reasoned with and admits her mistakes.
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
29. Have you seen her health, medical, and prescription records, including reproductive, mental, and dental, and are you OK with what you've seen?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
30. Have you seen her police/criminal/court record, and are you OK with what you've seen?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
31. Have you seen her driving, educational, or any other records, etc. and are you OK with what you've seen?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
32. Do you know her deepest secrets (how are you sure?) and does she know yours, and are you both OK with them?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
33. If you answered YES on 1 and you plan to have biological children with her, have you seen pictures from throughout her childhood and those of any biological siblings, and are you OK with what you've seen in terms of your own children looking like that?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
34. Is what benefit she brings to your life worth (more than) the costs and limitations she also brings?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
35. Is she the best you could ever get?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY.
If YES, then continue.
36. Have you achieved your dream?
If NO, then DO NOT MARRY, unless you highest dream is to marry.
If YES, then continue.
If you made it all the way here, then CONGRATS! Marriage can be a consideration. Either that, or you are delusional and need serious mental health help.
If you have any questions or want clarification, or have a suggestion or I missed something important then leave a comment.
2 comments:
Please no "cussing" or profanities or your comment won't be published. I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!
I passed the quiz!! Meaning I never got married and never will! LOL
ReplyDeleteThe force is with this one.
ReplyDelete