A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.
Tuesday, September 26, 2023
Go To The Doctor
People trying to sell you on marriage, at a loss to point to a good reason for a man to marry, say that husbands benefit from having a wife nag them to go to the doctor.*
Think about that.
You're paying over half of your salary and giving up your time and freedom and control over your life to ...have someone nag you to go to the doctor.
But here I am, telling you to do it, and I'm doing it for free. That's what other people should do. They should cut out the "middlewoman" and tell you to go to the doctor, not to get married.
Go to the doctor. Now you don't need to get married or even shack up with a woman or even be in a relationship.
Seriously. Find doctors you like. Make appointments. Set reminders. Go. Be honest with them. Ask questions. Take ownership of your health. Do these things, and you'll be better off than the average married man.
Find doctors you like. You should have an Internist or Primary Care Physician, a Dentist, an Ophthalmologist, and, if you have specific problems, a Psychiatrist, Cardiologist, Urologist (get a vasectomy!), Dermatologist, etc. If you don't have one, try looking around your area for someone who takes your insurance. You need good doctors you can trust. (If you don't have insurance for some reason, see if you can be practice for medical students.)
Make appointments. Just do it. You can always move them if you need to. Ask your doctors' offices how often you should have appointments.
Set reminders. A good doctor's office will send you reminders, but put your appointment in a calendar you actually use, such as in your smart phone, and set reminders.
Go. Keep your appointments.
Be Honest With Your Doctors. There's no point in lying to them. Be completely, thoroughly, brutally honest with them, even if you feel embarrassed or like a failure. They're there to help you. Tell them what you're feeling and experiencing. Tell them what you do. If you're eating a lot of junk, fornicating with skanky women, and abusing substances, having problems with memory, seeing, hearing, erections, urinating or bowel movements, tell them! If there's something that seems off with the twig and berries, say so!
Ask Questions. Ask your doctor questions. Ask about your symptoms. Ask about their recommendations. If you don't understand something, ASK... no matter how stupid you might feel. If you come up with questions between visits, record them however is best for you so that you'll actually have them handy to ask. Many doctors allow questions through a website, app, or email.
Take Ownership of Your Health. We're all getting older. We can't act like we're not. We can't eat like we used to. We need to be responsible. You already know overeating and substance abuse and sitting around all day every day are bad things. You know sex with someone who hasn't been recently tested and cleared, especially without condoms, is risky. Your doctors might order certain tests for you, like blood tests, urine tests, fecal tests, and stress tests. Don't avoid those! And if you're sexually active, you can easily get tested for diseases and infections that can be sexually transmitted.
If you're prescribed medications, research them to see what they might have as side effects and what the possible alternatives are. Pay attention to how you react to a medication.
Pay attention to what you're eating. The American diet is full of junk. Artificial sweeteners and fat substitutes, a ton of sugar everywhere, loads of sodium, and processed fat. By all means, if there is something you really like, a few bites of it is fine. Don't feel like you need to clean off your plate, though. It's fine to save something for later or even let it go to waste. We all need some fat, sodium, and even sugar in our diet, but most of us can cut way back. If you prepare your own meals at home, it is so much easier to eat right. You can use spices, especially cinnamon, and agave to make things tasty. I like soda ("pop" to some of you). I like the tastes, I like the carbonation, and I like the caffeine. But most of the stuff out there, even diet, is awful for us. But there are lines of carbonated "flavored waters" and there are concentrated "caffeine squirters" as well. Right now I get Kirkland canned carbonated flavored water. I forget what it's actually called, but they have grapefruit, lime, and lemon juice ones. There's very little juice in them. But I can add my own flavoring and caffeine. For most people, natural fats, including on meats, isn't bad. It's not what makes you fat. What makes you fat is eating too much while moving too little, including all the sugars.
Learn to cook. Take classes if you need to. It's never been easier. There's a ton of recipes and other information you can find online for free. You don't need to Food Channel stuff. With a blender, a crock pot, and a skillet, you can have enough variety to never be bored. There are meal kit services, and you can have groceries, even just fruits and vegetables, delivered.
Move more. Whether it's exercising at home or a gym or getting a personal trainer, or going for walks, or going for swims, or bicycling, moving more and keeping active is important. If you're a man, and one who looks like he can handle himself, it's very easy to get more exercise in by doing things like NOT looking for a closest parking spot. Go park in the far corner. You don't really need expensive gym memberships or personal trainers. You can find ways to move more. Even if it's just using a treadmill or stationary bike as you watch your movies or shows, you can move more.
You don't need a woman around to nag you about these things. You can take care of yourself.
*While some of the reason married men AS A GROUP are healthier than "unmarried" men is nagging, some of it is also selection, meaning women are more likely to marry healthy men than sickly men. And they're more likely to marry wealthy men than poor men, and of course wealthy men can get better health care and personal trainers and the like. Also, men who died too young to marry skew statistics. Personally, I was healthier unmarried and I'm confident I'd be healthier than I am now had I never married.
Friday, September 22, 2023
Daily Wire and Dennis Prager Panic Over Marriage Strike
The Daily Wire folks like Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, and Dennis Prager have been freaking out, the last day or so even more, because more and more men have realized that signing a terrible state contract and being reduced to nothing more than an ATM and lackey is not for them.
It’s a little late, fellas.
Dennis continues to be pathological on the subject. It’s truly stunning.
The state contract is atrocious.
Most marriages fail.
Most men can have a great life staying free.
There’s no benefit in marrying a man can’t get for less cost and risk other ways.
And more and more men are figuring this out.
Don’t like it? Change the family laws and courts, for starters. There’s a lot more too it, though.
Life has changed. We are adapting.
Guys, do check out the “Free Men” and “Marriage Strike” tags attached to this post.
Monday, September 04, 2023
The Priorities of the Professional #Traffickinghub Crusaders
I used to fall for the kind of talking points regurgitated by the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders. Starting decades ago, I was on-board with their alarmism, their insistence that we are/were in a crisis. I've been closely observing the current personalities involved for many years now. [This was originally posted in June 2022.]
On the surface, it seems like the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders are extremely concerned about assault (rape, molestation, etc.). After all, that's one of the reasons for "trafficking."
But when they consistently ignore or refuse to focus on actual cases of rape and molestation at churches, schools, daycares, and other places, and instead take every opportunity to bash adult media, when they constantly use social media services to get attention and donations when those very services have had exponentially more of the very things these crusaders claim necessitates shutting down a porn site and criminally prosecuting its executives, things don't make sense until you consider that perhaps their goal isn't addressing assault, but rather amassing donations by attacking adult media.
It's been years since the "#Traffickinghub" campaign started, and their petition has been online. YEARS. What has happened with all of that time, up until this posting?
- PornHub removed unverified videos (such as those uploaded by users like your neighbor, often videos pirated from other users or websites) and will only allow videos posted by verified producers. Of course the professional Traffickinghub crusaders consider this a victory.
- Credit card companies no longer allow PornHub viewers to pay for their porn (and thereby pay performers) using their credit cards. Of course this has been seen as another victory by the crusaders, although they shifted to complaining that the credit cards are still involved through the ads on PornHub.
- Laila Mickelwait, who was touted as Director of Abolition at Exodus Cry, started something called the Justice Defense Fund.
- Laila Mickelwait has gotten a lot of attention from certain journalists and certain government hearings.
- Laila Mickelwait/Justice Defense Fund, Exodus Cry, and other organizations have continued to rake in donations.
- Laila Mickelwait has gotten social media mentions each time someone has signed her petition.
- Laila Mickelwait has broadened from focusing on PornHub to more adult media sites.
- PornHub is still online.
- PornHub executives haven't been arrested or charged with any crimes.
- People are still being raped and molested. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
- Videos of rapes, molestation, and "revenge porn" are still all over the Internet. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
- Performers have been inconvenienced and deprived of money.
- A man went on a mass murder spree at a massage business, and told investigators what sounds like Traffickinghub talking points.
Why, it's almost like this is all about lining the pockets and stroking the egos of a few people who have a religious objection to adult media, and not actually helping anyone else.
Laila Mickelwait constantly asserts that PornHub is a "crime scene" full of rape videos (despite the fact that they only have videos from verified producers), tries to harass advertisers and credit card companies, and even tries to get search engines to pretend that PornHub doesn't exist.
Why, considering social media platforms, churches, schools, and other adult websites have an exponentially more serious problem than PornHub ever did? Might it be because PornHub is the most popular and well-known porn site? Might it be that the goal is getting donations, especially from churchgoers and social media users?
It all makes more sense when considering that Exodus Cry's roots are in churches that have a negative fixation on adult media, often to the point of preaching against it more than sloth, envy, greed, gluttony, and gossip combined.
Laila Mickelwait constantly asserts that PornHub is a "crime scene" full of rape videos (despite the fact that they only have videos from verified producers), tries to harass advertisers and credit card companies, and even tries to get search engines to pretend that PornHub doesn't exist.
Why, considering social media platforms, churches, schools, and other adult websites have an exponentially more serious problem than PornHub ever did? Might it be because PornHub is the most popular and well-known porn site? Might it be that the goal is getting donations, especially from churchgoers and social media users?
It all makes more sense when considering that Exodus Cry's roots are in churches that have a negative fixation on adult media, often to the point of preaching against it more than sloth, envy, greed, gluttony, and gossip combined.
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