Wednesday, December 29, 2021

She Feels Differently Than You

Men and women are different. Even people still in utero can tell there's a difference. Only people who buy into the dung being shoveled by activists, including certain college and workplace programs, will deny this reality.

This blog and other sources have tried to explain to women that men literally think differently than them. We experience things differently from them in that our senses and nervous system and brain literally process things differently. But I've neglected to reinforce to men that, necessarily, the other side of that coin is that women think and feel and experience differently from men. Very few men truly grasp that and what it means.

A simple way of demonstrating this is unsolicited "crotch shots." I won't rehash that now. Click the link to see what I had to say about those.

But it is applicable to so much more of life.

Naive young men think, "I crave sex all of the time. I like everything about a woman's body. I like the look, feel, and taste of a vulva/vagina. I care about giving a woman intense orgasms and making sure she's satisfied. If she lets me know what turns her on and drives her wild, I'll do that.

"I like having her around. I like her approval. I like doing things for her in general. I like looking after her needs. I like solving problems for her and making her life better. Women probably feel the same way about men."

WRONG!!!

Monday, December 27, 2021

Women Despise Husbands

Women despise husbands. Not all, sure, but most. Actually, women despise men, but a Free Man is at least not paying a woman directly so that she can loathe him in particular, so that's why I am focusing on husbands.

Yet more proof of this was displayed for the world to see on Twitter recently (December 24, 2021).

Someone with the handle "TF1o1" with the Twitter address @NotThe12GAF asked:

Serious question: Where did this notion come from that all our grandmas & great grandmas was married and miserable?

Where did this notion come from they were diminished and oppressed by their husbands?
 
There were so many replies and quote tweets I can't take the time to quote more than a tiny fraction of them here, but scrolling through, these are typical:

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Guys Need to Be Scarce NYE Through February 14

Guys, especially if you made the mistake of spending the November and/or December holidays with a woman you've been seeing for a while, you must get scarce RIGHT NOW, and do NOT resurface until February 15 at least. Do not spend New Years Eve with any woman who is thinking of you as potential marriage material.

Be "busy."

Be "sick."

However you do it, be scarce.

Spend your time with your parents, siblings, friends, hobbies, reading, watching movies and shows, whatever. See new women.

Avoid that marriage track. STAY FREE!

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Riddle Me This

Explicit sexual discussion ahead. Skip this very brief entry if you don't want to read about sex.

Monday, December 20, 2021

A Guy Whose Marriage Had Even Less Sex Than Mine Does

There was a great call during the second hour of the Dr. Laura Program on Friday, December 17, 2021 (the last new broadcast/podcast of the year).

A man called up to talk about his current relationship, but as she often does, Dr. Laura asked him about his prior marriage.

He was raised a Jehovah's Witness (JW) and married at 18. Of course he did. That's how you can make lots of new JWs (start having kids early) and avoid having sex outside of marriage. However, there wasn't any sex. They never had sex. For five years. He never really got any reason to as to why (although, being raised with the idea that sex is dirty except when you're married can really do a number on people, especially women.)

This poor fellow was indoctrinated that divorce was a severe no-no, so he held on. Doctors said it wasn't a medical problem.

Of course he consulted his cult leadership about this. They told him to stick with his marriage and suffer. Of course they did.

Caller left his marriage. He ended up getting an annulment, but not before his (ex) wife tried to really stick it to him via alimony, but things turned out well in that regard (lucky man!!!) Even better, he left the cult through the ordeal.

Dr. Laura could have explored more about how the cult leaders handled things and how his family has reacted (not a word about that), and other fallout from leaving the cult. If his family members are still JWs, they are probably shunning him, unless the cult policy has changed. I'm pretty sure Dr. Laura didn't ask him because she has a friend who is a JW.

Dr. Laura did get to the caller's current relationship, and told him to leave it. Great! Hopefully the man will stay free. He should join the marriage strike.

DO NOT MARRY, GUYS!!!

The only way you can be sure not to choose unwisely is to not choose a wife at all.

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Reminder For Men: GET SCARCE!

December and January are the months you should be avoiding any woman who is thinking of you as marriage material, is hoping to get a ring from you,is hoping to move in with you, expects you to buy her gifts or pay her bills, wants to introduce you to her family, expects to spend Christmas Eve or Day or New Year's Eve with you, or has asked, "Where is this relationship going? What am I to you?"

See other women, see new women, or don't see any women, but "be busy" rather than spending time with any woman who is trying to lock you in and lock you up. If she won't see you when we reach the second half of February, that's not as bad as having her planning your wedding or spending your money.

STAY FREE!!!

Wednesday, December 08, 2021

A Glimpse Into Married Romance

My wife and I take turns arranging for romantic evenings/days. These aren't very frequent, but we alternate anyway. Either way, I'm the breadwinner so it's paid for from my earnings.

This time it was her turn to plan.

Wednesday, December 01, 2021

Letter to Dear Abby Is Another Example of Why Not to Marry

Many women put in their dating profiles that they've "had their fun." Now they're ready for some sucker to who will be "dependable" and won't get the excitement her past lovers did. Consider what "CORNERED IN LOUISIANA" wrote to Dear Abby.

I am a 44-year-old woman who has been married for three years. We all have a past. Unfortunately, I made mistakes in mine that I foolishly mentioned to my husband when he asked.

I'd be interested in know how and when he asked.

I had a threesome in my early 20s, which I didn't think was a big deal because I was young and experimenting with my sexuality.

But it was a "mistake"?

He's now insisting on my having one with him.

Well, yeah. Nowhere is religion or morality mentioned in this letter. Threesomes are an extremely common fantasy for men, and this is widely known. Absent a shared religion or moral code that prohibits it, OF COURSE he wants a threesome.

He thinks I cheated on him because when we met nine years ago, I was still friends with the people involved.

Did he REALLY say it that way? If so that's ridiculous, but really... would you be OK if he was still friends with people he'd had sex with but he didn't tell you? And note guys, please note that when a woman say's "He's just a friend" it could mean that she's had sex with him.

Now, what he might mean is that he feels cheated because you were willing to do things (that he wants) with others that you won't do with him, the guy who signed on the dotted line and "layed down his life" for you, as Dr. Laura puts it.

I love him, but I feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. What should I do?

What does that even mean? Did you not enjoy the threesome? If you handled it right, it wouldn't be just about him. You'd enjoy it, too.

What should you do? Don't do anything you don't want to do. And he shouldn't do anything he doesn't want to do.

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Men Need to Help Each Other But Are Allegedly Doing It Wrong

The Institute for Family Studies published an article by Canadian-based journalist, Ari David Blaff. It is headlined "Saving Men from the Men’s Rights Movement."

For most in North America, the word “Men’s Rights Advocate” (MRA) is synonymous with sexism and hatred. Members are seen as resentful guys projecting their poisonous hatred at a changing world that’s left them behind. That judgement is not entirely misplaced.

To me, "MRA" is almost as useless without clarification, as "feminist." What matters is what people MEAN when they use the term. But of course, the USA is misandrist and Canada appears to be even more so, so things that focus on men, other than to tell them to die in war, fund government schemes, sacrifice themselves in marriage, back up women in parenting, or otherwise serve women is seen as bad. What I call Free Men can be, and often are, happy, not wallowing in hatred at all.

Sunday, November 28, 2021

December is Upon Us

Guy's it's here. This is the month that you must become (or stay) scarce to any woman who is thinking of you as a future husband. This is especially true if you're an American who didn't evade before Thanksgiving.

There are ads on television, radio, and websites/apps right now trying to get men to buy jewelry and automobiles for women. NO NO NO!!!

If you haven't done so already, you need to start implementing your holiday game plan. Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day are on their way.

There are two main considerations for you:

1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.

2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.

This year has been different, due to pandemic limitations.

It's possible you either have maintained a roster and bullpen of women. It's also possible you have acquired more, even if just through online communications.

Whatever is the case, don't let the pandemic conditions cause you to do something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. As much tragedy as there has been, the pandemic will ultimately be a bump in the road of life. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Be Thankful For Being Free

If' you're a Free Man, count that as one of the thing for which to be thankful as we Americans celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

All over the country, men, many of whom are beaten dogs, are spending a day or multiple days with people they can't stand because they were foolish enough to marry, propose marriage, live with a woman, or be "in a relationship" with a woman. In addition, many of these men have even paid for flights, hotel rooms, and other expenses to facilitate this.

Don't let that happen to you!

If you're in the USA, you should have already taken evasive action. If you're not in the USA, take evasive action before the next holiday!

Be thankful for being a Free Man, and stay a Free Man, and help other men stay free.

Are you free? Are you a beaten dog? Or, are you still blissfully delusional in your marriage, relationship, or desire to be in one? Whichever is the case, feel free to comment below to tell us about it.

Monday, November 22, 2021

They Can't Put Him Back Together Again

The jig is up, The horse is out of the barn. Marriage is dead.

Some people haven't accepted that, and desperately want to turn back the clock.

It can't be done.

There has been such a shift in our culture and it's not going to shift back.

Friday, November 19, 2021

What Marriages Does My Son See?

Over and over again, we are told that our sons will see how to be a husband by how we behave towards our wife.

What does my son see?

He sees that I work, I also do almost all of the chores and errands, and that his mother mostly sits around watching television and playing games, and spends a little time on a hobby. He sees that I get up every day, often early. He sees that his mom usually sleeps in. He sees us kiss, but he doesn't see his mother seeing me off, welcoming me back, or doing just about anything for me. When she asks him to do something for her that I would do if I was there, he sometimes tells her that she's capable of doing it herself.

So what about other marriages?

Thursday, November 18, 2021

November Means American Men Must Get Scarce

Free Men, hopefully you didn't spend your Halloween weekend catering to a woman.

If you haven't done so already, you need to start implementing your holiday game plan. Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day are on their way.

There are two main considerations for you:

1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.

2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.

This year has been different, due to pandemic limitations.

It's possible you either have maintained a roster and bullpen of women. It's also possible you have acquired more, even if just through online communications.

Whatever is the case, don't let the pandemic conditions cause you to do something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. As much tragedy as there has been, the pandemic will ultimately be a bump in the road of life. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.

Friday, November 05, 2021

Dr. Laura is Wrong About Prenups For First Marriages - GET ONE!

Well, it happened again. [This entry has been bumped up from May 2018.] While I agree with Dr. Laura on so much, one thing I definitely disagree with her on is the issue of prenuptial agreements for first marriages. While she urges prenups for "second" marriages when at least one potential spouse has children, she is vehemently against prenups for childless people entering into a first marriage (people shouldn't be marrying if they have minor children).

A woman called in on yesterday's show (April 30, 2018) who sounded happy with her boyfriend, but when the topic of marriage came up, he stated he'd want a prenup. Dr. Laura told the caller (and, as a result, listeners in the same situation) to dump the boyfriend.

This is rare bad advice from her that she gives consistently.

Finding a match for marriage is difficult. The caller (or a listener) could be throwing away a perfectly good match and will now seek out a man who will be willing to sign really bad contracts. Is it really a good idea to enter into a financial partnership (marriage) with someone willing to sign bad financial contracts???

The fact is, the courts already have a prenup for you. It is based on family law in your state. You might as well be encouraged to come up with your own customized one before a marriage license is issued.

Getting a prenup is no more a sign that someone is planning for divorce than homeowner's insurance is planning for your house to burn down. We buy insurance and prepare in other ways for all sorts of things we hope don’t happen or we plan the avoid. Why let the state, which doesn't care at all about morality or how either spouse behaved, decide for you, when you can decide – somewhat – for yourself?

"Ah, but this is different because you can resolve to not leave your spouse and treat them well so they won't leave you."

Let's be real.

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

It's Not Just Divorce

Comments continue to be left at YouTube on the two worst Prager University videos (most of their videos are great). We've already analyzed the two videos, "Be a Man, Get Married" here, here, and here, and "The Sexiest Man Alive" here. But you can go check out the comments for yourself.

The misleading "married men are better off" stuff is still being left in the comments, between the comments that expose the serious flaws in the videos.

It's not just divorce, or if she cheats. It's today's "marriage" itself as offered by our laws and culture, and most of today's women, that are problematic to the point that marriage is a bad deal for men. The sacrifices, compromises, obligations, and risks are too significant without any guaranteed benefit. This is especially so for a man who doesn't want children, but even a man who wants children has to consider whether it is worth it to have children under such conditions, with a woman who'll have parental rights as opposed to a surrogate.

And if we're honest, most men aren't in a position to be good husbands and fathers.

But yes, on top of that, the possibility of divorce can't be left out of consideration.

Dr. Laura likes asking a similar question about possible marriages with minor stepchildren involved, so I'm going to ask one. If you had the choice to board an airplane or not for a VOLUNTARY trip that isn't necessary and will have little or no benefit, and there was a 33% chance (that's a 1 in 3 chance) the airplane was going to crash and kill you in a painful way, would you get on that airplane? What if, by getting on that airplane, it was MORE LIKELY THAN NOT you'd either be painfully killed or seriously injured? Would you get on that airplane?

No rational person would say yes. But that's what men are doing when they marry into a first marriage with no child of his own to a childless woman. It's even worse if one or both of you has been married before and/or have at least one child.

Grampa might have been married for life, and claimed to be happy, but he married in a different era.

Ask yourself...

Why do I need someone else living in my house and messing it up?
Why do I need more and larger bills?
Why do I need someone around yapping, nagging me, complaining to me, and arguing with me?
Why do I need someone else's problems?
Why do I need someone else's annoying family and cackling friends in my life?
Why do I need to invite the government into my home and financial accounts?
Why do I need someone else around that I constantly have to entertain and take care of?
Why do I need someone else passing judgment on my family and friends and causing problems between me and them?
Why do I need to make a woman my default medical decision maker when I'm not able to communicate AND simultaneously make her my default beneficiary?
Why do I need someone who is going to hinder my ability to earn?
Why do I need someone who isn't as successful at increasing wealth having an equal say in what happens with my income?

You don't. So don't do it.

Wednesday, October 06, 2021

It's Not Too Early to Form Your Holiday Game Plan

Free Men, it's NOT to early to think about the holidays, and by that, I mean Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day. 

There are two main considerations for you:

1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.

2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.

This year has been different, due to pandemic limitations.

It's possible you either have maintained a roster and bullpen of women. It's also possible you have acquired more, even if just through online communications.

Whatever is the case, don't let the pandemic conditions cause you to do something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. As much tragedy as there has been, the pandemic will ultimately be a bump in the road of life. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Avoiding Rattlesnakes is Good Sense

I saw a tweet go by from The Good Men Project. The headline was "5 Fears That Keep Us Single". The implication, given the account, was that if men want to be good, they should be in an exclusive relationship. I reject that. [This entry is bumped up.]

Anyway, as often is the case with these things, the link was to something what was posted months ago, in this case it was posted in November 2017. The article was originally from a matchmaking/dating website, so that tells you right there what some of the problem with it is going to be. What's more is that it was written by a woman.

But I didn't know that when I saw the tweet.

It made me think. What "fears" keep men single? Having a fear isn't necessarily a bad thing. People should fear live rattlesnakes to the point that they stay away from them. Fangs full of poison are usually going to be metaphor instead of fact when it comes to women, but yes, men do have some fears that rightly have them avoid relationships. Here are some:

Monday, August 23, 2021

One More Reason to Limit Relationships

Here's another reason for men to avoid marriage and keep relationships (with women) limited if even bothering with them at all: The Permanent Record. [This is an entry from a few years ago, bumped up.]

Oh, you may think she subscribed to "forgiveness" or even "forgive and forget". But very few women actually do. All it takes is for them to get angry enough, or be hit with the wrong hormone, and things you thought you'd "worked through" together and put behind you as a couple will come back to haunt you. Since nobody is perfect, some of these things could be actual screw-ups on your part, but others will just be matters of taste or things you were right to do (or not do) that she didn't like. It could even be your tone or how you did something.

I was thinking about this because my wife responded to something I told her that should have been good news with a very cold dismissal of indifference, citing that we had to cancel certain plans she'd been excited about a year ago. Never mind that if we had gone through the plans, we'd have several thousand more dollars in credit card debt now.

It hit me that I'm going to be hearing about this literally for the rest of my life. She's going to bring it up over and over again and let it cloud all sorts of things.

Never mind that I make well above the national median household income. She's expensive, and she herself has said so. I refuse to liquidate our retirement savings to sustain a lifestyle that is beyond our means. I don't want to take more tax hits on income on which I've already been taxed and we need MORE retirement savings, not less. It's bad enough we're not putting more away now.

The fact of the matter is, my current income would be more than enough to provide me with a comfortable life, all the involvement in my hobbies I'd like, and a comfortable retirement. This would be the case even if I never increased my income other than along with inflation.

But it's not just me. It's my wife, our kids, and my wife's brother and his wife.

So think about that the next time someone tells you married men are better off financially.

And let The Permanent Record be another reason NOT to marry. If you insist on being in a relationship, when the record becomes too much to deal with, it is time to move on and clear that space in your life for someone fresh. It'll take time for that new record with a new woman to get bad. And the previous woman won't have to deal with you anymore, so you'll be saving her aggravation, right? The Permanent Record is just one of many reasons to keep relationships casual, rather than forming a legal corporation with a woman.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Why Health Matters in Relationships

My marriage has a serious birth defect.

It is that I needed and wanted a wife who was functionally healthy, I made that clear, I thought that's what I was getting, and instead I got a wife whose physical health is deteriorating and who has a history of serious mental illness, and who didn't reveal those things to me.

Friday, August 06, 2021

Stop Child Abusers

Child abuse happens everywhere, regardless of demographics. What's worse, some child abuse is captured on video and uploaded online for perverts to enjoy.

That's one reason I implore people not to waste their time, money, and energy trying to stop CONSENTING ADULTS from making erotica and CONSENTING ADULTS from viewing erotica. All of those resources should be directed at preventing child abuse (and the abuse of adults) and locking up those who perpetrate it.

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Train Wreck Thrills Dennis Prager

Dennis Prager was so thrilled with an article that he happily read it and touted it on his radio show, had the writer on his show, and linked to the article on his website. Dennis Prager was downright giddy about it.

Turns out this guy is his friend. Now, I don't expect Dennis to trash his friend, especially on the air. Instead, he simply should not have mentioned the article. But Dennis couldn't help himself, because he's so obsessed with advocating that people marry and have children that he lauds it even if it is clearly a train wreck.

Dr. Laura and Dennis Prager would both be called conservative talk show hosts. Yet I  think Dr. Laura would, in most of my points below, agree with me. If Dennis' friend had called Dr. Laura on the air and proposed what we'll see below, Dr. Laura would have probably ripped him a new one.

Enough intro.

Joel Alperson wrote at Medium "How to Marry and Have Four Newborns at 60."

Right off the bat, that's a huge NOPE!!!

A Chinese woman in her late 40’s and an American man of almost 60 were finally living their dream.

Over ten years of age difference. Not good. Of course Dennis, being married to a woman 15 years his junior, has no qualm about that.

Wei (my wife) was a perfect fit and throughout the nine years she worked for us, there was never a flirt or hint of anything romantic between us. That was more my doing than hers.

After all, she wasn’t Jewish (and I wanted to have a Jewish family), she was an employee, she lived in China and was married. What’s more, it was around the time I hired Wei that I met the woman I would marry.

So this a second marriage (at least) for each. Most second marriages divorce. Different country, different culture, was an employee, different religion... how many red flags can there be?

But, as life is rarely predictable and sometimes horribly unfair, this seemingly impossible-to-marry single, who married for the first time at 47, saw his marriage end in divorce after only seven years.

That was to be expected since you married at the first time at 47.

I was shattered. The part of my life I most wanted was now over.

After finally starting a race that almost everyone else I knew was running, I found myself behind the starting line again.

Getting married and popping out kids is a race?

But it’s funny, things can happen when one is running out of time. As options narrow, choices that once seemed crazy can seem perfectly reasonable.

That's called desperation.

Who would help me start my search for a wife in China? It was Wei.

The woman who became his next wife. Conflict of interest?

It was only after months of meeting other women in different parts of China, usually after Wei had traveled to, yes, meet and pre-qualify them, that I finally noticed her.

This isn't romantic. It's a mess.

After over ten years of employing her, I told Wei that of all the women I had met in China, the one I most wanted to be with was her. She was stunned — both for the reason I expected and for one I hadn’t: she had committed to marry another man.

I felt even worse when she added that she had been interested in me for years. But, like a professional poker player, she’d had no “tells”. She never betrayed her feelings even slightly.

This is so painful!!!!

But Wei’s marriage was troubled from the beginning. Though married, they lived in different cities, seeing each other and communicating with one another rarely. The last straw was when Wei learned her husband was communicating with other women via a Chinese chat service.

Is she bad at picking men? Or does she neglect them?

She separated from him and virtually all contact between them ended.

That what she told you.

It was after this separation and her plans for a divorce that we started talking about our future together.

Why include a detail like this? Maybe you're protesting too much?

Given that a divorce in China can be appealed and the extreme acts some in China will take to save face, Wei’s escape ultimately involved her hiding from her husband for almost two years.

Yeah, this is a way to start a marriage.

Another challenge was how we could quickly have the two or three children we wanted (yes, we have four . . . remember that part about life being unpredictable?). As Wei was still living in China, we chose to have our children in Asia.

Remember, she was in her 40s. He was in his 50s. They rented wombs, which, especially in other countries, can be fraught with ethical issues.

And as she was too old to have them naturally, we used surrogates. The laws surrounding this type of childbirth forced us to operate in multiple countries.

Maybe that should have been a clue!!!

A friend helped us find two surrogates — in Thailand of all places. And the embryos were implanted in Cambodia (don’t ask about the room where I gave my sperm sample. The awful porn DVD they were playing was, to put it mildly, not helpful).

So it was ALLEGEDLY his sperm. Has he done a DNA test? Whose eggs were used? Another ethical consideration.

How many human beings were discarded in this process? ("Extra" embryos)

As their due dates approached, the surrogates traveled to China where our children were born. You’re probably thinking, “Wasn’t there an easier way to do this?” Maybe, but I don’t regret our choice because the result was four happy, healthy children.

You could have adopted embryos or born children, you know, instead of intentionally creating children whose parents will be elderly before long.

The moral of this story? Actually, there are three.

Don't marry. Don't have kids. Avoid working with women.

The first is that fear can destroy one’s life and it had seriously compromised mine. It was fear that kept me from confronting my dad over the very poor relationship we had.

Oh, hello.

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Don't Fall For the Fundraising Ploy

Let's look at the legal/political and cultural track record of the "religious right," shall we? Mind you, I'm in agreement with Evangelical Protestants when it comes to theology, and, in a lot of respects, how to live. The "religious right" tends to be comprised of people who identify as some variation of Christian or what are seen as related faiths, including Mormonism, and some Jews, mostly Orthodox and some Conservatives, who are politically active and try to align their political positions with their faith.

They've had a little success with restrictions on abortion, but essentially elective abortion has been broadly legal for 47 years, and many ardent pro-life religious conservatives are saying they just want it to go back to the states, which means just about anyone who wants an abortion will still be able to get one even if it is taken away from the federal level.

They've also had some success with limiting sex ed in public schools. That's a battle that continues.

I don't know if there is any area where they've had more success than religious freedom, but they haven't gotten everything they've wanted and, if we're honest, this wasn't just their cause; there has been broad public support, including from many people who aren't religious, for some basic religious freedom; it's an enumerated Constitutional right.

That's a small list of victories. The list of legislative and cultural failures is far longer.

As much noise as they made about these things, these people were not able to stop:

  • Sex, violence, raunchiness, and anti-Christian themes in music, video games, and media in general

  • Widespread acceptance and use of sexual toys and aids (and yes, they did try)

  • Mainstreaming of sexy lingerie (Victoria's Secret shops in malls, complete with easily visible ads and displays?)

  • Decriminalization and widespread acceptance/destigmatization of fornication

  • Decriminalization and widespread acceptance/destigmatization of unmarried cohabitation

  • Legitimizing and widespread acceptance of out-of-wedlock parenting

  • Widespread acceptance and practicing of casual sex, booty calls, hooking up, friends-with-benefits

  • Women in more military roles

  • "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for LGBTQ people in the military

  • Replacement of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" with further acceptance

  • Adoption of domestic partnership laws for same-sex couples

  • Legalization and widespread acceptance of same-sex marriage

  • Adoptions by same-sex couples

  • Reproductive technologies and programs such as surrogate gestation, in vitro fertilization, sperm donation, egg donation, freezing embryos

  • "Death with dignity" options for assisted suicide

  • Increasing acceptance of transgenderism, genderfluidity, nonbinary identity, gender nonconforming, and increasing legal protections thereof

  • Gay-Straight Alliances and similar organizations in schools

  • Sex week at colleges

  • LGBTQ representation in media and theme park events

  • LGBTQ pride representation by large companies with prominent brands

  • Gambling (lotteries, casinos, etc.)

  • Increasing marijuana legalization

  • Barring of creationism/intelligent design in public schools

  • Denial of public education vouchers
Try as they did, they also weren't able to prevent Bill Clinton from getting elected (defeating Reagan's former VP and incumbent President George H. W. Bush) and re-elected, prevent Obama from getting elected (defeating a ticket with Sarah Palin) and re-elected, prevent Trump from getting the GOP nomination, nor the election of Joe Biden, nor have they been able to stop the House and Senate, over the recent decades, from going Democratic some of the time. 

So what makes them think their latest push will work?

The push I'm talking about is a recent call by a few elected Republicans followed by dutiful columnists, to try to "fight" "porn". It's especially ridiculous considering there is very little agreement on what would constitute victory (what does fight really mean) and what counts as the kind of porn that must be fought.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Thanks to This Anonymous Commenter

I wrote here about how marrying was the biggest mistake I've ever made. There are great comments at the bottom of the entry.

A new anonymous comment was left recently, and I want you to see it.

You might as well put no date on this - it's timeless and true. Insane custody battle with ex-wife and final focus on my kids took a chunk out of me. Fast forward, haven't talked to my youngest for 2 years (she lives with mom and her 72 year old boyfriend (she's 57)) and just reconnected with my oldest. Almost remarried last year until the shrieking started and I ended it, narrowly escaping another lifetime of torment.

Anonymous, I'm so sorry about all that crap you've been through. I hope your comments and my postings can help prevent someone else from going through such awful stuff, and I'm glad you did avoid making another serious mistake.

Don't get married if you're a man. Just don't.

Excellent advice.

Most men can have full, happy, worthwhile, productive lives without legally marrying. Marriage is NOT to a man's benefit if he's a breadwinner. Most marriages fail. There's simply no compelling reason to take the risks and obligations, and many reasons not to.

He also provided two great links. Read them, especially if you are man who is planning to marry or ever just open to marrying.

Here they are:

https://philip.greenspun.com/blog/2015/09/21/burning-man-attitudes-toward-marriage-and-children/

https://web.archive.org/web/20120310135102/http://themenscenter.com/busterb/dont_get_married.htm

Monday, July 12, 2021

Dennis Prager Show on College Dating

Recently, Dennis Prager covered the topic of how college students/young people interact when it comes to sex or attempted romance. He has an intern from Harvard on-air weekly during this summer. She described that most of her peers haven't been on actual dates in the last year or two (even before lockdowns).

What they would do is talk with a prospect at a party, and then go somewhere somewhat private for a hookup. (Please note, she wasn't saying she did these things, but that is was common with her peers.)

She pointed out, including with actual texts, that women her age think is is creepy for a man to ask a woman out on a date.

Of course this bothers Dennis Prager, who wants men to ask women out, romance them, marry them, and make babies with them.

But this is the world as it is now.

Decent men who are willing to ask a woman out and pay her way through an evening of dinner and entertainment and conversation are seen as creepy.

Meanwhile, men can get sex easily, without spending any money at all, without having to plan and execute a date.

Learn from this, guys.

Don't be creepy!!! Do NOT take her out to dinner and a movie. Do NOT ask to meet for lunch of coffee. Don't send her gifts.

If you want to meet up, ask her what time she's having dinner. Then, add 90 minutes to the time she gives you and tell her you'll meet her for drinks at that time, or you'll bring some wine to her place, depending.

If there isn't an available woman in your contacts that you haven't seen already in the last week, try hanging out in a hotel bar. DO NOT approach women. That would be creepy! Rather, look like you are waiting for a buddy or watching the game the have on the screen. Hot women hate to be ignored. If one approaches you, take it from there.

Long live equality and liberation!

Thursday, July 08, 2021

Marriage Sellers Try to Fool Husbands Again

The marriage sellers at Institute for Family Studies are trying to fool husbands into telling their wife about their porn viewing preferences.

“One day when my husband left the house, I built up the courage to search our Internet history. What I found was a stark reality. I felt sick and numb, until the pain and the anger finally rolled in. I can handle a lot of things—but lying isn’t one of them.”

So she'd still be happy if she hadn't snooped, right? How about how violated he feels?

What have we learned from this, guys?

1) Don't marry or even live with a woman.

2) If you're going to ignore that first point, cover your tracks.

In a nationally representative study of couples in committed relationships, 37% of men reported more pornography use than their partner believed was occurring.

Emphases mine.

What that tells us is when the men know how often then can expect sex, 63 percent are viewing porn less or the same amount as their partner believes. Basically, 2/3rds. A significant majority.

In casually dating relationships, 43% of the men reported using pornography daily or every other day, while none of their partners reported awareness of that level of use.

One thing this tells us is that avoiding a "committed" relationship allows men much more privacy. It also tells us 57 percent of men who are in causal relationships aren't even viewing porn as often as every other day.

Notice we aren't told how often the men in supposedly committed relationships are viewing porn. Just that a minority of them are doing it more often than their partner thinks.

Viewers may reason that their private behavior concerns only themselves or hide their activity to prevent negative reactions from their partner.

And they are right.

However, openness and honesty in a relationship—transparency—is about more than pornography itself.

Oh?

You look terrible in that.

It's not what you're wearing that makes you look fat.

You look like crap in general these days.

We don't want to watch your stupid shows.

We don't want to deal with your parents or siblings.

We don't want to deal with your friends.

We're tired of making a big deal about February 14 and our anniversary.

We mind a lot that you stopped doing that thing in bed.

How's that for honesty? And don't think I'm unaware that most women have terrible truths to say to men, too. We know you think you settled.

One of the vital elements of relational well-being is secure attachment, or a partner’s ability to view the relationship as safe and dependable.

How is that possible when most relationships end?

Besides being a matter of relationship ethics, keeping intimate information and behavior from one’s romantic partner, especially when it touches upon the sexual realm, can erode relationship trust and couple intimacy, jeopardizing secure attachment.

Oh, that's a hoot. Like she's really told him everything about her sexual experiences.

Sustaining secure attachment requires openness, honesty, fidelity, and trust.

OK, then most people aren't going to have sustained secure attachment. Most don't.

With men three to four times more likely to view pornography alone and leave their partners in the dark about it, pornography use is known to specifically impact the attachment trust of female partners.

Men are visual creatures. Women are far more likely to use a vibrator alone. Is it wrong for women to use vibrators alone and not volunteer to their partner how often they do?

Pornography’s scripts of eroticism, objectification, promiscuity, and misogyny combined with secrecy can significantly impair attachment for both partners.

Oh, yes, it's the secrecy that makes it bad. It would all be fine with this folks if men watched porn but were upfront transparent about it, right?

Give me a break.

There's nothing wrong with eroticism. It's the whole point of porn!

"Objectification" is one of those words most people don't even really know the meaning of. All media objectifies.

Promiscuity? Ah, so, they'd be just fine with porn if the characters were all married to each other? Again, give me a break.

Misogyny? Sure, if you define that as women doing things men like.

As many as one-half of women in romantic relationships disapprove of pornography to some degree

Some because of articles like this. All the more reason to stay a Free Man.

Wednesday, July 07, 2021

A Review of the Dr. Laura Show Podcast - UPDATED

I've been a listener of talk radio for a long time. Currently, there are three radio talk radio shows for which I listen via their paid subscription podcast of the shows. These are supposed to be their regular daily (weekday) shows, minus the breaks.

All of these shows air Monday through Friday. This time, I'm reviewing the Dr. Laura Schlessinger Show podcast.

Overview

The show runs live on SiriusXM 111 from 11am-2pm Pacific Time. It's a call-in talk show, although Dr. Laura will often read letters on the air. Less frequently, she will monologue, and when she does, it is usually to start the show and won't last more than 20 minutes, usually a lot less. It might be about the news or a movie she watched or competitive sailing or her dog, or a list of tips or just about anything. The bulk and core of the show, however, are the calls.

With very few exceptions, the calls are about morals, values, ethics, dealing with anxiety or other unwanted feelings, and behaving better and more effectively when it comes to dating, relationships, marriage, parenting, work, family, neighbors, staying healthy, etc. Dr. Laura's priority is what's best for children. The calls are NOT about politics or the news, other than "How do I deal with anxiety over what's happening in the news?" or "My brother hates me because of my politics." Callers are also not allow to address or reference another caller other than to say "Their call prompted me to call in." Dr. Laura WILL NOT debate or argue - about anything. The show is there for her to get her messages out, and as she admits, sometimes she can't help the caller at all, but rather the caller serves as a warning to listeners about what NOT to do.

Friday, July 02, 2021

Are You A Free Man? Celebrate and Cherish Your Independence

Independence Day is upon us in the USA.

If you are a Free Man, celebrate and cherish your independence.

Whether you are a Free Man or not, encourage other men to stay free.

Friday, June 18, 2021

What Is MGTOW?

MGTOW is Men Going Their Own Way.

It is a classification or description of a diverse spectrum of men who have consciously decided to avoid legally marrying, depending on a woman, or having a woman depend on them. 


Men take this approach out of self defense; for preservation and protection. They see legal marriage or relationships in general in today's culture as too risky for men, laden with obligations and sacrifices with little to nothing to be gained by them. MGTOW seek to disengage or minimize involvement in systems and situations in which they think men are at a disadvantage.

Just about anyone who would consider himself as MGTOW would also not cohabitate with a woman. Most would avoid exclusive relationships entirely. And many avoid any ongoing interdependent interaction with woman. (This isn't to say such men necessarily shun their mothers, sisters, etc. This is mostly about romantic/social relationships and often professional relationships.)

It is too simplistic to say it is a reaction to feminism. Many MGTOW fully support equality for women under the law, in as much as it is possible. MGTOW a reaction to what is seen as misandry in our common systems and culture, especially our family laws and courts. In fact, some MGTOW could claim also to be feminists is that they support women being equal under the law, strong, and independent.

MGTOW isn't an organization. There are online forums, bloggers, and vloggers who identify as MGTOW, but there isn't a formal movement. Individualism is common among MGTOW. Men who identify as MGTOW might date or not, might be promiscuous or virgins, might have a religion or not, might be politically affiliated or not, might espouse an overall political philosophy or not, might believe in conspiracy theories or not. Some have previously been married, some are fathers. Some have never been through the wringer of family courts, but you don't have to be hit by a bus yourself to know you don't want to stand in the street.

There are no identifying qualities of a MGTOW man, aside from his self-identification as such, other than a rejection of current marriage laws and dominant cultural expectations for romantic relationships.

Thursday, June 17, 2021

Why Are They Surprised?

On Monday, December 30, Michael Medved sounded like he was baffled as to why more and more Americans are placing having (more) children on a much lower place on their list of priorities. Or, at least, he sounded upset. [This entry has been bumped up from 1/1/2020.]

He really needs to have someone who is proudly child-free on the show; someone who can articulate well why they don't see a need for themselves to have children or to encourage others to have children. I'm not talking about an abortion advocate or a population hysteric. Just someone who recognizes that the world has changed and children do not fit into their plans.

Being an observant Jew (of the more conservative - small "c" bent), Medved has no doubt been steeped in a subculture that encourages members to produce as many new congregants as they can (though perhaps not as strongly as Roman Catholicism or Mormonism). More individually, he's a grandpa. The days of struggling to actually raise children is a distant memory for him. Experiences as a  non-custodial grandfather are very different than those of a parent.

Children change EVERYTHING.

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Are Pixels to Blame For a Decline in Marriage Rates?

That favorite villain of so many, "porn", is implied in recent news reporting to be a culprit in the marriage rate decline. [This post has been bumped up from earlier publication.] See the headline of Paul Bedard's article at The Washington Examiner for one example: Shock study: Marriage rate declines with porn use, threatening economy, society

Yes, yes, out of everything that has happened, let's blame pixels.
Pornography is replacing the desire among young men for marriage, according to a new study that finds males are chasing “low-cost sexual gratification” on the web over a wife and family.
Once again we see that people think men are supposed to pay a lot of money to have orgasms.

There's so much to be said, and so little time. 

1) Are there some men who say, "Hey, who needs marriage when I can watch porn?" There probably are a few - a very few. Let's think about those men for a moment. If a man who would and could otherwise marry is looking at porn as a replacement for marriage, that means the only thing he thinks women bring to marriage is visual/auditory sexual stimulation, or he thinks the other things women bring to marriage do not outweigh his costs for getting and being married. Do you think it would be a good idea for such a man to get married?

2) However, there are other men who use porn because they haven't married (yet). They want the stimulation, they're not getting it from a wife, so they view porn.

3) There are unmarried men who do not view porn, or at least only incidentally view it. Some of these men never want to marry (again).

4) There are married men who view porn. Some of those men are satisfied with their sex life with their wife, some of the wives are happy with their sex life, and in other cases, he's viewing porn because his wife is sexually rejecting.

5) There are men who marry, and marry at the same age they would have with or without porn, who viewed porn all along.


6) Men can get sexual gratification without viewing porn and without being married. Whether it is masturbation or a girlfriend, or a shack-up, or a booty call, or a friend-with-benefits, it is very easy for an unmarried man to get sexual gratification these days without viewing porn and with little time, money, emotion, or effort spent.

Friday, June 11, 2021

What's Going on With PornHub?

Have you heard that PornHub (and parent company MindGeek) are in trouble or that the company is uniquely problematic? Check out this Twitter thread for a crash-course on what's going on.

Monday, June 07, 2021

Welcome Reddit People

Thanks to the person who linked to this popular entry of the blog in the MGTOW Reddit.

I'm a married father. Marrying was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I encourage men to remain what I call Free Men, and be responsible, productive citizens, and to avoid being used and abused. If you agree, consider spreading the word.

Bookmark my blog. Comment on posts. I hope you find some useful posts here. Share them as much as you want. I'm not getting ad money, nor do I have tip jar. I'm just trying to help men, and when I see that I have, that's reward enough for me.

Wednesday, June 02, 2021

The Marriage Strike Really Bothers Prager

Dennis Prager again used his "Male-Female Hour" today to advocate people marry, or as I put it, enter into a Mexican Standoff with the state. The way he did this was asking people who'd been together for a while without being married to call, including if they had eventually married and to say whether or not it made a difference. The "funny" thing is he wanted to know if it felt different, he said, but later he dismissed the feelings of people in long term relationships who didn't feel like marrying. [This entry has been bumped up.]

I've previously discussed his rejection of the "I was burned by marriage before" reason for not marrying (again). Very similar to that, he derided the feelings of people who say they don't want to marry because their parents had a bad marriage. He again compared marriage to driving, saying that if your parents had been in a bad car accident, would that mean you'd never drive? Well, for some people, yes! But does he really want to equate marriage with driving?

There's a big difference. People grow up under their parents' marriage. The live in it. They see other people driving all of the time. They don't see the marriages of other people as intimately as they see their marriage of their own parents. Their parents' marriage is the most prominent experience with marriage, by far. It's completely understandable that they don't want to marry if their parents had a horrible marriage.

What if every summer while growing up, the family vacationed for two months in the same vacation home, and the kid hated those two months? How likely would they be to want to go the trouble of buying a similar vacation home in the same neighborhood to live there as an adult? And that's just two months a year. Their parents' marriage was something that had an effect on them every day.

When Prager says he doesn't have any respect for someone who says they don't want to marry because of their parents marriage, I am prompted to give a reply Prager previously found to be lifechanging:

SO WHAT?

So what if you don't respect them? Your respect and five dollars can get them a decent hamburger.


There's another difference between driving and marrying.

Driving gets someone to someplace they want to go. It can help them earn a living, visit their doctor, and do all sorts of practical and enjoyable things.

Especially for a man who is already getting everything he wants from a relationship, marriage gets him nothing. It doesn't take him anywhere he wants to go.

Growing up under a bad marriage can be very damaging to someone. Does Prager deny the impact marriage has on children?

Prager has clearly felt compelled to marry, so much so that he's in his third marriage. And it bothers him that are so many other men who don't feel like they have the same obligation.

Is this a matter of misery loves company? Is this a matter of Prager feeling like men should pay for sex and it isn'r fair that there are men who aren't, or are paying less?

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

The Radio Industry is Strange

Earlier I posted, and a few moments ago I deleted, a rant about how I had wanted to listen to the debut of the Dan Bongino Show as a replacement for the Rush Limbaugh Show and I missed it, blaming neglect of the website/app for iHeartRadio.

I had expected it to hear it yesterday on AM 1150 The Patriot KEIB, which was literally formatted around the Rush Limbaugh Show. But when I listened yesterday morning, it was a (repeated, I assume) guest host on the late Rush Limbaugh's show. I couldn't figure out why the website wasn't streaming Dan Bongino, and why the Twitter account for KEIB, an iHeartRadio station, didn't explain what was happening.

Turns out even though Bongino is replacing Limbaugh pretty much using the infrastructure Limbaugh built, in the Los Angeles market, his show is running on AM 790 KABC, a Cumulus station. So yesterday, KABC listeners tuned in and heard Bongino speaking fondly of Rush Limbaugh, who didn't air on KABC. I realize the show is national, but it still seems strange it wouldn't air on 1150.

So now I have to wonder what's going to happen to The Patriot, which airs Hannity in the afternoon. How much longer will they run "Rush Limbaugh"? Is the entire format going to flip soon? Or will they try to fill that slot with a local show? Some other national show? Maybe they'll just give up and run paid infomercials.

UPDATE May 27, 2021: OK, it makes sense now. I fell for some radio marketing hype BS that said Dan Bongino was replacing Rush Limbaugh. That wasn't true, at least not literally. Bongino's show might be replacing the Rush Limbaugh Show in some markets, but he's not taking over Limbaugh's actual show or even his place (as we've seen in the Los Angeles market).

Today, the news broke that Premiere Networks, which is an iHeartMedia subsidiary, announced Clay Travis and Buck Sexton will be the actual replacements of Rush Limbaugh.

There may be some markets which carried Limbaugh which are opting to go with Bongino instead of Travis and Sexton, but Travis and Sexton are the actual heirs to the Rush Limbaugh Show.

Friday, May 21, 2021

If You Get Emails When This Blog Is Updated...

Blogger says they're going to stop emailing you for new posts. So, bookmark this blog and make a point of checking it at least once per week. Make it a habit!!!

Monday, May 17, 2021

A Comment Worth Reading

I hate it when I get a great comment, especially one that obviously took some time to write, and one "profanity" is included. I'm trying to keep profanity off of this blog. If there wasn't much to a comment with profanity, I simply don't publish it. When the comment actually had worthwhile stuff to read, I might do what I'm doing with this comment: make a new post out of it.

"Unknown" left a comment on an entry about one of those articles that tried to get men to sacrifice themselves.
I can’t tell you how much guilt I’ve been shouldering from people on why I am single. I am single at 34 while many of my friends are married. Parents aside I understand they want grandchildren and so do I but NOT now maybe when I’m 45. But this whole shaming from my friends wives to co-workers to relatives to just about any person in a relationship is so ridiculous.
It should be considered sexual harassment when done by coworkers. Seriously. If we're going to have sexual harassment laws and policies, people should get busted for that. It creates just as much of a hostile work environment as an unwanted request for a date.

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

June Is Coming

Sorry, I'm late getting this message out this year, with the lockdowns and all. But some places are opening up, so this message is once again relevant.

Wedding season, gentlemen. Maybe you’re scheduled to be the groom.

Maybe a man you care about is scheduled to be a groom.

Maybe a woman you’re "seeing" or "with" is expecting you to be her date for a wedding or weddings.

Obviously, the first situation is the most dire.

Friday, April 30, 2021

Woman Is Surprised by Modern Dating

Let's check in on Dear Abby and see what's happening there.

NOT CONNECTING IN MISSOURI wrote:

I am a 48-year-old woman, divorced for 10 years.

Let's see... Missouri... middle aged... yeah, not going to be able to get a very high bid.

During that time, I have been in two serious relationships.

I'm wondering what that means? Most likely that she had tha feelz for them.

I'm no prude, but it seems like everyone I date, and who my friends and I talk to, and articles I see are all about sex, having sex, rushing to sex.

Yep. Because sex is fun.

It's like there's no emphasis on actually getting to know a person anymore.

Don't you get to know someone better when you have sex with them?

Let's translate this into English: "I want a man to spend more money on me before I'll have sex with him."

If she TRULY wanted to get to know a guy more, they'd write back and forth and talk on the phone or video chat. She can ask all the questions she wants that way to get to know him better. It doesn't need to be over a dinner at a restaurant.

Wednesday, April 07, 2021

A Stupid Statment About Adult Media

"Porn is abuse of women."

While there is adult media in which the characters (and, let's assume also in which the performers) are abused, when someone makes a statement like the one above, they lose credibility. I see "serious" accounts on Twitter making statements like this.

One way to test statements like this is to consider that there is porn that features no women whatsoever. How could it be abuse of women if two or more guys make a video? Or one guy?

Also, consider this:

A woman asks her boyfriend (or, if you prefer, husband) to appear in a video with her. They get stark naked, and at her urging, he performs cunnilingus on her. They both enjoy it. She uploads the video to charge money from people who access it.

Either,,,

1) This is abuse.
2) This isn't porn.
3) Not all porn is abuse.

Which is it?

If someone is still going to argue that this is abuse, they have to maintain that her reception of cunnilingus at her own urging is somehow abusing her. Or that her doing so on-camera, per her own desire, is abuse.

Does anyone want to argue that nude people doing cunnilingus on video isn't porn?

Any reasonable person is going see that not all porn is abuse. Calling it abuse, though, probably seems more compelling than saying "muh religion" or "It bothers me that men can get erotic stimulation from women, especially without paying large sums of money and trading freedom to do so."

It's the same thing when someone uses the word "violence" in their argument instead of "abuse".

Like it or not, there are men and women who choose to bare their bodies for cameras, and choose to engage in sexual activity for cameras. Trying to force people to stop doing this or stop watching it is futile. People can make, sell, and distribute porn by themselves using their own handheld device. Anyone who claims they can abolish porn is playing on the gullible, probably for money or votes.

Stop Using Stupid Arguments Against Adult Media

Monday, March 22, 2021

It Is Important for Husbands to Speak Up Honestly

Married men are happier* than unmarried men.

That's what we hear all of the time.

Now, it may technically be true. If you group ALL married men and ALL unmarried men and compare them, the married men may report being happier than the unmarried men.

This doesn't mean that signing a legal contract with the state is what has made a man happy. There are many other possible explanations.

First, though, notice that when you group ALL unmarried men together, you are grouping in divorced men, widowed men, men who want to get married but haven't been able to find/win over the "right" woman (likely because they are financially struggling or ill or have some other condition that might make them unhappy), and generally unhappy men, who are less likely to attract and keep a wife. We need studies that compare intentionally unmarried men to married men. My guess is that intentionally unmarried men would report being as happy or even happier than married men. Also, notice that these are percentages about a population. You'll find individuals who are unmarried but happier than the average husband, and married men who are very unhappy in comparison to the average bachelor. Is there any way to guarantee you'll be in the higher levels of happiness? Not that I know of, but when a man is unmarried he has far more control over his own situation.

Friday, March 19, 2021

Would You Encourage Your Child to Gamble?

It's a sad, brutal fact of life that the odds are literally against the average/random person having a lasting, happy marriage. Put another way, most marriages are not successful, if your definition of success is that the marriages last until death and are generally happy ones.

Let's consider the specific facts:

1) 33-40% of first marriages end in divorce. Subsequent marriages have a much higher divorce rate.

2) Of the marriages that don't legally divorce, easily at least 20% (and probably much higher) fall under one of the following scenarios:
  a) legal separation
  b) physical separation (some people stay legally married for decades after they've split, even if they haven't seen each other in years)
  c) one spouse murders the other, whether or not they then kill themselves (other than the person who claims to have found the body, the default suspect in the murder of a married person is their spouse... what does that tell you???)
 d) the marriage would have ended in divorce, but before that could happen one or both spouses died (whether from suicide, overdose, illness, accident, disaster, violent crime, etc.)
 e) the spouses are miserable, but don't divorce for whatever reason (chicken, habit, masochism), and this might or might involve affairs and/or abuse

So, 33 (which is a lowball) and 20 (which is also lowball) add up to 53% of marriages being "failed" marriages. Add in...

3) A small (but I'm sure rapidly growing) percentage of people never marry.

Those facts all add up to mean that we can literally say most marriages are not lasting, happy marriages and most people will not get married and stay happily married for life.

Monday, March 15, 2021

A Report From the Front

Guys, if you're going to be foolish enough to marry (or even just to let a woman live with you), have a professional background check or private investigation into her. It will be worth it. Check out this comment left after one of my previous entries here.

I was dumb enough to marry a narcissistic, evil, moody, gold digging snake. I was lonely and she put on the fake charm. I did not realize how good I had it being single. I had it all.

That is very, very important. Don't fall for peer of family pressure. Don't fall for the Hollywood Hallmark or Focus on the Family or Dennis Prager marriage-selling pitches. There's nothing wrong with being free (unmarried), and for most men, you're better off.

She became meaner, fatter and more abusive by the day.

Believe it or not, especially in religious circles, there are people who read that and say those things are his fault. He should have been able to lead her in a way, or love her in a way, that she wouldn't have done those things. Or that he's some sort of misogynist for having those complaints. Don't fall for that.

After I filed, I had her investigated and found out, the beast had a criminal record and two previous divorces on her record. She expected to walk away with my house and my kids. I hired the best father’s rights attorney, custody experts and employment experts as she claimed she did not work and I was not an involved father. In the end, I won and kept not only my kids but my home, although it took over two years and over six figures to expose the lying old hag. The truth always comes out eventually. So glad the courts did see that she was the problem. Never again!

So sorry you went through all of that, Anonymous! Thanks for the warning. Please comment at any time.

Again, if you're going to be foolish enough to marry (or live with, or impregnate) a woman, there needs to be FULL DISCLOSURE of anything that could possibly be relevant. If there are red flags, including that she held anything back from you, DO NOT STAY!

Among other things, you need to know:

All of her prior residences and/or properties she's owned
Any prior marriages
Any children she's had, including any eggs or embryos she donated
Her entire medical history, including mental health and dental and her birth certificate
Any significant debts she has or has had
Her credit score and history
Her education record
Her driving record
Her arrest/criminal record
Significant assets she has
Judgments against her
Employment history

It's not romantic, but you know what else isn't romantics? Finding out after you've signed a state contract with her, or worse, had a child with her, things you should have known before.

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

He's Doing It Right

Many of the people commenting on this letter to Dear Abby from ALMOST DONE IN NEW YORK think the letter writer is seeing a married man, but it reads to me like he's a pretty good Leykis 101 student or a Free Man.

I have been on and off with a man for two years.

He's been getting sex when he wants it with her for two years. But the relationship isn't "going" anywhere.

In all this time, he has never spent a holiday or Valentine's Day with me, or introduced me to his family or friends.

Perfect! He's not wasting money and effort, nor giving her real insight into his life, nor giving her the impression that he's going to marry her.

He told me to stay in the bathroom at his office when his friends showed up unexpectedly. When I objected, he said, "It's only for 20 minutes." I was horrified.

If that really was his office, it's the one mistake I've detected in this letter. But either way, keeping her from his associated and deflating her are Leykis 101 moves.

He accuses me of picking fights and says I will never be happy with anyone when I try to talk with him about it.

Yup. Keeping her from being complacent or for thinking she can do better than him.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Valentine's Day Aftermath

Are you an unmarried guy who just spent a lot of money and effort on Valentine's Day, only to get what you used to get all of the time? Or did you get less than that?

Did you even propose marriage and give her a ring?

If you're not married, and you just made a big deal about Valentine's Day, and especially if you proposed marriage, you need to step back and think about what you've done and you are doing. Are you regretful? Are you doubting? Are you asking yourself "Why did I do that?" If not, you probably should be.

Most men shouldn't be in exclusive relationships, and certainly not marriage!

Most unmarried men, if they play their cards right, can get everything they want without spending a lot of money and energy on Valentine's Day, birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries.

If there is a woman who is planning to marry you this June, or any other time this year, you probably need to put the brakes on the relationship, especially if there are any red flags. If you're shacking up and/or if she has kids, plan your escape!

You don't need to be married. And there's a good chance that, deep down, you don't really want to be.

So, get out. And learn to be scarce so that you won't get trapped into wasting money, effort, and time on things like Valentine's Day or meeting a woman's family or friends for holidays.

Be a Free Man.