Pizza Delivery Man Helps Rescue Rape Victim

Kudos to pizza delivery man Chris Turner for helping to rescue a woman who had been kidnapped and raped, and for helping to catch the alleged kidnapper/rapist.

People mentally dismiss people in jobs like his all of the time. But no matter what job a person has (or, doesn't have) they can still make a positive difference in someone else's life.

And who knows what would have happened to her if he had not helped her? She could have ended up tortured more and then murdered.

Bachelor Asks About Dating Moms

I found this installment of an advice column in the Philadelphia Daily News.

I am 35 and a lifelong bachelor.

Congrats. Although 35 is hardly "lifelong".

I'd love to get married someday and start a family.

Okay, if that's what you really want - go for it.

Am I at the age where I should consider dating women with children?

No.

Here's why. If you want to start a family, you should not butt in to an existing one. A woman with minor children should not be dating, especially to find a husband, until the kids are adults. She should be focusing on raising her kids. Plus, you should be seeking women at least a couple of years younger than you, if you really do want to start a family. Fertility and health become issues starting at 35, and you need time to get to know each other. Women 33 years old and younger should not have adult kids, so if she has kids, they are still minors.

The "best" case scenario is that the mother is a widower, and the guy died through little fault of his own. You may, if you try really hard, live up to her idealized memories of him. Still, getting involved with her will change the dynamics between her and her kids, and that could be really bad. It will get worse if you start making new babies with her. You'll never have the authority over her kids that you'd have over your own.

You'd be the third wheel.

Now if she has children and is free to marry you because the father of her children died from suicide, or reckless or otherwise self-destructive behavior, or they are divorced, or were never married... none of those things bode well.

If the father (or fathers) isn't dead, then you'll likely have to deal with him at some point, sometimes often. Do you really want that? Every time she looks at her kids, she's going to see the guy she used to have sex with. Are you ready to deal with that? Are you ready to take on the responsibility of raising someone else's kids, with one hand tied behind your back?

Save yourself a lot of trouble. Only date women without children. That's one of the basic rules for guys who want to get married and have kids. There are some others, too, such as avoiding women with serious inherited degenerative diseases, a history of criminal behavior or mental illness, a substance abuse habit, debt (beyond a mortgage and reasonable car loan)... any red flags.

"Steve" responded with:

Forget whether a gal has kids or not; focus on who she is.

Nope - sorry. It is a package deal. That's like telling a woman to forget that a guy is chronically unemployed – focus on who he is. He is chronically unemployed, that is who he is. And she is a mother.

Mike Tyson's Daughter

I don't care who you are, or what you've done, losing your child is a horrible pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I saw what it did to my grandmother, and her "child" was an adult. How much more tragic it is when the child hasn't had a chance to grow? I'm not exactly a fan of Mike Tyson, but my prayers are with him and all loved ones who are mourning.

You Should Be Saving, Not Spending More

This LiveScience.com story says that a recession may cause women to splurge on shopping like they are addicts looking for a fix.

In times of crisis, women are more likely to take a shopping spree than in normal times.

That doesn't bode well for her personal finances, or for those of the guy who is paying her bills.

A new survey finds almost half of UK women are frightened or scared by the recession, and 45 percent felt their financial situation had taken a hit. A full 75 percent said they would be making cutbacks.

Yet 79 percent of them said they would splurge to cheer themselves up.

And what about eating more bon-bons? Nothing like adding extra weight to go along with your extra debt!

Of the 700 women surveyed, 40 percent said depression was an excuse to overspend; 60 percent said "feeling a bit low" was a good enough reason.

They are wrong. Browsing is one thing. Buying is another.

"This type of spending, or compensatory consumption, serves as a way of regulating intense emotions," said Karen Pine, a University of Hertfordshire professor and author of "Sheconomics" (Headline Publishing Group, 2009).

What's wrong with sex – if you're married, or exercise or a non-destructive hobby?

The problem is likely not confined to women.

They have to throw that in to avoid charges of sexism.

A 2006 study in the United States found 6 percent of women have it so bad they are labeled compulsive buyers, but so are 5.5 percent of men.

So more than one out of every 20 people you come across is labeled a compulsive buyer. What about the people who aren't labeled "compulsive" but either are compulsive or are otherwise buying stuff they don't need or can't afford? Does anyone believe that just as many men fall into that category?

Pine says this compensatory behavior could become more pronounced in a recession. People use drugs and alcohol similarly to regulate emotions, Pine explains, but she thinks shopping is increasingly employed by women for this purpose. And, paradoxically, worrying about money could lead women to spend more, she said.

I'm sure if any single guy is reading this, he'll feel really motivated to find a woman with whom to join finances.

"Or, perhaps worse still, if they can't spend we might see an increase in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression."

Oh, great. You get to choose between dealing with more debt or more emotional difficulty.

One of the things I think a couple should do when a marriage proposal seems eminent is get full access to each other’s financial records – credit report, credit card statements, bank statements, investment accounts, etc. That will make it easier to tell if there is a spending problem, or any number of other problems. Full disclosure should be a stipulation of the pre-nup.

More Fun With Advice Columns

Time to check in on a two of my favorite advice columns. I look at some recent Dear Abby columns and a recent Dear Margo column.

GROWN-UP GIRL IN KENTUCKY wrote in to Dear Abby:

I'm a 21-year-old woman who just moved back home after two years of living and learning on my own.

That doesn't sound very grown up to me.

My family has been wonderful to accept me back into their home until I finish my studies in a few months, after which I assume I'll be getting a job and my own place.

I have an amazing boyfriend, "Jordan," with whom I would love to spend some nights. I'm afraid if I do I would be disrespecting my parents' wishes -- my father is a preacher -- but at the same time I feel restricted because I got used to being on my own and doing what I wanted.

Well, too bad. Part of the trade off of living in someone else's home is abiding by their rules. You're not being held hostage. You can leave.

Dear Abby responded:

Have your parents met Jordan? Do they like him? If they have and they do, it would make things easier on you.

Unless he is a eunuch, I don’t see how any of that matters.

You should definitely respect your father's position and sensitivities.

That's all she should have written.

A more acceptable compromise than spending "nights out" might be for you and Jordan to arrange some weekend getaways together.

Uh, no.

Of this I am certain: Young love will find a way.

Love is one thing. Lust is another. Look, I'm no prude. Well, at least not according to this definition. I know saving sex for marriage is not what most people do. But an adult should not treat her parents' place like a hotel.

COLORADO TEEN wrote:

I'm a 16-year-old guy who has hit a road bump in life. My parents divorced when I was 12 and are still fighting.

That's a lot of fun, isn’t it? Somehow, they got along well enough to make you, but then they act like this. That's quite a way to make a life for their child.

I get involved in their fights because I feel I have to, but it stresses me out.

Not good. That shouldn't be his deal. He should be focusing on his studies, his hobbies, enjoying his youth.

I live full-time with Mom because Dad and I fight too much. Mom and I are also at odds nonstop. She has had several different boyfriends since the divorce. Three of them have moved into our house.

In four years? Ugh. She needs to wait two years or one and a half or however long until you are 18. She's put you at risk, and set a horrible example.

Mom and I have different opinions about her present boyfriend, who she calls her "fiance." He's the biggest reason we fight. Mom has told me her kids come first and if I really don't like him she'll ask him to leave, but I don't want her to do it if she's truly happy with him.

No kid should be put in this position. How awful.

Dear Abby told him to get counseling.

ONLINE MOMMY IN THE NORTHWEST wrote:

A few months ago, my friend and neighbor, "Jill," told me how much she enjoyed an online mothers group she participated in, so I joined. Last week, Jill announced on the Web site that she's pregnant with her second child. I congratulated her online, then congratulated her husband in person when I ran into him in the neighborhood later that day. He was flabbergasted. Apparently, Jill hadn't told him about the baby!

Jill is now furious with me because I "spoiled her surprise" by revealing something that was supposed to be a secret.

I’m not really concerned with the relationship between the women, or what DA's response is. What concerns me more is that this is an example of a violation of intimacy between husband and wife. A woman's husband should be told these things before just about anyone else. The baby is his, too. Unless the person is completely anonymous to the rest of the group (and the world) and is fishing for cute ways to tell the spouse, this was just plain wrong.

Ladies, if you want your female friends, even the ones you've never actually met, to be that close to you... then don't bother being married. Don't say that your husband is your best friend, or you want him to be your best friend, if you are keeping secrets from him that you are telling others (except, perhaps, clergy or a shrink), or if you're badmouthing him all of the time to other women. Because, in that case, your best friend is not your husband – it is the person to whom you are telling all of his shortcomings.

Stressed Out in a Small Town wrote in to Dear Margo:

I have been divorced from my first husband, "Lionel," for 13 years. He was an abusive alcoholic who (thankfully) skipped the state eight years ago to avoid paying child support for our children, "Eloise," now 21, and "Laura," 18.

Sounds like a great guy to marry and with whom make two babies. Are you sure that's the reason he left? From what I understand, states work together on this.

At last count, Lionel owes more than $60,000 in back child support and only recently re-established contact with the girls.

From what I can tell, this is irrelevant to the letter, and she includes it merely as a dig, as if he were writing in to say, "and her ass is saggy."

Laura is graduating high school this year and asked her father to attend the ceremony. He said he couldn’t because he didn’t want to drive 500 miles over Memorial Day weekend, but that he would attend her celebration party three weeks later.

A real prize.

My current husband is furious. He's been a big part of the girls' lives for 10 years, and together we've raised two healthy, well-adjusted young ladies.

Hold it! You said your ex skipped town eight years ago. So maybe your ex figured you and the new stud had it all covered? Why hasn't your husband adopted your girls and made child support from your ex unnecessary?

He absolutely doesn't want Lionel at the party, and frankly, neither do I — he’s extremely rude, obnoxious and inappropriate even while sober.

It is at your home. Surely to could bar him if you want.

If he shows up, my husband would like to have him arrested, since he has several outstanding warrants in our state.

Are any of them not child support based?

What a mess. What guy in his right mind wants to deal with this? This guy she's now married to couldn't find someone without so much baggage? Or did he have a "rescue" complex?

Don't get me wrong – unless someone signs away their parental rights, they should support their children financially, even if they aren't going to be there physically or emotionally.

Dear Margo had a decent response.

Not Feeling It

Do you know someone who is asexual? "Internally Perplexed" wrote in toe Dear Margo:

I am a 21-year-old male who has come to terms with the fact that I am asexual. I have no interest in either sex and, for the most part, don’t mind it.

In our sex-obsessed society*, some people refuse to believe that such people exist. I'm fairly certain I know at least one.

However, my family seems to have an extremely difficult time accepting that I don't want to go out and "fool around" with women.

They're afraid you are gay. Or maybe they want grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. Or maybe it is both. Plus, people tend to think other people should have the same feelings and urges that they do.

I find it incomprehensible and unfair to go out with a woman and not be able to return her feelings for me, if such were to arise.

Good for you! Too many people don't think this way, especially if they realize they can find someone to take care of them financially if they fake it for a while.

I continue dreaming of having a family with children, but if I don't hold a desire to be with either sex, is it even possible?

Well, sure, it is possible. You can find a woman who is also "asexual" and do it just enough to conceive children. Or you can adopt together. But lovemaking is also great relationship cement, and if you aren't going to have that, you'd better have other things keeping you together and happy. Do you really want a lifelong roommate? Plus, there's the risk that one of you will change (like get a hormone surge), and the other won't, and that will really make things difficult.

Dear Margo responded:

Regarding your family, I suspect they will have a tough time comprehending your emotional makeup, it being foreign to them, so just make the statement that, so far, you've not met anyone who interests you enough to pursue.

Families not only have a tough time with a member being asexual, they also have a tough time with a member who does not want children or does not want to get married. I hope I never treat any of my family that way, because I don't think people should get married or have children unless they really, really want to and have found the right spouse and are prepared to be the right spouse/parent - AND have undergone extensive counseling.

There is the additional possibility of being a single parent.

NO!!! ARGH!!!! His desire to raise children should not trump a child's need to have both a mother and a father.

========
*If you don’t think we're sex-obsessed, where are the parallels in other aspects of life to:

Stripping?
Porn?
Sexual harassment?

I mean, we all need to eat, and many of us eat way too much, but who pays to watch a steak slowly unveiled and waved around? Why don't we have "nutritional harassment" prevention training in the workplace, even though some people are vegans, some keep kosher, etc.? Why don't we use the phrase "nutritional orientation", or have laws protecting people from discrimination based on their "nutritional orientation"? How much of our media (music, sitcoms, "reality" shows, cinema) is about sex as opposed to eating?

Pulling a Double Shift

Some eleven-month-olds are twins, but unusual. So says this story from Fox Network's Dallas station.

"I have twins, but they're by different fathers," said Mia Washington.

The twins' parents contacted FOX 4, wanting to go public with their story.

Yuck. I think that was a terrible idea.

Washington admits she had an affair that resulted in two babies, born at the same time, fathered by two different men.

Sounds like something to trumpet from the rooftops, no?

"I'm very shocked," Washington said.

Why? You did know that you had two different penises inside you, right?

The parents went to Dallas DNA Lab Clear Diagnostics after noticing the twins have different facial features.

Uh, you mean like every other fraternal twin set in world?

When twins have two fathers, doctors call it heteropaternal superfecundation.

And I call it sluttery. And that at least three people were completely ignorant of contraception.

Dreiling said the medical marvel can happen when a woman releases multiple eggs during ovulation. If she has more than one sexual partner within the same time period, sperm cells can fertilize two separate eggs.

Is there anyone who has gotten past sixth grade who didn't know that?

The twins’ father said he's forgiven his fiancé's infidelity and has vowed to stay with her and raise both boys as his own.

His fiancé. Wouldn't want to rush marriage, or anything. You weren't married, buddy, so it wasn't infidelity unless you consider all sex prior to marriage infidelity. My guess is that you don't consider all of the other sex you have had with other women before meeting Washington to be infidelity.

"I'm trying to let everybody else know: Don’t put yourself in my shoes, because it can hurt and it does hurt, but you still have to go on with life," she said.

Well I’m glad they included that. And thank you, because if it weren't for you, I would have no idea that unprotected sex with multiple men around the same time could have negative consequences.

Washington said she plans to tell the boys about their DNA differences when they’re old enough to understand.

You're not going to have much of a choice, are you, since you went public with the story? Your kids would have been better off if you hadn't gone public and they never found out they were conceived by two different guys. "Mommy had sex with two different men around the same time, and didn't bother to use protection, so you're only half siblings - one of you isn't daddy's child." Why do that?!?

As for the other father, she has no plans to tell him.

Unless you were with a lot of different guys back then, he can probably figure it out... especially since you've gone public. He probably feels like he is off the hook (though he isn't), but on the other hand, he may sue – and get – some level of custody or visitation, especially since these kids were born outside of wedlock. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Nowhere in the article does it actually say this guy, James Harrison, is the biological father of either of them. It is possible that neither of them are his by blood. And guess what? It will be possible for her to divorce him after 10 years, extract alimony from him (for life) and child support, even if neither of the kids is biologically his, and then live with some other guy – maybe even one or both of the biodads.

Hopefully, that doesn't happen. Hopefully, these kids will be raised in a stable, happy, married household feeling like they are with mom and dad, but it isn't looking so promising for that to happen.

Guys, be careful where you stick it.

Happily Ever After

Do you think this married couple and their families pictured things turning out this way when they got married? Jon Cassidy of the Orange County Register (that’s California) brings us the story, which is sure to end up on one of those basic cable shows that detail crimes, investigations, and court trials. Or maybe Lifetime will do a movie about it where the victim is portrayed as the problem – since he is male.

She wanted to leave her alcoholic husband Frank and move to Wyoming for a fresh start with her three children and her live-in lover, Mikey Shores, according to court records.

Money was all the housewife and her out-of-work lover were missing, both told police.

Maybe they'd have more money if he was working instead of committing adultery with her?

For six months, Mary Sharpski, 46, Shores, 38, and Antonio Ortega, 23, worked on a plot – prosecutors allege – that left Frank Sharpski clinging to life in an alleyway, head slashed open, fingers and nose severed. His attacker was dressed like the Grim Reaper, he told police after he pulled out of a coma.

Shores, Ortega, and Mary Sharpski were in court in Westminster [Friday] morning, where they pleaded not guilty to charges of attempted murder, conspiracy and mayhem.

If you read the article, it seems like there is a lot of evidence.

Right away, police noticed that Mary Sharpski was concerned about money. When she was interviewed in the hospital after the attack, she didn't ask once about her husband's condition; she asked if she could have his ATM card, police said.

Yeah, that’s not a good sign. You have to at least fake being upset.

Two weeks after the March 3 attack, as police were closing in, Mary went to Frank's hospital room to get him to sign over power of attorney so she could have access to his money market account. Police talked Frank out of signing.

The next day, March 17, after Frank had surgery to remove his thumb, Mary was back in the hospital, talking about bills and again asking for power of attorney, and he was ready to sign. He wanted to take care of his family, he told police.

Det. Vernon Ahlo had to tell him what police had learned: that the stranger he was letting live in his home rent-free was having an affair with his wife, that his children and neighbors all knew, and that they were planning to move away together. Shores didn't like him, the detective said, and had admitted that he thought that Frank had got what he deserved.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Frank was shocked. He knew that he drank a lot, drank to the point of passing out, and that he'd get upset when he came home to a dirty house, he told police. But he'd never suspected his wife was behind the attack.

Oh, no, of course not. A lot of people wanted to kill you and not rob you (which was another mistake of the idiot attacker... at least pretend like it was a robbery). It does sounds like he had a drinking problem, but which came first - the evil wife or the drinking problem? And the reason the house was dirty was likely because his wife was getting plowed and thus was too busy to pick up. Hey, is he sure that those kids are his?

Shores appreciated her, gave her a shoulder to cry on, went to dinner and the movies with her and the children, she said.

Well, yeah, he DOESN’T HAVE A JOB! He's got time for all of that, because your husband was out working to support your ass! And pay for his booze.

Mary Sharpski did some research, and read somewhere that FedEx - Frank Sharpski was a contracted delivery driver - would pay off on a life insurance policy if he died while at work.

If you own any of FedEx, you have to love this story.

Shortly after 5:30 a.m. on March 3, Frank Sharpski put on his FedEx uniform, walked out his front door, and walked down an alley toward his delivery van. As he reached the door, a man dressed all in black, with a trench coat and a black hood, carrying a machete, walked up and told him, "I'm going to kill you." Sharpski tried to give him his wallet and keys, but the man wasn't interested, and started to attack. He hit Sharpski with overhand blows on the head chest and hands. He cut off his nose. He cut off his fingers when Sharpski tried to defend himself.

Neighbors began to look out their windows.

When the machete slipped out of the attacker's hand, Sharpski tried to run off, but the man chased him down, and knocked him to the ground and sliced at him some more.

But, you know, the guy deserved it because he's a drunk and complained about the place being a mess and he's out working instead of being around.

The thing I have to wonder about Mikey Shores is – why does he think that this woman would be any different to him? Does he think that he has a magic penis, so that she'd never get tired of him and see greener grass in getting rid of him, like she was apparently willing to do to her husband? That she would never cheat on him? People like him really think they are special – not that there is something wrong with the person who is betraying their vows. Hey, if they somehow beat the rap and end up together and free, here's a little advice, buddy: Don’t make her the beneficiary of anything.

And this is another reminder to everyone, especially the person who is away from home more, not to let anyone move in.

Edwards on Oprah

Elizabeth Edwards (who has terminal cancer) will be on Oprah today, talking about things, including her husband's cheating. Did she choose unwisely or treat unkindly? She probably chose unwisely, and he would have ended up cheating no matter what. The guy is pretty full of himself, as many serious candidates for President are. The Playful Walrus bemoans the Oprah appearance.

Yes, Even More Dr. Laura SAHM Reaction

Time for another survey of what is being written online about Dr. Laura, in reaction to her new book and her publicizing of it.

Anne Hart disagrees with the notion, which she falsely attributes to Dr. Laura, that "ALL moms should stay home for the first five years of their children’s lives."

How can you declare unilaterally that each and every mother and child are better off at home?

She didn't. Next!

Instead, I uphold a mom's ability to choose the right work-life balance and child care arrangement for her family.

What does that mean, really? Of course they can choose – but does that make everything they choose right? What if a woman worked three jobs and was never home, and neither was dad? If that is what she chose to do, would that still be right?

Yes, Dr. Laura, some moms can be breadwinners and breadmakers. And be good at both.

Sure. But almost no women can work full-time AND be fully there as a mother AND wife. I'm willing to admit that my role as a father is not as prominent to my child as my wife's role as mother, because I am not there as much as she is. How can you do something without being there to do it???

However, oodles of work-outside-the-home moms make incredible use of the time they do have with their children, proving there is such a thing as quality over quantity.

I highly doubt this woman would accept that statement from a lover. "Hey, it was good five minutes. See you next week for our next quality time session!" Well, maybe she would if she had a really low libido and no need for foreplay or romance.

Children I know who are in day care or in the care of a nanny or baby sitter are independent, outgoing and have the advantage of seeing their mom have a rewarding professional life.

Maybe they are detached, aggressive, and do not see the point of having children you don't raise yourself?

While I'm thankful for the ability to stay-at-home with my children, there are emotional and financial frustrations that come with that decision.

Yes, and thank goodness there are none of those at the office.

Would my kids be better off if I had the fulfillment, adult interaction, alone time and paycheck that comes with a job outside the home? I don't know.

You don't interact with adults? The only place you can interact with adults is at the office?

However, not every mom has the choice to stay home.

Yes, actually, they do. Maybe not after they buy a house and car and timeshare that they can't afford and become mothers, but the choice was there.

Work-outside-the-home moms already feel guilty enough without you accusing them of parenting by proxy.

Apparently, they don't. Because they are still doing it and still saying it is the right thing to do.

Just one in five working mothers say full-time work is the ideal situation for them, Pew reports. Most want part-time work or more flexible hours.

Many want more time with their children.

And I can see where that is going... they’re going to ask Big Daddy Government to pay them so they can work only when they want to. Hey, I want more time with my kids, too. How about paying me not to work?

Why not write a book that advocates for more mom-friendly changes in the office?

I'm sure she'll get right on that right after she writes about how to find a more gentle abortionist.

Why not push for paid maternity leave; part-time jobs with insurance benefits; and a national minimum standard for paid sick days so moms can stay home with their ill kids?

You see where this is going? We're all supposed to rearrange everything because people want to "have" kids and have stuff and have a professional ego. We're all supposed to pay even more to support other people we don't even know so that they aren't "restrained" by the concepts of picking the right spouse and then making children with them, only if and when they are prepared to be a parent.

Savannah Red responded to Hart in this blog posting, which is pretty good.

"scripto" commented on that entry accusing Dr. Laura of not being their for her own son, which of course is bunk. Scripto thinks reading blogs is "research" into a famous person.

Over at Deep South Moms Blog, we get this:

I am wondering why there is no such thing as the Daddy Wars. It seems that fathers have been omitted from the equation of parenting. Dr. Laura, whom I consider to be a class A nut job anyway, seems to think dads are but a blip in our children's lives.

I guess it is impossible to praise someone these days. If you do, you must be insulting all of the people you are not praising with that moment of praise?

The media, including parenting magazines of every ilk, focus solely on women.

You're right. SAHFs get short shrift. Women make most consumer choices, so the magazines focus on them in general – but when it comes to parenting, there are many more SAHMs than SAHFs. That's a fact. And you know what? A lot of women give SAHFs short shrift, too – including some wives of SAHFs.

Is the onus of raising healthy, happy, productive, aware, confident, giving, empathetic children on mothers alone?

Nobody, save for some single-motherhood or lesbian advocates, has said it is.

Fathers are infinitely important to the fabric of a family. To ignore that fact is detrimental to our children in countless ways.

Agreed! But, the fact is, men are still expected to be breadwinners by most women, and most women choose to marry a man who earns more than they do.

Over at this blog, "Kristi" writes against Dr. Laura, defending her status as a mother working away from her kids. She, like so many others, falsely accuses Dr. Laura of being hypocritical for working and having a son (I should number these memes and simply refer to them by those numbers).

Then she looks down on Dr. Laura being happy that nannies are out of work as people save money in the face of layoffs by raising their own kids, citing the lack of work for the nanny. Would Kristi be upset if oncologists were losing their jobs because breast cancer rates plummeted?

The implication that a mother who works outside the home is not a full-time mom, is no more present in her child's life than the UPS man, and is being selfish by working either a.) because she has to in order to make ends meet, or b.) because she loves her career and finds it fulfilling, is nauseating to me.

Okay, well you try telling your boss that you are working full time, and give your boss the same waking hours most women working away from their kids give their kids (or their husbands!), and see if your boss agrees that you are working "full time".

Do we really need another book that pits mothers against each other? I think not.

The book is simply in praise of SAHMs. How does that pit mothers against each other? Don't confuse a publicity interview with a book.

Over at "Hip Moms Who Work", "Where cool working moms come together", "Andrea", who admits not having checked out the book, again notes that Dr. Laura worked while having a young son.

She also claims she has respect for SAHMs. My question is... why? If children do not need their mothers (or, as I have said, their fathers if their mother is the breadwinner) with them and are just as well off with others, then aren't SAHMs slackers, who should be contributing income to the home and contributing to the workforce?

It seems to me this position is inconsistent. I do respect SAHMs because they are doing what is best for their children. That is not inconsistent.

Over at Deep South Moms Blog, again, we get this:

However, when my son was born, I had a really amazing job. I was paid well and the job was providing security for our future. To leave that job would have been financial suicide so my husband and I made a decision. One of us needed to stay home and the most logical choice at that point was him.

If you had ever bothered to listen to Dr. Laura, you'd know she supports that, too, as long as the wife can still respect her husband. Some women don't.

Instead, she pulls a quote from a WSJ interview.

WSJ: Where do stay-at-home dads fit into the picture?

Dr. Schlessinger: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom -- unless she's incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

Women and men are different, and those differences more often make mothers the better choice than fathers to stay with the kids. But yes, there are exceptions. If the woman is in a position that provides better security, enough to outweigh the difference between men and women, then sure. Especially if the husband's personality is good for this role. But in general, mothers are better equipped than fathers for this role.

The bottom line to me is this, we are all in this together...this bringing up of the next generation and we all need to support each others choices.

Nope. There are choices I make you wouldn't support. Let's not pretend otherwse for the sake of comfort.

A lot of these bloggers note that Dr. Laura has a high income, and had flexible work hours, and that isn't how it is for everyone. As if Dr. Laura got to that point by pure luck, through no choices of her own. Some also will put "Dr." in quotes, which makes me wonder if they do that with other Ph.Ds? She's not calling herself "Laura, M.D.", you bitter shrews and scummy guys.

And as if this installment wasn't long enough, I note that over at "Randomness from the Right Side of the Bed", calling itself "ramblings from a working mom of 2-year-old baby boy godzilla, 1-year-old princess, and the newborn diva born August 2008 - swimming through the depths of sleep deprivation, stress, and dealing with a demanding Daddy", someone known as "darkfairymomma" bitches about Dr. Laura, but doesn't say why Dr. Laura is wrong.

I wonder what qualifies as a "demanding Daddy"? A husband who wants sex?

There are positive reactions out there, too, thankfully. Click on the Dr. Laura tag below to read more posts like this one, and to see that I don’t always agree with Dr. Laura, though I usually do.

I’ve Never Had a Nightmare As Bad

...as one day in this girl's life.

Stories like this one are all too common, and unfortunately, only one time is too many. In this article by Rachanee Srisavasdi (try saying that one five times fast) and Larry Welborn in the Orange County Register, we read about one Rodrigo Soto of La Habra, California, who has been found guilty (second-degree murder) of beating his 4-year-old stepdaughter to death.

Now, there are decent, upstanding men out there who become stepfathers and love those kids and are great fathers. However, statistics indicate that a child is more likely to be abused or killed if they are exposed to a stepfather or mother's boyfriend (especially shack-up). This is one reason why child-priority people like Dr. Laura advise against unmarried parents dating until their children are grown.

Rodrigo Soto, 26, faces 25 years to life in prison for the Oct. 19, 2005, death of Madison Haley Greenlee when he is sentenced by Orange County Superior Court Judge Carla Singer on July 31. He also was convicted of felony child assault.

The "mother" - Kiera Risch - was apparently not home when the murder took place.

She had between 75 and 100 injuries to her body – inflicted in the days and weeks before her death, according to testimony.

I don't see how anyone can read things like this and deny the fact that evil is real. That little girl was tortured. We don't treat terrorists in our custody like that – she probably would have preferred to be waterboarded.

The guy committed evil. And the "mother" either directly abused her child herself or turned a blind eye to the abuse inflicted by the guy – meaning that she committed evil herself. Unnamed is the guy who knocked up Risch and left his daughter in her care, although he may have had little choice in the matter after her conception – but shame on him at least for knocking up a woman like that. More shame to him if he could have saved this girl, but abandoned her instead.

When you choose to make a child, you are entering into a partnership with God. When you abuse that child, you are not only attacking the child, you are spitting in the face of God. And you'd better get on your knees, repent, and beg for mercy.