Another calendar year is winding down to a close. Have you made
resolutions for 2018? Resolutions can be made at any time. You don't
need to wait for an arbitrary calendar date. I read somewhere that if
you can keep a new habit for 21 days, you're likely to keep it going.
It can also be helpful to make incremental changes. For example, if you
want to walk more, don't think you need to start walking a certain long
distance every day. Start with something and then add to it a little at a time.
But this entry is not about resolutions.
It is simply taking a moment to think about the year ending and think about the year ahead.
New
Years Eve and New Years Day have become popular proposal days, and
there are people who pick December 31 as their day to get married.
Guys, DO NOT fall into that trap!
As for me, I have kept active on Twitter
and I plan to keep active on this blog, because I find it therapeutic
and if I can help just one man have a better life, and to be better, than it will be worth it (in addition to how it helps me).
There
were some big things that happened this year. My wife's sibling and
in-law, who'd been living with us rent-free for almost two years, were
kicked out by my wife because my wife didn't think they were helping out
enough and didn't like their attitudes. We had to hospitalize one of our kids
in a psych ward (they were only there temporarily, but long enough) and
we're still dealing with finding the best therapy. There was at least
one other big change on which I might elaborate later.
I'm not
planning big changes for 2018. I plan to keep working and I plan to keep
trying to keep my wife from going off the rails again and keep tending
to my kids. Save for a concert I have tickets to already, I have nothing
planned for me that will be fun. I'll be happy if life doesn't get much worse.
A few notes about media from this past year. Hugh Hefner died,
as I predicted he would (two other people I predicted would die in 2017
haven't - yet). Some people tried to tie Hefner in to all of the men
doing everything from sending unsolicited crotch shots
to sexual harassment to rape in the entertainment industry. At the
other end of the spectrum, the head of a Protestant ministry, the
Christian Research Institute, left Protestantism for Eastern Orthodoxy
while staying put at the ministry, which I consider to be a bad move on
his part (not necessarily joining the EOC, but keeping his position in a
Protestant ministry). Then there was Tom Leykis continuing to pass
along his astute observations on the unfolding demise of the corporate
terrestrial radio industry while threatening to end his own Internet-based show unless he got enough subscribers by the end of the year.
Do you have observations for 2017? Plans or predictions for 2018? I always welcome comments. I hope you have a great 2018.
A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Thursday, December 21, 2017
How Things Go in Marriage
At least mine, anyway, and probably a lot of other husbands.
Scenario 1:
Wife: I'd like you to make more of the decisions.
Me: [consults with my wife, makes a decision]
Wife: You don't listen to me!
Me: I did listen to you. We didn't agree. I made the decision.
Scenario 2:
Wife: I want to do X, Y, and Z.
Me: Let's think about this for a bit.
Wife: I REALLY WANT TO DO X, Y, and Z NOW!
Me: What if M, N, and O happen as a result? I don't want to deal with that. That wouldn't be good.
Wife: You're so negative! Why do you have to crap on everything I want to do?!? This is the best thing to do!
Wife: [Does X, Y, and Z.]
M,N, and O are the result.
Wife: I didn't know it was going to be like this! This bums me out so much. I wish we'd never done X, Y, and Z. HELP ME!!!
REPEAT with different things in the X, Y, and Z spots.
If you want to share scenarios, please comment with yours.
Scenario 1:
Wife: I'd like you to make more of the decisions.
Me: [consults with my wife, makes a decision]
Wife: You don't listen to me!
Me: I did listen to you. We didn't agree. I made the decision.
Scenario 2:
Wife: I want to do X, Y, and Z.
Me: Let's think about this for a bit.
Wife: I REALLY WANT TO DO X, Y, and Z NOW!
Me: What if M, N, and O happen as a result? I don't want to deal with that. That wouldn't be good.
Wife: You're so negative! Why do you have to crap on everything I want to do?!? This is the best thing to do!
Wife: [Does X, Y, and Z.]
M,N, and O are the result.
Wife: I didn't know it was going to be like this! This bums me out so much. I wish we'd never done X, Y, and Z. HELP ME!!!
REPEAT with different things in the X, Y, and Z spots.
If you want to share scenarios, please comment with yours.
Monday, December 18, 2017
What Women Like
Today's example of what women like - like so much they will have intercourse with such men, apparently without effective contraception - comes from a recent Dear Abby column:
I have a 14-year-old daughter I have raised alone. Her father has never been in her life, nor has he been in the lives of his other children with other women. He has a long history of criminal behavior and mental illness.Note that the guy being described has obviously had sex with many women, women who don't use contraception effectively.
Will There Be a Tom Leykis Cliffhanger? - UPDATED
As has happened in some years past, at least as recently as 2014, Tom Leykis,
who evaluates his business goals on a calendar year basis, is warning
his listeners that his live audio call-in show will end at the turn of
the year unless the finances are favorable. Extremely transparent in
comparison to so many other entertainers, he's insisting that unless he
has 1,900 subscribers
by the end of the year (and it is important to note the shows at the
end of the year will be repeats due to the holidays), this version of
his show, which started in early 2012,
will end, with a final live show in early January to say goodbye. And
as Leykis says, his word is his bond. As of this writing, he has nearly
1,800 subscribers. Unless the pace of subscriptions and renewals picks
up, his live shows this year will end without it being clear if the goal
will be met.
If you're not familiar with Leykis' business, you should be. And you should care what happens with it.
If you're not familiar with Leykis' business, you should be. And you should care what happens with it.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Go Watch Your Musicals, Ladies
UPDATE: I'm bumping this up on June 15, 2012 because today Dr. Laura covered this topic again and asked for comments on Facebook (even though grown men are not supposed to use Facebook, right?) about how playing video games is turning men into pathetic worms. Or something like that. I haven't listened to her commentary on today's show yet. I'll likely have more to say about this soon, based on the comments left on Facebook. -K
UPDATE AGAIN 12/14/2017: Bumping this up again because she again told a caller to toss out her 16 year-old son's video game system (and remove the network entirely from his life). You know what guys that age are likely to do if you do that, given their newfound free time? Knock up girlfriends.
Dr. Laura is back from vacation and the first segment of today's show already got me going. If you click on my Dr. Laura tag you'll see that there's a lot I like about her and her show and I think she does a lot of good. But one of the areas in which I think she's off the mark is "video games". I've written about this before.
I think it was her second call of the day... a wife had called, dragging her husband along, telling Dr. Laura that they have disagreed since they got married (about a year and half ago, if I recall correctly) about the husband playing video games. Dr. Laura did NOT ask the wife if she knew about the guy's game playing when she married him.
Instead, she insisted that the guy needed to choose between the video games and his wife. She repeatedly said that he looks like a "boy", and "adolescent". She would not listen to anything he had to say, nor when his wife tried to interject something. She called it "childish", a "turn-off" and said it didn’t matter what his accomplishments were, that he needed to give up the games.
From there, she went to break and when she came back, she emphasized her point again. Finally, just before she took another call, she threw in a mention that women should not overlook it before marriage and then turn around and make an issue of it once married. (My guess is that she'd advise women not to marry these guys.) I wish she would have drilled the wife on that one. I think it is a rotten thing to do to marry someone and then make an issue out of your spouse's recreational activity.
As I wrote before, I don't play video games. I don't even play those games on social networking sites, or solitaire, or any of the other games found in desktop and handheld computers. But I still fail to see what the big deal is about this. Some people like watching movies. Some people like watching TV shows, including sports. Some people like playing video games. I fail to see why one is worse than the others. I get that Dr. Laura is not into them, but she's wrong on this one.
There are a lot of things, I’m sure, that the husband could cite about his wife's behavior that guys would find a turn-off, even though he married her knowing about them. Dr. Laura had kicked off the show talking about how she had taken time off to go sailing and how much fun it was. There are people who would find that to be silly or childish. But so what? They don't have to go sailing. And Dr. Laura doesn't need to play games, and neither does this guy's wife.
At least people are able to play video games together, and he's right there in the home so that his wife can approach him if she wants to. I hope that guy rewards his wife for dragging him into that trap by picking up a solitary hobby that takes him out of the house or into the garage and away from his wife… so that she begs him to go back to playing video games.
I personally know two grown men who are game designers, and they are mature and make a good living. It's honest work. And they target their games to adults - not with "adult" content, mind you, but they do not talk down to children. I hadn't even thought about them, though, when I started writing this. I was simply thinking about players.
Don't like your husband playing games? Go watch a musical, or scrapbook, or whatever.
UPDATE AGAIN 12/14/2017: Bumping this up again because she again told a caller to toss out her 16 year-old son's video game system (and remove the network entirely from his life). You know what guys that age are likely to do if you do that, given their newfound free time? Knock up girlfriends.
Dr. Laura is back from vacation and the first segment of today's show already got me going. If you click on my Dr. Laura tag you'll see that there's a lot I like about her and her show and I think she does a lot of good. But one of the areas in which I think she's off the mark is "video games". I've written about this before.
I think it was her second call of the day... a wife had called, dragging her husband along, telling Dr. Laura that they have disagreed since they got married (about a year and half ago, if I recall correctly) about the husband playing video games. Dr. Laura did NOT ask the wife if she knew about the guy's game playing when she married him.
Instead, she insisted that the guy needed to choose between the video games and his wife. She repeatedly said that he looks like a "boy", and "adolescent". She would not listen to anything he had to say, nor when his wife tried to interject something. She called it "childish", a "turn-off" and said it didn’t matter what his accomplishments were, that he needed to give up the games.
From there, she went to break and when she came back, she emphasized her point again. Finally, just before she took another call, she threw in a mention that women should not overlook it before marriage and then turn around and make an issue of it once married. (My guess is that she'd advise women not to marry these guys.) I wish she would have drilled the wife on that one. I think it is a rotten thing to do to marry someone and then make an issue out of your spouse's recreational activity.
As I wrote before, I don't play video games. I don't even play those games on social networking sites, or solitaire, or any of the other games found in desktop and handheld computers. But I still fail to see what the big deal is about this. Some people like watching movies. Some people like watching TV shows, including sports. Some people like playing video games. I fail to see why one is worse than the others. I get that Dr. Laura is not into them, but she's wrong on this one.
There are a lot of things, I’m sure, that the husband could cite about his wife's behavior that guys would find a turn-off, even though he married her knowing about them. Dr. Laura had kicked off the show talking about how she had taken time off to go sailing and how much fun it was. There are people who would find that to be silly or childish. But so what? They don't have to go sailing. And Dr. Laura doesn't need to play games, and neither does this guy's wife.
At least people are able to play video games together, and he's right there in the home so that his wife can approach him if she wants to. I hope that guy rewards his wife for dragging him into that trap by picking up a solitary hobby that takes him out of the house or into the garage and away from his wife… so that she begs him to go back to playing video games.
I personally know two grown men who are game designers, and they are mature and make a good living. It's honest work. And they target their games to adults - not with "adult" content, mind you, but they do not talk down to children. I hadn't even thought about them, though, when I started writing this. I was simply thinking about players.
Don't like your husband playing games? Go watch a musical, or scrapbook, or whatever.
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