Anyone can benefit from doing this, but this is especially for anyone who is one or more of the following:
- Young
- Considering further education or declaring a major
- Looking for a job or to change jobs
- Looking or a new place to live
- Getting out of a marriage or relationship or considering it
- Feeling like you're in a rut or making no progress in your life
- Facing or considering retirement
Believe it or not, your time is limited. To figure out what you should be doing, you really need to understand yourself well. Know thyself.
You're going to need some peace and quiet to do this. No distractions. You'll need time to think, to ponder, to reflect. You'll need to be alone. No spouse, no girlfriend, no friends - alone. No movies, no television, no social media, no books, etc. You want to be alone with your thoughts.
You're going to need some peace and quiet to do this. No distractions. You'll need time to think, to ponder, to reflect. You'll need to be alone. No spouse, no girlfriend, no friends - alone. No movies, no television, no social media, no books, etc. You want to be alone with your thoughts.
You might need to get a hotel room or motel room. You can only do this at home if you're really, really disciplined in being able to ignore and avoid distractions, and nobody will reach you.
Take food and drinks, have food and drinks delivered, or be willing to go get food and drinks alone, but the ideal is to spend as much time in isolation - with yourself - as possible.
You'll need pens and/or pencils and pads of paper, either 8.5 x 11" or larger. A blank sketch book can also work. You want to be able to write on paper, whether lined or blank.
You need to be sober. So, no booze, or recreational drugs, and DO take any prescribed psychotropic meds you need in order to think clearly.
Settle in, and relax.
Fill up those pages.
What you'll do is ask yourself questions and answer them, with a paragraph for an answer at least, and make lists. For some, you might do a list first, then do a paragraph. It's OK for there to be redundancies.
These are going to be about YOU. Not about other people, not about what other people want, not about what other people want from you. Don't even let what you've told yourself or others about what you like or want or plan to do have control over you. People grow and change, and make discoveries about themselves. Just because you wanted something five or ten years ago, or since you were a little kid, doesn't mean you have to still want that.
You need to be brutally honest. Don't be humble or modest, yet don't puff yourself up or try to "market" yourself; just be honest. Be real.
Here are some questions you should consider answering:
"Who am I?"
"What is my purpose in life?"
"Where or in what do I find meaning?"
"What do I want out of life?"
"What is my dream?"
"What are my strengths?"
"What are my weaknesses?"
What do people like about me?
What do people dislike about me?
What is going well in my life?
What needs to be improved or changed or removed from my life?
Who are my best friends? What makes them my best friends? How can I foster those relationships?
Who are the negative influences in my life? What can I do to reduce their influence in my life?
When did/do I feel most content? Satisfied? Accomplished? Appreciated? Secure? Relaxed?
Who do I appreciate? For what am I grateful?
What have I earned?
What do I owe and to whom?
What do I find interesting?
What bores me?
(These next ones are especially for someone who is looking for a job or considering a job change.)
What are my skills?
What are my talents?
In what do I have experience?
What do I know a lot about that most people don't?
What do I like to do?*
What do I do well?*
What will people pay me money to do?*
(*If there is something that is on all three of those lists, that's ideal for a job.)
(*If there is something that is on all three of those lists, that's ideal for a job.)
What do I want to add to my life?
What do I want to remove from my life?
What are my priorities?
What do I value?
What do I need to accept about myself?
What should I change about myself? What can I change about myself? What will I change about myself?
What are my priorities?
What do I value?
What do I need to accept about myself?
What should I change about myself? What can I change about myself? What will I change about myself?
What are my goals?
How do I want my life to be different in five years?
When and how do I use time most effectively?
How and when do I waste time? (relaxation isn't wasting time unless it is excessive)
To what do I need to say yes?
How do I want my life to be different in five years?
When and how do I use time most effectively?
How and when do I waste time? (relaxation isn't wasting time unless it is excessive)
To what do I need to say yes?
To what do I need to say no?
What are projects or changes I want to take on soon?
You can add questions or other lists you think are important, or skip over questions that are irrelevant to your life.
These things aren't set in stone. Things can change. It can be good to set up another weekend like this after a short while or a long while.
From such a weekend, you might get an idea of the actions you need to take, which might involve changes large and small, developing new habits, and creating systems that will keep you on a positive path. Small changes can add up. It's that cliche that you can eat an elephant if you take it one bite at a time, and keep at it.
It's a lie that you can do or be anything. You can't. Also, nobody is born equal in terms of abilities, privileges, etc. Some of us have some things going for us that other people don't. Some of us have challenges that other people don't. Being honest about yourself, neither unduly limiting yourself nor being unrealistically ambitious in areas in which you shouldn't. Work with what you have. Develop or obtain what you can that will help the most. Remove what is bad.
Knowing yourself will help you be your best. It will help you make choices and focus.
Take control over your life. Don't let it just wash over you, having other people decide what your life will be.
What are projects or changes I want to take on soon?
You can add questions or other lists you think are important, or skip over questions that are irrelevant to your life.
These things aren't set in stone. Things can change. It can be good to set up another weekend like this after a short while or a long while.
From such a weekend, you might get an idea of the actions you need to take, which might involve changes large and small, developing new habits, and creating systems that will keep you on a positive path. Small changes can add up. It's that cliche that you can eat an elephant if you take it one bite at a time, and keep at it.
It's a lie that you can do or be anything. You can't. Also, nobody is born equal in terms of abilities, privileges, etc. Some of us have some things going for us that other people don't. Some of us have challenges that other people don't. Being honest about yourself, neither unduly limiting yourself nor being unrealistically ambitious in areas in which you shouldn't. Work with what you have. Develop or obtain what you can that will help the most. Remove what is bad.
Knowing yourself will help you be your best. It will help you make choices and focus.
Take control over your life. Don't let it just wash over you, having other people decide what your life will be.
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