"Salary" For Stay-At-Home Mothers?

You may have seen this recent news: “Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year”.

If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.
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The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

As much as I encourage stay-at-home motherhood, this study is a crock.

Why don't we see similar studies for men? Let's say a married father has an office job that he commutes to by driving. In addition to his paid career, he should be compensated for the following jobs:

Driver - He drives himself to work.
Delivery Service - He picks things up and brings them home.
Chauffer - He drives the wife and/or the kids places.
Babysitter - Whenever he watches the kids.
Coach - Whenever he plays sports with the kids, or advises them on playing.
Doorman - He opens doors for the wife and kids.
Valet - Opening the car doors for the wife and kids, parking/getting the car.
Gas Station Attendant - He fuels up the car.
Bellhop - Carrying luggage.
Counselor - Listening to the problems and feelings of his wife and kids.
Personal Bodyguard - Protecting the wife and kids.
Private Investigator - Checking things out at the request of the wife, checking up on the kids.
Pet Handler/Vet - Walking the dog, etc.
Exterminator - Killing and/or removing vermin, spiders, and various insects.
Furniture Mover - You wanted to move the sofa again?
Sanitation Engineer - Takes out the trash.
Dishwashing Machine Operator - If he ever washes the dishes.
Childcare Provider - If he ever feeds, clothes, or changes the diapers of the kids.
Plumber - If he ever fixes or replaces any of the plumbing fixtures in the house.
Laborer - Doing things that do not fall under the other categories.
Gardener - Mowing the lawn, trimming plants, weeding.
Personal Assistant - For the rest of the stuff that doesn't fall under laborer.
Professional Shopper - When he has to go buy stuff for the wife and/or kids.
Escort - You think he really wants to go see that play with you?
Chef/Cook - If he ever cooks.
Bartender - If he ever pours you, your family, or your friends a drink.
Priest - If he ever takes confession from you, is asked to grant absolution or forgiveness, or pray.
Mechanic - Any work he does on the car.
Handyman - Those little repair jobs around the place.
Comedy Writer - When he has to cheer you up and make you laugh because you're depressed yet again.
Accountant - Straightening out the finances.
Financial Advisor - Making investments, and telling you "That's too expensive."
Personal Trainer - "Looks like you need to start working out again, honey."
Wardrobe Consultant - "Yes, that does make you look fat. Why do you ask?"
Computer Operator
Masseuse
Actor - "Yes, I'd love for your mother to stay with us for two weeks."
Lender - "You want how much?"
Dietician - "Honey, don't you think you've eaten enough of those?"
Dancer - Do you really think he wants to dance?

I mean, come on. Stay-at-home mothers have all of these services and things paid for by their husband:

Housing
Utilities/Garbage Disposal/Cable/Phone
Nails/Hair/Beauty Salons, Spa visits
Wardrobe
Gifts
Eating Out, Starbucks
Vehicle
Vehicle Maintenance
Gasoline
Insurance
Furniture
Health Care/Benefits
Appliances
Groceries

And since women have longer life expectancies and tend to marry an older man, she's likely going to be living off of his earnings after he is dead.

Another problem with the study is that although stay-at-home mothers do have a very full and busy lives, they are not doing all of those activities for all of those hours.

Still, in the real world of compensation, you are only worth what you demand. Most stay-at-home-mothers have gladly agreed to provide these services in exchange for being able to stay home and live the lifestyles they do.

Finally, in a community property state, she’s getting at least that much if she is married to a guy who is earning $276,190 per year. So, is this study implying that a man who earns more than that is getting overcharged by his stay-at-home wife? How well with this study do in court if a man who earned, say, $500,000 per year tried to convince a judge that the wife he is divorcing should only be compensated for no more than $138,095 per year?

We should not minimize the importance of stay-at-home-mothers, but nor should we ignore the contributions of sole-provider husbands.

Don't forget - Mothers Day is almost here!

Dear Abby Assumes Almost All Women are Sluts

Let’s check in on Dear Abby, shall we?

Couple’s Views on Sex Don’t Bode Well For Their Future
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DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old woman and have been dating a 26-year-old man I'll call "Chris" for four months. We have become good friends. On our last date, the topic of sex came up, and Chris told me that he was a virgin and
that it was very important for him to find a girl who had "never been with anyone"
either.

Well, Abby, that bridge was burned when I was a teenager.

That’s when you say “Goodbye.” But noooooo… you had to hope he would change his mind.

I was honest with Chris about it, which was not easy because I now regret some of the poor choices I made at that time of my life. I am a completely different person now due to a religious conversion and am waiting until I am married to have sex again.

I told Chris this, and asked if he wanted to continue the relationship.

He had already given you an answer. You just didn’t want to hear it.

His answer was he'd "have to think about it." We are still friends. He says he likes me and still wants us to date.

Do you really want a man who “changes” his convictions so easily? I can guarantee you this will be an issue down the road.

However, although I care deeply for him, I now feel devalued.

So you are upset because your ego was brought down to reality?

I'm afraid this issue is going to cause problems in the future.

It will. It will. It will. Go find someone who is compatible with you.

I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body. If I had known that virginity was so important to Chris, I would never have dated him in the first place.

Well you know now. Time to move on. Really, are you so repulsive that you can’t find anyone else?

I can't change the past, and I have strong opinions about men who sing "Amazing Grace" in church while insisting on marrying virgins.

That, along with your statement about “more of the heart than the body” is ridiculous. What if a man had a past filled with substance abuse? What if a man had a history of molesting children? What if he had a history of cheating on his girlfriends? What if he had a history of beating his girlfriends? What if he had a bunch of kids running around out there with psycho ex-girlfriends…but his “heart” was “pure”? Would you still marry him? Give me a break. He said he wants to marry a virgin. There’s nothing hypocritical in a Christian believing in grace and still wanting to marry a virgin.

Marriage is a choice, not a necessity, not an obligation. He doesn’t have to marry you. He can hold out for a woman with a certain hair color, a certain weight, a certain body type, a certain height, and a certain sexual history. Same goes for you!

Okay, well let’s see how “Abby” handled this one.

DEAR "DEE": Cross Chris off your list as husband material.

Right! That’s all you need to say.

Your friend may be self-conscious about his lack of experience or his old-fashioned values. It's the old double standard, and even some men who have sown acres of wild oats feel this way.

While most men today have more sophisticated thinking about sex, the one you are dating has his heart set on a "sweet old-fashioned girl."

“Sophisticated”? Is that the euphemism for it now?

If that's what he wants, it's his privilege -- provided he can find one.

He can find one if he tries. Some women save sex for marriage. The trick is finding a woman who was able to do it despite her libido and attractiveness.