He's Doing It Right

Many of the people commenting on this letter to Dear Abby from ALMOST DONE IN NEW YORK think the letter writer is seeing a married man, but it reads to me like he's a pretty good Leykis 101 student or a Free Man.

I have been on and off with a man for two years.

He's been getting sex when he wants it with her for two years. But the relationship isn't "going" anywhere.

In all this time, he has never spent a holiday or Valentine's Day with me, or introduced me to his family or friends.

Perfect! He's not wasting money and effort, nor giving her real insight into his life, nor giving her the impression that he's going to marry her.

He told me to stay in the bathroom at his office when his friends showed up unexpectedly. When I objected, he said, "It's only for 20 minutes." I was horrified.

If that really was his office, it's the one mistake I've detected in this letter. But either way, keeping her from his associated and deflating her are Leykis 101 moves.

He accuses me of picking fights and says I will never be happy with anyone when I try to talk with him about it.

Yup. Keeping her from being complacent or for thinking she can do better than him.

Problems With Statistics in Selling Marriage to Men

Statistics are about a population, not individuals. What happens in your life either will happen or it won't (usually depending on your choices) - so it is either 0% or 100% for you. Statistics can tell you the odds, all things being equal, but things aren't equal. Let's take college graduates, for example. The average person with a Bachelor's degree is going to earn more than the average person without a college education. Yet some of the people with the highest incomes or the most wealth never graduated from college. This includes tech leaders, professional athletes, entertainers and authors, and various businesspeople. [Please note that this entry was posted several years ago. It still holds up pretty well.]

Statistics usually can't tell you why something is the way it is. For example, statistics will tell you that if you compare 200 people in a hospital and 200 people in an apartment complex across the street, you'll see that you're far more likely to die in the hospital than in the apartment complex. What are we to think as a result? That hospitals are harmful to our health? Or that people who are seriously sick and injured go to a hospital, where some of them are going to die, but more of them would die if they hadn't gone to the hospital?

Talk show host Tom Leykis, like a lot of other people, will tell you that half of all marriages end in divorce, and that more adults are unmarried now than married, as if this is some profound shift in how people look at life. However, most of the shift in married vs. unmarried involves people getting married later in life, such as their late 20s or early 30s instead of their early 20s. Although there is a growing percentage of men swearing off marriage, it is still a small group and most people will get married at some time in their lives. As far as divorce, Leykis has had four divorces. I've had none. If you average us together, that means the average person has two divorces. That's a little misleading. First marriages have about a 40% divorce rate, which is still way too high, but it isn't 50%. It is the high divorce rate for second, third, etc. marriages that skew the statistics. (On the other hand, perhaps even MORE marriages would end in divorce if it were for fatal illness and injuries, murders and suicides ending someone's life before they could divorce – so just because a marriage didn't end in divorce does not mean it was a good marriage.) 40% is the rate for all first marriages. I wonder what the divorce rate is for people who marry into a first marriage: 1) without children from other lovers or a current pregnancy influencing their decision; 2) after about 18-24 months of being a couple (but not too much longer than that); 3) without having shacked up OR being "long distance"; 4) after six months of intense premarital counseling with a LMFT; 5) with the same or compatible religious beliefs or practices and plans for children; 6) with no credit card debt; 7) without substance abuse problems. My guess is that divorce rate for such marriages is very low.

Conversely...

Tom Leykis Has Transitioned

No, not like that.

As he announced he would a month ago, he has ended his live call-in audio show. He last had a regular radio show in 2009, started up this Internet-based call-in audio show in 2012 after his contact with the radio company (and the accompanying paychecks) ended. While that show was placed into subscription podcast format after in ran live on the stream (on which it would be repeated) for free, now Leykis is specifically doing a podcast for paid subscribers, who can also access the content from 2012 onward.

This means he's no longer doing a live, appointment show. It gives him far more flexibility, while trading away caller participation.

While the call-in show generated enough revenue through subscriptions, advertisements, and other ways to more than cover costs (sans a healthy paycheck for Leykis), it is possible he'll make more money from his new podcast format.

How so, given that he won't have as large of an audience for advertisers to reach?

Not Booked

Someone commenting here reminded me of something I was thinking about the other day.

Wasn't Tom Leykis' book supposed to be released this month? It was going to be about Leykis 101, which essentially teaches men how to get more sex for less money.

It's placeholder has disappeared from Amazon.

I haven't heard the book mentioned on the show lately.

Tom's live, free, call-in show is about to end, but he does plan to start podcasting for paid subscribers.

At this point, it wouldn't be all that difficult for an avid listener to publish a well-organized and annotated book with the exact same information, while avoiding using the name "Leykis" or some of Tom's favorite phrases and personal stories. Granted, that listener wouldn't have Leykis' name recognition or media connection for ready publicity. Tom would probably argue that multiple people have already tried.

It did seem strange that the placeholder listed that the book would be released the same month Tom was ending the current version of his show.

The book could still be used to promote the subscriber podcast and archives, and perhaps Tom is revising the text to do exactly that. Heck, he could string together segments from his archives to compile an audiobook.

Tom's Final Month of Doing a Live Show

At least for now.

Tom Leykis announced on today's show that his last live audio show will be Thursday, October 25, 2018. He has been saying all year that this day was coming.

What he plans to do is keep his library of shows available for paid subscribers only and to do some new content via podcasts, starting October 29, only for paid subscribers.

He mentioned that he's had to cancel (or postpone) two of his dinner events due to a "minor medical issue" and his dinners were what was keeping the business profitable this year. (Haven't heard him mention the 1,900 subscriber mark lately.) He doesn't want to operate in the red, and doing the live show costs approximately half of a million dollars per year, so he's ending the live show. A podcast should cost less to produce, but he insists it will still have a high cost compared to many other podcasts because he wants the quality to be high.

So, with six straight years of profitably, he's calling it a day and making a change.

Of course, there is always the possibility that some company will offer to pay him enough that he'll take them up on the offer. SiriusXM had enough money to buy Pandora, or so it seems. I can't see him doing that unless the deal is very lucrative and/or he is given nearly total control over the show.

As of this writing, his book is still listed on Amazon as being released October 15, which is about three weeks away, even though there is no cover art and minimal information shown.

Where's the Book?

As I wrote tangentially in a long entry about the Tom Leykis Show, the lack of mention of his book on his show indicated to me that the project is in limbo or even scrapped, even though a couple of years ago it sounded like it would be for sale within a few months.

This week, a caller mentioned the book but Leykis didn't address that part of the caller's comment at all.

A search on Amazon comes up with this, which is placeholder. It gives a price, a description (apparently boilerplated from existing Leykis media), and a release date (when I checked) of October 15, 2018. That's a Monday. Books are released on Tuesdays. If the placeholder was put there by a fan, it means absolutely nothing. Do we have any reason it was put there by Leykis or a publisher?

I'm curious because, if done right, the book, which would focus on the core of "Leykis 101" which is about "how to get more tail for less money" can be informative, persuasive, entertaining, and provocative. While I do not advocate fornication, other parts of Leykis' "course" are broadly applicable and I support them, such as spending as little money on women as possible, avoiding marriage and exclusive relationships, not tolerating troublesome women, and generally preventing women from exerting control over or negatively influencing your life.

I can't help but think of what the book should be like. Each tenet of L101 could have its own chapter, explaining what to do, why it works, and providing examples from Leykis' life, the lives of his callers, and the news. I could even see Leykis promoting the book  and answering questions like, "Aren't you afraid this will allow women to figure out your tactics?" with "The women my readers wan't don't read books."

Anyway, with how transparent Leykis has been about everything else, his silence on the book, along with the delay, indicates that something has gone wrong and I would not count on a book being release in mid-October.

UPDATE: On his Tuesday, March 20, 2018 show, a caller asked about the book during unscreened calls, and Leykis  said it is in the editing process. So that's good news.

Tom Leykis is on Farewell Tour

Although Tom Leykis insists his decision to end his show came early this year, after he got sick and some fans got snarky, he also insists that was very low on list of reasons and keeps saying his fans "tested" him by dragging their feet on (re)subscribing in 2017. They did reach 1,900 subscriptions like he demanded in order to return in 2018, but apparently it wasn't fast enough for him, despite it being before his deadline. So he's "back for 2018" but only as long as the show is generating enough revenue to break even or better. He'll no longer beg for subscriptions (which is entirely understandable given how much time and effort it took last year), other than mentioning that the show will end its run when the subscriptions fall to a level that won't cover expenses. He's also said the library of past shows will be available to subscribers after the end of the show's run as long as subscriptions cover those expenses.

He's admitted he thought he could be dying when he was sick. I think that has more to do with his decision to end the show than he's indicated. He knows he's got less life to live than he's already lived, at least chronologically, and the fact is, like anyone else, he could die tomorrow. I'm sure he wants to travel and party and relax and not be obligated (by his own word) to do 12+ hours of live shows every week (and all of the related work, which we don't hear)  when he can't be certain he's got many years of good health left. As I said before, even though he hasn't said so, he probably got a little bit excited last year at the thought of starting another chapter in his life if the subscriptions didn't reach 1,900, which would have meant January 2, 2018 would have been the end of his show.

Tom Leykis is BACK - But The End is Near

Talk show host Tom Leykis returned to doing live shows this past Friday, February 2, after announcing he was going to make an announcement on Wednesday, January 31, and that announcement being that he was going to be back on Friday to make some announcements. Got that?

After being very sick for weeks, and having a bad voice as a result, it was good to hear him back on the show and seemingly healthy. He ended up doing a show for about four and a half hours.

The biggest announcement he had is that he's ending his self-titled show this year. He didn't provide an exact date, but he said the show would not exist in 2019.

From what he said, it sounds like there are multiple reasons for this.

As I Guessed

On yesterday's show, Tom Leykis confirmed the threshold had been met and his show will continue. He came on live to make the announcement despite his voice being seriously limited by illness, because he'd  promised that date as the date of the big announcement.

Hopefully, he'll fully recover ASAP.

It will be interesting to see how many people bought yearlong subscriptions that will lapse (due to their intention setting or due to credit card changes) in December of this year. If enough other people subscribe or renew throughout the year, or a significant new sponsorship gets into place, it won't matter.

If Leykis still has a book coming, that should get him a new wave of listeners/callers/subscribers.

Will There Be a Tom Leykis Cliffhanger? - UPDATED

As has happened in some years past, at least as recently as 2014, Tom Leykis, who evaluates his business goals on a calendar year basis, is warning his listeners that his live audio call-in show will end at the turn of the year unless the finances are favorable. Extremely transparent in comparison to so many other entertainers, he's insisting that unless he has 1,900 subscribers by the end of the year (and it is important to note the shows at the end of the year will be repeats due to the holidays), this version of his show, which started in early 2012, will end, with a final live show in early January to say goodbye. And as Leykis says, his word is his bond. As of this writing, he has nearly 1,800 subscribers. Unless the pace of subscriptions and renewals picks up, his live shows this year will end without it being clear if the goal will be met.

If you're not familiar with Leykis' business, you should be. And you should care what happens with it.

A Flaw in Tom Leykis’ Logic

It's been almost ten years since I published what is below the fold. It still stands up.

You're not going to find a better talk show host than Tom Leykis when the topics are the radio and television industries. He's also brilliant when it comes to personal finance and money management, entrepreneurship, motivation, and how to avoid marriage, avoid relationships, and how a man can "get more tail for less money".

One of the areas he falls short in, however, is when he blasts Christianity or a general belief in God. He's a lifelong atheist. But there are atheists out there far more knowledgeable and willing to debate much more seriously than Leykis. So when he tries to goad people to call up and argue with him about God, it isn't surprising that it doesn't "work". He tried having a semi-regular segment to his show called Ask the Atheist, but he dropped it for lack of calls (his audience is different now that his show is streamed online rather than on terrestrial broadcast radio), and today he tried (and failed) to do an unofficial Ask the Atheist hour by saying Hurricane Harvey is proof there is no God. There are many, many, many, many, many serious essays on natural disasters/suffering and the existence of God that Leykis could critique during his show, or he could have a Christian apologist on his show if he was really interested in a serious discussion. Instead, he's inviting his listeners to call in, most whom are primarily interested in how to fornicate with as little trouble as possible. If anyone does try to take the position of Theism or even Deism, Leykis resorts to the tactic of essentially repeating "Sez who?!? and "Not so!!!" and all sorts of sleight of word, redirection, etc. Most of what he does is to provide an entertaining show, but this appears to be an attempt at an ego boost or confirmation bias. Whatever the case, he isn't open to serious discussion on the topic. If he was, it might actually be a more successful segment to the show.

But let's get to what I wrote ten years ago.

Was Sacks Sacked?

As I previously blogged, attorney Adam Michael Sacks would do the Tuesday "bonus" hour of the Tom Leykis Show, and for me, it was must-listen. Recently, that arrangement ended, and as far as I know, all Leykis has publicly said about it is a terse written statement indicating the involvement had ended. No reason was given.

Since Leykis' Internet-based audio talk show began (after the terrestrial broadcast corporate radio version had been off of the air for a few years and Leykis rode out the rest of his contract), Sacks would not only do that hour on Tuesdays, alternating between  "criminal law" (mainly DUI and marijuana violations) and "family law" (mainly divorce, alimony, child support, and child custody), but he would be at listener parties  and events and his ads would run throughout the show. And by his ads, I mean ads for his law practice that featured copy read by Leykis, and ads for becoming an advertiser with The New Normal (Leykis' businesses) as spoken by Sacks. Sacks and Leykis even talked on the show about work Sacks had done for Leykis, such as with traffic tickets and with getting a restraining order against a radio show host Leykis and/or Sacks have described as an obsessed fan. Finally, Sacks would often appear during other times on the show by calling in to answer questions and give advice to another caller.

Of course, listeners have speculated as to why Sacks and Leykis have parted ways. Leykis has had his staff go back and eliminate the Sacks bonus hours from the archive files available as podcasts to paid subscribers. To paraphrase Leykis, he did that because those hours were essentially infomercials. However, there was some entertaining and informative content to many of those hours.


What could the reason be for ending the professional relationship? I have no more insight than any other frequent listener who occasionally visits the show's Facebook page. I figure there are several basic plausible reasons, and it may be a combination of two or more of them. So in no particular order, let's consider them. Again, these are POSSIBLE reasons, I'm not stating that they ARE the reason(s).

How Is It?

How is it that the same guy who berates and threatens his listeners for not calling in on some days, saying he's not going to do the "heavy lifting", rambles on for 30-60 minutes without taking calls on other days?

And there's nothing like taking 45 minutes to say something that could be said in about ten. That's a real talent, and it is a good one to have when you sell advertising and subscriptions.

Marriage is Still Vastly Popular

Tom Leykis keeps repeating that the 2010 U.S. Census showed that for the first time ever in the Census, there are more unmarried adults than married adults.

I’ve heard before that there are now more unmarried “households” than married, which would be significantly different than what Leykis is saying, because each married household would have TWO adults, and many of the unmarried households would have just one adult, meaning that married adults would still significantly outnumber unmarried people.

But... either way, what does it mean? Tom focuses on it to point out that 1) marriage is dead (and I agree that it very well may be dying) and 2) more and more people are thinking/acting like him.

Well hold on there a minute.

Tom advocates not only not marrying, but not having children, not living with anyone else, and not being in an exclusive relationship at all. People who are sticking to that are a tiny percentage of the population.

The overwhelming majority percentage of Americans will get married at least once. Even most of those who never have a marriage ceremony will shack up or otherwise share quarters and/or have children.

Even ardent fans of Leykis will call in an admit that they "fell off the wagon", especially when his show wasn't being distributed live because he was waiting for his contract with CBS Radio to run out (and was getting paid). They got into relationships, many marrying, many having children.

So again, let's assume he's right – there are now more PEOPLE unmarried than people married, rather than it applying to households and not individuals.

Why would change be in effect?

1) People are getting married later. Rather than marrying at 17, 18, 19, 20, people are getting married at 25, 30, and 35. So there are more unmarried 25 year-olds than there used to be. BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL MARRYING.

2) Widows/widowers are living longer. BUT THESE PEOPLE WERE MARRIED and many of them seek to get married again.

3) People are divorcing earlier, living longer after divorce, or waiting longer before entering into another marriage after a divorce. THESE PEOPLE WERE MARRIED and many of them seek to get married again.

4) More people are living in what are essentially commonlaw marriages, which is definitely not what Leykis would advise.

5) Marriage strikers/MGTOW/Leykis 101 Students who are deliberately avoiding marriage.

I'm also curious as to whether the Census classified people whose spouse is in prison, hospitalized, or temporarily working elsewhere/deployed as "single" or "unmarried" (as I know some statistics have) or correctly counted them as married?

Married people OR married households STILL make up almost as much of the population as all of bachelors/bachelorettes/spinsters, same-sex, divorce, single parent, divorced, widowed, and marriage strikers COMBINED.

Now, maybe there is an ongoing trend and marriage rates/lengths will decline significantly. Leykis seems to think so. The other day he was citing polling of “Millennials” and their attitudes towards marriage, and that they don't think it is so important. I can believe that, and it is not surprising they also think there can be marriages without a bride or without a groom. It's part of the same issue. However, as those people age, most will marry and have children, and even those who don't will see other people do it, and a whole lot of them will change their opinions about the significance of marriage and what marriage is and isn't.

Please don't misunderstand me. I’m not saying everyone should marry and raise children. I'm certainly not saying that the legal realities of marriage today are good or beneficial for men (and even many marriage advocates will admit that marriage is for the benefit of children and women, not for men). I'm not denying that demographics are changing. And personally, for reasons I think I've explained in other postings, if I had to do it over again I can't say I would get married. What I AM saying is that statistics are funny things. The way Leykis talks, you'd think that there majority of people are now thinking and living like him (or at least, how he advocates because he has been married himself, but now advises against it). Clearly, that's not the case. All you have to do is look around. Almost all women have either been married or want to marry (or, at least have a wedding).  An overwhelming majority of men alive now who've never been married will get married, enthusiastically or reluctantly.

[Bumped up because of news in September 2014 that stated this statistic again]

Presiding Over the Death of Terrestrial Radio?

Tom Leykis is rapidly approaching a full year of doing his daily show again.

A lot of people call it radio, but it isn't radio. Radio is a transmission method. His show is delivered through the Internet. His show left radio in 2009, when CBS Radio decided it was going to flip the format of the FM talk station he was on in Los Angeles into a Top 40 format, to compete with the ancient existing Top 40 station, owned by Clear Channel, and featuring Ryan Seacrest in the mornings. CBS did this because they needed a station with more female listeners, as their other stations in the market were not very effective at getting women. The ratings did go up. Meanwhile, due to his contract requiring it, CBS payed Leykis his salary until a certain date in 2012. Immediately after that was over, Leykis' show was back, only without corporate dictates and FCC restrictions on language.

He does the show live during the same afternoon timeslot that his radio show ran, for three hours. Commercial breaks are much shorter, and there's no traffic reports, so a lot of content can be packed into those three hours. There's an hourly "News for Guys" presented by two of the guys on his staff. If breaking news or audience response makes it worthwhile, he'll do a fourth "bonus" hour. That's flexibility he wouldn't have on corporate radio. (He will also, on occasion, do the show early or late, and inform listeners via social networking). Speaking of audience response, because of the technology he's using, he can see how many people are listening at any given time, allowing him to adapt immediately.

In addition to ad revenue, his venture brings in income by:

• subscriptions to his premium content (subscriptions also allow access to past shows)
• an Amazon link on the website (his business gets a portion of whatever is spent by the person clicking through to Amazon via that link)
• selling studio services for anyone wanted to use the studio for recording/producing audio content
• donations... I think.

His venture doesn't have the overhead a radio station has, or the massive debt accumulated by the merged/acquired/leveraged corporate radio giants.

If someone is not a premium subscriber, they can either listen live or catch the replays, which run constantly between live show - for free. More and more people will be able to access the show through their smart phones and their automobile dashboards as technology is adapted.

I like the show better now because it is more honest. I think he's figured on the best way of adapting to technology and changes in media. Leykis speaks and length about his own life and the radio business. The insights into what's happening and previously happened with radio is informative and something I actually care about. Of course, Leykis is still an abortion and atheism promoter, which I don't like. However he tried doing "Ask the Atheist" again and it didn't generate enough interest. Leykis claims, and often promotes, libertarian philosophy, but has a populist streak. He encourages others to do what he did: rebuff the Big Corporate world and start their own businesses and buy from small businesses.


He's still telling men how to avoid being the guy everyone else (especially women( walks all over, which is generally good, although I can't go along with some of the specifics. He has sworn off marriage (four times was more than enough) and has no living children (they were all slaughtered in abortion clinics) and doesn't want any, and he's a good salesman for never marrying and remaining childless. As he long has, he discourages shacking up, too. A new part of his instructions is that if a man truly wants to have a child, he, alone, should hire a surrogate mother (and, presumably use a donated egg) so that there's no risk of an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend taking the child away.

Because fewer people are going to tune into the show "accidentally", he can't do hours of talking to people who hate him or his show. He addresses current events that interest him when he's not doing he regular features. Among his regular features are:

• Money Monday, which is money-saving and financial advice for part of the show
• Leykis 101 at 5pm Pacific on Thurssdays, which tells men how to get more tail for less money and tells women how men think
• Leykis 201 for guys who failed Leykis 101 by getting married, becoming a parent, shacking up, etc. and are now having problems
• Be Funny, during which callers can call up and say something funny, whether a joke or whatever, no matter how offensive it is
• His sponsor divorce lawyer taking calls
• Ask a Mexican, which is inspired by a popular column of that name with the columnist himself
• Someone calling in on Fridays to warn of the various drunk driving checkpoints listeners might encounter
• Flash Fridays during daylight savings time, during which drivers turn on their headlights and loyal female listeners are supposed to show their breasts to such drivers. Leykis now uses social networking to solicit related pictures 

As narcissistic, misogynistic, cold, and crass as he might sound at times, you hear his softer side when a woman calls and needs advice on escaping an abusive relationship, investing, starting her own business, or just about anything else in life. He'll spend a long time with listeners, male or female, telling them how to make something of themselves and stop their self-defeating behaviors.

I take the good, and I know why I disagree with the bad. I listen regularly enough that I can be considered a fan.

As your favorite radio hosts disappear from the airwaves, when your favorite radio station flip formats, you should know... Tom said it would be like that.

You can read my previous entries on Leykis by clicking on the tags below.

The Future of Audio Talk Shows?

An interesting development in media happened a week ago. After over three years of waiting for his contract to end (getting paid nicely... he has the same agent as Howard Stern), Tom Leykis resumed his eponymous show, but he's doing it online.

As he points out, technology is progressing such so that new cars, new handheld devices, and home entertainment centers will be able to get live streaming audio from the Internet just like they do from AM, FM, and satellites. This means his potential will grow and his actual audience may grow as well.

His show was in very high demand last Monday and it was crashing web servers with all of the demand. Those trying to access his show might have had trouble doing so.

A fits his personality, he owns the whole operation (his company also streams audio for music and other things) and is not limited by bosses or the FCC or Canadia watchdogs, so he speaks very frankly (including what he thinks about various people in radio) and will use any language doing so - as will his callers. His show is targeted towards males, especially young, unmarried, unchurched males... and the women who want to know what these males are thinking. It is unlike any talk radio you'll hear. Leykis even says it isn't radio, since radio is an appliace. It is live streaming audio. The closest thing it can be compared to is satellite radio's Howard Stern (Leykis shares an agent with Stern, and praises Stern) and podcaster Adam Carolla (sounds like there's no love lost between Adam and Tom) - both themselves refugees from terrestrial radio. Leykis skillfully, bluntly, and often humorously spouts his opinions on current events, pop culture icons, radio hosts, politicians, monetary policy, investing, workplace culture, women, sex, relationships... just about anything. Anyone living on a steady diet of right-wing talk radio, syndicated or local newstalk, religious broadcasting, or bland, politically-correct public or otherwise Leftist radio may find Leykis' audio content disconcerting or a breath of fresh air, depending on their perspective. Just one example - if a caller asks for the call to be ended "Whitney Houston style", he (someone working for him, actually) will play a sample of one of her songs followed by the sound of someone drowning. If you think that's in poor taste, stick around for someone to ask to be "taken out Andrea Yates style".

Leykis does sell advertising time, but so far the ad breaks are short and he also hopes to get revenue from subscriptions that grant people access to podcasts of the show, including the ability to pick and choose which hours they want to listen to, when they want to listen to them... and high quality live audio. Otherwise, people can listen to the live stream for free (like here), or hear it while it repeats constantly until the next live broadcast.

As more of this happens with "radio" and "television", I will be curious to see if the traditional legacy broadcast stations and networks survive. It is so easy to order content on-demand now, and watch it with a portable appliance. My mother has dropped cable and satellite television companies and simply has her big screen hooked up to a computer so she can watch Netflix and DVDs. The shows to which I listen that run on terrestrial or satellite radio I usually listen to via an online stream or podcast.

As I've written over and over again, I think Leykis misses the mark on some important things. But he does have a show many will find entertaining and helpful, and I do think he gets a lot right when it comes to how males are treated and how guys can protect themselves.

Being a Jerk Works

Here's another example out of the hundreds of millions that show some women dig jerks. "Worried Best Friend" wrote in to Dear Margo:

One of my best friends is dating this complete jerk.

You know, when I was a kid, I thought that the way to get a girl to date you was to be nice to her and be a winner. Little did I know. Like many other boys, I'd notice that these jerks and losers always seemed to have no shortage of girls to go out with. I didn't reconcile these notions until I got older and other men started pointing out that being a jerk will not only not scare women off, it will get you easier sex and more sex.

Some women try to deny that women like to be treated badly, but some women keep volunteering to be treated badly. It turns them on. They can't stand men who treat them well.

He is manipulative, condescending, emotionally abusive, and let’s not skip over the time he told me to bleep-off, unprovoked and without an apology afterward.

Are you paying attention boys? Those of you with mothers who aren't with your father anymore – how often have you heard your mother refer to your father as a jerk, or with the traits listed above? Yeah, that's the guy who turned your mother on so much that she got pregnant by him. You can't get pregnant without sex (assuming rape is not involved, or a sperm bank).

I feel like my friend is brainwashed.

This is what she has chosen for heself.

She used to be so confident, and now she has changed the way she acts and even eats! He’s told her she’s gained weight, guilted her about cheeseburgers and scolded her for her spending habits.

He knows this will make her more likely to stick around and have sex with him. He wants her to think so little of herself that she'll keeping having sex with him.

If she gets drunk with her girlfriends, he gets mad.

Well, duh. That is not jerky behavior. That is normal behavior. How is she getting drunk with her girlfriends? Most likely with drinks other men are buying. Now why would a man who doesn't know a woman buy her a drink, hmmmm?

What can I do to help her realize this guy is bad for her? She knows he is a jerk. She’s even said it. But then she says she “loves him” and wants to marry him. She deserves much better.

She deserves exactly what she sticks around to put up with. You can't do anything about it. Badmouthing him will only make her cling to him more.

Dear Margo responded:

The only thing I can say for this chap is that his unhappiness with his girlfriend getting smashed is understandable.

Thank you.

From what you report, he is a controlling hothead, but as is usually the case, your friend will have to arrive at that realization herself. Stop trying to change her mind — because you can’t. These situations are do-it-yourself projects.

She's right.

Some of these guys are not naturally jerks. Some are guys that just want a girlfriend to have a lot of sex with and be best friends and have romance with, but they do not ever want to get married or have kids. These men would be nice guys if that is what got them what they want. But it doesn't, at least not without a lot of time, energy, money, and effort – and an expectation of getting married and having kids. Then these guys find that there are plenty of young, attractive women who will quickly get sexual with guys if they are jerks. They see it with their own eyes. So they become jerks, because that is what gets them the easy sex and with less pressure to get married, to boot.

If more women demanded better, these men would be better.

Leykis on Abortion and Fornication

The hour of the Tom Leykis Show that is on right now as I type features Leykis claiming that anyone who fornicates should be willing to have/encourage someone to have an abortion. He ridicules people who disagree. He maintains that any opposition to abortion must be based on the Bible, and since the Bible also warns against fornication (sex outside of marriage), anyone who would not have an abortion or encourage their partner to have an abortion should also be against fornication and not engage in it.

Granting his assertions, hasn't he ever heard the commonsense "Two wrongs do not make a right?" I can understand the frustration he has in the concept that there could be a woman who would be willing to fornicate with him, but wouldn't be willing to have an abortion if she subsequently became pregnant, thereby legally obligating Leykis (or any other guy) to financial fatherhood when he doesn't want that nor social fatherhood. But sometimes, people do things they believe are wrong - like the person who fornicates even though they don't think it is really moral to do so. It does not follow that they should then engage in what they consider to be another wrong, especially one that they consider much more serious - abortion. Abortion also brings certain risks for women.

So he maintains that people who go against their beliefs once, should go ahead and go against their beliefs again with a completely different action. He makes no distinction between the severity of the wrongs. It's like saying that someone who lies about being rich should then go out and rob a bank so they will be rich, since they lied about being rich, and lying is wrong.

But it is also possible that there are people out there who do not think fornication is wrong at all, or wrong in all circumstances, and still would not have an abortion - for moral reasons or any number of other reasons.

There are people out there who get their morality apart from the Bible. There are people out there, even atheists (like Leykis) who would not have an abortion.

It is absurd to chalk it all up to the Bible.

It is also absurd insist that people can never ever violate their own beliefs without completely forsaking them in every area. People violate their beliefs all of the time without abandoning their belief system entirely.

When Other People Tell You What ‘You’ Want

Some of the most entertaining radio is when Tom Leykis does an hour on how he enjoys being unmarried and living alone - and women call up to argue with him, thereby proving his point for him: that he doesn’t want to live with anyone else, let alone an argumentative, presumptuous nag.

It is amusing to listen to people who know only what Leykis has revealed about himself on the air try to tell Leykis what he really wants – as if a carefully thought-out, successful, middle-aged man who has (by his own public statement) spent a lot of time in therapy and has been married four times, has had other women living with him, and has lived alone (so he's experienced many different lifestyles) needs a stranger to tell him what he “really” wants as far as a living arrangement. Most likely, these people are really communicating what they want, or what they have and think they should be happy with, but may not be.

I think he has a good idea by now what he wants. Now, I chose to get married. That’s what I wanted. I don’t presume to think that is what everyone wants.

When women call in to argue with Leykis to tell him he either doesn't really like living alone, or he shouldn't, they are reinforcing one of the main reasons WHY he - and other men - choose to live alone: peace, quiet, and autonomy.