I'm an unabashed American patriot.
Okay, time for the necessary disclaimer. No, I don't think everything about our nation is great right now nor do I believe everything about our history is good. I believe the Constitution is the most brilliant blueprint for government devised by fallen men, and I also see that we often stray from it.
With that out of the way, I have to say I love this country and I thank the Lord that I was born an American.
As I write this, Independence Day is rapidly approaching, and I want to call attention to this initiative by talk radio host, author, and teacher, Dennis Prager.
Prager, noting how the Passover Seder has kept the memory of the Exodus alive for thousands of years, thought Americans needed a ritual to keep the principles of the American Revolution alive, and of course what better day for that ritual than Independence Day?
Note that Prager University is a distinct website from the website featuring Prager's show. There is a reason for that. Prager University is set up as an educational entity that seeks to counter the destructive influence of Leftist universities and media.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
My Father's Wife is Killing Him
Although I can't name anyone off of the top of my head, there were probably men who were killed in the past because divorce either wasn't an option for a wife or a disastrous one. Likewise, while I condemn murder and I blame murderers for murder and I don't believe any woman deserves to be so much as assaulted for using marriage and divorce laws to her advantage, let alone legitimate protection... I do have to wonder if some women who have been murdered by their husbands or ex-husbands would not have been if the laws had been different, or there was a good pre-nup, or something along those lines.
My father has worked very, very hard. He grew up in the rural Midwest in a family of very modest means. Their home was a single room for part of his childhood. My father was not good with his hands, and his father, who did manual (but skilled) labor, told my father he'd never be able to support a family. At the urging of his teachers, my father applied to universities and for scholarships, and was able to go to a good university and graduate. He came out to California to teach.
My father met my mother, married her, and decided that if he was going to have a family, he needed to earn more than what he was making as a teacher. He went to graduate school and got a higher degree. He landed a job in that field, and proceeded to work his butt off. He stuck with the same employer, played the game, and got into management. He didn't stop until he made it all the way to the top.
He was well on his way to that top spot – he was in the last position he'd have before making there, when my parents divorced.
My father has always been an awesome father to me.
When I was in high school, my parents started to have problems. My father couldn't understand why my mother couldn't be like his female colleagues or the wives of his male colleagues and enjoy "social" events related to his job. My mother did not give him the respect at home a husband should have, while at the office he was admired, respected, and he usually got his way. My mother didn't understand the modern office, and that my father had to interact with women in ways professional men of the past didn't, because in the past women were either secretaries or not present in the office; not colleagues or bosses. My father was reluctant to take vacations that were completely personal, with no connection to his professional goals. My mother has always had some personality issues. Counselor after counselor and a great sex life (according to my mother) couldn't prevent the decline of their marriage.
When I left for college, my father moved into my room at home. It wasn't like my parents were staying together for my sake – I had younger siblings. My father later moved out of the house entirely, but stayed close, and then the divorce was final about three years after I had left.
It is a community property state, and my mother, although having retired to the workforce, earned significantly less than my father. So he has payments to make to her for life, as it is unlikely she will ever remarry. She claims she got screwed over. My father never discusses any of that stuff with me.
My father met another woman, who was willing to be by his side at all of the functions and parties he went to. They married around the same time my father finally made it to the top at the office. Several years later, my father was fed up with the board and took his retirement. He could still collect his retirement and work elsewhere, and that's exactly what he did, and my guess is that he makes significantly more in his new position, even though he isn't the CEO.
We don't discuss his finances, but apparently he's discussed them somewhat with one of my sisters, and it sounds like he's been rather foolish. My father apparently didn't know that his wife owed back taxes and back child support (yes, a woman owing child support). From what I understand, when they sold her house and bought another one, it was placed in her name. She works, but she's self-employed and I highly doubt she earns anywhere near what my father does. So the way I figure it, my father paid off her back taxes and child support and is paying for her home.
My siblings have never liked my father's wife, and I don't think they've been fair to her. This is not surprising, since the nexus of that side of the family is my mother and my eldest sister. I've had mostly a good relationship with my father’s wife, and have been willing to give her every benefit of the doubt. But my perception has been changing. There was another recent incident during which she publicly disrespected my father. And it makes me think back to how she acted for a full year after my wife and I married; events around the wedding did not go the way she would have wanted, so we couldn't all get together. After we let her vent at us for something we had nothing to do with, things seemed to be fine and we were willing to put it all behind us.
She had three children of her own. One has opted to make a life on the other side of the world. Another has opted to raise her family close to her father, who is in a different part of the country; a man we have reason to believe is evil. The only one who came back to the area killed himself. All three of her children liked my father. So my father hasn't been the problem, and apparently a man who does unspeakable things to his own children is preferred to my father's wife (but perhaps the daughter is sick?).
My father has been going to counseling and trying to patch things up with my siblings. He's aging as though he's under a lot of stress.
The marriage has lasted more than ten years, so if it ends my father will be paying a second woman for life and will have to find a new home. For all I know her expensive tastes have saddled them with debt and lousy credit.
If my father does want to leave his wife, he may not because of the financial issues.
My wife says that my mother is still in love with my father. My father has a rather bad memory of his marriage to my mother, so it's not like there would be hope of them getting back together.
A definite benefit for my father for going through another divorce would be better relations with my siblings. Heck, they'd probably throw him the biggest party he's ever seen and let him move in to one of their places.
I was taken off guard by how my father was disrespected. I should have said something, but I tend to do better when I've had time to mull it over. I will be better prepared if I ever see that again.
Guys, don't be stupid with your money. If you marry, marry a woman who has good financial habits, and get a good pre-nup that involves full disclosure. Do not pay for anything – a house, a car, anything – that isn't in your name.
My father has worked very, very hard. He grew up in the rural Midwest in a family of very modest means. Their home was a single room for part of his childhood. My father was not good with his hands, and his father, who did manual (but skilled) labor, told my father he'd never be able to support a family. At the urging of his teachers, my father applied to universities and for scholarships, and was able to go to a good university and graduate. He came out to California to teach.
My father met my mother, married her, and decided that if he was going to have a family, he needed to earn more than what he was making as a teacher. He went to graduate school and got a higher degree. He landed a job in that field, and proceeded to work his butt off. He stuck with the same employer, played the game, and got into management. He didn't stop until he made it all the way to the top.
He was well on his way to that top spot – he was in the last position he'd have before making there, when my parents divorced.
My father has always been an awesome father to me.
When I was in high school, my parents started to have problems. My father couldn't understand why my mother couldn't be like his female colleagues or the wives of his male colleagues and enjoy "social" events related to his job. My mother did not give him the respect at home a husband should have, while at the office he was admired, respected, and he usually got his way. My mother didn't understand the modern office, and that my father had to interact with women in ways professional men of the past didn't, because in the past women were either secretaries or not present in the office; not colleagues or bosses. My father was reluctant to take vacations that were completely personal, with no connection to his professional goals. My mother has always had some personality issues. Counselor after counselor and a great sex life (according to my mother) couldn't prevent the decline of their marriage.
When I left for college, my father moved into my room at home. It wasn't like my parents were staying together for my sake – I had younger siblings. My father later moved out of the house entirely, but stayed close, and then the divorce was final about three years after I had left.
It is a community property state, and my mother, although having retired to the workforce, earned significantly less than my father. So he has payments to make to her for life, as it is unlikely she will ever remarry. She claims she got screwed over. My father never discusses any of that stuff with me.
My father met another woman, who was willing to be by his side at all of the functions and parties he went to. They married around the same time my father finally made it to the top at the office. Several years later, my father was fed up with the board and took his retirement. He could still collect his retirement and work elsewhere, and that's exactly what he did, and my guess is that he makes significantly more in his new position, even though he isn't the CEO.
We don't discuss his finances, but apparently he's discussed them somewhat with one of my sisters, and it sounds like he's been rather foolish. My father apparently didn't know that his wife owed back taxes and back child support (yes, a woman owing child support). From what I understand, when they sold her house and bought another one, it was placed in her name. She works, but she's self-employed and I highly doubt she earns anywhere near what my father does. So the way I figure it, my father paid off her back taxes and child support and is paying for her home.
My siblings have never liked my father's wife, and I don't think they've been fair to her. This is not surprising, since the nexus of that side of the family is my mother and my eldest sister. I've had mostly a good relationship with my father’s wife, and have been willing to give her every benefit of the doubt. But my perception has been changing. There was another recent incident during which she publicly disrespected my father. And it makes me think back to how she acted for a full year after my wife and I married; events around the wedding did not go the way she would have wanted, so we couldn't all get together. After we let her vent at us for something we had nothing to do with, things seemed to be fine and we were willing to put it all behind us.
She had three children of her own. One has opted to make a life on the other side of the world. Another has opted to raise her family close to her father, who is in a different part of the country; a man we have reason to believe is evil. The only one who came back to the area killed himself. All three of her children liked my father. So my father hasn't been the problem, and apparently a man who does unspeakable things to his own children is preferred to my father's wife (but perhaps the daughter is sick?).
My father has been going to counseling and trying to patch things up with my siblings. He's aging as though he's under a lot of stress.
The marriage has lasted more than ten years, so if it ends my father will be paying a second woman for life and will have to find a new home. For all I know her expensive tastes have saddled them with debt and lousy credit.
If my father does want to leave his wife, he may not because of the financial issues.
My wife says that my mother is still in love with my father. My father has a rather bad memory of his marriage to my mother, so it's not like there would be hope of them getting back together.
A definite benefit for my father for going through another divorce would be better relations with my siblings. Heck, they'd probably throw him the biggest party he's ever seen and let him move in to one of their places.
I was taken off guard by how my father was disrespected. I should have said something, but I tend to do better when I've had time to mull it over. I will be better prepared if I ever see that again.
Guys, don't be stupid with your money. If you marry, marry a woman who has good financial habits, and get a good pre-nup that involves full disclosure. Do not pay for anything – a house, a car, anything – that isn't in your name.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Brady Bunch Was Fiction
I can't believe I never thought about this before. I've thought plenty about how simply dating a single/divorced/widowed mother to minor children can obligate a man to shell out money for her kids, but I hadn't thought about the position that parents are put in when their adult children date parents of minor children. FAIR-MINDED IN WEST VIRGINIA wrote in to Dear Abby:
So sad to hear it.
Even more sad to hear that. Her kids don’t need that. Neither do his kids. And he doesn’t need to obligate himself financially to your daughter and grandchildren.
Shacking up is a horrible idea. What a terrible example for the children. It also increases the likelihood of abuse.
That mostly makes it worse. The only upside is that since they are being thrown together pre-puberty, it is less likely they will be having sex with each other.
So what's the letter writer's concern? The chaos? The bad example? The negative correlations? No! It's...
Do not acknowledge his birthday at all. But his kids have no control over this. I'd say you should send them all gifts, but the chances are, this mess isn't going to last very long, and then the kids may still expect gifts. The kids are a little young to appreciate it, but you could make savings deposits for your grandchildren, and send the cards to your daughter with the instruction that she present them to your grandchildren when the other kids aren't present.
The proper thing was for your daughter to not shack up in the first place.
Dear Abby responded:
So, if her daughter were to get a roommate, wouldn't that mean they "formed a household" and they should send gifts to the roommate's kids? It isn't like they all get together every week.
If. Blended families rarely work anything like the Brady Bunch. And they aren't even family, because it is a shack-up situation.
What a mess. Don't do this to your parents. If you're not going to wait for the kids to be grown, then at least get married and thereby make the other people family.
Our daughter is divorced with two children.
So sad to hear it.
She has been dating a man who has three children.
Even more sad to hear that. Her kids don’t need that. Neither do his kids. And he doesn’t need to obligate himself financially to your daughter and grandchildren.
Recently, they decided to move in together.
Shacking up is a horrible idea. What a terrible example for the children. It also increases the likelihood of abuse.
All the children are first grade or younger.
That mostly makes it worse. The only upside is that since they are being thrown together pre-puberty, it is less likely they will be having sex with each other.
So what's the letter writer's concern? The chaos? The bad example? The negative correlations? No! It's...
What would be the proper way to handle birthdays?
If my daughter and her boyfriend were married, or even engaged, I wouldn't have a problem sending gifts to his children. But since my husband and I hardly know this man (we live in another state and have met him only once or twice), we're not sure how to handle this.
Do not acknowledge his birthday at all. But his kids have no control over this. I'd say you should send them all gifts, but the chances are, this mess isn't going to last very long, and then the kids may still expect gifts. The kids are a little young to appreciate it, but you could make savings deposits for your grandchildren, and send the cards to your daughter with the instruction that she present them to your grandchildren when the other kids aren't present.
What's the proper thing?
The proper thing was for your daughter to not shack up in the first place.
Dear Abby responded:
Your daughter and grandchildren have formed a household with her boyfriend and his kids. If you're compassionate people, you will treat all of the children equally for as long as the relationship lasts.
So, if her daughter were to get a roommate, wouldn't that mean they "formed a household" and they should send gifts to the roommate's kids? It isn't like they all get together every week.
If they decide to marry, which is a possibility, you will wind up being grandparents to all of them.
If. Blended families rarely work anything like the Brady Bunch. And they aren't even family, because it is a shack-up situation.
What a mess. Don't do this to your parents. If you're not going to wait for the kids to be grown, then at least get married and thereby make the other people family.
The Minefield of Complimenting Beauty
What ever happened to giving and accepting compliments? MARRIED TO A KNOCKOUT wrote to Dear Abby:
Certainly, that’s better than "Does your wife play fetch?" Isn't it?
Why? Isn't that better than doing it behind their wife's back? They're not saying, "My wife is ugly compared to your hot babe."
How about, "Thanks. I blame her mother."?
Well, that was polite of you.
It could just be compliments. I mean, would you feel this way if they told you that your wife was so sharp, or so nice? On the other hand, maybe they are swingers and are doing some early testing of your waters. If the next time they see you they say, "Won't you join is in the hot tub... for some drinks... and some wild sex" you'll know.
Dear Abby responded:
Really?
Okay. Well, I don't recall putting anyone in that same position, but I don't see anything inherently wrong with the situation. Back in my bachelor days I would make a point of shaking a man's hand and telling him "way to go", nodding slyly towards his attractive wife or girlfriend. But that was usually a moment between just the two of us.
Recently, one sister-in-law was asking another who is getting into even better shape, and who is involved in the performing arts (no, not stripping or anything nude), if she is going to get breast implants. The question bummed out the second sister-in-law, and I wanted to tell her that there's nothing wrong with her body the way it is. I didn't say a thing, though, because I thought it my freak her out or upset my wife. I like my wife's body better, mind you, and I think about my wife and her body constantly, but there's nothing wrong with that sister-in-law’s body. When my wife and I were back home, I mentioned the situation and what I had thought. She didn’t seem like she would have been upset. Instead, the conversation diverted to the first sister-in-law who'd asked the question. She's so out of shape that it is clear she envies her sister's body and even said that if she could do one "simple" thing to have the perfect body, she would.
Anyway, when in doubt, it is best for a man, especially a husband, to stay silent. I can't help but think this is related to "sexual harassment" policies in the workplace and radical feminism, and in Christian circles, the concern that a man may possibly admire the female form, even if that form doesn't belong to his wife. Complimenting a woman's appearance is now a minefield. And make no mistake about it - when a man is told his wife is beautiful, it is also a compliment to the man. It says he has good taste and that he was capable of attracting a beautiful wife.
Twice, while attending social functions, my wife and I met couples for the first time. On each of these occasions as we were saying goodbye, the husbands said to me, "Your wife is gorgeous."
Certainly, that’s better than "Does your wife play fetch?" Isn't it?
They said it in front of their wives, which surprised me.
Why? Isn't that better than doing it behind their wife's back? They're not saying, "My wife is ugly compared to your hot babe."
The first time it happened, I didn't know what to say.
How about, "Thanks. I blame her mother."?
The second time, I replied, "So is yours," even though the women weren't all that attractive.
Well, that was polite of you.
I'm wondering if their comments were appropriate, especially because they were made in the presence of their wives. I wasn't offended, just caught off-guard and felt uncomfortable for their wives.
It could just be compliments. I mean, would you feel this way if they told you that your wife was so sharp, or so nice? On the other hand, maybe they are swingers and are doing some early testing of your waters. If the next time they see you they say, "Won't you join is in the hot tub... for some drinks... and some wild sex" you'll know.
Dear Abby responded:
The comments those individuals made strike me as insensitive to the feelings of their wives because it invited a comparison which could have made the women feel uncomfortable.
Really?
I think you handled both situations gallantly.
Okay. Well, I don't recall putting anyone in that same position, but I don't see anything inherently wrong with the situation. Back in my bachelor days I would make a point of shaking a man's hand and telling him "way to go", nodding slyly towards his attractive wife or girlfriend. But that was usually a moment between just the two of us.
Recently, one sister-in-law was asking another who is getting into even better shape, and who is involved in the performing arts (no, not stripping or anything nude), if she is going to get breast implants. The question bummed out the second sister-in-law, and I wanted to tell her that there's nothing wrong with her body the way it is. I didn't say a thing, though, because I thought it my freak her out or upset my wife. I like my wife's body better, mind you, and I think about my wife and her body constantly, but there's nothing wrong with that sister-in-law’s body. When my wife and I were back home, I mentioned the situation and what I had thought. She didn’t seem like she would have been upset. Instead, the conversation diverted to the first sister-in-law who'd asked the question. She's so out of shape that it is clear she envies her sister's body and even said that if she could do one "simple" thing to have the perfect body, she would.
Anyway, when in doubt, it is best for a man, especially a husband, to stay silent. I can't help but think this is related to "sexual harassment" policies in the workplace and radical feminism, and in Christian circles, the concern that a man may possibly admire the female form, even if that form doesn't belong to his wife. Complimenting a woman's appearance is now a minefield. And make no mistake about it - when a man is told his wife is beautiful, it is also a compliment to the man. It says he has good taste and that he was capable of attracting a beautiful wife.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Maybe She'll Get a Show on E!
From the Associated Press, distributing stuff from Maine's Portland Press Herald, comes this update on a repeat "American Idol" contestant.
She's now facing domestic abuse charges, and I hope she will be get the very same treatment as if the sexes were switched in this story.
Isn't that the classic response from a victim of DV? There's something wrong with him for trying to protect her from the law. Or she's really, really good in the sack. Most crazy women are, and a lot of guys will put up with a heckuva lot for wild sex. It's all fun until she cuts off your penis or sets you on fire, and not only gets away with it, but has a movie made about her to air on Lifetime.
Cunningham? I don't remember Joanie behaving that way.
That was no doubt a way to get a little more airtime. Stay classy.
A police report says 25-year-old Jessica Candage of Yarmouth was spotted Sunday evening by a Portland officer who said it appeared she was preventing her husband from walking toward him. The officer then saw Candage punch her husband, Craig, in the face several times.
She's now facing domestic abuse charges, and I hope she will be get the very same treatment as if the sexes were switched in this story.
Craig Candage told the Portland Press Herald the incident was his fault and his wife shouldn't have been charged.
Isn't that the classic response from a victim of DV? There's something wrong with him for trying to protect her from the law. Or she's really, really good in the sack. Most crazy women are, and a lot of guys will put up with a heckuva lot for wild sex. It's all fun until she cuts off your penis or sets you on fire, and not only gets away with it, but has a movie made about her to air on Lifetime.
Jessica Candage competed on "American Idol" under the stage name Jessica Cunningham.
Cunningham? I don't remember Joanie behaving that way.
She twice made it to the final 24. When last voted off the show, she responded to the judges' rejection by delivering a two-fisted, obscene gesture.
That was no doubt a way to get a little more airtime. Stay classy.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Another Boy Being Raised in Chaos
Here's another shining example from the "single mother" files. FEARFUL NANA IN GEORGIA wrote in to Dear Abby:
There's no father around, or mentioned at all. One must wonder why Alana didn't give the boy, "Tristan", up for adoption since she is so busy.
Unacceptable. She shouldn't be doing that, but no man should be putting up with it.
What he needs is you to adopt him.
That is your concern? Spanking? That's the least of the problems with what is going on.
Dear Abby questions Alana's self-esteem (of course - even though it sounds like Alana wasn't spanked). If she has such low esteem, how did she get a lucrative career?
She's not going to listen.
Parents should wait until their kids are grown.
That poor kid. His grandparents are his lifeline. Who knocked up Alana? Do you have any idea what is being done to your offspring?
My daughter, "Alana," has a 7-year-old son my husband and I have helped to raise while she got her life together and pursued her lucrative career.
There's no father around, or mentioned at all. One must wonder why Alana didn't give the boy, "Tristan", up for adoption since she is so busy.
The problem is, every time Alana gets a new boyfriend, she rushes to make the boyfriend Tristan's "daddy."
Unacceptable. She shouldn't be doing that, but no man should be putting up with it.
The men my daughter chooses are crude, rude and, without fail, feel a need to "straighten out" Tristan. My grandson does not need straightening out because he is polite, engaging and a good soul.
What he needs is you to adopt him.
Alana claims she's "in love" and fails to see the potential harm this guy could inflict on Tristan. We do not employ corporal punishment, but Jeff has already said (several times) he would "beat his butt"!
That is your concern? Spanking? That's the least of the problems with what is going on.
Dear Abby questions Alana's self-esteem (of course - even though it sounds like Alana wasn't spanked). If she has such low esteem, how did she get a lucrative career?
You and your husband need to get across to her how harmful it is for her to repeatedly introduce men to her son as "daddies."
She's not going to listen.
Parents should wait until they know their prospective mates well enough to be assured they won't injure the child physically or psychologically.
Parents should wait until their kids are grown.
That poor kid. His grandparents are his lifeline. Who knocked up Alana? Do you have any idea what is being done to your offspring?
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Should He Have Shut Up?
Dr. Laura usually gets it right. As my readers know, I'm a huge fan of hers.
Unless there was some off-air info the audience wasn't given, I think she dropped the ball on this one. June 9, 2011 Hour 2... almost 27 minutes into the podcast, she takes a call from "Brooke" who says she's in a 7 month relationship, and about 4 months in "before they started dating", the guy she is seeing told her he's "had an issue with pornography". No explanation was given by the caller as to what exactly was meant. Some people consider clothing catalogs pornographic.
Dr. Laura usually asks, "men, women, children, or small farm animals?" But she didn't.
He's now taking steps to be "accountable", including not having a lot of personal communication devices/computers that would allow him to access whatever it is that he calls porn.
He says he's a virgin and he's a Christian. If he wasn't religious, I can't see him having confessed to a girl he was dating his problem. He probably wouldn't have seen it as a problem in the first place, and wouldn't be taking steps to avoid porn.
Dr. Laura - who has told woman after woman that it isn't a big deal if a guy looks at porn of women or heterosexual sex as long as it doesn't go beyond mere recreation as far as time usage, doesn't keep him from making love with his wife, and doesn't use up family funds - noted that it must be "serious" if the guy was going without personal computers in his home.
I think this is a misunderstanding, because Dr. Laura is not steeped in the same religious culture as the caller and her (potential) boyfriend.
She told the girl to move on or have her tubes tied.
Assuming the guy was only looking at women or women having sex with men, I would think if the guy wasn't taking accountability steps, but was still looking at porn, we can reasonably guess from Dr. Laura's other statements about men and porn that her advice would be to tell the girl to get over it. It is quite possible that if this guy had never told this caller he had what he considered a problem, or had simply never tried to do anything about it, she would never, ever have found out in the first place. They could have had a lifelong happy marriage without the subject ever coming up.
It is quite possible that the guy was simply very horny because he was a virgin and not having sex on a regular basis, and once he was having regular lovemaking with his wife, he wouldn't have much use for porn at all. It is normal for men, even Christian virgins, to be horny on a regular basis, and have erotic dreams. If they don't masturbate, they are going to ejaculate anyway, as it is natural biology.
Frankly, if a guy is so "pure" that he doesn't ever look, then I'd tell a woman to be extremely careful that lest she marry a man with no sex drive, or who has been traumatized and isn't going to make love to her.
There probably is some guy out there compatible with this caller who is a virgin (if that is what she wants), and who hasn't "had a problem" with porn. But that will be a rare specimen indeed, and more rare with each day that goes by (assuming she wants to marry a man her age or older).
As for this guy, he'll be punished for doing what he thought was the right thing, what others have probably told him to do as part of his accountability, and being honest with the caller. Or we could see it as ongoing punishment for having indulged in the first place... though others who have indulged and aren't so open about it will not face that punishment (at least not in this life).
If the caller stays with him, she'll probably let it bug her and if she does, she will no doubt take that out on him.
If she dumps him, he'll be that much older and a virgin, and I'd wager (if I was a bettin' man) that the older a man is a virgin, the more wary Dr. Laura would tell a woman calling her to be wary.
As I've written here before, my wife was a virgin when we married. She made no secret about that. She also told me after we married that she had had a VHS tape of soft core (Cinemax or Showtime) to help sooth her urges. I never saw it - she claims she erased it when we married. She didn't get into anything strange. She didn't become a murderer. She's a great mother, and for the most part, an excellent wife.
I don't write any of this to defend porn, sinful lusting, or any other sin. But I do think people should be realistic, fair, and not let reactions get out of proportion.
Unless there was some off-air info the audience wasn't given, I think she dropped the ball on this one. June 9, 2011 Hour 2... almost 27 minutes into the podcast, she takes a call from "Brooke" who says she's in a 7 month relationship, and about 4 months in "before they started dating", the guy she is seeing told her he's "had an issue with pornography". No explanation was given by the caller as to what exactly was meant. Some people consider clothing catalogs pornographic.
Dr. Laura usually asks, "men, women, children, or small farm animals?" But she didn't.
He's now taking steps to be "accountable", including not having a lot of personal communication devices/computers that would allow him to access whatever it is that he calls porn.
He says he's a virgin and he's a Christian. If he wasn't religious, I can't see him having confessed to a girl he was dating his problem. He probably wouldn't have seen it as a problem in the first place, and wouldn't be taking steps to avoid porn.
Dr. Laura - who has told woman after woman that it isn't a big deal if a guy looks at porn of women or heterosexual sex as long as it doesn't go beyond mere recreation as far as time usage, doesn't keep him from making love with his wife, and doesn't use up family funds - noted that it must be "serious" if the guy was going without personal computers in his home.
I think this is a misunderstanding, because Dr. Laura is not steeped in the same religious culture as the caller and her (potential) boyfriend.
She told the girl to move on or have her tubes tied.
Assuming the guy was only looking at women or women having sex with men, I would think if the guy wasn't taking accountability steps, but was still looking at porn, we can reasonably guess from Dr. Laura's other statements about men and porn that her advice would be to tell the girl to get over it. It is quite possible that if this guy had never told this caller he had what he considered a problem, or had simply never tried to do anything about it, she would never, ever have found out in the first place. They could have had a lifelong happy marriage without the subject ever coming up.
It is quite possible that the guy was simply very horny because he was a virgin and not having sex on a regular basis, and once he was having regular lovemaking with his wife, he wouldn't have much use for porn at all. It is normal for men, even Christian virgins, to be horny on a regular basis, and have erotic dreams. If they don't masturbate, they are going to ejaculate anyway, as it is natural biology.
Frankly, if a guy is so "pure" that he doesn't ever look, then I'd tell a woman to be extremely careful that lest she marry a man with no sex drive, or who has been traumatized and isn't going to make love to her.
There probably is some guy out there compatible with this caller who is a virgin (if that is what she wants), and who hasn't "had a problem" with porn. But that will be a rare specimen indeed, and more rare with each day that goes by (assuming she wants to marry a man her age or older).
As for this guy, he'll be punished for doing what he thought was the right thing, what others have probably told him to do as part of his accountability, and being honest with the caller. Or we could see it as ongoing punishment for having indulged in the first place... though others who have indulged and aren't so open about it will not face that punishment (at least not in this life).
If the caller stays with him, she'll probably let it bug her and if she does, she will no doubt take that out on him.
If she dumps him, he'll be that much older and a virgin, and I'd wager (if I was a bettin' man) that the older a man is a virgin, the more wary Dr. Laura would tell a woman calling her to be wary.
As I've written here before, my wife was a virgin when we married. She made no secret about that. She also told me after we married that she had had a VHS tape of soft core (Cinemax or Showtime) to help sooth her urges. I never saw it - she claims she erased it when we married. She didn't get into anything strange. She didn't become a murderer. She's a great mother, and for the most part, an excellent wife.
I don't write any of this to defend porn, sinful lusting, or any other sin. But I do think people should be realistic, fair, and not let reactions get out of proportion.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Should Christians Marry Younger?
This entry is very long may be of no interest to my readers who are not Theists.
I usually catch some of Frank Pastore's show in the Los Angeles radio market. Pastore has a great show and I generally think he’s awesome. (Long story short: Pastore had a horrible childhood, was an atheist who scoffed at believers, became an MLB pitcher, had a career-ending injury, and became a Christian after being challenged by teammates. He got formal education that equipped him to talk intelligently about religion, philosophy, and politics.) On Tuesday's show, he was again talking about a concept I've heard him discuss before, because Dr. Al Mohler had been on "Focus on the Family" talking about it.
Here's the concept:
Christians should be raising children from birth with the expectation that they will marry at about ages 18-20, and the Church (Christians) should support such young newlyweds as they "grow into adulthood together".
Why? Because what we're doing now, which is telling our young people to complete their education, mature, and establish their careers before marrying at about ages 25 to 30, while we also are telling people to save sex for marriage (wink, wink) isn’t "working". It isn't working as evidenced by all of the shacking up, fornication, unwed pregnancies, and multiple "failed" relationships going on with "Christians"… which may, possibly, unthinkably, lead to the horrible abomination of.... men admiring pictures of nude women.
Okay, so I added that last part, but "porn use" is one of the problems cited with having people who are feeling raging hormones by age 13 wait 12 to 17 years to marry.
Mohler presents marriage as the expected norm in a way so as to portray the "gift of celibacy" that would allow a good Christian to stay unmarried as extremely rare. (Unfortunately, some men find that the "gift" of celibacy isn’t so rare in wives.) It could be taken in a way so that unmarried people are made to feel like something is wrong with them and they aren’t being good Christians, even if they aren’t fornicating.
Even lowering the age most Christians marry to 18 isn't going to eliminate the problem. As Mohler himself notes, people are growing physically/sexually mature at younger ages – currently by 13. Even if people do marry by 18, that still leaves five years of raging hormones. How many "Christian" children lose their virginity before 18? Would that number go down if they know they'll likely only have to wait until 18 rather than 25?
I usually catch some of Frank Pastore's show in the Los Angeles radio market. Pastore has a great show and I generally think he’s awesome. (Long story short: Pastore had a horrible childhood, was an atheist who scoffed at believers, became an MLB pitcher, had a career-ending injury, and became a Christian after being challenged by teammates. He got formal education that equipped him to talk intelligently about religion, philosophy, and politics.) On Tuesday's show, he was again talking about a concept I've heard him discuss before, because Dr. Al Mohler had been on "Focus on the Family" talking about it.
Here's the concept:
Christians should be raising children from birth with the expectation that they will marry at about ages 18-20, and the Church (Christians) should support such young newlyweds as they "grow into adulthood together".
Why? Because what we're doing now, which is telling our young people to complete their education, mature, and establish their careers before marrying at about ages 25 to 30, while we also are telling people to save sex for marriage (wink, wink) isn’t "working". It isn't working as evidenced by all of the shacking up, fornication, unwed pregnancies, and multiple "failed" relationships going on with "Christians"… which may, possibly, unthinkably, lead to the horrible abomination of.... men admiring pictures of nude women.
Okay, so I added that last part, but "porn use" is one of the problems cited with having people who are feeling raging hormones by age 13 wait 12 to 17 years to marry.
Mohler presents marriage as the expected norm in a way so as to portray the "gift of celibacy" that would allow a good Christian to stay unmarried as extremely rare. (Unfortunately, some men find that the "gift" of celibacy isn’t so rare in wives.) It could be taken in a way so that unmarried people are made to feel like something is wrong with them and they aren’t being good Christians, even if they aren’t fornicating.
Even lowering the age most Christians marry to 18 isn't going to eliminate the problem. As Mohler himself notes, people are growing physically/sexually mature at younger ages – currently by 13. Even if people do marry by 18, that still leaves five years of raging hormones. How many "Christian" children lose their virginity before 18? Would that number go down if they know they'll likely only have to wait until 18 rather than 25?
Hot For Teacher
WONDERING IN WYOMING, a teacher of ten years, wrote in to Dear Abby:
This is not unusual, thought I tended to look at my teachers as... teachers. I don't recall thinking much about their personal lives at all. I was there to learn from them, they were there to teach me.
You should have been warned about this.
She goes on to express her hesitation as well as her openness to this being the love of her life, asking if it would be inappropriate to follow her heart.
Wyoming is generally not the place I think of when I think of attractive women. I'm sure there are some there. But the most attractive young women tend to gravitate to the large metropolitan areas, especially the warmer ones, because there are more men with money, power, and fame to compete for her affections, and more opportunities for her to show off what she has. Think Los Angeles, Dallas, and Miami. Anyway, Kyle has an attraction, but it could be some unrealistic fantasy, especially a teacher-student fantasy, and his infatuation may give way to disillusionment. Or, maybe he's genuinely and deeply drawn to her. Hopefully, it is the latter.
If she's been teaching for ten years, then she's probably at least 32. She doesn't explain what grade she teaches, but Kyle is, at the oldest, 28. A wife being four years older can certainly work. Now, if he's 21, then the long-term prospects aren't so good.
I don't see any moral problem with her dating him. Dear Abby agrees, though warns that she should expect gossip and should be prepared to relocate. Good advice.
I'd bet money (if I was a wagerin’ man) that some male teachers and coaches in WONDERING's area are married to former students.
The girlfriend I had the longest relationship with (before my wife) was starting her teaching career when we first started dating. She had an amazing body. No matter how conservatively she dressed, she couldn't hide her DD breasts, and at least once, jealous female students falsely accused her of flaunting them. The funny thing was, that girlfriend failed to accept that she had a great body. She was teaching middle schoolers the first year, and she asked me if she should make male students work at the chalkboard. It took me a second to get the real meaning of her question, but once I understood, I advised her that it would be best to let the students stay in their seats. At that age, boys are getting erections all of time with little rhyme or reason, but her presence was plenty of reason. Those poor boys didn't stand a chance. Even if they cared more about the caboose. Or legs. She was all good.
So, ladies and gentlemen... did you have a crush on any of your teachers? Or whether as a student or adult, do you have any experience with a situation like this? Would you tell the letter writer not to do it?
One student I've kept in touch with recently admitted his romantic love for me.
This is not unusual, thought I tended to look at my teachers as... teachers. I don't recall thinking much about their personal lives at all. I was there to learn from them, they were there to teach me.
"Kyle" is now in his 20s and on his own. As his teacher 10 years ago, I'd never have dreamed of this happening.
You should have been warned about this.
What's difficult is I think I reciprocate those feelings. I never expected the man I connect with most to be a former student, but Kyle is an adult and I know him as such.
She goes on to express her hesitation as well as her openness to this being the love of her life, asking if it would be inappropriate to follow her heart.
Wyoming is generally not the place I think of when I think of attractive women. I'm sure there are some there. But the most attractive young women tend to gravitate to the large metropolitan areas, especially the warmer ones, because there are more men with money, power, and fame to compete for her affections, and more opportunities for her to show off what she has. Think Los Angeles, Dallas, and Miami. Anyway, Kyle has an attraction, but it could be some unrealistic fantasy, especially a teacher-student fantasy, and his infatuation may give way to disillusionment. Or, maybe he's genuinely and deeply drawn to her. Hopefully, it is the latter.
If she's been teaching for ten years, then she's probably at least 32. She doesn't explain what grade she teaches, but Kyle is, at the oldest, 28. A wife being four years older can certainly work. Now, if he's 21, then the long-term prospects aren't so good.
I don't see any moral problem with her dating him. Dear Abby agrees, though warns that she should expect gossip and should be prepared to relocate. Good advice.
I'd bet money (if I was a wagerin’ man) that some male teachers and coaches in WONDERING's area are married to former students.
The girlfriend I had the longest relationship with (before my wife) was starting her teaching career when we first started dating. She had an amazing body. No matter how conservatively she dressed, she couldn't hide her DD breasts, and at least once, jealous female students falsely accused her of flaunting them. The funny thing was, that girlfriend failed to accept that she had a great body. She was teaching middle schoolers the first year, and she asked me if she should make male students work at the chalkboard. It took me a second to get the real meaning of her question, but once I understood, I advised her that it would be best to let the students stay in their seats. At that age, boys are getting erections all of time with little rhyme or reason, but her presence was plenty of reason. Those poor boys didn't stand a chance. Even if they cared more about the caboose. Or legs. She was all good.
So, ladies and gentlemen... did you have a crush on any of your teachers? Or whether as a student or adult, do you have any experience with a situation like this? Would you tell the letter writer not to do it?
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
He's a Little Late in Ending This
This guy is complaining about his girlfriend constantly being tardy and losing things. I was always on time for everything... before I had kids. And I am literally compulsive about checking to make sure I don't lose things. If you were hanging around me, you'd see me checking my pockets often. LOSING PATIENCE IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST wrote to Dear Abby:
So you've been dating her for seven years now, since she was in her mid to late 20s, when she should have been looking for a husband, if that is what she wants. Nice.
You should have noticed all of this fairly early on, and realized this was not a match for you.
Uh huh…
You should have ended this a long time ago. You don't want a lifetime of this.
My guess is that this guy thought she would get better as she matured – perhaps he thought it was “cute” at first. Or, it is possible that he simply wants to trade her in for a younger model (notice, we don't have his age, though he mentions hers) and this is his excuse. He was able to tolerate this stuff because she was younger and hotter and good in bed. But now she's well out of her 20s* and she's probably getting complacent and dropping things out of her sexual arsenal... probably getting less and less enthusiastic and taking more and more effort on his part to get her to climax. Dumping her means he gets to go on the hunt again, experience a new, younger body, and have that New Relationship Energy again.
*If you’ve read some of my better past entries, you know I enjoyed the company of women of various ages, including into their 40s and 50s when I was in my 20s. But many men, especially in Category 4, see 30 as the "expiration date" when it comes to women. For them, it is downhill from there. And now that she's in her mid-30s, her options are dropping away.
I have been in a seven-year relationship with "Maddy," which will probably end soon because she can't seem to stick to any kind of routine. Maddy is in her mid-30s, the youngest in a large family, and grew up without any kind of responsibilities.
So you've been dating her for seven years now, since she was in her mid to late 20s, when she should have been looking for a husband, if that is what she wants. Nice.
She's always misplacing and losing things -- watches, cameras, jewelry, etc. Her mail goes unopened and her bills get paid late even though she has plenty of money.
You should have noticed all of this fairly early on, and realized this was not a match for you.
Maddy thinks I'm "controlling" because I get frustrated when we have to be somewhere at a specified time and she's always late.
Uh huh…
I have planned entire weekends with dinner reservations and events scheduled and let her know what time we need to leave. When the time comes, she's not even packed yet. Worse, she can't understand my irritation. Is this relationship worth saving -- or my sanity?
You should have ended this a long time ago. You don't want a lifetime of this.
My guess is that this guy thought she would get better as she matured – perhaps he thought it was “cute” at first. Or, it is possible that he simply wants to trade her in for a younger model (notice, we don't have his age, though he mentions hers) and this is his excuse. He was able to tolerate this stuff because she was younger and hotter and good in bed. But now she's well out of her 20s* and she's probably getting complacent and dropping things out of her sexual arsenal... probably getting less and less enthusiastic and taking more and more effort on his part to get her to climax. Dumping her means he gets to go on the hunt again, experience a new, younger body, and have that New Relationship Energy again.
*If you’ve read some of my better past entries, you know I enjoyed the company of women of various ages, including into their 40s and 50s when I was in my 20s. But many men, especially in Category 4, see 30 as the "expiration date" when it comes to women. For them, it is downhill from there. And now that she's in her mid-30s, her options are dropping away.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Ah, Malaysia
A group of women in Malaysia is making headlines because the group has said women should give it to their husbands good, and let him run the show. Associated Press writer Eileen Ng reports.
Well, yes, unless her husband is a complete idiot. My wife obeys me. And guess what? I obey her, too. We don't treat each other like children.
Well, it would certainly cut down on the number of men seeking divorce. In the USA, women are far more likely to file. As far as prostitution, There are some married men who go to hookers because the wife will not meet a reasonable sexual request. However, there are plenty of men who go to hookers for other reasons, such as not being married and lacking game, having a fetish for hookers, or having some sort of fetish that is difficult to fulfill in with an "unpaid" partner, etc.
I'm sure there are Muslim women (and men, for that matter) who swear up and down that this is false.
I'm still not seeing what is so bad. Well, except for the fringe Islamic thing.
Ah. But are they touting one husband-multiple wives polygamy with this particular program? And have they written in to Dear Abby?
Oh yeah, right. Asians never ever talk about sex. Right.
Whores charge.
Okay, well, wives who earn less than their husbands, which is most, are paid through community property laws within marital law. So, I suppose the argument can be made that a husband is already paying up. But is that true in Malaysia?
Marital lovemaking is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. A wife should not think of it in literal prostitution terms, and neither should her husband. But if you want to use "whore" in the nonliteral sense, then I getchya.
Again, let's be clear. Husband should not stray. However, it is more understandable that a husband will stray if his wife rejects him. After all, if you’re hungry, do you simply not eat if the kitchen is bare? No, you go out and get some food. Wives do have the power to keep their otherwise good husbands from falling to temptation. If the guy is messed up, he's going to cheat regardless. And he may marry a Kennedy.
I would never go that far.
Some of the upheaval in this world, after all, is caused by women being catty towards each other.
Okay, so I kid. But women really do have more power than men, especially when men choose not to control everything through brute strength. That is because men will only do what we can get away with and still get women to have sex with us and make us dinner.
As a new bride, 22-year-old Ummu Atirah believes she knows the secret to a blissful marriage: obey her husband and ensure he is sexually satisfied.
Well, yes, unless her husband is a complete idiot. My wife obeys me. And guess what? I obey her, too. We don't treat each other like children.
Ummu and some 800 other Muslim women in Malaysia are members of the "Obedient Wives Club" that is generating controversy in one of the most modern and progressive Muslim-majority nations, where many Muslim Malaysian women hold high posts in the government and corporate world.
The new club, launched Saturday, says it can cure social ills such as prostitution and divorce by teaching women to be submissive and keep their men happy in the bedroom.
Well, it would certainly cut down on the number of men seeking divorce. In the USA, women are far more likely to file. As far as prostitution, There are some married men who go to hookers because the wife will not meet a reasonable sexual request. However, there are plenty of men who go to hookers for other reasons, such as not being married and lacking game, having a fetish for hookers, or having some sort of fetish that is difficult to fulfill in with an "unpaid" partner, etc.
"Islam compels us to be obedient to our husband. Whatever he says, I must follow. It is a sin if I don't obey and make him happy," said Ummu, who wore a yellow headscarf.
I'm sure there are Muslim women (and men, for that matter) who swear up and down that this is false.
The club, founded by a fringe Islamic group known as Global Ikhwan, has been dismissed by politicians and activists as a throwback to Medieval times and an insult to modern women of Malaysia.
I'm still not seeing what is so bad. Well, except for the fringe Islamic thing.
But the group's activities, which previously included the setting up of a Polygamy Club, show that pockets of conservative Islamic ideas still thrive in Malaysia.
Ah. But are they touting one husband-multiple wives polygamy with this particular program? And have they written in to Dear Abby?
Despite the group's conservative Islamic background, Rohayah Mohamad, one of the founders of the club, openly talks about the virtues of marital sex even though most of her colleagues are shy about the topic.
"Sex is a taboo in Asian society."
Oh yeah, right. Asians never ever talk about sex. Right.
"We have ignored it in our marriages but it's all down to sex. A good wife is a good sex worker to her husband. What is wrong with being a whore ... to your husband?" she said.
Whores charge.
Okay, well, wives who earn less than their husbands, which is most, are paid through community property laws within marital law. So, I suppose the argument can be made that a husband is already paying up. But is that true in Malaysia?
Marital lovemaking is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. A wife should not think of it in literal prostitution terms, and neither should her husband. But if you want to use "whore" in the nonliteral sense, then I getchya.
She said wives must go beyond the traditional roles as good cooks or good mothers and learn to "obey, serve and entertain" their husbands to prevent them from straying or misbehaving.
Again, let's be clear. Husband should not stray. However, it is more understandable that a husband will stray if his wife rejects him. After all, if you’re hungry, do you simply not eat if the kitchen is bare? No, you go out and get some food. Wives do have the power to keep their otherwise good husbands from falling to temptation. If the guy is messed up, he's going to cheat regardless. And he may marry a Kennedy.
Indirectly, "disobedient wives are the cause for upheaval in this world" because men are not happy at home and their minds and souls are disturbed, she said.
I would never go that far.
Some of the upheaval in this world, after all, is caused by women being catty towards each other.
Okay, so I kid. But women really do have more power than men, especially when men choose not to control everything through brute strength. That is because men will only do what we can get away with and still get women to have sex with us and make us dinner.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Part-Time Sister Wife?
NEEDS A BREAK IN PHOENIX wrote in to Dear Abby:
Sounds like life.
"Expects"?
Then quit your job. Marital lovemaking isn't supposed to be a chore. Be happy your husband, who is younger, still wants your 53-year-old body. This is yet another example of why some men avoid marriage.
Mavis could be having sex if she wants. She could be doing so with a new husband, or fornicating with a steady or different guys. It is her choice, really, although she's not going to have the best men to choose from. Maybe that is why she is trying to horn in on your man. Don't compound the problem by inviting her to commit adultery with your husband.
Don't. Either he'll like the idea, or be profoundly hurt or disgusted. Neither would be a good reaction.
Have you called the folks at TLC? They could film all of this. I'd recommend MTV, but you're over 25.
Dear Abby, who has no problem endorsing fornication as long as adultery isn't involved, gets all judgmental:
So? Sounds like she's not so happy in it and is breaking or wants to break the vows anyway. If she had instead written to you and said the truth another way – that she is unhappy with her husband and sexually incompatible, wouldn't you tell her to leave him anyway?
From what I understand, Franklin would know. Actually, given the wife's attitude and Mavis' "hunger", it would be easy for the husband to find Mavis to be a much better lover regardless of how she looks.
She didn't offer a solution. Sex isn't supposed to be a chore. How about dropping down to part-time work? Or hiring domestic help? Her husband probably does things around the house, too – notice she doesn't say he doesn’t lift a finger around the house. But he's not too tired for sex. Something tells me she wouldn't be too tired for sex with George Clooney.
Doesn't sound like they have minor children in the mix. Imagine if they did. That's the reality of so many married couples theses days. Both have full work schedules and they have minor children. Why? Often because women have been told they must have careers outside the home, and they wouldn't respect their husbands if their husbands didn’t also have careers. Or because people think they need bigger homes, more cars, more vacations, more toys. Or they are trying to save up to fork over money to some increasingly expensive and ever-worsening institutions of indoctrination, er, uh, higher learning.
Anyway, back to the idea of having another woman do some of the "heavy lifting". Be honest, ladies, if nobody else would find out and there wasn't a religious issue, do you think you'd consider something like this? Or maybe you'd be the one who'd want someone else (male or female) in addition to your hubby. Men can be deeply in love with and attracted to their wives, and still find other women strongly attractive. Given male sexual nature, I think most men would take on another woman if there wasn't a religious issue and if the wife would be agreeable. We have plenty of examples of men who do this even with the religious prohibition and even though it hurts their wives deeply.
I'm 53, work in an office six to eight hours a day, and then come home to cook dinner and do household chores.
Sounds like life.
My husband, "Todd," is 48. He works eight to 10 hours a day and expects sex three to four times a week.
"Expects"?
I'm exhausted and can't do it anymore!
Then quit your job. Marital lovemaking isn't supposed to be a chore. Be happy your husband, who is younger, still wants your 53-year-old body. This is yet another example of why some men avoid marriage.
My best friend, "Mavis," has been a widow for five years. She tells me she's going crazy because she hasn't had sex in all this time. She asked if I'd share Todd just one night a week.
Mavis could be having sex if she wants. She could be doing so with a new husband, or fornicating with a steady or different guys. It is her choice, really, although she's not going to have the best men to choose from. Maybe that is why she is trying to horn in on your man. Don't compound the problem by inviting her to commit adultery with your husband.
Mavis isn't pretty, but she has a very shapely figure. Frankly, I'm ready to agree, but I haven't mentioned it to Todd.
Don't. Either he'll like the idea, or be profoundly hurt or disgusted. Neither would be a good reaction.
If my husband agrees, it would take a lot of pressure off me and I could sure use the rest. What are your thoughts on this arrangement?
Have you called the folks at TLC? They could film all of this. I'd recommend MTV, but you're over 25.
Dear Abby, who has no problem endorsing fornication as long as adultery isn't involved, gets all judgmental:
Please find another way to take a break. What you're contemplating would likely be the beginning of the end of your marriage.
So? Sounds like she's not so happy in it and is breaking or wants to break the vows anyway. If she had instead written to you and said the truth another way – that she is unhappy with her husband and sexually incompatible, wouldn't you tell her to leave him anyway?
You may think you'd be "safe" because Mavis isn't pretty, but to quote Benjamin Franklin, "In the dark, all cats are gray."
From what I understand, Franklin would know. Actually, given the wife's attitude and Mavis' "hunger", it would be easy for the husband to find Mavis to be a much better lover regardless of how she looks.
If you're tired, let Mavis help with the chores -- but not this one.
She didn't offer a solution. Sex isn't supposed to be a chore. How about dropping down to part-time work? Or hiring domestic help? Her husband probably does things around the house, too – notice she doesn't say he doesn’t lift a finger around the house. But he's not too tired for sex. Something tells me she wouldn't be too tired for sex with George Clooney.
Doesn't sound like they have minor children in the mix. Imagine if they did. That's the reality of so many married couples theses days. Both have full work schedules and they have minor children. Why? Often because women have been told they must have careers outside the home, and they wouldn't respect their husbands if their husbands didn’t also have careers. Or because people think they need bigger homes, more cars, more vacations, more toys. Or they are trying to save up to fork over money to some increasingly expensive and ever-worsening institutions of indoctrination, er, uh, higher learning.
Anyway, back to the idea of having another woman do some of the "heavy lifting". Be honest, ladies, if nobody else would find out and there wasn't a religious issue, do you think you'd consider something like this? Or maybe you'd be the one who'd want someone else (male or female) in addition to your hubby. Men can be deeply in love with and attracted to their wives, and still find other women strongly attractive. Given male sexual nature, I think most men would take on another woman if there wasn't a religious issue and if the wife would be agreeable. We have plenty of examples of men who do this even with the religious prohibition and even though it hurts their wives deeply.
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