Don't Waste Your Life Arguing With a Woman

Guys, unless you're in constant pain and sitting around doing nothing, life is short. Very short. If you're young, it may not seem like it, but it really is.

You can minimize the amount of time you spend arguing with women by making some simple choices:

1) Do not have kids. Do not give women your sperm. Get a vasectomy. Even if you plan on being chaste, or you plan to use condoms, or whatever you're thinking. It would be best, for most of you, if you got a vasectomy and got it tested at least twice. If you think you want to have children, can you give an unselfish, rational explanation why? Children need a mother and father in a loving, happy, stable marriage, and, chances are, you can't provide that.

2) Do not live with a woman. There's no reason to live with a woman. Everything you think you can get from living with a woman, you can get otherwise, for less risk and usually less cost. Living with a woman is costly and very risky, and reduces your freedom significantly. Women shouldn't even know where you really live.

3) Do not marry. Obviously, if you're not going to live with a woman you shouldn't marry one.  What we now call marriage is one of the worst things a man can do to himself if he has his act together. When a man marries, he loses, to a woman, just about any power he has.

4) Keep dating minimal. I'm not necessarily talking about frequency, but rather how involved the dates themselves get. There are still women who'll date you even if they know you won't marry them and you won't have children. However, there's really no need to even get to the point of that discussion. If you really do want to date, you can date women for three-to-sixth months each, mostly, which is the best time for a guy in a relationship anyway. You can keep dating them after sixth months if they're willing; just don't give them the idea that you want them to move in or marry you or have your baby. As I said above, they shouldn't know where you live. All "dating" should either be at their place, or an overnight rental or, if need be, somewhere out. If she starts to argue, leave. You don't need that crap. Really, try to say as little as possible on a date. Encourage her to keep talking, because anything you say can and will be used against you. Use Google Voice or some similar service to prevent her having your real phone number. If she texts or calls you to argue or complain or make demands, block her.

5) Do not sign paperwork with women. You're not going to live with a woman, so there's no need to sign a lease or mortgage or deed with a woman; certainly not to help her out. No way! Likewise, never co-sign on a loan with woman, or any kind of lease, or any contract (see below regarding work contracts). Don't form businesses partnerships with women.

6) Avoid working with women. Granted, for some lines of work, working with women is unavoidable. But if you have your own small business, you can more easily avoid working with women. Be sure to get everything in writing so that if you have clients who are women, everything is clear. Avoid being alone with a woman. If you must work where women are, keep all interaction with them to the most minimal professionally possible.

There's no need to waste your time and energy arguing with a woman, or listening to a woman complain or nag. If you don't give a woman control over your life, if you don't give her access to your stuff, if you're willing to and able to walk away or tell her "If I'm so bad, you should leave right now. There's the door.", it's amazing how much less arguing there will be in your life.

Life is short. Don't waste it arguing with a woman. Enjoy your life. And don't argue with people about your choice not to argue with women. Simply refuse to continue the discussion. If "that's private and personal, and I'm not going to discuss it anymore" won't suffice, walk away, hang up, block, whatever you have to do.

You Might Not Find a Better Relationship

Most relationships are NOT "happily ever after". They end or experience significant misery. Not all relationships are anything close to ideal or healthy. Some are abusive.

That all being said, we should never promise someone they will find a better relationship if they leave the one they're in.

They might not.

Does Marriage Help Some People Delude Themselves?

On Monday, January 17, 2022, Dr. Laura opened her program with a prepared monologue. Back in the day, the text of this would have been on her website, perhaps in a blog, but apparently she or her staff or contractor have decided not to do that anymore.

 

But I am able to listen and type, so I did.

Dr. Laura addressed one of her pet topics: Shacking up vs. Marriage. At least this time, she acknowledged how prevalent and "normative" shacking up is.

"Shacking up does not compare to marriage."

That really depends. I like to say that shacking up is terrible; almost as bad as marriage.

She went on to cite the Census Bureau to point out that shacking up has increased for 25-34 year-olds (that's too bad), and marriage has declined for the same age group (yay!).

She mentioned people seeing shacking up as  "a step towards marriage or the equivalent".

For some, it IS s step towards marriage. Some of them won't marry someone they don't first shack up with. For some, it really is the equivalent of marriage, or the closest they will get to marriage. And yes, some others are mistaken when they see it as tied to marriage. Different people, different situations.

"Shotgun shacking up is overtaking shotgun marriage."

Is it though? For any given couple it might be either shotgun shacking up or the kid having two homes to visit from the very start. I'd prefer, in most cases, the kid have both parents there.

"This is shocking and horrendous for kids."

Not if the parents behave well. Getting legally married will not make terrible partners/parents better.

She went on to try to impress upon listeners "the relationship quality gap between shacking up and marriage."

1. Married adults are more likely than shacking up adults to report... satisfaction

 

Dear Abby Prints Letter Misusing The Word "Addiction"

BROKEN-HEARTED IN OREGON wrote to Dear Abby:

For the past three years I've been with a man I believe is the love of my life.

Your belief is probably delusional.

Early on, he admitted to a porn addiction that has plagued him his entire life and sabotaged past relationships.

That should have been your clue to run. Not because he has the NATURAL enjoyment of seeing depictions of erotic situations, but because he called it an addiction.

But you didn't run, did you? Of course not!

"I can HELP him! I have the magic vagina!!!"

With my support, he began his first real attempt at recovery, which included a team of mental health practitioners.

What a waste of resources. And what exactly was her support? Nagging? Did she pay for this team?

His progress over the past three years, while not linear, has been tremendous. He's an entirely different person.

Right. Because the problem wasn't porn. Excessive viewing, if it was excessive, was a symptom.

I would describe our relationship as 90% joyful, 10% agony (he has had four brief relapses, during which he has said incredibly hurtful things to me).

Pixels are not booze or LSD. Whatever he said to you was likely the truth about how he feels or thinks.

A week ago, he had a difficult relapse and ended our relationship.

Sounds like he has more sense than you.

His therapist feels he needs to be on his own to focus on recovery.

That's two votes.

While I am devastated, I agree.

Case closed, then, right???

But I can't understand why he's giving up on us forever and making big decisions like getting off the mortgage on the house we bought less than two years ago.

Because he never should have been on that mortgage and he doesn't want to be with you. NEVER take out a mortgage with someone else.

He swears it has nothing to do with me, and that if it weren't for this addiction, he would spend the rest of his life with me.

He's trying to let you down easy. He doesn't want to be with you.

If his plan is to live alone, be single or celibate, and focus on recovery, why wouldn't he also pause on major financial decisions?

Because his plan is to do other women without having to hide it from you.

Why is he so completely done when there is clearly hope for recovery and reconciliation?

What are YOU addicted to? It's clouding your brain.

Yet another example of how supposedly exclusive relationships don't work out.

Is It Now Irresponsible to Have Children?

I'm not talking about overpopulation or carbon emissions or any of that dung. I'm also not talking about the world being a scary place. It has always been a scary place to some extent, at least since The Fall, if you believe in that sort of thing. In many ways, life is actually a lot better than at any time in (fallen) human history.

I ask if it is now irresponsible to have children because we're apparently unable to raise children within intact homes, with decent mothers and fathers.

My parents had twice as many children as my wife and I do, my father was highly dedicated to his career, and yet I think I hit the jackpot as far as having a good father. I compare myself to him and I find myself lacking as a father. I never got the feeling my father didn't want to spend time with me. Granted, I was very good at entertaining myself. Maybe my memory is skewed but I think he was far more likely to seek me out for shared activities than I was to seek him out.

That has carried over to being an adult. I like being alone. Just about everything I want to do at home is solitary. I know my kids need attention and want to do things with me, and if they ask me to do something with them I almost always agree and drop whatever else I'm doing.  But other than trying to get one to go along with me on errands so as to make brawls less likely, I don't ever seek them out just to play or interact for the sake of it.

I certainly don't feel like a good father. I see what other dads, some of them my friends, are doing and I just don't have the energy, time, or real desire to do it.

So I think I never should have had kids in the first place, between who I am and the reality of who my wife is.

If any one of the following is true, it is irresponsible to have children: