You Can Still Get Together Even If Dishes Are Dirty

If a man complains about his wife sexually rejecting him, women and feminized guys will often chastise him and say it must be his fault:

He's not treating her right.
He's not romancing her.
He's not doing enough of the housework.
He's not jumping through the right hoops.


In some of the cases, that might be true, but it isn't in all or perhaps even most cases.

Women, your sisters (and perhaps your younger selves) have exposed you. Most of you don't need your husband to do anything different or better in order for you to keep your vows and engage in what is supposed to be a mutually enjoyable activity.

How do we know? We know from many different things. These are just a few.

1) Unmarried guys don't have to do anything, or much at all, to get many women, even strangers, to have have sex with them. Guys are regularly getting sex in three dates or less, spending less than a grand total of $120 over three dates.

2) Married guys can commit adultery with plenty of willing women who usually don't require those guys to jump through a lot of hoops.

3) Whether they've actually done it or not, most women can name for their girlfriends one or more male celebrities they'd have sex with if they could just be in the same place at the same time. These women don't really know those celebrities at all. They've never spent time with them. Those celebrities have not done their dishes. Those celebrities have not taken them to nice dinners.

So most of this "she must have a good reason for rejecting her husband" stuff is crap. It's a load of dung. It's applicable only in rare examples in which a guy has become unhygenic due to mental illness or has done something extremely disgusting and immoral (child abuse, for example). (And even then, while some women rightly stop having sex with men like that, there are plenty of women still willing to have sex with molesters and murderers.)

It seems to me that all I ever had to do in my wayward youth was show up. I never had a girlfriend reject me. In fact, they were always the ones to bring sex into the relationship in the first place. Yes, I dated them. I took them out. Nothing lavishly expensive. I was kind and sweet to my girlfriends. But not once did any of them ever reject me and point to me failing to jump through this hoop or that hoop as the reason why. As time went on, I found that I could be aloof, uncommitted, unreliable, and unhelpful and still get sex.

So it's dung, in a lot of cases, that a wife "needs" her husband to do something differently or do something more in order for her to have sex with him.



Absent a better explanation, men like me are left to conclude that you're using sex as a loss leader, and once you've got us signed into a contract that is to your benefit, especially after there are children, your motivation is gone. You know what this tells men? It tells men not to marry and not to have children. It's also your loss as well as his. Sex is a great gift that He has given to a husband and wife. With the right attitudes, it doesn't ever have to be dull or routine. It can be very satisfying - mutually, and an experience of joy and delight.

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Fessing Up

Well over a year ago, I wrote in this post about something I discerned from what little my wife's family told me just before I had to take her in for a psych hold a few years back and by paying close attention to what she and a family therapist did and did not say to each other in front of me. What I  had discerned is that she has been mentally ill on an ongoing basis, and, from time to time, very severe level, resulting in multiple suicide attempts and hospital stays.


I'd asked my wife about this and she continued to lie to me about it, denying her history.

Recently, while we met with with another family therapist, my wife, for the first time, explicitly recounted without details what I'd already discerned, dropping at least some of her lies.