Organizations of Which to Be Wary

Recently, a certain fraternal organization started within the last few years and its leader have been getting trashed online. I had been wary and a bit suspicious of the organization and its leader, even though he was saying many things with which I was agreeing. There were a few things he was saying and doing, and the tone he was taking, that made me suspicious. [This has been bumped up from January 2022. They are now supposedly offering a health care plan of sorts. What could go wrong?]

In no particular order, and subject to being revised and expanded, here are some signs you should be skeptical/cautious of joining or associating with an organization:

• The leader has a turnaround/redemption story that is relatively recent. "I was all mixed up until three years ago." Sincere and stable change is demonstrated over many years. If this person started the organization immediately or soon after their alleged turnaround, that's a red flag. Ideally, someone who has such a repentance will be mentored for years by mature leaders before they become the leader themselves.
  
  
• There is essentially one leader, and this leader is practically unaccountable. If it's one person, or a person and their spouse/lover, and maybe their family, and there is no "Board" with any amount of real independence from, or oversight of, the leader, watch out! Is there a term limit on the leadership, or any objective criteria for when they'd step down or step aside? Is anybody being mentored for possible succession other than a family member? Permanent, unaccountable leaders can be a red flag. Watch out for those who don't allow legitimate, unscripted questions from those who aren't sycophants, and do things like block such questioners or dissenters on social media.
  
  
• The leader changed his name. Pro wrestlers, porn performers, actors - they have an established legitimacy to using stage names. When someone else does it (we're not talking about a wife taking on a husband's surname), it's usually a bad sign. I've known multiple people for which this has been the case. They are egomaniacs and/or shady or outright fraudsters.
  
  
• The leader claims past persecution or a terrible childhood, especially if it can't be verified or you are discouraged from trying to corroborate their claims. They do this for sympathy, to excuse bad behavior, and to make people marvel at their supposed power to overcome. They might claim they experienced "persecution" over one thing when it was really something like being criticized/fired/prosecuted for serious criminal or unethical activity.
  
  
• The leader pleads for or demands grace or mercy or "a pass" they don't give to others. "Everyone makes mistakes," they might say, after a history of attacking others for making similar mistakes for which they are now exposed.
  

• The organization demands a significant contribution of money (especially), time, and/or effort upfront and/or on an ongoing basis, in exchange for mere "membership" and intangibles ("We will make you a better man..."), and once a member there are subsequent levels and/or intangibles ("Presentation on Gaining Confidence") for which you will be strongly encouraged to pay. They may be working on the "sunk costs" mentality, by which you feel obligated to buy into their dung even more because you've already bought into it, including financially.
  
  
• New/aspiring members are "interviewed" (interrogated) or otherwise encouraged to reveal their insecurities, vulnerabilities, mistakes, shortcomings, feelings of guilt and regret to people who can later use those to keep the person dependent on the organization or to retaliate against the person if they leave the organization.
  
  
• The leadership engages in, or encourages membership to engage in, criticism of any alternatives or seemingly similar organizations or movements. If both organizations claim to have the goal of X, and, as far as you can tell, the other organization's tactics aren't problematic, then it's red flag if the organization in question attacks that other organization or claims to be the only valid organization. If part of their sales pitch is essentially "It's us against the world" or "You can't trust anyone, but you can trust us," watch out!
  
  
• The leader repetitively says more people want to get into the organization than will be allowed at this time. "Everyone wants to be a member. We are very selective." They keep touting the growth of their membership (especially if it is paid) rather than externally and objectively verifiable accomplishments. They keep telling you, rather than showing you, how great they are.
  
  
• They say you need to hurry and sign up now. Organizations that are confident in their appeal and endurance don't need to pressure you with "Act now!!!"
  
  
• They frequently cite anonymous quotes/endorsements. "John says..." is anonymous. John who???
  
  
• The accomplishments they cite could have (and might have!) been achieved by the individuals without the organization's productive involvement.
  
  
• They encourage things that seem to go against their stated goals. Example: "We want men to lead" and "Men should sign a state contract that takes their power away."
  
  
• The organization separates you from family and friends who aren't in the organization or aren't supportive of it. Perhaps the organization itself boils down to you paying to have friends.
  

Any one of these can be a red flag. The more of them that seem to fit, the more reason to steer clear.

You will always need improvement. That's what friends are for. That's what introspection is for. That's what knowing thyself is for. And in my opinion, that's what following Christ is for.

As I was putting this list together, I couldn't help but notice that, in many cases, these are things what we now call marriage does, or what modern wives do. Just like I advise men to avoid what our laws and culture now call marriage, I'd advise men to stay clear of organizations like this.