Do not marry.
Do not have children.
...unless you have no purpose in your life and you really need drama, aggravation, your days filled with doing things for others that will often turn out to be complete wastes or received with not only a lack of gratitude, but complaining... AND you WANT to waste your money.
*****
UPDATE August 22, 2018: I first posted that, above, in April 2014. I am more certain than ever that most men should not marry (nor shack up), and since they should not marry, they should not have children.
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
Monday, August 06, 2018
She Digs Masculine Men
When I saw that today's Prager University video was going to be on masculinity, I braced for another video telling men that they should get married. We last addressed the Prager U videos doing that in this entry.
Let's look at the transcript they provided. (If you want to comment on the video, you can do so on YouTube in addition to commenting below.)
Let's look at the transcript they provided. (If you want to comment on the video, you can do so on YouTube in addition to commenting below.)
Rape, murder, war—they all have one thing in common: Men.Taken by itself, this sentence ignores that women rape and women murder. And why does war happen? Sure, territory, resources, power... but why do the men engaged in war want those things? Quite often, a large part of it has to do with women. Women are attracted to men with money, power, and fame. War is one way men get those things.
Aggression, violence, ambition unchecked by conscience—all the stuff of “toxic masculinity,” right?
And, the solution is obvious: make men less toxic.
Make men less masculine.
Make men more like women.
But I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking is not only wrong, it’s dangerous.Good.
Here’s why: When you try to make men more like women, you don’t get less “toxic masculinity,” you get more.
Why? Because bad men don’t become good when they stop being men; they become good when they stop being bad.Still good.
Aggression, violence, and unbridled ambition can’t be eliminated from the male psyche; they can only be harnessed. And when they are harnessed, they are tools for good, not for harm.
The same masculine traits that bring destruction also defeat tyranny. The traits that foster greed also build economies. The traits that drive men to take foolish risks also drive men to take heroic risks.
The answer to toxic masculinity isn’t less masculinity; it’s better masculinity. And we know what that looks like.Still good.
It’s a young man opening the door for a girl on their first date. It’s a father working long hours to provide for his family.Sigh. I just knew that was coming!
Saturday, August 04, 2018
Guest Post: What Makes a Marriage Work
Someone identified as...
...has been leaving thoughtful comments here on this blog.
One such comment was after this blog's most popular entry, which has literally hundreds of comments, so it was easy to miss. So, I offered to post it as an entry. I want to make it clear that these are the opinions of Lois E Brenneman, not my opinions.
= = = = =
The key to a successful relationship - whether marriage, cohabitation or simply dating - is integrity
1. Don’t expect more from someone than what you are willing to give to them
2. Be clear and honest about what you are willing to do and what you expect from the other individual - no “hidden agendas”
3. Look for fairness and equity when resolving disputes. Don’t look for solutions which benefit only yourself at the expense of the other person.
4. Strive for a relationship where both individuals benefit from being associated with one another - try to create dynamics where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
5. Don’t expect perfection from your partner and realize you have your own set of flaws. Life is not a bed of roses - there will be ups and downs. Try to meet the other person’s needs to the best of your abilities - don’t only look out for your own needs.
There is no “magic formula” or written in stone “set of rules.” They key is to conduct yourself with integrity and expect integrity from your partner. Whether someone is a single mother or otherwise is not significant. The relevant factor is how you both conduct yourselves within the context of the relationship. I have been married for 25 years and it is a solid, healthy marriage. It is not all hearts and flowers and there have been good times and bad times. We are there for each other when the need arises. I was never looking for someone to take care of me. Rather, I was looking for a partner in life and, in return, I strive to be the best partner I can be with respect to my husband. I try to accommodate what is important to him. He has been there for me when I have needed him.
The most important factor leading to the success of any relationship is to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own (within reason, of course). When both parties do so, the relationship works. When it comes to dating and/or marriage, integrity matters above all else. If you are only seeking to have your own needs met - without regard to how doing so impacts the other person - the relationship will fall apart - guaranteed. It is but a matter of time.
= = = = =
There you have it.
Lois E Brenneman, MSN, FNP
...has been leaving thoughtful comments here on this blog.
One such comment was after this blog's most popular entry, which has literally hundreds of comments, so it was easy to miss. So, I offered to post it as an entry. I want to make it clear that these are the opinions of Lois E Brenneman, not my opinions.
= = = = =
The key to a successful relationship - whether marriage, cohabitation or simply dating - is integrity
1. Don’t expect more from someone than what you are willing to give to them
2. Be clear and honest about what you are willing to do and what you expect from the other individual - no “hidden agendas”
3. Look for fairness and equity when resolving disputes. Don’t look for solutions which benefit only yourself at the expense of the other person.
4. Strive for a relationship where both individuals benefit from being associated with one another - try to create dynamics where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
5. Don’t expect perfection from your partner and realize you have your own set of flaws. Life is not a bed of roses - there will be ups and downs. Try to meet the other person’s needs to the best of your abilities - don’t only look out for your own needs.
There is no “magic formula” or written in stone “set of rules.” They key is to conduct yourself with integrity and expect integrity from your partner. Whether someone is a single mother or otherwise is not significant. The relevant factor is how you both conduct yourselves within the context of the relationship. I have been married for 25 years and it is a solid, healthy marriage. It is not all hearts and flowers and there have been good times and bad times. We are there for each other when the need arises. I was never looking for someone to take care of me. Rather, I was looking for a partner in life and, in return, I strive to be the best partner I can be with respect to my husband. I try to accommodate what is important to him. He has been there for me when I have needed him.
The most important factor leading to the success of any relationship is to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own (within reason, of course). When both parties do so, the relationship works. When it comes to dating and/or marriage, integrity matters above all else. If you are only seeking to have your own needs met - without regard to how doing so impacts the other person - the relationship will fall apart - guaranteed. It is but a matter of time.
= = = = =
There you have it.
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