Friday, October 19, 2018

Don't Date Single Mothers - Here is Why

[This is this blog's most popular post. I think it holds up well and is highly relevant in today's world. PLEASE NOTE: If you want to comment, do so here because this entry already had hundreds of comments.]

Not of all of these reasons apply to everyone. Some men are dating for sex, others are dating for marriage and sex, for example. Also, “single mother” can mean different things*.

Men, especially men with game, have a choice in women. Some women have children, some don’t. Unless you’re a pedophile, it is extremely unlikely that a woman with a child has anything to offer that’s of benefit to you that a woman without a child lacks. Conversely, here are the downsides of dating a single mother, in no particular order:

1) The kid(s) will always come first for her, and that’s the way it should be. A woman without a child has much more freedom to be available for you. An unmarried mother should put her child(ren) first. The child is already dealing with not having a mother and father married to each other and living together, and needs parental attention. That child does not need to compete with you, and you don’t need to compete with that child. Even if you were to marry her, the child(ren) will always come first, whereas being with a childless woman means YOU come first. Having children in the mix complicates EVERYTHING!

2) Most relationships end. So you’d bond with her children and then you (and the children) would have to endure the pain of losing or restricting that bond with each other. That’s bad enough for you, but you should not be a party to putting a child through that.

3) Being around the child(ren) exposes you to false charges of abuse. If the child likes you, if you’re nice to the child, that’s no insurance against false accusations. It probably makes you MORE of a target. These children are more likely to have mental and emotional problems. Social workers know that children in these situations are more likely to be abused by their mother’s lovers, so they’ll be more likely to believe you are a culprit. Even if you are ultimately cleared of false accusations, the mere accusation can ruin your life. This reason alone should eliminate single mothers from your consideration.

4) You WILL have to pay more than if you date a childless woman. First it will start off with having to pay for babysitters, and then she will want to have “dates” on which the child(ren) will come along. So not only will you not be getting sex, but you’re going to have to hang out at Chuck E. Cheese’s AND pay for the child’s meals and entertainment. Depending on what is happening with the child’s biological father, how much time the child spends around you, paying for the child, and buying gifts for the child (think birthdays, Christmas, etc.), you can end up getting tagged for child support. All it takes is some judge or government official picking YOU to pay for the child’s needs rather than taxpayers. Finally, if you marry her, you will DEFINITELY be paying more.

5) A woman who has given birth can’t ever have a body close to what she had before carrying a child. This is not saying that having a child isn’t worth it, but this is not about YOU having a child. That child is hers, not yours. Her body was changed by something that is of no benefit to you.

6) You don’t want to be a father. She has demonstrated already that she doesn’t know how to effectively use contraception OR otherwise doesn’t make good choices because she made children with the wrong guy (most likely)*, and has demonstrated that she WANTS to be a mother as she kept the child. Once a woman is a mother, she is less reluctant to avoid pregnancy. She may WANT her child(ren) to have a sibling, and you don’t want to end up being Daddy. It doesn’t matter what she says as far as “I don’t want another child” or “I can’t get pregnant” or “I’m using contraception” or “I wouldn’t ask anything of you.” Women lie or change their minds about this sort of thing all of time**, and even if she doesn’t, a court can make you be Daddy, financially anyway.

7) You don’t want to be divorced. Especially since women are more likely to file for divorce, marrying a divorced woman means you are more likely to end up divorced from her. Second marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriage. Marrying a woman with minor children gives you about a 70% chance of getting divorced. And that's legal divorce. Some people stay legally married, but miserable.

8) You don’t want to deal with the child’s father. Even if you’re just dating her and don’t want to get married, if the father(s) of the child(ren) is/are in the picture, that is likely going to be even more of a hassle for you. Even if a biodad isn't in the picture right now, he can always resurface and wreak havoc unless he's dead.

As you can see, whether you’re just looking for sex or you actually do want to get married (= legally obligating yourself to give at least half of everything you’ll ever earn to a woman, being held legally/financially responsible for any children she births during the marriage whether they are yours or not), you should avoid single mothers. This is written to protect men (and, somewhat, children). None of this is to say single mothers are bad people and certainly not to say all women do the things I listed. Some do, and men should protect themselves.

*Women are “single mothers” for different reasons. While the term should be reserved for never-married mothers, it can also refer to divorced mothers and widowed mothers. Unless she was widowed because her husband was killed through no fault of his own (as opposed to guys who committed suicide, or had unhealthy lives, or were involved in crime), she picked the wrong man and/or treated him like crap. A few single mothers used a sperm donor, and those women think men are not important. [SINCE I HAVE RECEIVED MULTIPLE COMMENTS ON THIS, please see what I wrote here about WIDOWED MOTHERS.]

**Never trust a woman’s claims she can’t/doesn’t want to get pregnant (unless, of course, you WANT to have children with her). Assume she is fertile and will want to have a baby.

[This entry gets a lot of traffic, relative to my other entries. It must resonate with someone. PLEASE NOTE: If you want to comment, do so here because this entry already had hundreds of comments.]

Here's how to exit a relationship with a single mother if you're already in one.


  1. Anonymous6:12 PM

    So, don't take this as snarkiness because I am totally serious and really want to know, but do you view wives/girlfriends as anything other than what you are or are not going to get out of them sexually? I haven't read every post in your blog but most of what I have read seems to indicate that you feel that sex is pretty much the only purpose of a female? FYI: women can totally tell when the man doesn't really like them for who they are and just wants to boink them. Sometimes this doesn't matter, such as in a casual relationship, but in a marriage, no wife wants to boink the husband that is irritated at her yet still wants to have sex.

    1. Men seek women for more than sex. if a man just wants sex, he won't marry the woman.

      and really that card is so old. is that the only false trump card women have? "You just want women for sex"? Women want men for money, security, resources...What do you expect to happen in this exchange? the man wants to spread his seed (at least in days is very different.) why would he want to deal with some used up liability with children from another man? why should the man give the woman and her bastard children anything if she is not willing to contribute?

      and no, a woman's use is not just sex. maybe today it is, i have yet to meet a single white woman that will cook for a man without feeling offended when not paid an hourly rate to do it. doing traditional housework is seen as "sexist" what do women have to offer?...

  2. Anon, I look the totality of women, not just their sexuality, but I am writing from a male perspective to males. Sex becomes a whole lot more important when someone who has vowed to give herself to you is withholding (especially when you are fulfilling YOUR end of the deal) or when it is being used as a loss leader or some other manipulation.

  3. Anonymous8:40 PM

    The male perspective is interesting so I hope you don't mind if you have a female reading it and offering you an unsolicited female perspective. :-) I don't think a lot of men know what their end of the deal really is. A huge part of it is making their wife feel valued for who they are as a human being. If a female feels like the marriage is nothing but a business contract, the sexy feelings go away quick. Most people don't get horny about contract fulfillment.

    1. Anonymous3:08 PM

      Exactly! I'm a single mom, chose the wrong guy, we were engaged, he broke up shortly after the birth, but now I'm supposed to feel like damaged goods and that he's somehow a hero...?

    2. Yep. You are damaged goods my dear.

    3. Angela9:30 PM

      Tony did you fall of the short bus? Yep. You did. Go lick some more windows.

    4. Anonymous10:14 AM

      Anonymous (Of course you are): Our "end of the deal" is not in the best interest of any self-respecting man. We are not responsible for making you feel valued as a human...that is your deal. You need to make yourself happy and know yourself. People do need to treat each other well, but respect and value is EARNED, not "deserved" because you popped out a few babies because of a drunk night at a party 9 months back. You're putting on the typical victim outfit, and putting all of this responsibility on men who shouldn't and have no reason to be interested in you or any single mom. Your own lot in life is your own fault, and you are what you are: Damaged goods, and don't give me this "damaged goods" shaming shit...own up to your own mistakes and realize that any single parent (man or woman) are not attractive. Most men don't get horny about contract fulfillment, IE: single moms.

    5. Anonymous8:00 AM

      Hold up, I think any self respecting man would never come near this blog. I think it's misogynistic and most men on here have probably never had a real relationshio let alone a healthy one. Anonymous you are not damaged goods. You will find someone. And don't buy into this bs. These men are all losers who couldn't even get a real date.

    6. Anonymous8:42 AM

      Nope, she is totally damaged goods. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. MGTOW

    7. Anonymous6:04 PM

      You have to realize O.P.
      You are more trouble than your worth. You make bad choices. The guys that would shack up with you are either desperate, or stupid. Is that really what you want?
      I don't think your guy is a hero though. He is part of the problem. Both of u messed up your child's life through of your dumb decisions. It's too bad too. This child will probably perpetuate the cycle as well.
      I have plenty of respect for myself thank you which is why I stear very clear from dumb broads with bastard children.

    8. You are absolutely damaged goods. Your attitude is angry to. No smart man would engage with you other than for a f***

      You are seem to be stupid enough not to have noticed before birth that your guy was a drop kick who would leave you. How blind can someone be?

      And no - I am not a loser who can't get dates :) I am in a healthy relationship with a woman who has not f*** up her life like you did.

    9. You are so absolutely damaged goods with a angry attitude because you know it :)

    10. Anonymous4:55 PM

      If a guy honestly likes the girl but has nooooooooooooooo motive to be a step father just casual dating eventually comes right? (If not wtf are we girlfriends that talk) but eventually she will want you to meet her children and when you tell her no that's not what your ready for or want then your a no good scumbag that just wants sex smh ...can't deny it because the shit happened to me dammit and I'm not a jerk or asshole

    11. Lol, these comments are proceless from the female perspective.. Single moms depend (in general) on one of two things, tax dollars or child support... then marry again for another separate income flow from beta bux idiot. Whether they married wealthy and rely on child support or married poor and rely on state tax paying dollars, they are leeches.

    12. Anonymous2:09 AM

      Definitely damaged goods.

  4. I completely agree. (And feedback is always welcome, so thanks.)

    A contract is what it comes down to in a court of law when there is a divorce. If women marry for "security" and men marry for "sex", a court may deal with one, but not the other. So men lose.

    There are many men out there who have busted their rears trying to romance a wife and give her a feeling of love, security, and appreciation, who are rejected, because these women know, whether it is in the back of their minds or the front of their minds, that they don't have to do squat anymore and a court will still make the man pay up.

    This is getting off track, however. The posting was about why men should not date single mothers. If anyone disagrees with any of the reasons provided, I especially welcome those comments (and stories from guys who have lived through this.)

    1. Anonymous7:36 AM

      I am a single mom, a professional, stable work from home single mom. I can provide a lucky man security, a loving home and peace. I have a lot more maturity, experience and patience to understand what a man needs and how he should be treated. I never asked a penny of child support from my ex. And I don't expect another man to spend money on my kid or on me. I am not a prostitute to sell my body for money. I am willing to give my hear and soul to a man who appreciate my hard work, responsibility and caring nature.

      At the end of the day, I think no self respecting single mother should even consider dating soulless men like you.

    2. Anonymous, you can say anything you want to. Plenty of women, especially single mothers, have said all sorts of things... before the contract has been signed, or before the pregnancy.

    3. Anonymous9:24 AM

      Damn it, I wish I could find a woman like you. You had me at "a loving home and peace.".

    4. Anonymous2:11 AM

      Anonymous, if you were so responsible and caring, why are you a single mother?

  5. Anonymous2:52 PM

    i know you have a disclaimer that your items don't all apply to every woman, however the sum total of your article is to avoid single mothers, so i am answering all of the points.

    Unless you’re a pedophile...

    **If a man is looking for a woman for her “services” - cleaning, cooking, and of course, sex, then yes perhaps this is true. However, if he is looking for an actual relationship, than how can he know this is true?

    1) The kid(s) will always come first for her, and that’s the way it should be.
    Once a man marries a woman and she has his kids, those kids will still come first. So, the man will eventually no longer be first anyway. Furthermore, a mature man shouldn’t demand, expect or even allow himself to come first. Particularly, if he is wanting to live according to Scripture – he is supposed to give of himself as Christ gave of himself for the church.

    2) Most relationships end.
    Children should not be introduced to the potential step-parent until the relationship is serious, and a bond really shouldn’t be encouraged at all unless marriage is certain. As far as all relationships ending, why even have biological children because they may have to go through some turmoil when the relationship with their mother inevitably breaks down?

    3) Being around the child(ren) exposes you to false charges of abuse.
    There are decent women with children without mental issues. The MAJORITY of them fall in this category. Intact homes can produce children with these issues as well. Even not being a parent, step or otherwise, cannot 100% eliminate this possibility. So, in order to be 100% guaranteed of this not happening, one should probably never leave the house. Or at the very least, never be around children – don’t be a teacher, doctor, bus driver, etc. or go to these type of places. Don’t ride the bus, go to the doctor, etc. Don’t use the bathroom at mcdonald’s without a witness because someone might make something up.

    4) You WILL have to pay more than if you date a childless woman. Not all women are deadbeats expecting a man to support them and their kids. I would never allow a boyfriend to pay for my babysitter.

    5) A woman who has given birth can’t ever have a body close to what she had before carrying a child.
    So what? Are you marrying a body or a soul? If you are marrying a body, you are doomed to disappointment as the aging process progresses.

    6) You don’t want to be a father.

    1. You don’t want to be a father? - get a vasectomy.
    2. Perhaps the woman was misled prior to marriage about what kind of person the man was? Look at the woman’s characteristics to determine was she fooled or was she stupid. Also, even if she was stupid in the she stupid now? Plenty of people are stupid at age 20 and are much smarter 10-20 years later.
    3. Kids are wonderful. And a lot of work. Not all women want a million kids. There comes a point where she is done.
    4. Why marry someone you can’t trust?

    7) You don’t want to be divorced.
    True – but people don’t get married with the intent of being divorced. Divorce sucks, I don’t care how much child support she gets out of it, if any. The man has to be doing something to contribute to, or even cause, the divorce.

    8) You don’t want to deal with the child’s father.
    Maybe so, maybe not. Depends on each individual party to the circumstance. Besides, even if the ex-husband is a rat, a real man should be able to handle him.

    Re: financial obligation:

    These days, women work and contribute at least equally if not more to the household. If a woman works and earns 50% of the money, she should get 50% of the stuff in a split.

    *Women are “single mothers” for different reasons.
    Again, perhaps the man misrepresented himself prior to the marriage/having kids.

    **Never trust a woman’s claims she can’t/doesn’t want to get pregnant
    Get a vasectomy.

    1. You are completely wrong on everything you obviously use guys. Read your bible or completely ignore it like you are doing now.

  6. Anonymous8:41 PM

    Many of the whores I knew from high school & college ended being single moms. Granted not all single moms are whores, but ALOT of them are (especially the young ones). If that's not enough proof to avoid single moms, then I don't know what is!

    Personally I don't single moms because I'm a single man with no kids,who prefers women without the extra luggage

  7. Anonymous5:48 PM

    GREAT post!

  8. Dont quote Christianity when you are surely not a christian.

  9. dallasmarie, to whom is that directed? I'm a follower of Christ myself. But I don't know anyone else's heart. Do you?

  10. Anonymous2:47 AM

    Currently got a single mother coming on to me. I'm not interested because I don't want kids & I don't want somebody else's sloppy seconds.

    Single mothers mostly made their choice - why should I go into a "partnership" where I'm close to the last priority in their life.

    And before the whiners come out - I've been there & done that. Whilst this blog & others may seem extreme to the inexperienced, there's more than a grain of truth to them.

    Avoid single mothers like the plague & if you don't want a life full of commitments (prison sentence) tell your new partner this.

    Real men don't scrape the bottom of the barrel.

  11. Anonymous1:03 PM

    I disagree with your number 4 reason. Personally, I would not mind spending more money on a woman. I just would not - NEVER EVER - date a single mom.

    My own story:

    When I first met my girlfriend, she was single but living with her sister. Her sister is a single mom with a little boy. The single sister (i.e., the one without kids, who's actually the older sister) was babysitting her little nephew the first time I met her. I assumed the kid belong to her. I felt she was absolutely gorgeous without any makeup on, but I wrote her off because my rule was, NO SINGLE MOMS.

    Soon afterward, I met her again with her nephew. Then I overheard her talking to the little boy and referring to herself as the "aunt". That was when I realized she was the aunt, not the mother. That was when I started pursuing her.

    At first, she tried to set me up with her younger sister, (i.e., the single mother.) Twice I asked the older sister out. She showed up with her sister and nephew, and then excused herself and her nephew. The second time it became obvious that she was trying to set me up with her single-mom sister.

    After our second "date", I told her, "hey, I am not interested in your sister. I am interested in YOU." (I did not tell her that I would never date a single mom; it would have been unwise to say that or bash single mothers in front of her.) Then I tried to date her again - without her sister or nephew - without much success.

    The problem: she was spending all of her personal free time to babysit her nephew. That actually became one of her qualities I like about her: she is willing to make personal sacrifices for her family. So I suggested that she could bring her nephew along on our dates. Which she did.

    During our dates, I bonded with the little boy. I spent quite a bit of money on the little boy on our dates. I have no complaint. I actually observed that she is a caring person and will make a great mother someday.

    But I still would not date a single mom.

    So you see, I have no problem with spending money on children. I just do NOT want a single mother. And that's that.

    1. Anonymous6:51 PM

      So you would totally date a girl who is Not a mother but will attend the date with the nephew and spend money on the child even if it's not yours? Do you know how pathetic you are?

      All the men on this post, are weak minded immature men. They don't know what it's like to have responsibility and it's men like you that make the angry single mothers that you unasbashedly shame. You are hypocritical slugs, and you are too blind to see you are part of this cycle that you shame. Fuck yourselves. This is the most brick-headed bunch of unevolved and unexpansive male minds I have ever seen.

      Damaged goods? Lol
      Try looking at it like we are queens who have wisdom far beyond what you can perceive that pull no punches but take no shit.

      Come correct. Not like we would ever want men like you anyway 😂

    2. Anonymous5:58 PM

      0% chance that you arent a bitter 200+ pounds single mom

    3. So a guy that won't spend his hard-earned money on another guy's kid for maybe the next 18 years or more, and who'd prefer to date a childless single woman is pathetic, immature, unevolved slug... but, a woman that makes terrible life choices and chooses to have a kid without a dad is a "queen" who's "full of wisdom?!" Who's the hypocrite here? Good job! You just perfectly illustrated the mentality of so many single moms, and why they should be avoided like a bad disease.

    4. NEWSFLASH!!

      As a single man would I rather date single woman with kids or without kids? last single mom I tried to date wanted me to wait a week. Granted she wasn't that interested but why the hell would I wait a week for a date when I Can meet a woman who is willing to meet me tonight?

    5. Anonymous2:13 AM

      Spending money on another man's child. You were cuckolded. Don't make it a habit.

  12. Anonymous9:27 AM

    I'm a woman in my 30s, highly educated & successful, and have never had a desire for children. I totally agree with the author's points. It's sad that too many women can't take responsibility for their bad decisions. These single mothers then blame it on the guy they were with or some other bogus excuse. As shown in the lengthy comment above from the single mom, there is a lack of accountability on her part. But then she expects a single guy without kids to accept her and her bad choices. Sorry single moms, but single women like myself without kids will win out every time over you.

    And it goes for both sees without kids; I will not date men with kids. Not to be blunt, but people without kids don't need tthe baggage.

    1. Anonymous10:18 AM

      I think it's so sad that a highly educated women would be so demeaning to other women. I am 35 year old physical therapist and a single mother who owns her own home. I wasn't Wong when I got married or had my children I was almost thirty. Its just sad there is so much negativity. Some of us never thought we would be here and sometime divorce just happens life happens. The worst part is that I am sure that at least 1/3 of the people replying are a product of a strong single mother. So keep talking smack about your mom's aunt's sisters and cousins. Because I am pretty sure that they never thought they would have to do it all alone. So as a women I am disappointed that a never women would look down on any other women going through something so heart wrenching. Cuz that what divorce is heart wrenching. So I hope when you meet the man of your dreams you stick to your guns and don't have kids so that way if he does ever leave you the only hear you have to heal is your not little ones :)

    2. Anonymous (Uneducated Girl)

      Let me start by assuring you, "You will not win out every time". Your comment did make me giggle though. You have obviously traded children for "awesome nights blogging" and Web searching small dogs that will fit in your knock off bag. I am sorry that no one wants to have a baby with you and settle down and it has made you bitter. Also, just a quick lesson on pregnancy, surprisingly it takes a man and a woman. Shock and awe I know! Children are not "bad decisions" and I believe there would need to be two people held accountable? Just a thought. Good luck with your future relationshipso - he will leave you for a single mom that is just a better person. Happy blogging :) WHAT AN IDIOT!

    3. I can tell your a single black woman

    4. Hahahahahah lmao

    5. Anonymous2:15 AM

      Single woman with no kids. Yes, you win.

  13. Anonymous12:50 AM

    I recently had a single mother stalking me.... always popping up unexpectedly. It all started as normal random conversation. She was kinda cute. She mentioned some of her interests, I mentioned mine. Over the weeks, the moaning started. Her ex always at her front door, the childcare, the DIY, the bills, the lack of time, the ex mother in law, the cleaning, the cooking blah blah blah.

    I told her I didn't care.

    That was a few weeks ago.... i've not seen her since.

    I don't recall her asking about my life.

    1. Anonymous10:18 AM

      Haha! Just as one would expect. I know about 5 women around my age. Maybe 2 of them in the last year have asked me: "How are you doing?"...twice. Other than that, it's all about her and her gloom and doom. No thanks, I'll pass.

    2. Anonymous7:13 PM

      I'm sure she would have asked you if she cared. Probably didn't - like you. Sounds like a good match!

    3. Go back and reread what he said, he showed initial interest and when they talked, she advertised all the non attractive things about a potential partner. Not once did she show any personal interest about his life. Now tell me, why would anyone in their right mind (man or woman) want to care or date a person who shows nothing but hassle and little top no interest about them? Certainly not him or me that's for sure.

    4. It's a matter of common sense, they talked, he said she was cute, she got his attention, then promptly laid out her dirty laundry of her life and complained about how bad it was. Then promptly showed zero interest in his personal life. Who in their right mind, man or woman, would want to date a person like that?! Certainly not me.

    5. Go back and reread what he said, he showed initial interest and when they talked, she advertised all the non attractive things about a potential partner. Not once did she show any personal interest about his life. Now tell me, why would anyone in their right mind (man or woman) want to care or date a person who shows nothing but hassle and little top no interest about them? Certainly not him or me that's for sure.

  14. Anonymous12:09 AM

    I'm male 48 & have some observations

    1. The 50/50 rule - the best relationships I've had have been where the woman has insisted on paying her half of the relationship be it financially, physically or emotionally.

    2. When I was young & naive, I dated a single mother for 6 months. Great at first me thinking what kind of idiot would give this person up - then as per the author's accurate observation points, the negatives crept in. We finished. History shows she now has 4 kids to 3 different fathers. I'm not ashamed to admit this makes me bad laughing & fills me with relief at such a lucky escape.

    3. Facebook is your friend. Do what employers do - check out their beliefs & attitudes to life. Screen any new prospect carefully & if in any doubt - chuck it out.

    4. Nowhere else in nature will you find the male willing to take on another male's offspring.

    5. There's a single mother in our street who play's the hard-done-by card to a tee. She has a constant stream of male "helpers" providing her with free DIY, drinks, meals, vacations etc. Her ex's maintenance & welfare pays for the rest.

    6. Would you date a single mother if she didn't have a vagina?

    1. Good work. Excellent observations and comments.

    2. Bwaahahaa to point number 6 ... never thought of it like that but must admit .... sad but true

  15. Anonymous12:33 AM

    Run...............Run fast.

  16. Anonymous4:48 PM

    I posted the lengthy statement above. I am a divorced mom and I am not dating until my youngest child is 18 and maybe not even then. I support myself, always have, and my children with no help. Their father was a deadbeat. Yes that is my fault too, but what's done is done. Not all women are money grubbing gold diggers like the bloggers wife, and men need to take responsibility too. Example. ..don't want kids...afraid of a gold digger using your sperm to get pregnant? Don't have sex with her or get a vasectomy. Or, just act like single moms are money grubbing whores trying to get themselves pregnant for your paycheck. That works too.

  17. Anonymous3:26 PM

    This is a universal truth . Its not only truth in your country , this is a truth every where , every country , every color of woman etc . Seems that in USA can get worse as I read some folks legally have to pay for kids that dont belong to them , thats insane . The only situation in nature to take other men offspring is different species . like when Wolf takes care of a little cat . Let nature do the job .

    1. Anonymous11:14 AM

      How illiterate are you!

    2. Anonymous9:24 AM

      Some of u sound dumb and sadly very ignorate.

    3. The last thing I want to be is "ignorate",

    4. Anonymous12:59 PM


    5. He is not illiterate. English is obviously not his first language. Considering that he is still able to write a post in English is smarter than you.

  18. Anonymous4:26 PM

    I'm a man, engaged to the mother of my two children. And even in this situation, the children always take priority. You (the significant other) won't always be the priority; and that's fine. We a still love eachother and we're to be married September if 2016. I think most of this article is trash. Not wanting to be with a woman because she doesn't have a pre-pregnancy body is incredibly shallow, and speaks poorly to your character.

    If you're really worried about the possibility of a divorce, and the woman getting half of everything you have? Sign a pre-nup.

    I also don't believe you would be accused of child abuse for no reason, unless you gave people reason to worry, or the mother is crazy as hell. In which case, the flags should have gone up long before you invested enough time to be trusted with her child alone.

    Frankly, the only thing I can agree with you on is the child bonding with a man, and the relationship ending. If this happens so many times, it can be emotionally harmful to the child. I know a single mother that dated so many men, her son will call anyone daddy. He called me daddy the 2nd time they were at my house, and I felt terrible for the kid.

    Outside of that, your views seem really misguided.

    1. Angela9:46 PM

      A little boy at my son's daycare called every woman mommy. Mom's can be dead beat parents too. Do these rules also apply to single fathers? I think the entire article is trash. It must be satire. I'm seeing a guy who's 8 years younger than me; he's well aware that I have two kids. We take turns paying for our dates, we plan everything around the kids (he's super considerate of them and their needs). We are going super slow, and making sure all our decisions for the future are most beneficial for the kids well being. Not every man is a shallow idiot like the author of this article. Not every single parent (mom or dad) is a crazy blood sucking parasite. People with children usually have goals, they work hard to get or stay ahead. They can be the most inspirational and motivational people. They obviously know how to take care of others and put someone else first. That's way more than can be said about most unmarried young people with no kids these days. To each their own, but real adults with real world views would not find use of this article.

  19. Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Anonymous, and I mean that sincerely.

    A few notes...

    There were many reasons cited. Deterioration of her body was only one.

    It is interesting you talk about character, considering you have made & are raising children out of wedlock.

    Prenups are tossed out of court all of the time.

    False allegations of abuse are also made all of the time. And, in fact, no small percentage of people (including women) are, in fact, dealing with mental illness.

    Even though you've revealed very little about yourself, what you have revealed indicates that the odds of you staying married to this woman are not favorable. This is based on statistics, and of course stats are about a population. Whether or not this will end in divorce in your case is either 100% or 0% and you might fall into the minority where there is a lasting, happy marriage.

    I urge you to read this:

    Always free free to come back to this blog and make comments. I look forward to hearing how things progress in your relationship.

    1. Anonymous9:52 PM

      A large percentage of said people dealing with mental illness (and personality disorders) are women.

  20. Anonymous7:28 PM

    Lets not want to shout your girlfriend a nice romantic holiday in bali.....when she has a kid/s this is next to impossible unless the kid/s come along thus further complicating things so thus it ain't worth it.

  21. Anonymous6:17 PM

    Of all the reason for avoiding single mothers for dating and relationships, the best one came from a woman - it was a YouTube comment made by ShieldWife:

    "Men, what if you met a woman who was interested in dating you and she came right out and said that she was going to cheat on you with a hotter guy, a bad boy type. She would have that guy's children and you'd be the sucker paying to raise that guy's kids and to support this unfaithful woman. You certainly wouldn't ever consider dating that woman, right?"

    "Well, that is what a single/divorced mom is telling you. She's already had that fling with the bad boy and now she wants a sucker to support her and that guy's kids. Why would you agree to enter into a relationship that you know is going to be exploitive from the very beginning?"

    "Now, it's theoretically possible that her ex isn't a bad boy. Maybe he was a decent hard working man, a good father and provider. In which case, she stabbed him in the back and tore apart their family, doing immeasurable damage to their children and ruining the poor guy financially and emotionally, likely because she got bored with him."

    "Either way you cut it, you should stay away from her."

    1. Truth. My sons mother is a cheating user.

    2. Anonymous3:05 AM

      So true. I fell for it and lost big, 9yrs. She got bored and cheated on me, like her ex. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with her needing an ATM not a life long partner. Oh, I help her through a Batchelors and Masters degree and cheated on me one month later after getting it. Run

  22. DarthW6:30 PM

    This is spot on, and there are many other reasons than these. I'll address a few things that the initial "Anonymous" woman posted regarding your points.

    1. On the point that a "mature" man would understand that he's going to be last priority. BALONEY. Every man should expect himself to her first priority JUST LIKE SINGLE MOMMY will expect that he make her his first priority. I dated many single moms in the past - before I wised up that aside from sex there is nothing in such for a real man - and single mommy ALWAYS expects that she be his first priority, with her kids by another man being a close second priority for him. He will be expected to give up an inordinate, unequal amount of HIS time, HIS money, and HIS dreams to meet her needs and her children by another man's needs, but when he expects something from her single mommy will ALWAYS say "I'm too tired cause of the kids" etc.

    2. It isn't just that most relationships end, it's that a guy who gets with a single mom is likely to lose a whole lot more when - most likey - the single mom ends the relationship. Wives initiate 70%, and in some reports up to 90%, of divorces. So single mommy, if she was married, likely made her own mess. And it is highly likely she will do the same for the new guy, and take a lot of his assets, and cash with her.

    3. On a guy being vulnerable to charges of abuse, this is definitely true, and while not common, all it takes is one angry single mom or stepkid to ruin a man's life. It won't matter that he's not guilty he'll lose his job, his life, and his relationships because the stain of those false accusations will never go away. THIS alone is reason enough to NEVER risk a single mom.

    4. It doesn't matter if YOU won't expect your boyfriend to pay for, or not. There are exceptions to every rule, maybe you are one, but the MAJORITY of single moms WILL expect their boyfriends to pay, and pay for it all. Most every single mom I've dated sat back easily and thought I should pay, and that is the same experience for men most of the time.

    5. If I'm in shape and take care of myself, I have every right not to deal with a body that is attractive and in shape. Just as a guy needs to take care of himself physically, so does a woman. Great if she's got a wonderful personality, but that's only part of the package.

    6. No man when he is young dreams of being a a single mom's kids by another man. Step-parenting is most often a living Hell for the guy with no kids. He is not part of the team that single mommy, her kids, and even her ex form, AND while Stepdaddy will be expected to empty his wallet to pay for kids not his, he will be disinvited at will if he expresses a desire for her kids - and even for her ex - that is counter to the opinion of the members of her team.

    7. See #2

    8. My, my how single moms like to throw around the words "real man" to try to insult we guys who are wise enough to stay away from single moms. Obviously, we guys who want to keep out time, dreams, money, 401K, assets, etc. in our possession, and not have them drained by a single mom most certainly MUST be "man children" because we won't surrender our lives to single mommies. BS! You have no idea of which you speak. Regarding exes, I handled a couple deadbeat exes in my day, but why should I have to? My life without single mommy is full of money, free time, no drama, my assets are safe and mine. AND I don't have a single mommy who still pines for her ex - is often banging him still on the side -, who creates a lot of drama between me and the ex. Single mommy picked him, and so she should have to deal with him....ALONE.

  23. Never refer to children as Baggage. You were a child once so that makes you baggage? The only thing I don't agree with here is that single mothers do offer something that a person without children can. And that's the ability to think third demential meaning they know how to take care of someone other than themselves and most of the time can act unselfish!

    1. Anonymous9:28 PM

      They're definitely baggage if they aren't yours.

    2. Anonymous9:02 PM

      Other men's children are excess baggage, especially when single mom tries to get a man who is not their father to carry the baggage. Single moms are poison whether their baggage lives at home or is out generating grand kids who are not your own, but will be a sucking swamp of your time and resources.

    3. Oh yeah, choosing to have a kid who'll grow up without a father to is sooo unselfish. Having your parents babysit your kid while you hit the bars, collecting WIC and foodstamps is sooo unselfish. Here's something a chick with kids can offer you that a childless woman can't, and that's to possibly have a court stick you with child support if the relationship with her ever ends, for a the other guy's kids if the court decides they see you as as having a parental relationship.

  24. Simply put it you're selfish don't date single parents. It's o.k. To be selfish. Just don't date a single parent if you are. That's when it won't work out.

    1. Right that's the best comment I've read so far

    2. Best comment so far

    3. Nice shaming tactic.

  25. I think this is crap. I'm a single mom of three. I made a responsible decision, with my husband, to have those children; we both wanted them. My husband passed away unexpectedly from an undiagnosed heart defect, leaving me a widowed, single mother.
    I'm not looking for a new baby daddy, sugar daddy, or cash cow. I take care of my own children, pay my own bills, and am going to the closing table on a house in less than three weeks.
    I don't date, nor do I plan to date until my youngest is in school so that they do not start to get attached to anyone. I will only introduce a man to my children if it is completely serious; not even if said man wanted to meet my children.
    I don't want any more children and have in a mirena until I can get my tubes tied.
    Yes, my kids will always come first, as it should be. But, even if I was childless, I learned a long time ago to never elevate a man above myself. So, he still wouldn't come first.
    I agree that there are a lot of women out there like this but, there are also men with a lot of these traits. I think it's messed up to group all single moms in with a few gold digging, baby mamas.
    Some of us are decent, responsible, honest, hardworking people.

    1. Sweetheart you are not a single mom, you are a widow. You made the proper choice and circumstances out of your control,took your husband and their father from you. Look at what you typed, your character is dramatically different from what he is inferring. In my opinion, as much as it is relevant, a widow is not even on the same planet as an intentional baby mamma etc..

    2. You are a widow, you are not under any circumstance a single mother. You did your due diligence, had children in the correct manner,and circumstance out of your control took your husband and their father away. You did not make poor life choices and expect someone else to pick up the slack. You are not on the same planet, as a baby mamma or arrogant divorcee.

  26. Anonymous3:33 AM

    There's a guy in our office. Historically low on self-esteem, struggled with the ladies but otherwise held down a good job, salary, own house in a nice area & savings. He took on a single mother with 2 kids. She never looked happy around him. The contraception failed & they had a son. After a few years living together, he's out of his own house, savings & mental state have dwindled & she's just been awarded a large part of his assets. Not sure if there's even a moral to this. Just another broken man, churned up & spat out by the need for love & approval.

    1. Anonymous9:41 AM

      I feel so bad for that poor guy and I hope he recovers from this disaster. I was about to end up like this but she cheated much early in the marriage and we divorced and she thought she ll get alimony and 401k but non of that happened and I have recovered from that depression and now I super careful in selecting any women as a life partner...specially single moms

  27. Anonymous9:41 AM


    1- They are domesticated. They can cook, clean, keep house, balance a checkbook and stick to schedules. How many single women are sloppy and can't cook because they never had to take care of someone?
    2- They're smart. They DIDN'T stay with a deadbeat in order to save face and took on the single mother stigma head-on to sacrifice for their children.
    3- They don't treat men like trash. They already know how to out others before themselves. How many single women do that well?
    4- Because they've experienced prior heartache, they KNOW what they want.
    5- Because single fathers had a 50/50 chance of being a single parent too when they married and started a family. Could men ever bear to be judged like the man that wrote this article is judging women?
    6- Because stepchildren still have the potential to be the one of the best things that happened to you. How many men adore their nieces and nephews? How many men teach or mentor children? You can love the experience if the mother is as great as you're dating her for....she'd be raising superstars!
    7- They're humans with talents, personality and other qualities to attract. Everyone has a history. Writing half of the dating population off for something that could work out fine is not the ONLY choice single men have.

    Gorgeous 36 yr old, divorced mother of three....with a Masters degree, house, car, career and open heart! 👏🏼

    1. Angela9:53 PM

      I'd have to meet her first. Being a single mother doesn't make you undateable. Being a horrible person does and they're are horrible people with and without kids.

    2. Single father's are judged and passed on all the time. Single mothers most certainly do not all know how to cook. I dated one and she was terrible. And you certainly don't speak for all single mothers, I've seen plenty that treat men like trash and use them. One of the reasons they are single. And as to they knee what they want? Not necessarily so,and more likley than not, they are looking for resources. There's not much incentive for a single guy to date a woman with kids, who likley have a strong bond with biodaddy and will see the new guy mom is dating as an invader. Happened to a friend of mine. You don't be a team either in regards to the kids, you're in the back, biodaddy is a teammember and you're expected to pay. You'll never have an opportunity to be her first priorty or have that important bond where the husband and wife will be important to each other. You will always be a distant after thought. And if she's older and had multiple kids, your not likley to have any of your own as well. My uncle is married to a widow. Her daughter always came first, then she had a kid out of wedlock. Guess what? Grandchild came first, and he is still an after thought but expected to pay.

      I also noticed you praised yourself. Not really much to offer a single guy with no kids at your age and I can infer your divorce was bad. You have an uphill battle if you're going to date again for something serious and long term. I wish you luck.

    3. Anonymous2:27 AM

      No. You're damaged goods. Do not date single moms.

  28. "They are domesticated."

    We all know plenty who aren't.

    "They can cook, clean, keep house, balance a checkbook and stick to schedules."

    Many rely on fast food and microwaved instant meals. Of course they can clean and keep house - but WILL they? Yes they CAN balance a checkbook, which is exactly why some of them want a new walking ATM in their lives.

    "They're smart."

    Getting knocking up by the wrong man (which was usually the case) isn't smart.

    "They don't treat men like trash."

    HA! Oh, that's a good one.

    "Because they've experienced prior heartache, they KNOW what they want."

    Who hasn't experienced heartache?

    "Because single fathers had a 50/50 chance of being a single parent too when they married and started a family."

    They shouldn't be getting married, either. What a mess for their kids! This is NOT an anti-woman posting. This is about protecting men and children.

    "Because stepchildren still have the potential to be the one of the best things that happened to you."

    Yes, there is POTENTIAL there. Very slight potential. The risks are far more severe and likely to happen.

    "They're humans with talents, personality and other qualities to attract."

    So are the women without the baggage.

  29. Well, personally I've always found the very idea of dating a single mother to be repulsive.

    Basically I'd be taking on the responsibility of raising another man's offspring, which to me, comes off as completely arbitrary.

    The ultimate purpose of being in a relationship with someone in my book is marriage, and being married to a single mother means having to share the financial burden of raising the children. The messed up thing is if the relationship ends, then there is the risk of having to pay out child support to children who aren't even mine.

    The risk and effort is just not worth it. I have, and will always continue to avoid single mothers like the plague.

    1. Anonymous2:34 AM

      You made that up...No man pays child support for kids that were already there before they even dated unless they choose to. Some men raise kids and consider them theirs too. Glad there are wonderful em out there like that.

    2. Anonymous9:07 PM

      I know of a case in New Mexico and a couple in California where a man was forced to pay child support for not his own spawn. Avoid single moms, make the wrong decision and there is a chance you will be financially gutted and made to support her kids

  30. Anonymous7:35 AM

    Wow what a bunch of negative people! This post is wrong! As for all you trolls, you're nothing but a bottom feeder living with mommy with a bottle of lotion on his night stand! Grow up

    1. Anonymous12:36 PM

      Prove it's wrong, troll.

    2. I won't date a single mum for the simple reason that i raised my son on my own, he's grown up now and it's all about me these days, as i've done my part in raising my OWN kid. I have my own business, very financially independent, play sports and have a busy life. There is no way i would jeapordise that for anything or anyone, as i worked hard for everything i've got these days. I'd prefer to date someone who has had kids, but they're grown up now. I just believe that you should be raising your own kids, not someone else's!

    3. Anonymous1:45 PM

      Shaming fallacies reply and you tell others to grow up?

    4. Stop trolling!

  31. Anonymous9:38 AM

    On the balance of probabilities - dating a single mother is not going to result in a happy outcome for you. I've seen the same pattern time & time again. Of course there are exceptions & some very good women with genuine reasons for their status. They are in the minority.

    Put simply.

    Why take the risk?

  32. Anonymous9:55 AM

    Ok help please,
    I have been with my single mom for almost ten months, and in that period I have provided ultimate security for her and her two children a house new car vacations etc etc etc. I have met her needs completely she doesn't have to work she takes care of the kids full time and has no worries. She has two kids and the father has not been in there lives for quite some time doesn't send money no phone calls on birthday or holidays, nothing. The point of my post is because I'm doing all this because I love them but they treat me "like a complete piece of trash" the kids come first which is the way that it should be but I come last completely and I mean I'm the soul provider for these kids and there mom and they treat me like if I was a bum and didn't do nothing for them. I think I'm about to jump ship here what do I do? Is this the perks of dating a single mom? We're on vacation now and it feels like I'm just a walking ATM and they don't even care that I'm here.

    1. I am sorry that is happening to you but no that is not the perks of dating a single mom unfortunately you've found one of the ones described in this post but coming from a single mom there are some of us that do want the LOVE AND AFFECTION of a good man not his money and assets it just depends on the character of the female to whom you choose to date

    2. Holy shit man, get out of there asap

    3. Run Fast Like Forest Gump on Crack!!

    4. Run Fast Like Forest Gump on Crack!!

    5. Anonymous11:54 PM


  33. Anonymous5:05 PM

    Gut instinct?

    You're a mother with a son. One day he announces he's met a single mother who he's going to be seeing a lot more of.

    Are you happy for him?

  34. Anonymous5:11 PM

    Like this post

    Lots of well put comments. It's even got trolls calling people trolls :)

    Seems to be on the side of avoid single mothers.


  35. DarthW4:42 AM

    'Wow what a bunch of negative people! This post is wrong! As for all you trolls, you're nothing but a bottom feeder living with mommy with a bottle of lotion on his night stand! Grow up"

    ---OH YES, there it is! Another single mommy throwing out the old shaming tactic that we guys who, very wisely, reject the idea that a relationship with a single mom is beneficial to any man simply and absolutely MUST be living in our mommy's basement and sadly alone. LMFAO. So typical.

    No, no. It couldn't be that we wise men have a sizable 401K that we wise men will retire with and enjoy all our days. It surely isn't that we wise men may own our own home and not want single mommy - who left the father of her children and often took his assets - to get her grubby paws on our home and take it from us. No way it could be that I make a sizable paycheck that I don't want expected by her to buy, buy, buy for she and her kids by another man while I get no return on that financial investment, and also provide another asset for her to take from me when - most likely - she initiates a divorce as she most likely did with her ex. It certainly must not be that the guy doesn't live in his own home, gets to date childless women who don't have rugrats to interrupt the dates or sex. It absolutely cannot be that the wise guy is smart enough to know that single mommy brings piles of debts and drama to the relationship that would likely be challengin g without the extra baggage. No, no single mommy declares it, and so it must be such that any guy who is wise to call out single mommy's messes as they are and call HER to deal with HER OWN mess, that guy must be a "man child" living in mommy's basement. Sure, single mommy, sure.

  36. Oh, no, I feel for you Anon who is with a single mother and feeling like a walking ATM.

    I highly recommend consulting a family law attorney, because laws and court climates differ from place to place. There is a chance you'll be ordered to pay support to this woman and her children even though the kids aren't yours and even if you haven't married her.

    I'm not an attorney, but I would recommend that you IMMEDIATELY do the following, in addition to getting a good family law attorney ASAP:

    1) Do NOT refer to her as your wife/spouse if you're not married.
    2) Do NOT refer to her kids as "my" or "our" kids.
    3) Do NOT buy anything for the kids. Not even presents, unless they are independent adults. The holidays are here, so... lookout!
    4) Do NOT buy a house or sign leases or make big purchases with this woman.
    5) If they are living in your house, do NOT refer to it as "our" house. Only refer to it as mine.
    6) Do NOT have sex with her unless you're using a condom that you know she hasn't had access to. Really, you should stop having sex with her immediately.
    7) If they aren't living with you, do NOT let them move in or stay overnight in your place.

    You need to get out of the situation. Ten months is not so long that the kids will be traumatized, but it still might be good to announce your departure from the situation in a "family" therapy situation, or at least a couples counseling session. If you're living with her, get some buddies to help you get your stuff out of there (unless it is your house) when she and the kids are not there. Ideally, you should have some other place of your own all ready for you, but if not, use storage and a friend's place.

  37. To all single mothers, you having children will play a big role in who you decide to get serious with, so you having children will ALSO PLAY A BIG ROLE IN WHO DECIDES TO GET SERIOUS WITH YOU.

    1. Angela9:58 PM

      This is true. A smart woman will see a f*ckboy for what he is though and not waste her time. There are genuinely nice guys out there (obviously not you, the blogs author, or half these morons commenting). Single mons have to be extra careful of who we let in our lives. Think single mom's aren't good enough to date? Well that just proves that you are in that category of undateable f*ckboys. Thanks for making it easier to pick you out.

    2. Anonymous12:21 PM

      What an idiot, single women have no right to "pick out" men, no man is lining up for a whore who cold not keep her legs closed to the wrong man...

    3. Showing that negative bitter attitude does nothing to calm the single mom stigma. It all comes down to preference. EVERYONE should be careful who they let in their lives. The fact is taking on a single mom, you are exponentially increasing that risk with the kids, exes, in-laws etc. Not to mention the sudden life style change for a single guy with no kids to all of a sudden take on all that. That's just asking for drama and future therapy sessions.

  38. Anonymous4:50 AM

    Single mom's are bad news...
    Women don't get it.
    Divorce laws are really out dated.

    Boys plenty of women with no children out there!

  39. Excellent blog, and totally spot-on! I live (and blog about) an area called The White Trash Mecca. Here, we have thousands upon thousands of single mothers, and I can count on one hand the number I've seen that would even be worthy of dating. Worst of the worst. Unfortunately, there are absolutely no women here past the age of 18 without kids, so lots of good guys simply have to be some single and go their own way.

  40. Luke,

    Thanks for commenting.

  41. Anonymous3:33 PM

    You weren't her first choice of a man. She chose somebody else.

    Some guys just don't get it.

  42. I am a single mom because of domestic violence. I fianlly had the courage to leave my abuser with my two little ones. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I ended up in a homeless shelter. Now I have my own car, apartment, and good career and have absolutely no help from anyone. I am the sole provider for my little family and I am prpud of that. Everytime i put food on the table or pay my rent and bills, I feel a great sence of empowerment. I've made my share of mistakes and I know I probably don't deserve to find love again. I understand that in most cases, this article sadly speaks the truth. I also know sometimes there are are exeptions. For now I am happy and am not looking for love. I think that is the trick for ANY relationship. You have to be completely content with who you are ALONE instead of looking for someone to 'complete you'. You don't 'need' a man, but it would be beautiful to love again and be loved in a different way than your kids love you.


    1. Angela10:01 PM

      Great job on recovering after such a hard life blow. Your kids are blessed to have you for a mother and any man that does find himself in your good graces is lucky to have you.

    2. Anonymous10:46 AM

      Silvana, sorry but you got pregnant with an abusive guy, dumb, 2 times? Are you serious, what is wrong with people like you? How do you stay with an abusive man until you have 2 kids with this a$$hole loser then leave with 2 permanent reminders of him and a forever connection? Should have aborted the first and left immediately, but i bet he said he loved you while hitting you and your not smart enough to distinguish between which was true, if thats the case you let it happen and got what you were asking for. I bet because of how you are your letting him off without child support payments and he doesnt even have to spend time with the bastards. Feel powerful all you want but these are the traits of a doormat not a strong woman!


    How come there aren't articles about why you shouldn't date single dads?

    What do you think of this article being called 'why you shouldn't date NEEDY people' instead of just single moms.

    There are plenty of single mom's who are very independent and don't NEED another man.
    Unfortunately, many single mom's are struggling. But why only women? How come men don't have the BALLS to raise children on their own? What if the tables were flipped? Would you still be making the same comments?
    Just a thought.

  44. Silvana-

    First of all, congratulations for wising up and protecting yourself and your children from an abuser. And congrats on your success since.

    It is not a matter of "deserving" love or not. I hope you find all the love you want once your kids are raised. Having done so well for yourself, you'll be in a much better position than someone who acts out of desperation.

    As to your second comment... this blog is a male perspective. I have no idea what it is like to date a guy, let alone a single father. However, many of the same principles apply. A man with minor children should not be introducing any new lovers of his to those children.

    The "needy people" idea is a good one. If someone is dating for marriage, they should not fool themselves. Marriage is largely a business matter, and it doesn't make sense to go into business with someone who has a bad track record.

    A lot of men aren't raising kids alone because courts won't give them custody, because they have a penis. Another reason, for other men, is that they never wanted to be a father in the first place. It turned out to be a matter of "her body, her choice". His choices ended far before hers did. Yes, such men are foolish to risk the possibility of pregnancy in the first place.

  45. Why are there far more articles advicing against dating single moms but not single dads?

  46. Ariel, if you mean on this blog, it is because this blog is a male perspective. If you're talking in general, it might be because men are still expected to do the approaching/initiation of the dating.

    I make it clear on this blog that parents of minor children, regardless of their sex, should not introduce their new lover(s) to their minor children.

  47. Anonymous1:23 PM

    Thanks for spreading the truth Ken! Yes anyone, unless otherwise widowed, who has children out of wedlock are irresponsible and should be avoided with all cost. I suggest they met and marry someone like themselves. Ken everything you said is spot on and this is the reason why the matriarch of traditional families are deteriorating. Society accepts failures and PRAISE them. I've been there and done it twice, shame on me, there will not be a third time. I tried to get these women a chance and I learned the same thing twice. My lesson is AVOID and RUN. Don't even get to know them. Single parenting is unnatural.

  48. Thanks for responding Ken. I appreciate your input. It is fair to point out that it takes 2 to make a baby. Very simple statement but we really understood what that meant, we would probably not judge single mom's or women who have decided to have an abortion. I'm not saying your judging, you seem like a decent guy. I'm just saying that overall. Men should be equally responsible for either deciding to keep their child or kill them or give them away. But sadly it usually the women who carry the proof not men. It's also usually women who will fight for their kids, not men. I don't see many men fighting to have FULL custody of their kids, it's not very common.
    In my case I was sexually assaulted and I decided to keep my baby and move forward. Now I am a single mom but no one in my life knows what really happened. I get judgemental comments all that time, and it hurts deeply. So I guess the moral of the story is don't jump to conclusions or judge. You never know the real story of how one ended up a single mom.

    1. Anonymous6:07 AM

      Shut up, who cares? I can't hear myself over your griping! Single moms are only datable when they admit that they screwed up!

  49. I'm divorced right now, i married a single mom and that is one of the biggest mistakes that I have done on my life! She lie to me about why she end her relationship with the father of her child (she told me he cheated on her but the truth was that she cheat on and then she cheat on me!), after our first child was born we talk about contraceptives and not more babies... Well she stop taking the pill and lied to me so she got pregnant again, we talked about buying a house and after getting a house she cheat on me so she end up with house for her, her daughter, our two kids, and a third one from her "new" boyfriend (she already dumped the guy, and collecting child support!) and child support from me... I learn my lesson, and while any women can be as bad as my ex wife single moms play a totally different game and require a different set of rules to play to not end burn and at loose at the end.

    1. Sounds like you learned the hard way like I did. Messing with single mothers is playing with fire. Smash and dash, only thing they're good for. Hopefully guys read your story and learn from it. I wish someone had schooled me about this shit before I got burned. At the time I probably wouldn't have listened anyway, life's an excellent teacher but this is a lesson that comes at a high cost.

  50. This article makes me very sad because I'm a single mother. I have made my fair share of mistakes, but because of them guys should avoid me like the plague? Let me clue you in on what being a single mother has taught me:
    A) I have learned how to not be self centered
    B) I have learned how to be a caring, and nurturing person
    C) I have learned how to be an independent woman
    The list can go on for days, but I'll stop there. These are qualities to be admired not mocked. My mind set has changed since I've had my son. When I consider dating I'm now more careful about who I chose to let in my life. I want companionship, I want partnership, I want someone to want me. Of course I'm a package deal, but I'm not some washed up money hungry whore looking for some man to support me and my baby. We are doing just fine without a man. You guys need to stop thinking that ALL single mom's are like the type you describe because that's not the case at all. If people's poor choices are deal breakers then I'm sure no one would be in a relationship. I'm a great person with wonderful qualities. If some guy can't see that because of my "baggage" then he isn't worth being with, and most certainly doesn't deserve me!

    1. Anonymous11:11 AM

      So go date a single dad and stop bitchsqueeling about single men not wanting your baggage around, damaged goods should date other damaged goods just how it is should have made better choices. Nothing changes the fact that all single moms come with children and that means added costs and inconveniences that women without kids come without so dead side by side comparison women with kids are a far worse decision. Also single dads may be wrecked souls or whatever but their body wasnt ruined in the process and ive never seen one mom that was made more attractive from having kids so your soul is wrecked and also your body, good luck with that but me and other smart single men are not in for that anyone that is is either desperate or has some other issue since hes wasting his time with you and your kids when he could be out having fun doing whatever whenever with a women without restrictions from children. Its pretty simple, i dont hate single moms but would never waste time and money on one.

  51. Of course not ALL single mothers are this way or that. Not all drunk driving results in a wreck, but I would still urge people not to do it.

  52. Anonymous10:00 PM

    Overall, it's best not to have a relationship or marry single mother in any case due to many reasons. Trust me, I love kid but not in the package deal especially when the biological father doesn't want to take care of his own kid. This really makes me sick! So guys, choose wisely & be responsible for your action.

  53. Anonymous2:06 PM

    Guys, listen to the advice in the blog. It's spot on, I dated a divorced mom with two young boys for 3 years.

    They were 7 & 10 when I met her, and my daughter was 3. I met her after I left my marriage at 39, and figured it would be a good fit. She was physically attractive, had fake boobs, a teacher, seemed together, with a good head on her shoulders and good with kids. Boy was I wrong, BIG TIME.

    She was a total nightmare dressed as a daydream. Had major daddy issues, and put little value on what I brought to the table as a successful man. I ended up being a disposable accessory.

    We were amazing together as a couple, but with children together it was a train-wreck. She choose her boys shitty behaviour over me EVERY SINGLE TIME. Made no apologies, and I got treated like garbage.

    We spent weekends and vacations together, I really got to know and enjoy her boys.

    The boys father was a total pussy, and quitter. Her boys yearned for a proper man in their life to show them how to build a campfire, pitch a tent, shoot a gun, took them skiing, and mountain biking, to car shows, and how to use a bow and arrow. I'm a successful entrepreneur, and I even taught the oldest one the basics of starting up a business, and coached him for weeks until he quit. I bent over backwards, spent my time, resources and money on them but got little to nothing in return. Never a thank-you or a hug.

    They would act up if they didn't like something, a chore, or discipline. It was almost as thought they knew how to manipulate their mum, and pull out the protective momma bear out of her. Watch out, momma bear is relentless and totally unreasonable.

    Their mother never got on the ground with my little girl like I did with her boys, she kept herself at distance with my daughter. I lost time with my daughter I'll never see again because of how I tried to do the right thing and blend a family, and show her boys how to be the man she fell in love with.

    It ended with her walking out on me during a parenting conflict one morning, and that night she went out with her girlfriend and picked up a young man in a bar and spent the night with him. She didn't tell me, as we tried to reconcile a week later. But when I found out not long after, it crushed me.

    To add insult to injury. Another source of hurt came from losing access to her kids. It was like breaking up with 3 people. I love kids, and always wanted a boy. It still hurts 5 months later. It was the worst, and most painful break up I've ever had.

    Do yourself a favour guys, if you can avoid a divorced mum with kids, stay away, or at least make damn sure you never take a back seat or take any of the bullshit I tolerated above.

    1. Anonymous2:58 PM

      Thanks for the advice man! So sorry to see this happen to you!

  54. As of earlier today I called it off with a woman i was seeing for a month. She has two kids, one who's a little shit who kicks things and doesnt take orders (like go clean your room) and a bratty young girl entering her pre-teens (she gave birth to this girl in her teens) so with these two products of a poor relationship I can only picture the two kids as a cyclone and large lightning ready to take me out. But She only has custody of her kids every second week, thus freeing her for a whole week where I can see her. Turns out that she doesnt do anything in her free weeks but dates other guys behind my back, also stringing them along. She also constantly whines about her ex (the bio father of those kids) just about all the time, even to the point that I yawned in her face (felt good doing that). But she would cancel out dates and constantly come out with excuses and when I finally got fed up with the last minute cancellations (this article did mention about these) she started releasing the evil from her. Its like I Interrogated her and the dark truth started coming out and she is acting like she is a bratty 21 year old (she is 29) and is just lining unsuspecting nice guys up (I somehow give off a nice vibe to these mothers) and just leading them on. This trick gets so old so quick and she'll end up being a single, miserable mother for a long time if she doesnt change her ways. Now I know not all single mothers are like this but I have yet to see a single mother who is the exception to this rule. Oh and single girls with no kids, watch out, Jonny's here lol.

  55. Anonymous12:08 AM

    I am not an expert nor do I have the experience to give any advice. But a while ago I came out of a serious relationship with a stay at home single mother. I do agree with some of the items highlighted in this discussion, some..not so.
    I've learned so much from this relationship, and for a man who is currently with a stay at home mother, I really wish you the best.

    Some stay at home mothers are the most loving people you will meet, and when you loved somebody, you will love and accept everything that's part of hers, this includes her children. It is a huge step for a single mother to introduce you to her children, and when you enter into a relationship with a single mother, you would be prepared that her children will always be placed before you. If you really loved her, it really shouldn't matter to you, it is normal for you to accept that, and loved her children as well. I don't know how to explain it, but you just do.

    When you are a single man, you can live your own life, when you are with a woman, you may still be able to do that, or she might even be interested in joining you. But a woman with children would be different, especially if she has children. In a serious relationship, it would be best if you could be there to support her, as it is often very stressful even with just one child, and you need to willing to sacrifice some of your freedom. A single man will need to be incredibly giving, and be very understanding, and patient and be supportive if he wants to be in serious relationship with a single mother.

    I've learned a lot from the past relationship. And being with a single mother is the most loving and rewarding experience I've had. When you do get it right, it feels like you are in a loving family, the ones you can only dream about, and see in the movies with the happy endings.

    But I hope that I won't fall into a relationship with a single mother again, I don't think I can handle it and offer her the things she really needs. But if you (single men out there) who knows what they are doing, then please, they (SAHM) are absolutely beautiful. Otherwise I can swear to you, that it is going to hurt you more than it will hurt her.

    I am sorry and I apologises for anything that any readers may find offensive.

    1. Anonymous2:37 AM

      You've been cuckolded. Just saying.

  56. Janie Miller3:58 PM

    I understand that your perspective is coming from a male point of view, but my hope is that most men do not look to what they get or receive from a relationship. I analogize this with JFKs inaugural speech in 1961 with his famous quote: "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man."

    If you question what your life purpose is in the long run, some people want to just enjoy life while it lasts and look for external pleasures. Other people (men and women) strive for a purpose in life, usually to make it a better place for others. I did not get married or have children until i was 30. My 20s were a decade of adventures, excitement and fun. I was completely self-centered and independent. While i did volunteer and spent plenty of time with nieces and nephews, i did not want to be responsible for anyone else. I enjoyed relationships at a very shallow level, based purely on a physical connection.

    I married someone just like me, unfortunately. Physiologically, a woman's brain chemistry changes drastically when she is pregnant and has children. I wasn't satisfied with external pleasure. I wanted to do everything i could to ensure my child had a safe and wonderful life. After three wonderful children, I wanted to not only ensure they had an amazing life, but i wanted to ensure all children in the world lived better lives. I hoped that my husband would eventually "see the light" and join my larger purpose. Instead, he resented the children for taking away my attention. This led to abuse of the children and I. I tried everything i possibly could to make it work. However, when he began to hurt the children I left.

    It has been 11 years since i was divorced. I have had to financially go back to a career track at work as he never really financially stepped up and was mostly unemployed. He even got remarried and had another child, recently divorcing again. His stepson sexually assaulted our younger daughter when she was only 8, and i have spent nearly $300K in court fees protecting her. He only see them once a year and lives across the country. Yeah, he's a shit and i made a terrible decision. It breaks my heart that my children do not have the love and devotion of two parents.

    They are amazing kids. They helped me start a non-profit and we have set up 5 computer labs in poor schools in Guatemala and Peru. My son is autistic and my daughters are ADHD, but they are empathetic and understanding and altruistic.

    I am in my late 40s now, so i will definitely not be having any more children. Additionally, there are many men that have gone through life asking what life can give to them instead of what they can give back. Usually when most people reach their 40s and 50s they evaluate what their life has been like and what they have gotten out of it. Short term pleasure pathways aren't as strong anymore.

    I have been engaged and proposed to a couple of times, though i have not let anyone live with us. I will only bring someone into my family as a gift. That man will have to offer a lot and be willing to contribute to society as a whole, as well as contribute thanklessly to my children. To be part of a family and part of a child's life is worth more than anything in the world. When many of these young men look back on their lives when they are 70 and still single, with nothing to look forward to, they will realize that deep connections will be worth more than a trophy wife or a servant.

    And, as a side note, women love sex! I had better sex after birthing children than i could ever imagine, and i certainly have more now. If your women are not having sex it is because either you are being an asshole or you suck in bed.

    1. "And will contribute thanklessly to my children". Yeah, anyone that has ever dated a single mom sure knows how that is.

    2. Anonymous2:42 AM

      Your children suffering from ADHD and autism is the result of living in a single parent home.

      Peru is right up your alley. I've been there. They are socialists, and just like true commies, like to steal other people's stuff.

  57. I would rather die alone than deal with the day to day bs of dating a single mom again.

  58. Anonymous12:51 PM

    Thinking about dating a single mum mmmm....?
    Take a look at all the mums websites - this is what your life will be like
    Take a look at all the websites/blogs against dating single mums
    Most importantly....Take a look at yourself.....The odds appear to be seriously against you

    The sob stories - honest or otherwise are not your problem. Neither are another man's offspring.
    Go live your life.

    A mistake avoided is a victory

  59. Anonymous8:16 AM

    Avoid the dumb & the unlucky

  60. Anonymous10:58 PM

    Divorced or widowed mothers bring a level of authenticity that permeates into sexual relationships out of necessity. They don't have time to play games or have a biological clock ticking, thereby pressuring men to get married, they just want something real, whether it's hot sex, companionship, whatever...

    The narcissism and entitlement that is normative for both single men and women is not a luxury that is typically available to single moms. Discriminating against a woman because she is taking responsibility for child rearing is not a negative, it shows fortitude, resilience and amazing character that many in the "me generation" lack; not to mention unselfishness.

    The only constant in life is change, and despite the perceived notion we somehow have control over all the X factors that may enter our lives like illness, death, and other unforeseen consequences, it is a facade...and placing blame on women because the institution of marriage lacks social support for couples with kids, especially in employment settings like paid time off, results in a 50% divorce rate from strained finances.

    So more than half of the commenters will be in this discriminated category according to statistics and judged as unworthy to date; ironically these are also the same habitual daters that have never been responsible for anyone other than themselves...and that makes sense how?

    If men had to disclose irresponsible sexual practices resulting in abortions, infidelity or abandonment that would be forever in the public view, this would be a very different article. The take away from this article: women care give (negative), men could care less (positive). Really?!?

    Single moms are the ones left with nurturing life, a noble endeavor that the author clearly lacks the capacity to understand because he has only dated for sport and has never been in love, there is a definitive difference and excluding a potential partner because of false pretenses only limits yourself.

    My hope is that the author of this "riveting" unsubstantiated opinion piece will experience some future karma bitchslapping and then have to write a mediocre article on his updated status: "why you should give single dads a chance."

  61. Anonymous10:26 PM

    ...dont take this serious..��.When the girl is a virgin a man will go on both his knees for her. When she is single but already had sexual partners a man will go on one knee for her. When she is a single mother...wel..a man will be just be standing straight up and scratch his much calculations.

    Oke seriously..i am not against single mothers. In good conditions i could date and start a relationship. But one problem i had was that if she already has 2 or 3 children and i want 2 or 3 children of my own we end up suporting 6 children in this expensive time...and maybe she doesnt want more or only 1 child from me so i end up like the looser suporting annother man childeren. I was at school and not the best in relationschips with girls..but i tried my best..the girl i liked rejected me because I wasnt like the thugs or cool guys..i was boring because i also was raised by a single mother and i had to work hard at school and working to pay school and... i had my become someone. no father no ungle no other man that cared for me. I had to teach myzelf. My mother did a great job to make sure i had food on the table. So again respect for single mothers. I did great..i have a fine job..and a house that is mine..i am not rich but i can manage. a few months ago i met this and girl and she was a single mother and she had great interest in me.she still looks beautiful but I rejected her and i told her that i respect single mothers but i was not intrested in raising annother man child. She looked at me with sad eyes and told me that her children had the right to have a good father figure in their life. I got a little angry inside because she was right i also felt the need when i was growing up.. but.. she..she rejected me when ask her to be my girl when we where still at school, and now she is telling me this?? No no no...i am the player now...i found my self a young beautiful woman and if she gets pregnant from me i will be there for my child because i know what it means to be without a father.

  62. Anonymous4:44 AM

    Avoid the Unhappy, the dumb & the unlucky

  63. Anonymous11:37 PM

    Let me give you a frank male perspective. Marrying a single mother is like being a cuckold in advance. On a biological level,the biggest fear men have is unknown parentage. Dealing with a single mother is like playing another man's saved game. It's the most shameful thing a man can do.The solipsism of women is astounding regarding this issue. To her, children are a gift from God. To men her kids are BAGGAGE. NO MAN wants to raise another man's offspring. No where in nature does this happen. Men will mostly engage with single mothers to gain access to easy sex. Alpha men with options WILL NOT COMMIT to these women. Why should he when there are women without kids that can bear kids from his own DNA????

  64. Anonymous6:07 AM

    If your ambition is to be a tissue for all her sob stories - then go ahead. People will see you for the sap you are. Date a single mum if you're desperate. You'll get everything you deserve. I know a women in her 40's, she's always been a "Princess". Did some fashion model work when she was younger. 6 kids to 4 different fathers now. I pity the fool fathers but genuinely feel sorry for the kids.

    Avoid single mothers.

  65. Why single moms should not date men who are selfish.
    1. He will demand as much time as a child and even though you spend plenty of time with him, there will always be a sense of odd jealousy from what appears to be an adult but is emotionally a child on the inside. Why add another child to the list of one's you already have to take care of?
    2. He will not understand that many single moms are used to having to provide for themselves and their children. They will not expect much from him in this way unless he offers and even then, they will feel bad for asking. He will assume that it is a slippery slope when he does offer as surely, she will expect it in the future.
    3.Consistency of kindness and helpfulness are too much to ask of him. Ask him to help with taking out the trash once, even when he hangs out at your house and eats your cooking,and he's filled up with good deeds for the month. (How dare she actually want me to help her with things that have nothing to do with me???)
    4. He assumes she is looking for a father for her kids...while really all she wants is someone to "adult" with, have interesting conversations with and enjoy their comment while often asking very little in return except for his time.
    5. They assume she did something wrong...even though the father might have run off or developed an addiction or lied, deceived and then became abusive to her.
    6. They don't realize that single mothers are often very mature, kind and giving individuals that has been a result of the maturing process of working hard to take care of their family and home.
    7. They do not realize that single mothers will be better listeners often, more understanding and more grateful for the decent men in their lives because they realize what matters in life and know how valuable decent men are.
    8. They will assume that single moms are not as pretty as women will have not had children. They assume that all single ladies have the possibility of being hot while single moms do not.
    9. They don't cherish women for who they are. They will rate them for how attractive they are and will not every be able to get to a deeper, less hollow view of a woman and will leave you with dissatisfaction from lack of depth in many facets.

    10.He will oddly assume that even though a single mom may already have a difficult time providing for the children she already had, she will oddly thin it a good idea to have more with a man she is not married to. Even if she's had a tubal ligation. Or a hysterectomy.

    It seems like a good idea to date men who know what matters in life. Like honesty, loyalty, compassion, kindness, humility, understanding, sacrifice, patience and the other basics of being a decent mature individual

    1. Anonymous9:44 AM

      Thanks Joy. One less single mom for us to worry about.

  66. Anonymous5:26 PM

    It has been entertaining to read this. I am a single mom who does not date. Looking at this from the perspective of a child-less man even I have to say do not marry a woman who already has kids nomatter what the circumstances are. It won't be good for the children or for you in the long run. There will always be an aspect of fakeness. She will always love the father of her children just for the fact that he gave her those children. She also won't submit to you the way the Bible tells women we are supposed too. We have the mama lion problem where we will defend our cubs. I work a lot so in my free time being with them matters most. I would neglect a mans needs in a heartbeat. Also when ever someone loses a father or mother of their children they are damaged and could take it out on you. You don't need that drama.

    1. Anonymous9:59 AM

      Boom. Truth right there. Bravo for being real. I dated a single mom for about a year. As a cuckold, you don't have the authority of a father of his own children.

    2. Anonymous10:43 AM

      My ex girlfriend, single mom, did once threaten me with the child abuse thing. That was a cluster f of a relationship. The threat occurred after she had broken up with me and went on a date with another guy. I had said that's cool, I'll start dating too and it threw her into manic attack mode. The things she said. Ay yay yay. She had been abused as a child herself and at one level I sensed she hoped to trap me as a perpetrator. It was twisted. I plotted my exit strategy with stealth precision after that and just faded into the night. Had to block the phone, but she has left me alone otherwise. Kept the crazy emails just in case.

  67. Anonymous3:15 AM


    Dating a single mother looks like pain. Obligation, complication, me the last in line for any consideration love & affection. Some posters here suggest not wanting a single mother is because I'm weak, immature, not a real man? Somehow I'm lacking?

    Hell! who wants all that manipulation.

  68. Anonymous6:22 PM

    Part 1 of my comments:
    First off, let's start by defining what is a "single mom" since there is some confusion; the vast majority of the time, when people refer to "single moms" they mean a girl (and they are *girls* - not mature, emotionally & mentally stable, healthy and sound WOMEN) who had a baby out of wedlock; she either was not married when she gave birth, or divorced while the child was still a minor.

    In either scenario, the girl is 100% at fault, her status as a single mom is wholly her fault and a huge red flag indicator of all sorts of problems that no sane man wants any part of. Let's dig into our two options:

    1) She was not married when she had the child. Do I really need to explain why this is a colossally stupid idea? Does anyone actually think it's a EVER a GOOD idea for a young, unmarried couple to have a child? Usually what happens here is the single mom is either too stupid or irresponsible to use birth control, or she "fell in love" with some alpha bad boy & wanted to trap him with a baby. Bad decisions all the way around, any way you cut it.

    2) She divorced while the child was still a minor. "Oh, but her man was a worthless, abusive alcoholic; a lazy, unambitious loafer! He was a bad father...he was verbally, emotionally, physically abusive, etc., etc, etc..." Here again; it's the girls' fault; the guy had his own red flags that she either chose to ignore or was too stupid to pick up on. Of course I do not advocate someone stay in an abusive relationship, not even "for the kids" but people don't turn overnight, if ever; they have always been who they are, you either chose to ignore their warning signs or were too stupid to see them.

    Everybody living in 21st century America has all too-easy access to any form of birth control they want and they are certainly getting educated about it. So at some point, a single mom made a bad decision to have unprotected sex with someone she had no business doing that with.

    I was unfortunate enough to have a run-in with a single mom.

    Executive summary: She is bat-shit crazy, was unmarried & about 19 when she had the baby (told you so), got married to the baby daddy for about a year or less, then HE divorced HER (told you so again). While we were dating, she told me she was on birth control, yet at one point very soon after we started seeing each other, "oops! I'm pregnant! But don't worry...I already took care of it..." Man, oh man, oh MAN, did that fuck with my head like nothing I've ever experienced!

    It's about a 99% certainty that she lied to me about getting pregnant and the subsequent "abortion", but still; it really, really, really fucked with my head and heart like nothing I've experienced in my life so far. And the alternative; if she did actually get pregnant, what kind of a MOTHER could get pregnant a second time and abort it, discard it like it was a used tampon? In either situation, she's a fucked up monster.

    She is a pathological liar; she literally lied to me about everything from getting pregnant to where she's having dinner; and she is 100% Borderline Personality Disordered.

    She lives almost totally on hand-outs from her family; the condo she lives in is owned by mommy & daddy, all the cars she's driven were given to her by mommy & daddy (and she drives them into the ground; just abuses & destroys them & mommy buys her a new one!), she got her job only because of a family favor...etc. And indeed; most single moms are a financial train wreck, in addition to being disasters in every other aspect of their lives. In this case; once the handouts from mommy & daddy stop or child support ends, who do you think is going to get stuck paying the bills for another man's child?

  69. Anonymous6:22 PM

    Part 2:
    Since my run-in with this bimbo, I've done a TON of reading about single moms; there is a metric ton of information out there for anyone who's interested and any single man should definitely read up so he knows what to do in case a single mom crosses his path.

    At the end of the day, dating a single mom is a monumentally bad deal for the man any way you slice it. Check out that new movie "Daddy's Home" with Will Ferrell & Mark Wahlberg; it's an almost perfect illustration of what your life would be like as a step-father, and what it's like dating a single mom, and it was pretty funny to boot!

    Some of the highlights from that movie that are all too true in real life;

    - Single mommy almost always pines for the baby daddy to return, so you get to worry about her cheating on you with him, or maybe baby daddy decides to "win her back" from you, so she completely leaves your ass for him. My crazy single mommy actually still keeps her baby daddy's last name although she goes by her maiden name for ALL other intents & purposes! I was stunned when I discovered THAT little nugget....I think she might also be doing it because I heard she lies to her boss about her marital status so that she can claim extra benefits! And it could CERTAINLY be because she secretly hopes the baby daddy will ride back into her life on a white horse...

    - If she tells you she doesn't pine for him & hates him, congrats! So instead of worrying about her leaving you for the father, you get to deal with her bitching & moaning about him every time he comes up, and at worst, you could deal with serious drama, physical violence, etc. between you, her & the baby daddy if he's still above ground. Example; the single mommy I dated got back in touch with me a while ago & told me stories of her baby daddy vandalizing her car; smashed windows, slashed tires; and she ran to court to get a restraining order against him and his new girlfriend. If MY car had been parked next to hers, you think he woulda smashed my car too just for the hell of it? What man wants to deal with crap like that? Vandalism, spending time at the court house getting restraining orders, etc? THAT is the kind of life you want to lead, that is how you want to spend your spare time??

    - The kids. Lord knows what the situation is like between the kids & their estranged dad; do they hate him? Is single mommy poisoning the kids against him, using them as a weapon against him? It is a statistical fact that the children of single-parent households almost invariably have far, far more problems than their nuclear counterparts; depression, emotional problems, poor performance in school, drug use, criminal behavior, etc.

    Do the kids resent you for trying to play daddy? Or; do the kids love you and you love them? Even better; imagine how heartbreaking it is to you and the child when single mommy finds another alpha male & drops you on your head!

    Single moms are women who have lost all value to you as a man because another man has beaten you to the end game and nothing in the world can ever change that; even if her kid dies, she will always be a mom to another man's child.

  70. Spot on, 100%!! I'm glad that at least some men are waking up to how young single mothers are. Not nearly enough, but eyes are opening more and more.

  71. Anonymous9:58 AM

    I recently dated a single mom. Its was one of the most difficult situations I've ever been in. I honestly tried and went in with the best intentions - but like someone said, the odds are stacked against you (single childless guy) on sooooooo many levels!

    The fact is, it is very dangerous territory and requires two EXCEPTIONALLY mature and stable people to make it work. That is all.

    I'm so glad I found this post, thanks.

  72. Anonymous1:55 PM

    I will Never date a Single mother with excess baggage.

  73. Angela said...

    "Tony did you fall of the short bus? Yep. You did. Go lick some more windows."

    Hardly a refutation.

    "Do these rules also apply to single fathers?"

    Most of them. But I don't know of any men who've "accidentally" gotten pregnant or have forced a woman who didn't want to be a mother to pay 18-26 years of child support. This blog is from a heterosexual male perspective. Even if I wasn't married, I wouldn't be dating men.

    "I think the entire article is trash. It must be satire."

    Oh, good, then I'm sure you have some examples of what is trash in what I wrote. I assure you it isn't satire. You seem very, very touchy about it. Interesting.

    "I'm seeing a guy who's 8 years younger than me; he's well aware that I have two kids."

    He's a fool.

    "We take turns paying for our dates, we plan everything around the kids (he's super considerate of them and their needs)."

    You plan everything around the kids... that was exactly one of my points!!! Thanks for making it for me.

    "We are going super slow, and making sure all our decisions for the future are most beneficial for the kids well being."

    Too late! You're already screwing that up.

    "Not every man is a shallow idiot like the author of this article."

    An example of being "shallow", please?

    "Not every single parent (mom or dad) is a crazy blood sucking parasite."

    Who said EVERY? Not every apple in a dumpster is tainted, but I wouldn't want to take the risk.

    "People with children usually have goals, they work hard to get or stay ahead."

    Many people without kids have goals, too, and some of them avoid having children for that very reason. And you have to work hard (or find a man or Big Brother Government) because kids are expensive.

    "They can be the most inspirational and motivational people."


    "They obviously know how to take care of others and put someone else first."

    Not necessarily. Putting your children first means marrying the right person and treating that person right before having children, and continuing to treat that person right after having children, so that you don't end up a single parent.

    "To each their own, but real adults with real world views would not find use of this article."

    Don't worry... you'll still be able to find suckers. But more and more men are wising up.

    "Being a single mother doesn't make you undateable."

    Yes it does!

    "There are genuinely nice guys out there (obviously not you, the blogs author, or half these morons commenting)."

    LOL. "Nice" must be the word you use for "sucker".

    "Single mons have to be extra careful of who we let in our lives."

    They weren't extra careful (usually) when it came to letting a man into their body in the first place. And many single moms are NOT careful at all. Every day you can read articles about some boyfriend or stepfather beating a woman's kids to death. And make no mistake, those men should die painful deaths, but how careful were those single mothers?

    "Think single mom's aren't good enough to date?"

    It has nothing to do with "good enough". It has to do with that a man wants. If he enjoys his freedom, dating a woman with minor kids is a huge risk. If he just wants sex, dating a single mother is not the best way to go. If he wants a woman's companionship, dating a single mother is not the best way to go. If he wants to get married and especially if he wants to have his own children, dating a single mother is not the best way to go. It's a really bad way to go.

    You've created a bad situation and now you're lashing out at people who point it out. How sad.

  74. I feel I must contribute. I have spent 6 years total with 2 different single moms. Although they were good people they WERE NOT WIFE OR GF MATERIAL. it's all about them and their children and what YOU can do for them. I say stay away.

  75. Anonymous7:58 PM

    Interesting article. I am a single mom of two children because my husband died. I guess that means I made wrong decisions in not knowing my husband would die. Bummer.
    I don't want to date men. The whole friends with benefits concept fits just fine. I don't want anyone else raising my children. They are mine. I don't want to remarry. My children don't need a step father. My children are respectful, intelligent, and don't need someone else in their lives but they know I have friends that are boys. That's all they need to know. They have met my "boyfriends" but we are friends and the kids don't expect anything else. Nor do I. Not all single mom's are looking for, emotional, or other. I am fine on my own so please don't assume single mom's want men to pity them and to "help" them. Get off your high horse.

    1. "Not of all of these reasons apply to everyone...

      Women are “single mothers” for different reasons. While the term should be reserved for never-married mothers, it can also refer to divorced mothers and widowed mothers. Unless she was widowed because her husband was killed through no fault of his own (as opposed to guys who committed suicide, or had unhealthy lives, or were involved in crime), she picked the wrong man and/or treated him like crap."

      That YOU aren't looking to make these guys your boyfriends, baby-daddies, or hubbies does not negate the fact that this is a very real risk for men who are in the dating market.

  76. Anonymous3:55 AM

    The moment she informed me she was a single mother, I had an uncomfortable feeling - Psychologists would call this immediacy? It's millions of years of evolution plus all your life's experiences & hopes for the future giving you a clear instinctive signal - a gut feeling. Attempting to debate, rationalise or compromise (no matter which way I looked at it) only left me feeling insulted I'd be considered foolish enough to accept second prize.

  77. Anonymous10:09 PM

    Try dating a single mom with an autistic child. Actually, don't try dating a single mom with an autistic child. Not only will you never come first, but if the father has no desire to be involved, you will be lucky to have one weekend alone with her per month and only a few hours here and there when you aren't babysitting the autistic kid, watching some lame kids' movie, playing some silly kids' game, and walkng on eggshells to avoid an autistic meltdown. You're essentially a friend with infrequent benefits who's expected to accommodate the autistic kid's wishes. Run far, far away.

    1. Excellent article. This should be required reading for guys once they hit high school age or so. So many stories in the comments that ring true, very hard and expensive lesson to learn from life experience as I did. I'm not even going to tell my story because it's so similar to everyone else's. A lot of guys learn this the hard way. If you're lucky you make it out with a lighter wallet and a bruised ego. If you're unlucky you can lose everything. If you're a guy who has a son you need to teach them how to discern between women who are relationship material and one's that aren't. I wish my father had taught me this, but how would he? He never dated a single mother. Married my mother at 18 and they're still married 40 years later. It was different back then. Way too many guys learn these things the hard way. Anytime I see a friend or a coworker doing something stupid, making a hoe a housewife or something, I make it a point to tell them what my experience was when I made that mistake so they can learn from it.

  78. Anonymous3:04 PM

    Whilst I'm sure there probably are a few single mums out there worth dating, I never met any personally. Like most men, I regard the prospect of taking-on another man’s children to be intensely undesirable. Any one of the reasons already stated in the original post should be enough to make any sensible bloke think twice before putting his neck in the proverbial noose.

    Nevertheless, I personally know a few guys who thought they were “in love” and who were conned into taking-on kids left over from their partners’ previous sexual encounters. Some of these guys eventually become quite fond of these kids too, despite all the difficulties. But all these chaps came to regret it eventually.

    Basically they were bled dry, financially and emotionally. They were treated like a cross between a free cash-dispenser and a free child-minder. They felt constantly pushed into into working ever longer hours. Told not to waste time on hobbies or studying – just to keep bringing in the money and look after the kiddies when mummy needed some "me time".

    They also had to put up with their partners’ ungrateful brats screaming, “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” in one breath, followed by, “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dad!” in the next. Not to mention countless unpleasant encounters with the absentee biological fathers. In fact, the rude, aggressive, jealous, knuckle-dragging exes often seemed worse to deal with than their repulsive spawn - and are frequently a significant part of the excess baggage that comes with single mothers.

    What a bloody nightmare! Frankly I'd far rather have no relationship at all, than be saddled with raising someone else’s children. Fortunately there are plenty of child-free women out there – an ever-growing number, if recent statistics are to be believed. Hence I never date women with kids and I would certainly never marry one.

    Finally guys, please don't swallow any of this "manning-up to the task" bollocks that some single mums try to feed single child-free men. There is nothing manly about being a mug!

  79. Anonymous4:52 PM

    Many women will advise you not to get involved with a single mother.

  80. Anonymous9:21 PM

    I fell in love with a single mom. We lived together for more than a year. It was a disaster... I ended the relationship myself but I'm still devestated. Never again. Single moms are crazy! She just jumps from one relationship to the next... We broke up... 3 weeks later she called me to tell me that she had a misscarriage (bullshit). Then 3 weeks later she shows up at my front door... "To let go of me" she ended up butt naked and we got into a fight. 3 weeks later another guy moved in with her!

  81. Anonymous7:38 AM

    "There's Nothing Manly About Being a Mug!" should be a mandatory lesson & mantra for every man. Kudos Sir.

  82. Anonymous5:51 AM

    Once upon a time single mothers were badly treated by the Law, Religion and Society. Nowadays the Law has gone to the other extreme. The Law is squarely on the side of women, especially mothers. This is known as positive discrimination. It's a rather sad state of affairs that we (men) can't be too careful to avoid getting involved with single mothers, since we (men) should be careful to avoid getting in trouble with the Law. The Law at once works for, and against, single mothers and women and men in general. The Law has given a new twist to the perpetual battle of the sexes. The important question is, Who benefits from the Law? Lawmakers.

  83. Anonymous8:11 PM

    I imagine single mothers, especially working mothers, are the busiest, since they have to do the work of the absent father. But, contrary to what is generally believed by men, women are not specially cut for adult love. They are not so for an extended period, to be sure. Women, especially mothers, are cut for work. Love is the stuff that comes before (the attraction). When a man is committed to a long-term relationship with a mother, what is expected from him, and rightly so imo, is real, material support. It is so because, you, the man, are involved with a mother. If and when the relationship is broken, you are responsible for their well-being, especially the children’s, since, morally and legally, you are the (step-)father. Getting involved with a mother is serious work.

    (By "Lawmakers" above I mean legislators, lawyers, judges.

  84. Anonymous12:52 AM

    This is ridiculous, children should never come first within a marriage. That is BIBLICAL. Wives should always put their husband as first priority, meaning after the wedding to a single-mom, the husband should ascend to a more important position to her than the kids. Putting kids first in a marriage is actually irresponsible and an almost sure way to cause another divorce. Kids thrive in an environment under a stable marriage, they need the stability in their lives, knowing that mom AND (step)dad will always be there, together and in support of them. God hates divorce and never intended children to be raised in a household with only a single parent. Kids need both strong male and strong female role models for proper psychological and emotional development.

    1. Anonymous2:35 AM

      It's not children that come first in a marriage. When children come on the scene, the nature of marriage changes. You are no longer lovers, a couple, the honeymoon is over, you are parents now. It is family that comes first. The same principle applies when you start or are in a relationship with a single mother. Family first.

    2. Anonymous1:02 PM

      Oh man, of all the disgusting comments to this really sad blog, this one actually made me laugh! "God hates divorce and never intended children to be raised in a household with only a single parent." <- then why does God allow parents to die, leaving behind a single parent? Hmm...we'll get back to that one. This blog and many follow up posts are made by some seriously "special" snowflakes with huge "victim" issues. Many sound like they have terrible relationships with their mothers. My brother falls into this line of thinking ("women are gold-diggers" "women are cheats and liars," etc.). Dude is broke, paid no child support to his ex and is now sucking off some unstable chick (who is childless so I guess it's ok that she's whacko...) and her parents. My mom can barely stand to talk to him because he's such a freak but yet he thinks he's a catch and it's the women who are the problem. Many of you seem so angry and hatefilled. It seems that you would be better off dating other men. That way you won't be duped or screwed over by some "unscrupulous" she-devil. You special little victims crack me up (and no, I'm not a single mom). Keep up the positive blogs. I'm sure your "wife" thinks you're a real peach...

  85. Anonymous10:20 PM

    I'm a 22 year old female. Just graduated college six months ago, work full time at a large company, and have no children (and not planning on having any for quite some time). Here's my perspective: I wouldn't ever date a single father, and if I was a male, I'm sure I would take a similar stance in regards to dating a single mother. I understand that life happens, and that partners can die or people get divorced after many years of a marriage that started out promising but took a turn south. That's not really what I'm referring to in my opinion, however; I'm talking more about the (overwhelming amount and constantly growing) single mothers/fathers in my home town who are 23 and have 3 children, often by different fathers, and the oldest child is grade school age (indicating that they had that child in their teenage years). My stance on not dating a single parent is due to a number of reasons:

    1. Ever date someone with an annoying, obsessive ex that just won't go away? Add a child into that mix and you now have an ex that CAN'T go away due to the fact that the ex and your partner share the common bond of a child. It would be almost impossible to date your partner and not get dragged into the drama inadvertently.

    Part 1a. Going off of that point, you, as the new bf/gf, are indirectly competing with baby daddy/mommy. No matter how many times your partner claims they are over their ex and dismisses them as a threat, that person is still there. That alone is enough of a turn-off.

    2. As already addressed by the OP, children are, by default, a financial/emotional investment. There's the potential to sacrifice so much for a child who is not your own in order to appease a relationship that may not even work out.

    3. This point in particular applies to young (aged 16-24) single mothers/fathers: they most likely invested their time in their child during the years that most people attend college and begin their career, and thus could not invest that time in any form of higher education and a career. That's not saying that these people aren't goal-oriented, but it certainly makes things difficult in the present moment and for years to follow. You may effectively become the permanent breadwinner in this situation.

  86. Anonymous2:29 AM

    I couldn't even get through your whole list. Some men are interested in finding the right woman whether she be Mom or single. Thank goodness not all men think like you. You have a very narrow view of women and men.

    1. Men with no options will date single mothers
      Men who have options don't have too
      Single Mothers Are Bottom Of The Barrel!

  87. Anonymous11:40 PM

    Your article is dead on! I didn't want someone I cared about to go down this path and your article helped him see and think clearly, it's just not worth dating a single mother.

  88. Anonymous2:22 AM

    if I can give a advice to single mum.
    1)know that children are the first ungrateful of people, a child will never give back even 10% of what you can do for them because is unmeasurable

    2) Raising children may take 12-16 years only depending and they will do their life sometime like you don't exist and when they will be out your house they will sometime pass weeks without giving you a simple call so know the one who will hold your hand later make him a priority he will give back by loving your and your kin

    3) Don't fool yourself by Hollywood that you'll be happy without a someone on your side, none can be completely happy either a male or a female, remember the one who used to sing " I AM SINGLE LADY Oh oh oh
    " and now she's?
    4) Don't make yourself guilty to enjoy something a meal or a trip without your kids and accept the fact that they can also be happy without you.

    5)Don't border a man coming to your with your kids story. I he never saw someone selling chicken and
    giving away eggs for free.
    6) understand the fact that he doesnt want to be the father of your kids

    7)Remember that your a woman before to be a mum, you need affection,love,care,attention you need it you deserve it. it will make you a better mom believe me

  89. Anonymous10:17 AM

    For all you ladies out there what want call men losers, pigs, and say we havent been in a real relationship or even a date... let me say this, i just got out a four year relationship with a woman with three kids. Its true, the "single mom card" is played all too often. Its a womans go-to when we men get mad at the b.s. that comes with being in a relationship with a single mom. Its true, we men cannot take blame for anyones fuckups, its true, most single moms get drunk, fuck, and shit out a baby nine months later and thats supposed to make them specail? They are supposed to be the victim because they chose to keep a baby, decided not to have their man be able scold their kids, and now that the kids are out of hand; we gave to listen, respect, understand, but no say anything? See anything you say to a single mom is taken as critisim because they already they messed up big time. All the while, we generation of men 25-40 were thought to be partners in a relationship. We know how to cook, clean, do laundry, mauntain cars, bring up the becan and its supposed to be ok when a single mom isnt being a WOMAN to her man. All the while, she, along with her lazy bastard kids watch tv while you clean the dishes; the same damn dishes you(the man) used to them dinner from scratch? We arent supposed to be mad? We arent supposed to formulate opinion based on fact? Not a word or thank you, not an offer to help clean, oh and by the way, no blow job later because she is so "tired" from being a single mom. If we suck in bed, let us know. We wont mond the critisim and it will just make us work harder to please you in bed. But, it isnt about pleasure. We had managed to make you orgism before(or alteast we felt the contractions abd you confirmed thst it was indeed an orgism). Of course it could have been a lie, after all single moms are the best liars on earth. And we are supposed to sit by, cook, clean, work, do laundry, and watch as you get over your bullshit depression by being knocked up by a guy who is no no where to be found. You lure in, make us fall in love, have us fall in love and then we cant be mad at the bullshit? All the while you never had it better. Single, childless guys, save yourself the hastle, time, money, anger and gray hairs. Dating a single mom is no where to be.

  90. Anonymous1:29 PM

    As someone who has dated single mothers unfortunately I can only agree with the points made. I did vow to never date a single mother again after dating a woman with two children by two different fathers. Indeed the father of the second child was always in the background causing a rift in the relationship. Another more recent occasion I dated very briefly a single mother who was in the process of divorcing her husband with whom she had one child. Again the husband came back on the scene causing problems a year after they had split however they have not reconciled. Instead I found out she had met someone else and moved him in with her within two weeks of meeting him. I feel very sorry for the child as this must be so unsettling for them. My experience of dating single mothers has been an eye opener. These single mothers claim to put their children first but actually I think they put themselves first, children second, cat, dog car and house next on the list and any chump gullible enough to think they can be the one to save her bottom of the pile. My only advice to anyone considering dating a single mother is to not bother. Just not worth the hassle!!!

  91. Anonymous9:25 AM

    As a woman, I should side with the women on this one. However, I did date a couple of single fathers before I met my husband (childfree husband), and I'm sorry ladies, but.... The truth hurts. You guys don't see it because you're seeing things from the inside out, not the outside in. Even though the single fathers I dated were not alike in any way (they were actually completely different races), the BS was the same, and the end result was the same: They both wound up reconciling with the mother of their kids, and they both wound up having more children with that woman. The one lesson I quickly learned was, when dealing with a single parent (not gonna just give single mothers the short end of the stick) is, the story they initially tell you as to WHY they are a single parent is THEIR side, and THEIR side is not always THE TRUTH. The first single father I dated told me she got pregnant during a one night stand. I just so happened to work with one of her friends, and her friend told me she actually hooked them up, that they were dating. The second single father I dated? Told me he got custody of his kids because the mother was in jail. The truth was he too was also in jail, and the only reason he got custody was because HIS MOTHER was the one who went to bat for those kids, She actually registered as a foster parent just to get the kids back in her possession while he was locked up. He left all that out. And the end result was him going back to his kid's mother and lying to me about it, I found out from his friend. I stayed single for almost four years before meeting my husband, because I simply refused to date a man with children. Another factor is, the kids. You grow a bond with them, you grow to love them, and that single parent you're dating can decide they aren't happy anymore or decide to go back to the parent of their child, and basically kick you to the side without any type of regard of how it would affect you or their children. All that time and money you wasted, you will never back. And it took me a long time to get over the pain I felt, I raised my ex's kids from 18 months to almost 4 years old (twin boys). I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was at that point I made it a point to avoid single fathers. I didn't care about the situation, I didn't care if the kids were a little older, I simply said No. And I found my husband, that also went through a similar situation with a single mother, and also made the same decision I did, never date a single parent. And we found each other. To the men out there, please just remain by yourself until you find that right girl. Don't put yourself through the headache.

  92. Anonymous1:56 PM

    I wish I read this 4 years ago and listened to my father also. The woman I dated had older boys from 2 different fathers. Late teen and early 20's. She was 36 when I met her. She still pays for and coddles both of them. Narcissist who doesn't care who she hurts as long as she gets her way. Always looking for the bigger better deal to come along and it finally did. Thankfully I wasn't stupid enough to move her in. Single childfree men take our warning and just keep moving when you meet a single mother regardless of how gorgeous or successful they are. I have my own money and want my own children, not some other mans orgasm(s). History usually repeats itself.

  93. I love how these cowards post their comments as "Anonymous". It's always easier to hate anonymously. Disgusting article, disgusting topic, and disgusting people commenting against single mothers.

    1. Anonymous12:45 PM

      Hahaha! It's simple, they don't want single women like you stalking them. It's "that" bad. Now go and try other shaming tactics, Felicia.

  94. Anonymous10:00 PM

    As a woman, I agree single people should not date people with children from previous relationships. I personally refuse to date men with children, obviously he was too dumb not to use protection. Single mothers just date single fathers, you guys deserve each other.

  95. This is the most stupidest article I ever read...seriously. You make single mothers sound awful and like they are some kind of disease. At least state facts before you put down single mothers. I swear people are getting more dumb everyday.

  96. Anonymous11:14 AM

    I get what you're saying but, dude, you're fucking wrong. I'm a mom of 2 kids. First off, my body got better than ever after I had kids with no effort of my own. I lost 75lbs with my 2 kids & gained 2 cup sizes. Im a size 8 now & was a 16 when I got pregnant with my first. And it is still going away! I had my first at 33. I waited for the right guy but guess what! I was lied to for years. So here I am, a fucking hot 36 year old with 2 little ones who really wants to be loved. You're saying that the drama & shit that comes along in a situation like this makes a lady not worthy of the love & the dedication that it would take to be with a mother. I'm a good mom, I'm am a good girlfriend, & I have lots of love inside. I'm worth the trouble & my kids are worth it too. We all deserve to be happy. Except for liars & decievers & people who write articles out of ignorance. You mentioned money a bunch. You make money to spend on things that make you happy. Extra money is there to spend on whatever you want. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have the balls to speak up about shit like that. I don't want to date anyone if I have more clit than he has balls. If you don't want to spend the money just say so! Men can do stuff do avoid getting a girl pregnant too. Plus, if a girl has an IUD a man can feel it. So you're saying that this is it but there's a solution to everything & if you find a woman with kids & you have concerns just talk about it & find a solution.

    1. If you're really are a hot 36-year-old, you still have kids and nothing but a risk and liability to any single guy. Plus, even if you're a "10" at 36, you still don't compare to an 18-21 year old chick who's a "6" or "7." Any single guy your age or much older, even if he's not that financially well-off, can easily still date one of them too. Men age like wine, women age like milk, especially when they come with another guy's womb turds to deal with.

    2. Would I rather date a "Hot" single mother of 2 chicks who is 36 or an "Average" 25 year old with no kids?

      I'll take the latter, kids aren't worth the drama

  97. It's women like you as why we don't date single mothers watch your foul mouth

  98. Can someone tell me what good that has dating single mother?

  99. Anonymous12:48 PM

    I really should check out this blog more often, very nice article there. I hope more women will come to see this, especially the single ones who just opened up their legs to anyone they met (which is a huge majority of single wh**es).

  100. Anonymous8:56 PM

    This has been a dilemma of mine recently as well. I'm 34 single with no kids and living in NYC. I think it's especially difficult to date someone with kids in this city. I recently met someone who is amazing inside and out, but has 2 kids. We get along great and I want to stay friends, but I also don't want to lead her on. I'm not a negative person so I usually try to look at the bright side of things and don't agree with all on this list.

    Bottom line for me is; as a man, with no kids, it is a natural desire to hope for one day to have kid(s) of my own. That just won't be possible with someone who already has 2 kids. I see 2-3 kids as being max. Anymore just seems selfish. It's not like the human race is at a risk of extinction, quite the opposite in fact.

    Anyways, I think compiling lists and generalizing people is dangerous and sends misleading messages. It's all up to personal preference, I suppose, but for a single person without kids to take on someone who already has them is quite a sacrifice and not to be underestimated.

  101. I had married a single pretty and educated women but her main interest was the kids and I was just a paying idiot for everything as she didnt work nor the two boys had child support from their biological father who lived outside the US and boys were the most spoiled and indiscipline I have ever seen so I tried to be their daddy by teaching them swimming,cycling...blah but I just couldnt do it anymore in finances and emotionally till my best friend took this women away from me and now I think that she cheated on me but this is a blessing disguise as I am more focus on myself and have overcome the divorce as she stole my business anyway...short comes first, second, third and me no position for a single mom so dont ever get involved with a single mom as they emotionally not available for you ever

  102. Anonymous10:36 AM

    I was dating a 38 year old with 2 kids (from 2 different fathers), one 10 the other one 15. The fathers do provide child support, but ultimately, she carries the financial burden and responsibility to raise them. On my end, I'm 37, no kids never married, with a good career, and interest in starting my own family. I was going to be her third family. It was a shame as she's probably been the best girlfriend I've had in terms of chemistry from all standpoints, but long-term, deep inside I knew that it was not sustainable. Hard to end it, but I arrived to the conclusion that love is not enough, and that we should aim to be with someone who is in similar life stages / circumstances as yours.

  103. Anonymous7:36 AM

    Well....I really respect your honesty. It is refreshing. I can handle the truth, regardless of how ugly or unflattering it may, much better than useless babble. In all of these things you are not correct though. Specifically that all women want children. My first husband was a Pastor who left me & our 3 children (one of which was newly adopted) for another woman. I had no intention of ever having more children. I mistakenly remarried. This guy was a con artist who just wanted my money & for me to care for his 3 children. He said that he was sterile, but I had my last child at 42 years old & he set out for greener pastures after taking my money, home, and sanity. I adore my children, all 4. But I would never have intentionally brought another child into that hell. I personally have no desire to ever date or marry again. I am completely content with my children & God. There are single moms who still do wish for a family with the man in it & for a second chance at happiness. If all men were to take your advice, these women would hopeless. There are good, responsible, honorable men out there somewhere who do want the same thing. I hope that they are not discouraged by this article. It works sometimes. And many single moms have a lot to offer as well. They have grit, stability, sacrifice, determination, and much of their vanity is gone because of the changed body issue. There is a depth to a mom, especially single, that will never exist outside of those circumstances. God gives us those obstacles to mature us. And obviously you have not been tested yet, but it's probably in the plans. I hope that you learn from your lesson when it happens to you. Good luck to you and all single moms.

    1. I'm sorry those guys did those things.

      The odds are strongly against things working out for a man who marries a woman who has minor children. He is exposing himself to very serious risks for potential upsides that he can get elsewhere without the risks and obligations.


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