Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Five Basic Groups

There may some exceptions, but I think most heterosexual adults fall into one of these five categories when it comes to relating to the opposite sex.

1. Present Day Peer Pressure Norm – These are people who seek a girlfriend or boyfriend by dating and having sex, and if they find a boyfriend/girlfriend and that lasts long enough or conditions otherwise make it convenient, they move in together – or one moves into the other's place. If that lasts long enough, or perhaps because of pregnancy or children, they get married. The timing of the wedding is often determined by when it will be convenient to have the best party they can.

2. Independents – These are people who do not want to not want to marry and have children under current conditions, and do not seek sex. They'd rather live alone. They do not rely on someone of the opposite sex to entertain them on a regular basis, or financially support them. My guess is that there are many more men in this category than women, many of them identifying as "Men Going Their Own Way".

3. Marriage and Family Minded - These are people who are - or seek to be - married, and usually to be parents as well. They tend to place these desires over immediate sexual gratification and over living high on the hog.

4. Pleasure Seekers – These are hedonists, materialists, narcissists, game-players, or people who desire material possessions/expensive living and/or exploring sexual freedom over and above any desire to be parents or to be married, and intentionally behave toward these ends. Women in this category tend to seek to extract as much wealth from men as possible, by marriage if necessary. Men in this category tend to seek as much sex from as many different women as possible.

5. Passive/Confused – These people let life wash over them. They may get married because their partner pressures them into it, or simply asks. They may become parents because their partner asked for it. They don't display strong desires or a cohesive pattern of behavior towards a lifestyle goal. They may not have any idea what they really want. Guys in this category take sex when it falls into their laps (so to speak), unless, perhaps, they happen to be married to someone else, and tend to knock up their girlfriends or casual dates simply because they were too lazy to use a condom. Women in this category are easy prey for males who just want casual sex, and men in this category are easy prey for women who want someone else to pay their bills or just want some attention. These people are not likely to be the kind of people who accomplish a whole lot, professionally or otherwise. They tend to let their immediate feelings and emotions "lead" them, especially their sex drive.


Pop culture mostly assumes and reinforces category 1.

As far as I can tell, followers of Christ, if they are being true to their faith, can only fall under 2 or 3.

Some people in category 2 date, but those who do so should be very clear of their intentions with their dates; they are best off dating other people from category 2 if they are going to date at all.

People in category 3 should avoid dating/courting anyone in any other category.

People in category 4 should avoid dating people in categories 2 and 3. When people from 4 date each other, unless they are both looking just for casual sex, it is a battle to see who “wins” – in other words, how much money a golddigger can get out of a guy relative to how much sex he’s getting, or how much sex a guy can get spending as little as possible. Leykis 101 is in this category, teaching guys how to "get more sex for less money".

Some people in 2 and 4 are in those categories because they are highly driven individuals who want to focus on career, wealth building, and other personal interests or things that are either solitary or done with friends and believe that serious relationships, marriage, and parenting are a hindrance to these things.

People in categories 1, 4, and 5 may be likely to engage in "hook-ups". Guys in category 4 count on it.

It is possible that someone will change categories based on life experience, religious conversion or awakening, or whatever.

Am I being too simplistic? Am I missing a significant category? I plan to referring back to this list in future blog entries – that’s the point of this list in the first place.

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