I'm 53, work in an office six to eight hours a day, and then come home to cook dinner and do household chores.
Sounds like life.
My husband, "Todd," is 48. He works eight to 10 hours a day and expects sex three to four times a week.
I'm exhausted and can't do it anymore!
Then quit your job. Marital lovemaking isn't supposed to be a chore. Be happy your husband, who is younger, still wants your 53-year-old body. This is yet another example of why some men avoid marriage.
My best friend, "Mavis," has been a widow for five years. She tells me she's going crazy because she hasn't had sex in all this time. She asked if I'd share Todd just one night a week.
Mavis could be having sex if she wants. She could be doing so with a new husband, or fornicating with a steady or different guys. It is her choice, really, although she's not going to have the best men to choose from. Maybe that is why she is trying to horn in on your man. Don't compound the problem by inviting her to commit adultery with your husband.
Mavis isn't pretty, but she has a very shapely figure. Frankly, I'm ready to agree, but I haven't mentioned it to Todd.
Don't. Either he'll like the idea, or be profoundly hurt or disgusted. Neither would be a good reaction.
If my husband agrees, it would take a lot of pressure off me and I could sure use the rest. What are your thoughts on this arrangement?
Have you called the folks at TLC? They could film all of this. I'd recommend MTV, but you're over 25.
Dear Abby, who has no problem endorsing fornication as long as adultery isn't involved, gets all judgmental:
Please find another way to take a break. What you're contemplating would likely be the beginning of the end of your marriage.
So? Sounds like she's not so happy in it and is breaking or wants to break the vows anyway. If she had instead written to you and said the truth another way – that she is unhappy with her husband and sexually incompatible, wouldn't you tell her to leave him anyway?
You may think you'd be "safe" because Mavis isn't pretty, but to quote Benjamin Franklin, "In the dark, all cats are gray."
From what I understand, Franklin would know. Actually, given the wife's attitude and Mavis' "hunger", it would be easy for the husband to find Mavis to be a much better lover regardless of how she looks.
If you're tired, let Mavis help with the chores -- but not this one.
She didn't offer a solution. Sex isn't supposed to be a chore. How about dropping down to part-time work? Or hiring domestic help? Her husband probably does things around the house, too – notice she doesn't say he doesn’t lift a finger around the house. But he's not too tired for sex. Something tells me she wouldn't be too tired for sex with George Clooney.
Doesn't sound like they have minor children in the mix. Imagine if they did. That's the reality of so many married couples theses days. Both have full work schedules and they have minor children. Why? Often because women have been told they must have careers outside the home, and they wouldn't respect their husbands if their husbands didn’t also have careers. Or because people think they need bigger homes, more cars, more vacations, more toys. Or they are trying to save up to fork over money to some increasingly expensive and ever-worsening institutions of indoctrination, er, uh, higher learning.
Anyway, back to the idea of having another woman do some of the "heavy lifting". Be honest, ladies, if nobody else would find out and there wasn't a religious issue, do you think you'd consider something like this? Or maybe you'd be the one who'd want someone else (male or female) in addition to your hubby. Men can be deeply in love with and attracted to their wives, and still find other women strongly attractive. Given male sexual nature, I think most men would take on another woman if there wasn't a religious issue and if the wife would be agreeable. We have plenty of examples of men who do this even with the religious prohibition and even though it hurts their wives deeply.