Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Should These Common Rules Be Ditched?

Lisa Cericola, who has written for Cosmopolitan and First for Women, writes about six "dating rules" that she thinks should be dumped.

Rule #1: Never date a coworker - Obviously, there are plenty of good reasons to be cautious if you’ve fallen for someone you’ll be running into every day at the office. But unless your company handbook forbids relationships between employees, there’s no reason why you should abandon any hope of romance.
No reason? Maybe not, if you've got a vagina or don't care about being fired. Any person with a penis who wants to keep his job, however, has plenty of reasons, thanks to sexual harassment laws and policies. It is not unlikely that a woman could regret a relationship after the fact, or get jealous of a relationship between coworkers, and file a complaint. Guess who will be handling the investigations and decisions about this? Mostly, it is women. Who are they going to side with when it comes down to "he said, she said"?

“Dating people you work with makes practical sense - after all, we spend so much of our lives in the office, there’s often no other way or time to meet anyone else,” says dating expert April Masini, author of Think & Date Like a Man.
Yes, yes, and you have a lot in common. Too bad. Certain feminists and female opportunists have poisoned the well, so this is one of those many things in life that has to suffer as a result. Now, do I think men should be crude and hound coworkers? No. If I had control over a workplace and the ability to fire someone for any reason, I'd fire any guy who treated my female employees this way. But that's not the world we live in now. Now, it is in the hands of others - the government and lawyers can get involved if a man pays a woman a compliment.

Rule #2: Rebound relationships never last - Give yourself time, they always say. While it’s healthy to mourn a relationship’s passing, that doesn’t mean you should ignore anyone great you meet while you recoup.

Rule #3: Never date a friend’s ex - Your friends’ exes are usually off limits when it comes to dating… but what if you felt a genuine connection with a friend’s old flame?
Most friends can't handle this. If that is the case, you are choosing between the two. Personally, I wouldn’t care if my friends dated any of my girlfriends. There's one I would have warned my friend about, but other than that, it would have been fine by me. But then, I didn't mind bumping in to any of them.

Rule #4: Only date one person at a time
That is a stupid rule. You should also be exclusive with someone if you’re on the verge of engagement, engaged, or married. Even my mother, who was a virgin when she married my father, had the attitude that as long as there wasn't a ring on her finger, she was free to date anyone she wanted to date. Likewise, whether you are saving your virginity for your spouse or you're sexually active, dating only one person is not the way to go. Dating is a numbers game.

Rule #5: Wait for your date to say “I love you” first
This rule commits suicide if both people follow it. Or maybe that’s not the right term. Maybe it is a Mexican standoff.

Rule #6: Couples who are in love spend all their free time together
Ugh. No, they don't. And they don't have to constantly be in conversation, either. Someone who insists on always being together and always talking is likely a control freak or very insecure.

Can you think of any other commonly held rules or commonly given dating advice that you think is wrong?

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