What Happened Next Door

If you'd told me when I was twelve years old that multiple women who'd appeared in Playboy magazine were going to live in the Playboy mansion, appear in the magazine multiple more times, and be in a "reality" cable television show with Hugh Hefner, I would have known that those women, who were several decades younger than him, were going to expected to be his girlfriends and have sex with him even though he was old and not in the best shape and not committing to any of them, and they would be expected to participate in parties whether that seemed like fun or more work, and that what they were going to get out of this deal was fame, money, access, networking, and visits to Disneyland and wherever else. He's an older man, not in the best shape, and yet these women were going to have to show him a good time.

I would have known that at twelve.

My siblings would have known.

What thinking person over the age of sixteen wouldn't have known this?

But once Hefner was dead, and thus no longer useful, he was cast as a villain by some of the people who used to praise him and cling to him.

Nope. Not buying it.

If you weren't saying this was bad behavior at the time, but rather were profiting off of it, you don't get to bash him now and get any sympathy or points from me at all. Those women knew exactly what they were signing up for. The same goes for anyone going to an adult party at the mansion. Of course staff, such as cooks, cleaners, etc. shouldn't be targeted for harassment, but it was the Playboy mansion; home to a man who built the magazine and brand from the ground up. Nudity and shenanigans should have been expected.

Dr. Laura is Wrong About Prenups For First Marriages - GET ONE!

Well, it happened again. [This entry has been bumped up from May 2018.] While I agree with Dr. Laura on so much, one thing I definitely disagree with her on is the issue of prenuptial agreements for first marriages. While she urges prenups for "second" marriages when at least one potential spouse has children, she is vehemently against prenups for childless people entering into a first marriage (people shouldn't be marrying if they have minor children).

A woman called in on yesterday's show (April 30, 2018) who sounded happy with her boyfriend, but when the topic of marriage came up, he stated he'd want a prenup. Dr. Laura told the caller (and, as a result, listeners in the same situation) to dump the boyfriend.

This is rare bad advice from her that she gives consistently.

Finding a match for marriage is difficult. The caller (or a listener) could be throwing away a perfectly good match and will now seek out a man who will be willing to sign really bad contracts. Is it really a good idea to enter into a financial partnership (marriage) with someone willing to sign bad financial contracts???

The fact is, the courts already have a prenup for you. It is based on family law in your state. You might as well be encouraged to come up with your own customized one before a marriage license is issued.

Getting a prenup is no more a sign that someone is planning for divorce than homeowner's insurance is planning for your house to burn down. We buy insurance and prepare in other ways for all sorts of things we hope don’t happen or we plan the avoid. Why let the state, which doesn't care at all about morality or how either spouse behaved, decide for you, when you can decide – somewhat – for yourself?

"Ah, but this is different because you can resolve to not leave your spouse and treat them well so they won't leave you."

Let's be real.

So She Has Moved On - Now What?

Guys, has she just dumped you, officially or not?

This is the time of year when a lot of men find themselves dumped, left, served with divorce papers, or that "the woman in their life" has checked out from the relationship or is with other men (online or in the flesh). You were with her for Thanksgiving, maybe with her at your family's place or you being her guy-to-show-off at her family or friend's place. You got her Christmas presents. You were there for her on New Year's Eve, maybe even spending a lot of money. And you made a big deal about Valentine's Day.

But she was planning to leave after she got what she wanted. Or you didn't jump through the hoops right (in many cases, nobody can).

And now you're finding out why I told you to become scarce in November, and you should have listened to me.

So now what?

Recent Dear Abby Columns Should Be a Warning Against Marrying

A couple of recent Dear Abby columns caught my eye. You can really learn a lot about why you don't want to get married or have children by reading Dear Abby.

SPOIL ME, PLEASE, IN OHIO wrote:

My husband and I have been happily married for seven years. He recently graduated from his final residency, and after 11 years of post-high school education, he is finally out practicing.

During all those years, I supported us financially.

Awwww, how nice!

How to Date Without Spending A Lot

GARY IN LONGWOOD, FLA, whose father must be out of the picture, wrote in to Dear Abby to ask:

How do you attract single women while on a budget?

Joke about the name of the place you are from. Actually, no, that’s probably not a good idea.

Everyone should be on a budget, regardless of income. There is also no reason to spend a lot of money dating women you don't know. First of all, if you’re a Category 3, then any woman who dates you should understand that you are reserving your money for your marriage. She should appreciate that you plan so well for the future with your wife.

But if you're a Category 4, one of the important things to discover about life is that a woman generally decides whether or not she's going to have sex with you within the first few minutes of seeing you, before you have spent a dime on her. So you don't need to spend money on her - but it is helpful to let her or lead her to believe that you do have money, so she thinks there will be some nice expensive gifts later on.

So, dress nicely. You don't have to spend a lot of money to look like you have it. Get in shape if you aren't, and keep yourself clean and groomed. After all, you have to catch her eye.

Tom Leykis (who I've been referencing a lot of lately – I guess I miss his old radio show) advised never spending more than $40 on a date. Spending less, according to him, is even better.

Sit in a bar like you are waiting for a buddy to show up, and don't stare at the women. Hot women hate to be ignored, and they already know the guys who are crowding them and buying them drinks are interested, so eventually some of them will start to approach you, and even ask if you'd buy them a drink. Tell them you don’t buy drinks for women you don’t know, but while you’re waiting you can talk. If they walk away, then you've just smoked out a woman who is just looking for guys to buy her drinks.

Or, rather than waiting, have a buddy help you out with a plausible story. He has to behave like he doesn’t know you. He can approach one the choice women and explain that he's a fan of yours… that you are the next great golfer or that you're a great businessman/investor who is rising quickly up the list of the richest people in the world… but he's too embarrassed to ask for your autograph himself, so he needs her to get it. You can return the favor for him next time.

It is fairly easy to create bogus ATM receipts with inflated numbers. Act like it is the only thing you have to write your number on.

You should try to take her back to her place rather than yours, but there are things you can do in case you do end up at your place. Leave bogus bank statements with inflated numbers where the little snoop will find them when you're out of the room. You can also have a friend record a fake answering machine message you can pretend to be listening to for the first time, in which your friend plays the part of your business lawyer or agent or manager and tells you that the deal has been completed, or maybe he is the head of you accounting team and he reports that he has confirmed the transfer of the several hundreds of thousands of dollars into your account. Hey, then it is time to celebrate, right?

You can explain away your meager car and place as temporary because you're in from out of town, or you had a fire, or any other number of excuses.

In setting up a date, ask her, "What time are you having dinner?" She'll tell you. Then tell her you’ll meet her for drinks at a time that is about 90 minutes later than that. Or, if possible, offer to bring over some wine and a DVD (Don’t bring over a movie with rape or sexual assault or anything that is going to turn her off.) If you do get snookered in to taking her to dinner, eat before you meet up with her, then order the salad. Most women would never order something heavier than what their date is ordering.

Conversely, if she calls you and asking what you're doing on the weekend, answer "Having sex."

It is possible for poor guys to get women. Even condemned murderers get women, but that’s because they have some level of fame. Some women are having sex as casual as can be these days, but they want some excuse and some plausible deniability. Letting them think you are rich and letting them drink provides both.

Oh, by the way, Dear Abby responded:

Matinees cost less for admission than late shows, and if there are any museums that are not too far away, check out free museum days.

True. But do not take her to the movies or museum if you’re a Category 4.

A picnic in the park or a day at the beach doesn't cost a lot -- and neither do outdoor activities such as biking or hiking.

True. The beach, biking, and hiking are also a good excuse to offer to soap her up in the shower. However, you want to avoid seeing her in the daylight if you are a Category 4.

You really don't have to have a lot of money to attract a nice woman. And anyone who makes you feel otherwise is someone you should run from.

No, you don’t need to have a lot of money to attract a nice woman. But attracting a hot woman usually involves appearing to have a lot of money (or fame, or power), or the potential to get some. Let's cut the crap. Even a "nice" woman wants some level of financial security. If she's looking to get married and raise kids, that takes at least enough money to pay the bills on a suitable home and everything else that goes along with raising a family. Other women want a guy with money so that they can buy stuff they don't need or live a life of leisure while paid help takes care of everything, including any kids.

Some people like to say that it doesn't matter that the guy isn't well off financially, but let's get real. How many highly attractive women spend a lot of time with broke guys?

Fortunately for those of us in the USA, it is still possible for a guy to work his way up the economic ladder.

And while I do not condone lying, I also don't condone women fornicating because they think they are getting their hands on a rich guy.

When Divorce Lawyers Get Greedy

Another woman who has "grown accustomed" to the leisurely high life on someone else's earnings and is now getting a divorce and making news. Associated Press Writer Dave Collins has the story.

A 36-year-old Swedish countess divorcing a former CEO says she cannot live on $43 million.

She should have married Paul McCartney.

Marie Douglas-David, a former investment banker, says she has no income and needs her 67-year-old husband, George David, to pay her more than $53,000 a week — more than most U.S. households make in a year — to cover her expenses.

And why doesn't she have any income?

David and Douglas-David married in 2002, but the marriage was in trouble by 2004, court papers show.

So let's see... if you count 2002 until now, $43 million is over six million dollars per year. And those weren't even all good years. That's not generous enough? What exactly did she do during this marriage? Did she cook? Clean? Do any actual domestic management? Raise his kids? Help him with work? Do his shopping for him? Care for him while he was sick? Look out for his health? Pick out his wardrobe? Look good on his arm? Provide consortium?

He could have been better off using that money to hire an image consultant, publicist, personal shopper, personal assistants, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, doctors and counselors, accountants, maids, cooks, an event planner and host, interior designer, professional consultants, and spend all of what would be left over on escorts and a harem.

Amid a series of reconciliations, the couple signed a postnuptial agreement in October 2005 that would give her $43 million when they divorce.

Douglas-David wants the agreement invalidated. She accused her husband of coercing her to sign it by preying upon her fears of being divorced and childless.

Either women are adults who can make their own decisions, or they aren't. The more judges – or Congressmen – toss out contracts, the harder it will be to get anything done. She agreed to the contract.

And notice... they don't have children together, unless they made some after she signed the post-nup. None are mentioned in the article, so my guess is that they didn't have any together and she probably didn't do much around the house, either.

She's asking to be awarded about $100 million in cash and stock, plus $130,000 a month in alimony.

Get a job!!!

David is asking a judge to uphold the agreement and order Douglas-David to vacate their Park Avenue apartment but keep their properties in Sweden.

Gee, what a heartless bastard.

Douglas-David has filed court papers showing she has more than $53,800 in weekly expenses, including for maintaining a Park Avenue apartment and three residences in Sweden. Her weekly expenses also include $700 for limousine service, $4,500 for clothes, $1,000 for hair and skin treatments, $1,500 for restaurants and entertainment, and $8,000 for travel.

1. Sell some of your places.
2. Learn to drive.
3. Wear some things more than once (it’s okay – clothes can be cleaned).
4. Learn to eat at home.
5. Learn how to shop online.
6. Buy some books and a home entertainment center.

You can keep up the hair and skin treatments. They might help you snag another sucker.

At that rate, Douglas-David would burn through $43 million in less than 16 years.

So??? I don’t know what the laws are there, but in California, the alimony rule is essentially one day of pay for every two days of marriage (provided the marriage lasted less than 10 years). So she should only get enough to last for three and a half years anyway - if the laws are the same.

Anne Dranginis, an attorney for David and retired Connecticut Appellate Court judge, predicted that Douglas-David will get much less money in the divorce if she doesn't accept the terms of the postnuptial.

I hope so. She should be punished for challenging a generous contract to which she agreed.

In court papers, Douglas-David said she quit her job as an investment banker for Lazard Asset Management to travel and entertain with David, who still earns $1 million a year from United Technologies.

So she's capable of making her own money. Let her.

When a woman and a man mutually agree to marry and that she'll stop or cut back on working outside the home so that she can take care of their children, him, their home, and some of their personal affairs, and then that husband breaks his vows and decides to leave while she has upheld her vows – I have no problem with a judge ordering him to pay 1) significant alimony; and 2) child support, hopefully to the point where she'll be able to raise the kids until they are grown, keep the house, and move on with her life. In fact, I think women agreeing to take up those roles and thus be out of the workforce should insist on pre-nups that will provide for her needs.

But I do not support gold-digging.