Shady Siblings?

An anonymous American female in her 50s wrote at Dear Cupid:

I have a suspicion that my boyfriend is having an incestuous relationship with his sister.

Okay, well, stop seeing him. There's really not anything else to do. If he is, then you don't want to be with him. If he's not, then you're too suspicious for him. Or perhaps he’s too close (in a platonic way) with his sister. Be glad he's your boyfriend, not your husband.

Before I met her, she was always very jealous of me which I found very odd.

That can happen with any siblings.

We finally met and she actually lives with us temporarily.

"Us"? So you're shacking up with him? (It gets better... I've read ahead some.) Is this your place, his place, or are both of your names on the place? If it is your place, kick him out. If you are renting, move.

We went to dinner with my son and she sat between my boyfriend and me and they talked low to each other the whole night.

They were being rude. Manners are more important than morals?

Then when we got to my son's house from the restaurant my bf went to the bathroom. She ran in the house to the bathroom door banging on it for him to let her in. When he didn't she stood outside the door till I walked by then she left.

It is quite likely that she wanted to use the bathroom before he did, or she likes bothering him.

Later I heard them talking about sex.

Adults sometimes do this.

The next morning she went up to him and said in a low voice "I thought you were going to show me something" and he said he couldn't cause my son had to get up early and get in the bathroom.

If they're talking about having sex with each other, then they aren't doing a very good job of hiding it from you, could they? Don't you think they would?

Since she's been in my apt I've come home several times to the bed in my room messed up in the same way it would be had my bf had oral sex with me.

Is your boyfriend a complete idiot? He must be, if he is doing someone (sister or not) in your bed and not cleaning up. (Of course, later, she says they grew up highly religious and sheltered, so it is possible that the sister could have a "secret" relationship and could be using the writer’s bed either because it is bigger or just to be rude.)

Also I know she's been using my shower but she doesn't know I know.

So what?

They are 25 and 28.

Ah-HAAAA! Now, you can read past entries here and know that I have enjoyed being a younger man to an older woman. But really... she has these two 20-somethings, who are probably close in age to her son, living with her, and she's taking the relationship seriously with the guy?

I've been using a tape recorder but so far have nothing.

That could be illegal. She added later:

Ok for those who think I'm being too suspicious, I overheard her tell him she's still so tight down there because she's a virgin as if he knew first hand.

Well then we know they at least aren't having intercourse. This kind of talk may be strange, but it still isn't a smoking gun.

Is that something a sister would say to a brother?

Some. My wife's virgin ears used to be assaulted with her siblings talking about their sexual activities. Only not with each other. I think. See below.

And also I know from checking her things in her bathroom that she has been grooming herself and it looks like for the first time from the looks of things. Why would she do that?

Swimsuit?

He also made a joke one day that he liked young, hairy girls supposedly talking about the cat but I don't think he was talking about the cat.

Are you on meds? Should you be? He might also like Greek food, and didn't the Greeks have a story...Oeidipus Rex...about incest?

Also, every time I've suspected something happened, he's always wanted sex with me that night which tells me something during the day really turned him on.

Hmmm. Often, a guy who has had an orgasm earlier in the day will be less inclined to want sex later that same day. But then again, he is in his 20s. The writer also thinks it is a matter of the brother giving the sister oral sex and, apparently, not getting a release until later, with her.

She was abused by her dad growing up and her family life was horrible.

So there could be some messed up behavior as a result.

Well, there's no smoking gun, just a cumulative circumstantial case, but it doesn’t matter. The current situation isn't right for you, whatever it really is.

I could made a good case that two of my wife's siblings are doing it. I'll call them Robert and Alice.

A least one classmate gave Robert sexual favors as a going away present when the family moved to another region of the country. He was only 13, so he got started early. He ended up staying in that other region of the country when the family moved again so that he could complete high school and go to college in that area. This means that Robert didn't see the rest of the family much, including Alice (who is younger), during some crucial years. Siblings who mature apart from each other sometimes experience sexual attraction.

Robert and Alice have both messed around with the same girl.

Though he has sex with them, Robert keeps his women at a distance, and that seems to be fine with them for a while - they'll take what they can get before they or he moves on. Alice bounces from boyfriend to boyfriend rather quickly, and I’m fairly certain she is having sex with very few of them. Marriage doesn't appear to be in the near future for either of them.

After Robert moved back home, Robert, Alice, and my wife's other sibling moved out of the parental home together to share an apartment, then moved back in, and then Robert and Alice moved out together again. They have since moved together again to yet another rental. They have a history of "partying" together. I've noticed they will do horseplay with each other and share the hot tub. When the family is gathered for the day or the evening often with some friends, they will often go off together even though they can hang out together back at their place. It isn't because they are shy, either – they are very outgoing.

The other sibling refers to Alice as Robert's wife (to Alice's protests), and Alice does act very protective of Robert, even though he is older and can handle himself. For example, she'll badmouth his girlfriends if she thinks they have wronged Robert. On social networking sites, Robert has sometimes sent out updates referring to "we", inclusive of Alice.

So... in either case, what say you? Are the siblings in either case too close? Are they that close?