I’m a 45-year-old professional woman who’s been with a really great guy for nine months. He broke up with his girlfriend of five years to be with me.That’s interesting. How did that happen, unless he started seeing you behind her back?
He’s kind and thoughtful (takes my shoes off after a hard day, brings me coffee in bed in the morning, spoils my dog), sweet, loving and very sexual.How does he do all of that, given you aren’t married and not living together... right?
He has his place, and I have mine.As it should be when you are dating. I guess he must have a key to your place?
We make plans to see each other two or three times a week, but he cancels or just doesn’t show up at least half the time.Very interesting.
He makes no excuses, doesn’t apologize and gives no details.He's got game.
I honestly don’t think he’s cheating.Well of course he's not cheating. He's not committed to anyone, so how could be he cheating even if he's having sex with a bunch of women?
We have spoken about this issue many times, yet I find myself sitting at home in my bathing suit: We’d made plans to go to the beach, but he went to an amusement park with his buddies.It works for him. He gets to keep having sex with you, and still do everything else he wants.
I've never met his buddies, except for two, or been invited to any of his functions.Sounds like Leykis 101 student, although she does fall out of the target age range for his students who are out of their early 20s.
He says a lot of his friends are in his ex-girlfriend’s circle and he wants to give it time before he brings someone in.Oh, that's a good one.
I’m at the point where he makes plans with me and I expect them to be broken.He's got you well trained. Do you ever actually go out with him? Or are you just a booty call?
I hate feeling this way.And yet you enable it.
One last thing: He was in a very bad accident 10 years ago. He had a traumatic brain injury and says it affects his relationships and thought processes.Oh man, that's another good one. Let's assume it is true. So what? Do you want to put up with this for the rest of your life? If it is a lie, it certainly is a useful one. He gets an excuse for everything and gets sympathy.
What’s the big picture that I’m not seeing?You're one of his sex toys.
Dear Margo pretty much agreed. She points out that he could be married.
As long as women put up with this, there will be guys who do it. It really doesn't matter to the guys whether or not these women have graduate degrees or not, what kind of money they make, or anything like that. All they care about is that the woman will continue to have sex with them without being too much trouble (including asking "too much" of them).