Sunday, September 26, 2010

He's the Poindexter

This guy is in a horrible position. SAD AND ANGRY IN EAST TEXAS wrote in to Dear Abby:

I had a suspicion that my wife's attentiveness to a neighbor was more than casual. He's a womanizer who boasts about his extramarital affairs to anyone who will listen.

I noticed some marks on my wife's body, and when I asked how she'd gotten them, her response was evasive.
Yeah, there are very few reasons a wife won’t readily tell her husband how she got marks on her body.

I found it so off-putting that I installed surveillance cameras in our house.

The cameras revealed in detail what has been going on. Our family and friends think my wife is prim and proper. It turns out she is anything but. In fact, I'm no longer sure I fathered our children.
You can easily get DNA tests, and this is why I think she should be conducted by default at birth. But at this point it won't matter even if they aren't biologically yours. The laws in most places still tag you as their financial and legal father. That means your wife can divorce you, take half of the marital assets, exact alimony from you, shack up with the guy, AND still get child support from you. Nice, huh? Actually, I understand Texas is more reasonable when it comes to alimony. Not sure about the other things.

And if your children think of you as their father, you shouldn't tell them otherwise. You're already invested in them. They are, morally, your children.

Would it be wrong to send copies of her video activities to everyone so they can see who she really is?
Sell it on the Internet. Just kidding. It might be illegal to distribute.

Does your wife know you have video proof? It is so sad that she's attracted to that guy. I guess you just haven't been enough of a jerk for her. You're the walking wallet. The nice, safe, respectable Poindexter who she picked to be her cover.

I know you are pissed off, but think about your (yes, your) kids. Talk with a good attorney and see if there is any financial benefit to filing for separation or divorce now as opposed to when the kids are grown.

I would see if your wife would be agreeable to you living in separate rooms so that you can be there for the kids. And see if you can get a restraining order so that the other guy can't come into your place or be near your kids. Or, if your wife wants to work it out and you can stand to try, move away from that guy. But the problem isn't really him, it is your wife.

Get tested for STDs.

Save the video and keep backup copies elsewhere – only pull it out to go nuclear. Maybe you should have a talk with the guy’s wife? She has to know he’s doing other women. Heck, maybe you two can keep each other company? Wouldn’t that be ironic. Actually, that would probably not work out well.

1 comment:

  1. Curiepoint8:08 AM

    Be careful, here....

    Telling the wife of the interloper would probably not accomplish much, and if she were amenable to keeping company with another man, she would be doing so already. Plus, it opens up a whole 'nother can of worms should divorce begin. The judge tends to look unfavorably upon men who take on an affair of his own just because the wife is doing so. In fact, it makes it much easier for her to paint him as being the "real" monster in the marriage, because obviously he doesn't care about her. They will actually hold him responsible for the dissolution of the marriage because he didn't seek reconciliation.

    My advice is similar to yours with regards to the tapes and the STD testing. But, I would take it one step further in confronting the wife without remorse and with a heavy immunity against any tears that come from her...and they will. If his name is on the mortgage, I would have her removed from the home. Trust me, he does not want his kids being cared for by an adulteress.

    And, I would not entertain any thoughts of reconciliation. Once and adulterer always an adulterer. Nothing exhausts a man more than constantly looking over his shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Once she cheats, and then reconciles, she will only be smarter in her manner of cheating next time around, and use those smarts to end the marriage on her terms.

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