The Reformed Ho

The Rational Male and others have been making much of what appears to be the trend of sex workers or de facto sex workers, and self-identified promiscuous women “finding Jesus” and becoming “born again” church girls.

Let me make something clear right away.

If someone has truly repented and embraced the true Jesus as Lord and Savior, that’s a beautiful thing, whoever they are and whatever they’ve done.

A problem arises in that only the Lord knows for sure what’s going on in someone’s heart. We can only make guesses based on behavior, experience, and time. After all, Judas Iscariot was one of the Twelve Disciples, appearing to be a follower of Jesus.

That a woman has appeared to have repented and is attending church, even been baptized right there in front of everyone, does not obligate any man to wife her up.

By the way, that goes both ways. No man is owed a wife.

I generally discourage men from legally marrying, and almost as strongly discourage men from socially/religiously marrying. But if you’re going to marry, a supposedly reformed “ho” is probably a bad choice, even more so if you’re a virgin or have little experience, or are a lackluster/“vanilla” lover/not well hung.

Consider…

1. Even if she never says it, she’s going to be comparing you to many other men. It is almost certain she has been with many men more skilled, more exciting than you. It’ll be even worse if she ever rubs that in.

2. You’re going to think about that from time to time, and realize she picked you as her retirement plan.

3. You’re going to resent that she had her fun, exciting, passionate, wild, varied experiences and you sacrificed and waited, going without. And you might feel bad for thinking that way.

4. Perhaps frequently, guys will look at her and/or you a certain way, or she will look at them a certain way, or they might look at each other a certain way, and you’ll know that guy has at least seen her naked, maybe he’s been inside her, and he didn’t have to sign away half of his earnings, pledge exclusivity, maybe didn’t even have to romance her or take her on an actual date.

5. If you have kids with her, the kids will likely have to endure taunting from other kids (if she was in erotic media or web camming). I don’t think it’s OK to do that, but it’s likely to happen anyway. Your kids are likely to see some of her old work.

I could go on, but I explained many concerns that apply in general  to “body count” and can apply to the more specific situation of a “reformed ho” here:

Does a Woman’s Body Count Matter?

What the critics and cynics think is that these women have aged out, maybe brushed up against the wall a bit, and are looking for a retirement plan. Women younger and hotter than them have hit the scene, and so it’s harder for these experienced women to get the attention and money they used to.

So the women turn to the reliable, dependable churchgoing guy whose experience with women and their manipulations is scant, who will be happy to be having sex at all no matter how infrequent or restrained, who likely won’t be cheating on her, who will be pressured to accept her as redeemed and forgiven, and who will believe or be told it’s all his fault if anything goes wrong in the marriage because he’s supposed to lead and serve her.

Heck, she never even has to feign a headache. She can brush him off by saying she’s having flashbacks to her past, which, of course involved her being “used and abused” no matter how much it appeared she was enjoying herself and no matter how much she said at the time it was all her choice.

In response to the discussions about these situations, I’ve seen what amounts to “But what about promiscuous men?” Formerly promiscuous men might be better matches for formerly promiscuous women, though such men are more likely to still want a lot of sex. But as far as criticizing such men…  fair or unfair, we can, for the sake of argument agree that men shouldn’t have been promiscuous but also maintain there’s a difference, because of biological and sociological realities. Except in very rare cases, women ingest or absorb more body fluids from men than the other way around. That’s just a part of the biological reality, as is the fact that it’s women who carry pregnancies, not men, making it problematic in the minds of some that she’s had the body parts and fluids of so many men in her.

Just part of the psychological and sociological consideration is her history of being abused, her relationship or lack thereof with her father, and her need for male attention. Those things, if present, can interfere with marital success.

Men who say that her redemption in Christ is what allows him to gladly take her as a bride despite her past likely have limits to that grace, even though Jesus can overcome anything.

“It doesn’t matter if she had hundreds of men.”

OK. But would you still say it doesn’t matter if she…

-had thousands of men

-had many women as lovers

-engaged in group sex

-was with many men married to her friends

-was with otherwise evil men, knowing they were evil

-was with 13 year-old boys

-was with dogs

-was with horses?

And yes, there are many women out there who’ve done one or more of those things.

Likely, there is some point at which the man says “Can’t be with a woman who did that.” Such men shouldn’t wag a finger at men who say they can’t be with a woman who has a three-figure body count, or even “just” a two-figure body count, even more so if those men have a low or zero body count.

Marriage is optional. And there are still men who want to marry (the poor saps!) who don’t want to be married enough to override the turnoff of a woman’s sordid past. That significantly reduces the pool of wife material women.

But if a man is running game instead of looking for a wife, her past is much less significant, other than the requirement she NOT be a virgin and not have children. A promiscuous woman is a good thing to guys running game.

The bottom line here, no pun intended, is that yes, Jesus can bring redemption and healing, but if a man is foolish enough to be looking for a wife, all other things being equal (which rarely happens), he should pick a woman who hasn’t ridden the “carousel” thousands of times; that’s the natural inclination of most men who want a wife.

When The Attention Thirsty Change Tactics

Does a Woman’s Body Count Matter?

Don't Be This Guy

If they didn't have kids together, I'd call for someone to liberate this beaten dog of a man.

Emily Lefroy wrote this article that is somehow at nypost.com and not The Onion.

A mom-of-two has revealed how her husband’s addiction to porn almost ruined their marriage and tore their family apart — and is now desperately warning others to be careful of any secrets their partner may be hiding.

"Porn addiction" is a term used by grifters, charlatans, pushers of porn panic, and people whose partners are angry about them viewing porn. It is not a term used by serious mental health professionals.

Jourdan Kehr shared her story in an effort to warn others about the hidden secrets their spouses may be keeping from their wives, calling her own experience “truly unbearable.”

From the looks of it, she shared her story to try to humiliate at least one other person and to get herself attention.

Kehr had had a hunch something was off with her partner, but what she discovered on his phone, an old video of two people having sex open on his screen, she described, was “truly unbearable.”

“I couldn’t stop shaking and I felt like my soul had left my body,” the photographer, from West Virginia, US, told NeedToKnow.co.uk.

“I didn’t know how to go on and I didn’t know how it was possible for any human to survive being in this much pain,” she admitted. “It made me physically ill for months.”

There was a problem alright. She might be mentally ill or have a personality disorder.

She mistreated her husband.

While Kehr, who shared two children, aged five and one, with her husband of nine years, believes it’s normal to find other people attractive, she deems it “unfaithful” to lust and fantasize after them sexually.

Then just about every married person is unfaithful, by that definition. The only way a healthy man doesn't fantasize about other people is if he is actively, constantly trying to avoid it, and never screws up. Dr. Laura and Dennis Prager, both very strong about marriage, fidelity, and "traditional values" would both say this woman's behavior and standards are problematic.

Now, couples can set their own rules. If they mutually agree that using media can be "unfaithful," then that's up to them. Of course, I would tell a man to never ever agree to such relationships. If he does, however, he should specify what she isn't allowed to look at, too.

Five months after Kehr’s devastating discovery, the couple are now in a much better place, crediting copious sessions with therapists, support groups and sexaholics anonymous as helping them get through.

What a farce. That poor man. I hope he does a better job of hiding it until the kids are grown.

“The porn industry is corrupt and I hope that with time, more men will wake up to the very real dangers of porn on their mind, body and relationships,” she said.

Go ahead and name an industry that isn't "corrupt." The garment industry is "corrupt," but I bet she doesn't make all of her clothes from scratch.

“I don’t want to shame men or women for viewing pornography,” she continued.

"It's cheating and it's corrupt, but I don't want to shame people." Get out of here with that crap.

According to a study by The Recovery Village, 10% of U.S. adults admit to having an addiction to internet pornography. 20% of them are men and 17% women.

I couldn't believe that line was still in the article when I retrieved it. The implication is that 63% of porn "addicts" are not men nor women. They are genderless, or something.

It's too bad the article didn't include comments from some good therapists.

Unmarried ladies: If you can't handle the fact that a man is going to notice other women, depictions of other women, and fantasize about other women, don't marry a man.

Wives: If your reaction to normal male sexual nature in your husband who isn't having an affair is anything close to this woman's reaction, you need some serious help.

Men: Don't be this guy. If you haven't married, don't. If you're married with minor kids, and your wife hasn't indicated she'd be rational about this, hide it from her and don't be careless about it, at least until the kids are grown.

The Prom is For Girls and Gays

We’re facing Prom season again.

Every year, I note this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days (the the related events) that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention-whores and attention-whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column and this entry on increasingly showy proposals for dates.

Stop it, guys! Unless you're gay or trans and want to rub it into the noses of some uptight school staff or parents by taking someone of the same sex or wearing a dress, you don't really want to go to a dance, do you? You don't really want to take a girl to the prom, do you?

It a nutshell, here are my problems with the prom as it is these days:

When the Attention Thirsty Change Tactics

There are women who get enormous amounts of fame/attention, money, and/or power using their youthful sex appeal. They do it through modeling and/or acting, perhaps in "mainstream" movies and television shows, perhaps in cheesecake, erotica, or porn, whether pictures or video. Maybe their looks allow them to marry men with money, power, and/or fame.

Men tend to think women are at their most physically attractive when they are younger. Things start to decline at 25, and the decline accelerates at 30.

Are there beautiful women in their 40s, 50s, even 70s? Yes! But in general, women are at their most physically attractive when they're younger. That's a fact of life, whether I like it or not, and whether you like it or not.

One of the problems for the women who made their living via media based on their attractiveness/sex appeal when they were young is that the media in which they've appeared doesn't go away. Their appearance in Playboy when they were 23 is still around when they are 53. They're not just competing with newly "arrived" 20-somethings, but they are competing against their own younger selves.

Some of these women have decided the way to handle getting older is to attack the way they made a name for themselves.

When you're famous for something and then you switch to being in public opposition or criticism of that thing, you get a lot of attention and become a superstar in your new circles.

That's what some women have decided to do.

Keep in mind that most of the women who do this were very outspoken in defense of their old way of making money, back when they were in the thick of it. They rebuffed critics by insisting they were liberated, empowered, knew exactly what they were doing, in control, winking all the way to the bank, enjoyed what they were doing far more than other jobs.

They insisted they knew better than the critics, who were often accused of being stuck in the past, childish, uptight, simple-minded, trying to control other people. The women assured us they were enlightened, modern, in control of their situation, and doing something they enjoyed and found meaningful, that they understood the critics' positions and that the critics were thoroughly wrong.

And then... further down the line, with their bodies no longer anywhere like they were in their prime, lo and behold, they turn around, join in the criticism they previously assured us they had solidly debunked, and attack the people who helped them gain fame and wealth.

Of course someone has every right to discuss harassment, assault, shady business tactics, terrible people, and the drawbacks of a line of work. But recognize what is going on. Attention whores do what they do for attention (and money). They previously tried to make the very people they align with now look ignorant and inferior while presenting themselves as superior. Now they are working with the very people they used to mock. It isn't because they stumbled upon some new insight. It's because they aged out of the previous way of getting attention. They hit the wall.

They should be called out on it. "What do you know now that you didn't know then?" Just about anything they say will be something someone specifically told them and they scoffed about.

Most who enjoyed their fame don't do this, especially those who age gracefully. They quietly "settle down" or make the most of fan conventions or new roles.

Congrats to the Guys Who Avoided the Prom and Promposals

If you were enjoying your time in high school, you might be bummed that it was abruptly ended for you, especially if you were a Senior.

But guys, at least you have avoided The Prom and, hopefully, an embarrassing Promposal.

You're better off.

The Prom Is For Girls and Gays

Here we are again. I'm hearing about The Prom again.

Every year now, I note this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days (the the related events) that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention-whores and attention-whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column and now this entry on increasingly showy proposals ("promposals") for dates.

Stop it, guys! Unless you're gay and want to rub it into the noses of some uptight school staff or parents by taking someone of the same sex, you don't really want to go to a dance, do you? You don't really want to take girl to the prom, do you?

It a nutshell, here are my problems with the prom as it is these days:

1) Boys wasting money.

2) Another event where females are princess-ized, which is a problem as long as males are prevented, culturally/socially and often legally, from events that cater to them and are focused on them in a similar way. Go ahead and tell me... what event gives boys the equivalent of the prom, where the activities are all about things he wants to do, with the boys dressing the way they want to dress, the girls dressing the way the boys want them to dress, the girls paying for it and escorting the boys, and where the boys will go hang out with their friends during the event?

If you already have a date for the prom, break up with her. If you were planning to ask a girl, especially with some elaborate production, don't!

Some of you guys think that taking a girl to the prom means she will have sex with you. If she hasn't had sex with you yet, paying her way and being her display piece for the prom almost certainly will NOT make it happen. If she really is the kind of girl who will finally have sex with you because you took her to the prom, it's probably not worth it. You're far better off going straight to one of the "after parties". But even then, you're just asking for trouble, even more so if she's underage (even if YOU are underage). 

You're better off doing something else that night, even staying home and sleeping. If you're a very bad boy, you might want to track down a neighborhood "single" mom whose daughter is off to the prom that night and it has her (the mom) feeling nostalgic and over the hill. Just be careful or you'll end up a very young father.

The Prom Is For Girls and Gays

Here we are again. I'm hearing about The Prom again and Promposals. Ugh.

Every year now, I note this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days (the the related events) that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention-whores and attention-whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column and now this entry on increasingly showy proposals for dates.

Stop it, guys! Unless you're gay and want to rub it into the noses of some uptight school staff or parents by taking someone of the same sex, you don't really want to go to a dance, do you? You don't really want to take girl to the prom, do you?

It a nutshell, here are my problems with the prom as it is these days:

1) Boys wasting money.

2) Another event where females are princess-ized, which is a problem as long as males are prevented, culturally/socially and often legally, from events that cater to them and are focused on them in a similar way. Go ahead and tell me... what event gives boys the equivalent of the prom, where the activities are all about things he wants to do, with the boys dressing the way they want to dress, the girls dressing the way the boys want them to dress, the girls paying for it and escorting the boys, and where the boys will go hang out with their friends during the event?

If you already have a date for the prom, break up with her. If you were planning to ask a girl, especially with some elaborate production, don't!

Some of you guys think that taking a girl to the prom means she will have sex with you. If she hasn't had sex with you yet, paying her way and being her display piece for the prom almost certainly will NOT make it happen. If she really is the kind of girl who will finally have sex  with you because you took her to the prom, it's probably not worth it. You're far better off going straight to one of the "after parties". But even then, you're just asking for trouble, even more so if she's underage (even if YOU are underage). 

You're better off doing something else that night, even staying home and sleeping. If you're a very bad boy, you might want to track down a neighborhood "single" mom whose daughter is off to the prom that night and it has her (the mom) feeling nostalgic and over the hill. Just be careful or you'll end up a very young father.

Prom Season

Every year now, I note this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days (the the related events) that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention-whores and attention-whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column and now this more recent entry on increasingly showy proposals for dates.

It a nutshell, here are my problems with the prom as it is these days:

1) Boys wasting money.

2) Another event where females are princess-ized, which is a problem as long as males are prevented, culturally/socially and often legally, from events that cater to them and are focused on them in a similar way. Go ahead and tell me... what event gives boys the equivalent of the prom, where the activities are all about things he wants to do, with the boys dressing the way they want to dress, the girls dressing the way the boys want them to dress, the girls paying for it and escorting the boys, and where the boys will go hang out with their friends during the event?

March Madness

People have the right to protest, not riot, and not litter. And we all have a right to analyze their protests to see if what they're saying is true and what they want is a good thing. A lot of people have spread this essay by Dina Leygerman. Let's take a look at it. After that, I'll link to some coherent and reality-based stuff.

It has the headline, "You Are Not Equal. I’m Sorry."

A post is making rounds on social media, in response to the Women’s March on Saturday, January 21, 2017. It starts with “I am not a “disgrace to women” because I don’t support the women’s march. I do not feel I am a “second class citizen” because I am a woman….”

This is my response to that post.

Because, if you don't think you're a victim, by golly you're wrong!

McCarthyism: Don't Date Single Moms

She was hot in Playboy, I have to give her that. But she a woman with a minor kid, and commentators as diverse as Tom Leykis and Dr. Laura Schlessinger agree that dating a woman with a minor child is a bad idea. McCarthy has provided a good example why. Suzy Byrne reports:


"It's a trap!" A booby trap!

(Christopher Polk/Getty Images for NBCUniversal)

Jim Carrey has fired back at Jenny McCarthy, who said on "The Howard Stern Show" Monday that her ex-boyfriend basically turned his back on her autistic 10-year-old son Evan after their five-year relationship came to an end in 2010.

Carrey did not adopt the child, correct? Granted, he did make the mistake of dating a woman with a minor child and thus bonding with the child, but the child has a father.

"I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan's well being," the actor said in a statement. "It's unfortunate that Evan's privacy is not being considered. I love Evan very much and will miss him always."

That was so good I suspect it was written by a publicist. Give that person a raise.

McCarthy, 39, revealed that Carrey, 50, chooses to no longer see Evan and it's been very difficult for her son to not have the "Dumb and Dumber" star in his life.


Some of the comments after the article are right-on. I realize it is the nature of Stern's show to get people to talk trash about their exes and say things about their personal life that they shouldn't, but McCarthy has a habit of using her son in her attention whoring. Some celebrities successfully protect their children - she uses her child for publicity and to strike out at an ex-lover. Carrey shouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place, but she also made a mistake in having her son bond with her boyfriend. Most romantic relationships don't last, and the odds are even more bleak when the two adults who have chaotic pasts and big egos, and are in different stages of their lives. She should have known she was setting her son up for heartbreak. (She's dating an athlete now... the cycle repeats.)

Finally, I have to wonder how many medical professionals have been professionally hurt, and how many children have gotten severely ill because of her hyping of BS information about vaccines? She's one celeb who should be... singled out.

High Holy Day For Attention Whores

Did you go to a party over the weekend? Did you see the attention whores? Females of all ages use Halloween as an excuse to wear way-too-revealing "costumes". Hey, it can be great eye candy for guys (and gals) who want eye candy, or want to see females they know in near nudity.

The festivities continue all through today and tonight, of course.

Now, far be it from me to tell adults how to dress when at a private party. But if a woman dresses with her boobs nearly hanging out, she wants people to look at her boobs. Maybe she just wants one person in particular to do it, but she doesn't get to pick and choose when she is in a room full of people. If she wants to pick and choose, she'll do it in private.

What is up with those parents who let... or even encourage... their little girls to dress as wanna-be porn stars just because it is Halloween, or All Saints Eve, or Reformation Day?

Don't get me wrong. I think it is great in general to be able to dress up in costumes and have some fun, but let's not kid ourselves about the sexually-charged stuff. It's like when a woman says it doesn't count as sex (cheating) when it happens out of the country, or in another state, or while on vacation... as long as it is them or their friends doing it.

She Has It and Flaunts It

How revealing is too revealing? And does it change as an adult gets older? PRIM AND PROPER IN OKLAHOMA wrote in to Dear Abby:

My mother-in-law, "Kay" -- who is in her 50s -- dresses like she's in her teens or 20s.

What does that mean, exactly? Well, read on.

Don't get me wrong, she looks great. She exercises several hours a day to keep in shape and follows a strict diet.

Kay wears spaghetti-strap shirts and short skirts in the summer, and bikinis to sunbathe. I understand that she wants to show off her body, but is there a way to direct her to more age-appropriate clothing?

So... bikinis, short skirts, and spaghetti-straps are okay for teens? But not for a woman in her 50s?

Dear Abby responded:

You are well-intentioned, but if you are wise, you will refrain from giving your mother-in-law any unasked-for fashion advice.

That's for sure. I'm not so sure about the well-intentioned bit, though. She could just be jealous. A lot of women can't stand it when another women draws attention while in their presence.

Anyone think the MIL would take the criticism well, and would change how she dresses as a result?

Any of you know anyone like either of these women... perhaps it is you?

Here's the argument I've heard from some of my fellow religious conservatives (Christian and otherwise). "None of that is appropriate at any age because it causes men to think of women as sex objects or have impure thoughts." I've also heard that some of that is fine for available women, but not for women who are making a commitment. Then there's the reverse - religions in which married women can wear blue jeans, but unmarried women (who are all supposedly virgins... which often means they only have sex with guys outside of the family religion/social circle) can't wear jeans, but instead wear really long skirts. And learn how to walk in short strides.

What say you? Back in my bachelor days I wouild insert some joke here about sending me a picture if you're not sure what is appropriate so that I could tell you one way or the other.

Prom Time Again

Every year now, I take notice of this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention whores and attention whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column.

Dear Abby Defends Attention Whores

DOIN' WHAT COMES NATURALLY wrote in to Dear Abby:

When a man meets a woman wearing a low-cut dress or blouse, is it rude to momentarily glance down (not stare) at her cleavage?

It isn't rude to her. That is exactly why she wore it - to get attention. Now, there may have been one or two people in particular whose attention she was trying to get, and as such, she may be uncomfortable with you taking a look. But tough toenails for her. She doesn't get to pick and choose if she goes out in public like that.

It may be rude to your wife, depending on how obvious you are about it.

Most men find this a natural, unavoidable impulse.

True. This is the way our biology is wired.

Dear Abby gets gender partisan:

It may be a "natural, unavoidable impulse," but gentlemen have learned to control their impulses.

And ladies know exactly how they are dressing.

I'm surprised you haven't heard the phrase, "My eyes are up here."

I would suggest completely ignoring any woman who behaves this way. She is an attention whore, and wants attention so that she can then insult or hurt others. Ignoring women like this drives them even crazier than they already are, but you should do it for your own protection.

What other possible reason, other than to draw attention to her breasts, would a woman display her cleavage to strangers in public? Women, if you're going to dress this way, the appropriate response when you notice a man noticing that you've dressed this way is to smile.

I had a girlfriend who was sporting DDs (beautiful... just glorious marvels of nature), and she wasn't overweight in the slightest... she had the perfect body as far as I was concerned, but like most very attractive women, she didn't see herself that way. She was a teacher, teaching middle schoolers at first. She dressed very conservatively, and yet heard from some of the girls that they thought she was purposely showing off. Nothing could have been further from the truth. That is not what is going on this letter to Dear Abby. Anyway, my girlfriend asked me about calling up boys to the front of the room to do work on the board, and it there was a problem with that. I told her at that age, boys are "at full attention" quite often, even if there is no present visual stimulation. But with her there, it must have been going on constantly. She took my advice... best not to have the students get out of their seats.

She Wants to Be the Heaviest Woman

But sorry, guys, she's taken! On the heels of yesterday's story on a study of sex and obesity, I bring you this Karina Ioffee's Reuters story.

A New Jersey woman is waging a campaign to become the world's heaviest living woman, admitting that she is as hungry for attention as she is for calorie-rich food.
Donna Simpson, 42, weighs more than 600 pounds (272 kg) and aims to reach 1,000 pounds (455 kg).

There is something very, very wrong with this woman,

The mother of two children, ages 3 and 14, models on a website called [name of fatty website removed on purpose], where admirers and the curious can pay to watch videos of her eating greasy foods or walking to the car.

Something is very wrong with those people. And she is being a horrible mother.

Among the heaviest women ever recorded was one who reportedly weighed 1,800 pounds (816 kg) and another who reportedly weighed 1,200 pounds (545 kg) at the time of their deaths.

Yuck.

Simpson said she has received a book offer and wants her own reality show, partly to give plus-size women more confidence.

People need motivation to lose weight – not encouragement to gain weight.

She wears size XXXXXL clothing, which she buys mostly online, and calls herself a member of the "fat acceptance community."

You are way beyond "fat". You are suicidal.

Simpson has found a man who says he appreciates her size, and they plan to marry in Hawaii this year.

What's his problem?

Her fiancee, 49-year-old Philippe Gouamba and the father of her 3-year-old daughter, said he not only finds Simpson attractive but is also one of Simpson's biggest supporters in her quest to expand her girth.

Maybe he wants full custody, and getting her to kill herself is the fastest and surest way of making that happen? Making kids out of wedlock was also a bad idea.

Simpson said she gets e-mails from women who think they will never fall in love or have children because of their weight.

"I just say that's not true," Simpson said.

Of course extremely obese women can fall in love and have children, but their options are greatly reduced. If they want to marry a very successful professional man, they can forget it.

Simpson spends as much as $750 a week on groceries, suffers from Type 2 diabetes and struggles with basic tasks such as cooking and taking a shower.

Imagine the smell.

"I've always been comfortable with myself," she said. "It was just everybody else that wasn't comfortable with me."

Yeah, narcissists and sociopaths are often comfortable with themselves, too.

They should get huge barrel of flour for a wedding present. I won't explain why... it is a rude joke.

Look, I've stuggled with my weight over the years. When I am fat, I know it is a result of failing to live a healthy lifestyle. I don't claim that it is a good thing.

Pulling a Double Shift

Some eleven-month-olds are twins, but unusual. So says this story from Fox Network's Dallas station.

"I have twins, but they're by different fathers," said Mia Washington.

The twins' parents contacted FOX 4, wanting to go public with their story.

Yuck. I think that was a terrible idea.

Washington admits she had an affair that resulted in two babies, born at the same time, fathered by two different men.

Sounds like something to trumpet from the rooftops, no?

"I'm very shocked," Washington said.

Why? You did know that you had two different penises inside you, right?

The parents went to Dallas DNA Lab Clear Diagnostics after noticing the twins have different facial features.

Uh, you mean like every other fraternal twin set in world?

When twins have two fathers, doctors call it heteropaternal superfecundation.

And I call it sluttery. And that at least three people were completely ignorant of contraception.

Dreiling said the medical marvel can happen when a woman releases multiple eggs during ovulation. If she has more than one sexual partner within the same time period, sperm cells can fertilize two separate eggs.

Is there anyone who has gotten past sixth grade who didn't know that?

The twins’ father said he's forgiven his fiancé's infidelity and has vowed to stay with her and raise both boys as his own.

His fiancé. Wouldn't want to rush marriage, or anything. You weren't married, buddy, so it wasn't infidelity unless you consider all sex prior to marriage infidelity. My guess is that you don't consider all of the other sex you have had with other women before meeting Washington to be infidelity.

"I'm trying to let everybody else know: Don’t put yourself in my shoes, because it can hurt and it does hurt, but you still have to go on with life," she said.

Well I’m glad they included that. And thank you, because if it weren't for you, I would have no idea that unprotected sex with multiple men around the same time could have negative consequences.

Washington said she plans to tell the boys about their DNA differences when they’re old enough to understand.

You're not going to have much of a choice, are you, since you went public with the story? Your kids would have been better off if you hadn't gone public and they never found out they were conceived by two different guys. "Mommy had sex with two different men around the same time, and didn't bother to use protection, so you're only half siblings - one of you isn't daddy's child." Why do that?!?

As for the other father, she has no plans to tell him.

Unless you were with a lot of different guys back then, he can probably figure it out... especially since you've gone public. He probably feels like he is off the hook (though he isn't), but on the other hand, he may sue – and get – some level of custody or visitation, especially since these kids were born outside of wedlock. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Nowhere in the article does it actually say this guy, James Harrison, is the biological father of either of them. It is possible that neither of them are his by blood. And guess what? It will be possible for her to divorce him after 10 years, extract alimony from him (for life) and child support, even if neither of the kids is biologically his, and then live with some other guy – maybe even one or both of the biodads.

Hopefully, that doesn't happen. Hopefully, these kids will be raised in a stable, happy, married household feeling like they are with mom and dad, but it isn't looking so promising for that to happen.

Guys, be careful where you stick it.