Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Prager Encourages Having Many Children

Dennis Prager not only advocates marriage (and he likes it so much he married a third time after two divorces), he advocates people have a lot of children. He speaks as though it's rainbows, roses, and unicorns, talking about what a "joy" it is. It's such a joy there are parents who murder their kids. And there are kids who murder their parents. Oh, what joy!

It's a bad idea to encourage reluctant people to marry. That's how you get more murder-suicides. And it is even worse to encourage reluctant people to have a lot of children. That's how you get Andrea Yates.

Prager bemoans falling fertility rates. He also insists people don't need a lot of money to raise a lot of children. Mind you, in his world, kids don't have birthday parties every year, they don't have the run of the house, and they sit quietly at the dinner table all through dinner unless spoken to. Kids don't expect their parents at every sports/music/dance practice or performance nor at spelling bees or other academic contests. The older kids help out with raising the younger kids. You know, like Josh Duggar?

Monday, March 19, 2018

Is Fake Bad?

"Marriage is real. Porn is fake."

That was tweeted out by a Twitter account that is constantly warning people about porn.

The way this is worded implies a person's choice is to either be married or watch porn. Or, if we're being really generous, that their can put their energy into their marriage or they can put it into porn. The most plain reading is that marriage is good because it is real, porn is bad because it is fake. It's a contrast between the two.

We could just as well say:

"Work is real. Action movies are fake."

Media is fake. Even much of "reality" television, even documentary movies, are "fake" in the sense that they can't give a full view of reality.

Here are some other things that are "fake":

Saturday, March 17, 2018

The Prom Is For Girls and Gays

Here we are again. I'm hearing about The Prom again and Promposals. Ugh.

Every year now, I note this ritual, which has become another day, along with "Sweet Sixteen" (or other birthdays for certain cultures, at 13, 15, etc.) and wedding days (the the related events) that are all about feeding the narcissism and sense of entitlement of attention-whores and attention-whores-in-training.

Refer back to my "Beware the Prom", and this look at a Dear Abby column, and this look at a different Dear Abby column and now this entry on increasingly showy proposals for dates.

Stop it, guys! Unless you're gay and want to rub it into the noses of some uptight school staff or parents by taking someone of the same sex, you don't really want to go to a dance, do you? You don't really want to take girl to the prom, do you?

It a nutshell, here are my problems with the prom as it is these days:

1) Boys wasting money.

2) Another event where females are princess-ized, which is a problem as long as males are prevented, culturally/socially and often legally, from events that cater to them and are focused on them in a similar way. Go ahead and tell me... what event gives boys the equivalent of the prom, where the activities are all about things he wants to do, with the boys dressing the way they want to dress, the girls dressing the way the boys want them to dress, the girls paying for it and escorting the boys, and where the boys will go hang out with their friends during the event?

If you already have a date for the prom, break up with her. If you were planning to ask a girl, especially with some elaborate production, don't!

Some of you guys think that taking a girl to the prom means she will have sex with you. If she hasn't had sex with you yet, paying her way and being her display piece for the prom almost certainly will NOT make it happen. If she really is the kind of girl who will finally have sex  with you because you took her to the prom, it's probably not worth it. You're far better off going straight to one of the "after parties". But even then, you're just asking for trouble, even more so if she's underage (even if YOU are underage). 

You're better off doing something else that night, even staying home and sleeping. If you're a very bad boy, you might want to track down a neighborhood "single" mom whose daughter is off to the prom that night and it has her (the mom) feeling nostalgic and over the hill. Just be careful or you'll end up a very young father.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Where's the Book?

As I wrote tangentially in a long entry about the Tom Leykis Show, the lack of mention of his book on his show indicated to me that the project is in limbo or even scrapped, even though a couple of years ago it sounded like it would be for sale within a few months.

This week, a caller mentioned the book but Leykis didn't address that part of the caller's comment at all.

A search on Amazon comes up with this, which is placeholder. It gives a price, a description (apparently boilerplated from existing Leykis media), and a release date (when I checked) of October 15, 2018. That's a Monday. Books are released on Tuesdays. If the placeholder was put there by a fan, it means absolutely nothing. Do we have any reason it was put there by Leykis or a publisher?

I'm curious because, if done right, the book, which would focus on the core of "Leykis 101" which is about "how to get more tail for less money" can be informative, persuasive, entertaining, and provocative. While I do not advocate fornication, other parts of Leykis' "course" are broadly applicable and I support them, such as spending as little money on women as possible, avoiding marriage and exclusive relationships, not tolerating troublesome women, and generally preventing women from exerting control over or negatively influencing your life.

I can't help but think of what the book should be like. Each tenet of L101 could have its own chapter, explaining what to do, why it works, and providing examples from Leykis' life, the lives of his callers, and the news. I could even see Leykis promoting the book  and answering questions like, "Aren't you afraid this will allow women to figure out your tactics?" with "The women my readers wan't don't read books."

Anyway, with how transparent Leykis has been about everything else, his silence on the book, along with the delay, indicates that something has gone wrong and I would not count on a book being release in mid-October.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Matt Walsh Might as Well Say Misery Loves Company

Walsh really, really wants everyone to get married and have kids ASAP. I think he's a bit envious of the fun, productivity, and flexibility free men have, but of course I can't really know his heart. Here's his latest Daily Wire column (which is taking comments... hint hint).
Now we can add "quarter-life crisis" to a list of millennial complaints that would have sounded unintelligible to every generation before ours.
This phrase has been around for a couple of decades now, at least. But OK.
It seems that a lot of people my age are feeling lost, confused, stagnate, bewildered. They are unsatisfied with their lives and unsure of how they might find satisfaction. They have spent their young adulthood pursuing their own interests and pleasures and now they have little to show for it. They don't know what they can or should do to find fulfillment.
I didn't have these problems. My life was pretty good before I got married.
May I make a suggestion? 
Get married and have kids.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

They Can't Put Him Back Together Again

The jig is up, The horse is out of the barn. Marriage is dead.

Some people haven't accepted that, and desperately want to turn back the clock.

It can't be done.

There has been such a shift in our culture and it's not going to shift back.

I Need a Vacation

I now understand why married men go on fishing and hunting trips with the guys.

I am in desperate need of a vacation.

By "vacation", I don't mean taking the wife and kids somewhere, or staying home and dealing with them. That's not relaxing for me.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt ill and, if I had lived alone, I would  have stayed home, but since I don't live alone, I got up and worked all day.

While I'm trying to work, I'm frequently contacted by my wife with instructions on things she needs me to do (sometimes immediately) or I even get contacted by the school about something my kid is doing.

My wife and kids require a lot of work out of me. Mind you, my wife is a SAHM. Still, I'll come home from a long day of working and commuting, I'll need to feed them all, go grocery shopping, and then take out seven or eight bags of trash for the weekly trash pickup. Then I need to get the kids to bed before I can collapse.

The problem with getting away by myself is that it would leave the kids home with my wife, and that's not a good idea for multiple days. It might result in headlines. I wish I was entirely kidding.

I daydream about being a guy with no wife, no kids, and having more time than things that need to get done.

I can only drop one kid at a time off with my mother. But I need to figure out how I can have my kids being watched by others, and then figure out an excuse to get away for several days or a week, even if "getting away" isn't really going anywhere. It could be a simple as sending my wife somewhere else.

While I'd be coming back to the same life, being able to recharge for a bit might keep me going.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Not All SAHMs Are Made Equal

I do generally believe that marriage should involve a division of labor in the sense that someone should raising the kids and someone should be considered the breadwinner.

When Dr. Laura paints a portrait of a "stay-at-home" mother, she actually doesn't want them to stay home. It's more like they are "stay-with-kids" mothers. She describes them taking their kids to parks, taking the kids along as they walk, run, or bike, and constantly playing with the kids.

And she tells women who have husbands who aren't convinced those women should quit their jobs to stay with the kids to tell the husbands that they'll be able to prepare more homecooked meals and there will be a lot more sex.

But how many of these women really live up to these things? I applaud those who do, but what about the rest?

[This entry was bumped up from late 2015. We no longer have the other two adults living with us. Most of what they did has reverted to me.]

My wife has been a SAHM since before our first child, who was planned, was conceived.

Today, the kids are in school. My wife is still a SAHM.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Don't Make Promises You're Not Going to Keep

I'm convinced the most ideal family situation is a breadwinning father married to a homemmaker mother, who is a stay-with-kids mom, at least until the kids are all in school (Kindergarten or later), at which point she can work part-time. Having the father stay home instead is the next best thing.

This is what one of my favorite audio talk show hosts, Dr. Laura also preaches and teaches, much to the irritation of plenty of people, who talk as though daycare isn't almost always voluntary.

Dr. Laura claims that "in the day" men would rather die than see their wives working full time outside of the home and she talks as though men are ignoring their blaring natural inner voice when they pressure their wives to work. But how many of these men were "raised" by working mothers? How many of those mothers were divorced or never-married? A LOT! Furthermore, a lot of these men know that if their wife doesn't work, the courts are going so screw them (the husbands) over even more when there's a divorce, because the courts will say that the woman has greatly reduced earning potential and has been accustomed to being taken care of financially.

"But you shouldn't expect a divorce," say so many people.

Thursday, March 08, 2018

Men! Don't Ruin A Woman's Life By Marrying Her!

Haven't you noticed how miserable husbands make wives?

Wives constantly complain about their husbands.

They complain about their husbands to the husbands. They complain about their husbands to their therapists and counselors. They complain about their husbands to their family. They complain about their husbands to their neighbors. They complain about their husbands to their friends. They complain about their husbands on social media. They complain about their husbands on daytime television gabfests. They complain about their husbands in so many television advertisements.

And there's so much to complain about.

According to reports, husbands create an extra seven hours per week of housework for their wives!

You can also find lists of common complaints wives have, like this one.
1. “He never helps around the house.”
So he causes her to have more housework and he doesn't help!
2. “He plays too many video games.” Or something like fantasy football.
Don't burden her with your frivolity, guys. Don't marry her so she doesn't have to see it.
3. “We have the same arguments every day.”
How dare you not just go along with whatever she wants today, guys? If you don't marry her, she won't have to argue with you.
4. “He drinks too much.”
She shouldn't have to see that, guys. Stay unmarried and go drinking with your buddies.
5. “His family drives me nuts.”
Don't give her in-laws to deal with by marrying her, guys.
6. “He brings too much junk food into the house.”
If you're not living with her, you won't be bringing junk food into her house.
7. “He doesn’t know anything about the kids.”
Don't bother her by being around but not knowing the details, guy!
8. “He always wants to have sex.”
Guys, how can you ruin her life by wanting to sex with her so much? Stay unmarried so you can divide your advances among multiple women. And you're not good enough in bed.
9. “The credit card statement is always a surprise.”
You're buying stuff without her approval?!? Don't marry her and she won't get the credit card statements.
10. “A little appreciation would be nice.”
Men, don't marry her and prevent all those other guys from expressing their appreciation for her. Half of your income is NOT demonstrating enough appreciation. You don't show your appreciation, you don't romance her. Let her be romanced and pursued by better men than you.

Husbands do everything wrong! Even your sense of humor becomes less effective once you are a husband. So don't be a husband.

Husbands often don't earn enough.
Husbands often spend too much time at work.
Husbands are too whiny and dramatic when they get sick.

So don't be a husband. Don't marry a woman and ruin her life.

Wives are far more likely to file for divorce than husbands, clearly because husbands are so likely to be burdens on her, and women have so many complaints about their ex husbands.

DON'T DO THAT TO A WOMAN. Be a nice guy by saving her from the hassles and drudgery and annoyances and burdens husbands bring by NOT marrying her, and NOT moving in together. Otherwise, her sighs might give her breathing problems, and eye rolls might give her vision problems.

Show that you respect her, especially as an equal, by honoring the fact that she doesn't need a man, that she can do everything you can do, that she can do it on her own, and that she's strong and independent, by NOT becoming a husband.


Now, she might still want a wedding. But what is it she really wants? She wants a series of parties that she plans and controls and that are about her. If you want to give that to woman, you can mark a birthday of hers with a series of such parties, and if you really want, you can gift her a diamond ring and a nice vacation, too. You can do that and pay for all of that and you can do it without becoming a husband.

Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Another Article Trying to Get Men to Sacrifice Themselves

The Catholic News Agency recently did an article based on a study released by the Institute for Family Studies, from our friends W. Bradford Wilcox and Nicholas H. Wolfinger. And I say "friends" because even though I often disagree with either man on Twitter, I appreciate what they're trying to do.

CNA headlined the article with "
What's in it for men? The benefits of getting married".

As we'll see, there's nothing in it for men that they can't get otherwise.

“Indeed, the benefits of marriage for men are substantial by every conceivable measure, including money, a better sex life, and significantly better physical and mental health,” noted a recent study released by the Institute for Family Studies.
We've already covered this extensively here.

“There’s no doubt that marriage requires sacrifices… but it turns out that these sacrifices pay for themselves and more.”
Not so.

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Daycare is Almost Always Voluntary and is Generally a Bad Choice

One of the most repeated sentiments in parenting conversations these days is parents claiming that they "had no choice" but to put their kid(s) into daycare or that it is a GOOD thing for the kids.

In almost every case, this is a big, stinking pile of dung.

Putting a child in daycare comes at the end of a series of CHOICES that the parent(s) made. By the way, day care is anything before the kid is 5, whatever it is called... nursery school, pre-K, transitional K, pre-school... it's all daycare.

If you aren't "able" to raise your own child, don't have one!

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Tom Leykis is on Farewell Tour

Although Tom Leykis insists his decision to end his show came early this year, after he got sick and some fans got snarky, he also insists that was very low on list of reasons and keeps saying his fans "tested" him by dragging their feet on (re)subscribing in 2017. They did reach 1,900 subscriptions like he demanded in order to return in 2018, but apparently it wasn't fast enough for him, despite it being before his deadline. So he's "back for 2018" but only as long as the show is generating enough revenue to break even or better. He'll no longer beg for subscriptions (which is entirely understandable given how much time and effort it took last year), other than mentioning that the show will end its run when the subscriptions fall to a level that won't cover expenses. He's also said the library of past shows will be available to subscribers after the end of the show's run as long as subscriptions cover those expenses.

He's admitted he thought he could be dying when he was sick. I think that has more to do with his decision to end the show than he's indicated. He knows he's got less life to live than he's already lived, at least chronologically, and the fact is, like anyone else, he could die tomorrow. I'm sure he wants to travel and party and relax and not be obligated (by his own word) to do 12+ hours of live shows every week (and all of the related work, which we don't hear)  when he can't be certain he's got many years of good health left. As I said before, even though he hasn't said so, he probably got a little bit excited last year at the thought of starting another chapter in his life if the subscriptions didn't reach 1,900, which would have meant January 2, 2018 would have been the end of his show.

Monday, February 26, 2018

It's Cold Inside

Recently my wife said we had to talk about our sex life. She  had texted me that from the other room. So I joined her in the room where she was, and then found out she'd been expecting it to be a text conversation. I should have left the room right then and I'd have a verbatim account of the conversation to share with you. My memory is excellent though.

I knew from past conversations that this would be her telling me things and me agreeing. Anything else, such as me disagreeing or me telling her things or making requests would  result in things getting worse.

To briefly recap what's going on as I've previously explained here, we are having sex about once every three weeks or less now, and the sex is generally not as enjoyable for me as it was with a couple of girlfriends and flings I had in my wayward youth. I don't dare tell her that, though.

Thankfully, she didn't take the opportunity of this conversation to state again that she doesn't really like sex or eliminate anything from menu of acceptable elements/acts, which is narrow enough as it is.

Her requests were simple enough:

A Running List of Reasons Given By My Wife

This will be a running list, in no particular order, of reasons or excuses my wife (and maybe yours!) gives to NOT make love or have sex. As I've written in other entries, we're down to about once every three weeks, and usually it's a mercy session.

Some of these reasons might be legitimate some of the time; I'll grant that. But cumulatively, it is rather sad, given that this is supposed to be a mutually enjoyable "gift from the Lord" that is supposed to be a major benefit to marriage that, in turns, strengthens marriage and is good for our health and all of the other stuff.

Now, I know how the world works. The average man wants sex more than the average woman, and the same holds true for our little microcosm: I want sex more than my wife. Traditionally, on a societal level, this has either been handled through official polygny or through mistresses, concubines, or prostitution. Or, even if monogamous, there has been an agreement, whether tacit or explicit, that marriage is an exchange. The wife has agreed to sex as often as the husband wants it (in addition to cooking and making sure the household chores are done) because he's protecting her, providing for her, and keeping the children in line (even with just the threat of what'll happen when Dad comes home). This agreement seems to have been abandoned for the most part, which is one reason why most men shouldn't bother to marry. I'm fulfilling my end of the bargain, however.

I'm sure there are some snarky types out there who will read these and tell me that if I was a more considerate and all-around better lover, I wouldn't hear these excuses so often. See, that's what I'd believe, too, if I didn't have the experiences of my wayward youth. I know it isn't me. And I have solicited her thoughts and feelings during neutral times (away from lovemaking situations) about what I can do to make things easier and more enjoyable for her. The bottom line is that, whether because of her medications or some other reason, she doesn't like sex much. She pretended to be craving sexual affection before we married, and still somewhat until we had our children, because she wanted the guarantee of my financial support. Once she had it, she no longer had to pretend. She will not say it that way, but that's the harsh truth. (And it is the harsh truth for a lot of men. I suspect the real reason prostitutes are put down is because they deliver when they're paid and paid women who don't deliver hate that.)

Same goes for "You should be romancing her. I bet you're not taking her out on dates like you did before you married!" Hey, I've tried. She shoots down dates, she doesn't want flowers, and she doesn't want me drawing a nice bath for her.

Feel free to add your own reasons or excuses in the comments, even if you're a woman whose husband is rejecting her.

Since this is a running list it will be updated and bumped up from time to time, and I'll elaborate on some excuses.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Another Day, Another Silly Scold

In what is probably easy-cheap hits bait (check the number of comments on his Twitter post and his column), or a kiss-up to his wife or old biddy followers, Matt Walsh is again dealing with the pressing issues of the day by bemoaning that some people (mostly men) like to see depictions of people in revealing or no clothing and people having sex by arguing for a "ban" on "porn" at The Daily Wire.
If you had asked the average person 50 years ago whether it should be legal to distribute grotesque, hardcore pornography through a medium where people of all ages, especially kids and young teens, might have easy and free access to it, he probably would have been shocked that you even needed to ask the question.
Straight out of the gate, Walsh goes to the extremes. What does this have to do with a video featuring, for example, one man and one woman having sex being watched by a middle-aged man? And is Walsh unaware that "stag films" were a thing?