Hot Lover Wife Quiz

Wives, how hot a lover are you? Based on my experience as a husband and what I've learned from other husbands, I drew up this quiz, mostly for fun. This quiz assumes that you are married and monogamous and plan to stay that way.

Choose the answer that is closest to your own or most frequently would be your own. Note that lovemaking or making love doesn't have to mean penis-in-vagina intercourse.

Hot Lover Wife Quiz

My husband and I make love...
A) On wedding anniversaries that fall into Leap Years, provided it doesn't conflict with my television viewing or book club.
B) Once a month
C) Once a week
D) Three or more times a week.

A good time for lovemaking is...
A) When my husband is out of town.
B) When the place is clean and everything is done and in order.
C) Between 12am and 12:05 am.
D) Any time it is unlikely that another mortal will be able to watch us and know what we're doing.

In order to get sex, my husband has to...
A) Pay a whore.
B) Have an affair.
C) Jump through a bunch of flaming hoops.
D) Be where I can find him.

After bedtime lovemaking, I...
A) Cry like my favorite pet was just shot to death.
B) Talk my husband's ear off about what is happening on my soap, or what what the ladies said today on "The View".
C) Tell my husband his best friend does it better.
D) Allow my husband to drift off to sleep in peace and quiet.

During lovemaking, my demeanor most resembles...
A) A corpse
B) A wet blanket
C) Fort Knox
D) An enthusiastic gymnast

Your husband wants to go down on you. You...
A) Kick him out of the room.
B) Push him away.
C) Keep your legs together.
D) Place your hands on his head, sigh appreciatively, and, moan your approval.

You are having trouble reaching orgasm, but know you can. You...
A) Claim you heard a scary noise that you send him to check, then fake your own abduction.
B) Fake it
C) Stay silent until you're raw and he has Repetitve Motion Injuries.
D) Tell him in a positive way/show him what would feel even better than what he’s doing.

You give your husband oral sex...
A) Never, at least not anymore.
B) Some of the times he asks for it.
C) Each time he asks for it.
D) Even when he hasn't asked for it.

You treat your husband's semen like...
A) Scalding, radioactive poison
B) An annoyance
C) Something that is only good to coat your cervix
D) Your favorite candy or a miracle skin cream.

You tell your husband that his penis is...
A) Small, limp, and repulsive.
B) Nothing more than wasted extra distance for urine to travel.
C) Never entering you again.
D) Your favorite toy.

Your husband's testicles are...
A) Things you've never seen nor felt.
B) Sperm makers and nothing more.
C) Your punching bags.
D) Your playground.

Compared to when you get married, your non-pregnant body weight (fat, not muscle) is up...
A) 100% or more
B) 33-99%
C) 16-32%
D) 0-15%

Your husband mentions a fantasy of his or something he wants to try that doesn't immediately strike you as sexy at all. You...
A) File for divorce.
B) Call him a sick, disgusting pervert, and tell everyone you know what he said.
C) Laugh and say, "Absolutely not. Never."
D) Say "That could be a lot of fun" and give it a genuine try. If it ends up being problematic, you propose an alternative.

You have a fantasy or something you want to try that you haven't before. You...
A) Try it with the postal carrier.
B) Keep it to yourself.
C) Try to tell your husband through mental telepathy.
D) Go ahead and do it (if possible) or hold your husband (or a part of him) and tell him in a sultry voice what you want to try and what he needs to do to make it happen.

You catch your husband looking at an attractive woman in person who isn't you. You...
A) File for divorce.
C) Become cold and distant and say "Nothing!!!" when he asks you what is wrong.
D) Whisper in his ear, "Wow, she's beautiful. But close your eyes for a moment so that you can picture what you and I are going to do together the next chance we get. I'd like to..."

Your husband gets to you see naked (in light, daylight, by a fire, or by candlelight)...
A) Whenver the Chicago Cubs win the World Series.
B) In his memories.
C) About once every three months.
D) At least once a week.

You and your husband will be home and awake together without anyone else there, and this is rare. You plan to...
A) Clean the bathroom.
B) Watch TV.
C) Talk with your best gilfriend on the phone.
D) Make wild, passionate love in common areas of the home.

Neither of you needs to be anywhere soon or watch young kids. Your husband tells you he's going to take a shower. You...
A) Say "Thank goodness, you smell like hell."
B) Tell him not to use up all of the hot water.
C) Wait to flush the toilet when he's in the shower, knowing this will make it uncomfortable for him.
D) Wait for him to get in, and then join him.

Your husband tells you a way he likes you groomed, whether he's referring to the hair on your head, or your betty. You...
A) Do the opposite.
B) Tell him that he's a pig.
C) Ignore him.
D) Keep/make things the way he likes.

The number of different positions you have ever tried with your husband...
A) Can be counted on one hand. By Mickey Mouse.
B) Is smaller than the number if kids you have.
C) Sticks to a set pattern that never changes.
D) Is hard to count without an abacus.

You have brought your husband to orgasm through...
A) Oral sex
B) Manual sex
C) Intercourse
D) All of the above

You don't feel like making love, but your husband is horny. You...
A) Call him a pig.
B) Cry.
C) Point him to the computer and hand him lube.
D) Rock his world.

During lovemaking, you vocalize (sighs, moans, screams, gasps, or words) your approval/encouragement/pleasure...
A) Never
B) In between talking about your last round of cramps
C) But you do so while calling out the name of the gardener.
D) Often

How often were you able to choose "D"? The higher that number, the hotter a lover you are.

The good news is that unless something severe is going on, you have the ability to make it so that you can honestly choose "D" for each question. That is within your power... without plastic surgery, without spending a dime. All it takes is you and your attitude, and maybe a little research that can be found online. If you are Christian, there are books by Christian authors for Christian couples that give some help in these matters.

These previous entries of mine may be of some assitance:
Don't Be An Ice Queen
Going Down Until the End
Some Tips on What to Do With His Tip

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