Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Messing With Talk Show Callers

I'm a sucker for some of the ways audio talk show hosts mess with callers. While the newscast of Robin Quivers was my favorite consistent feature of the Howard Stern Show (which I haven't heard since it went to satellite), one of my favorite occasional bits was when Howard would take a call from someone like Ian the Drunk and put other callers on with him, or when he'd take two callers on hold and connect them with each other, priming the pump with the occasional drop. Nobody beats Phil Hendrie, of course, who made a career out of messing with callers.

Two things Tom Leykis does that have always made me laugh hard:

1) When the caller asks "Is this Tom?" or says "I want to talk to Tom" right after Tom has started the call by identifying himself, and Tom handles it by saying, “Oh, did you want to talk to Tom?” and then does his whole set-up again, which includes the buffer music. I've heard him keep that up for an entire segment so that the caller never gets to say what he or she wanted to say.

2) When the caller has not turned off the show on their listening device, and rather than telling them (again) to turn it down/off, Tom tells them to turn it up - as loud as it will go. I heard one time, back when he was on FM radio, when he let the call loop back on itself what must have been a dozen times.

I guess I’m still a 13 year-old boy in some ways.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Jumping the Shill

I think he's dead wrong on certain things, but the Bill Handel Show is a regular part of my morning radio habit. I enjoy the rest of the on-air staff, including the traffic/aviation expert Mike Nolan, and Handel himself is often the perfect target for jokes by his cohosts. It is more the show itself than Handel that gets me, as evidenced by how I still enjoy listening (and often enjoy it more) when someone is filling in for Bill. With most other shows, the moment I hear that there's a guest host I catch up on my backlog of podcasts. I 've always liked Walter E. Williams filling in for Limbaugh, and I'll often listen to Mark Steyn, too.

Anyway, Handel reads a lot of the ads that run on his show, often including his personal testimonials, sometimes live but often recorded. Maybe I'm just grouchy, but in recent weeks his ads have jumped the shark for me. It's not like I was rushing out to buy the stuff he was advertising anyway, but I've been turned off the last couple of weeks. I'm finding his ads irritating and annoying. It probably isn't Handel himself, but rather the copy. For example, he's been promoting a weight loss company that has brick & mortar locations. He says the reason it works is "accountability". Since you have to show up and be weighed in front of the people who are helping you to lose weight (mind you, you are paying those people) you don't want to disappoint them. Really? Really? People who don't give a rodent's behind about how their spouse feels about them gaining and retaining weight are going to care what someone they're employing thinks? In some of the ads, he's even used the word "magic". Get out of here. In another ad, Handel is trying to convince people to buy advertising on the station, which is owned by Clear Channel. Maybe it is a sign of desperation from a corporation that has tens of billions of dollars in debt? Part of what irritates me about the ad is that is claims to tell us what the "smart" people are doing. Because, you know, you are a flipping idiot.

Maybe it isn't Handel, because there's a McDonald's ad that various people, like different traffic reporters, have been reading that has been irritating me. I don't care if their coffee is made from "real Arabica beans" or the eggs in their breakfast are "fluffy". In fact, I'd rather the word "fluffy" not be used to describe meaty food.

I'm rapidly turning into a grumpy old man, apparently.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Thanksgiving Reminder

Oh, there's so much I could tell you, so much I've wanted to say, but I haven't gotten around to editing my thoughts into a publishable post, because I've been too busy with them mundane things in life. I did have a very nice day that was out of the ordinary recently, but other than that, it has all been about grinding away at the job to support the family, and doing my chores, errands, and parenting stuff. The wife seems happy enough, she's pleasant enough to be around, but I think things could be a heckuva lot better. Ah, but before I know it, barring something happening even sooner, I'll be an old man and dying and it really won't matter. That's something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. I could easily live as long as I have so far. Time passes by more slowly when we're younger, perhaps in part because so much of what we're experiencing is new. And if it seems like just yesterday that I was a kid, then it'll seem like tomorrow that I'll be a dying old man. Nice thought, eh? Anyway, below is an annual reminder I'm now running for the third time. If you haven't done so already, you should really really how my Thanksgiving went last year. [- November 14, 2013]


It is that time of the year again - when married people endure problem in-laws and everyone has to deal with their own problem family members, and when some unmarried people sitting around a Thanksgiving meal endure from family the questioning, nagging, teasing, and whatever else about why they're not married or why they don't have kids yet.

Don't get me wrong. I think it is acceptable to ask a family member who is currently expecting a child and will not be giving the child up for adoption about getting married. But if someone isn't in that position, they should not have to endure yearly or more frequent pressure from other family members about getting married.

See a previous posting of mine on this subject and a more recent one.

If you have endured such questioning, have you come up with any good things to say that stop the questioning and pressure?

The answers would likely be different depending on one's personal beliefs and the general family's traditional belief. For example, if the family is very religious and so are you, you can say, "God just hasn't brought me the right person yet."

But if most people at the table aren't religious, especially not you, it is very easy (at least for a man) to reply honestly with, "What would I get by being married that I can't get being unmarried?"

Either way, perhaps a good response is...

"I like my life the way it is right now. I get to do what I want when I want. Nobody argues or fights with me, or nags me in my own home. I never have to sleep on the couch. I get to have my place the way I like it. And I get to come here and endure this line of questioning from the likes of you instead of having to spend the holiday with someone else's family."

Two common questions asked of those with no plans to marry are, "Aren't you worried about growing old alone?" and the related "Don't you want someone to take care of you?"

But plenty of people who marry and have children end up growing old alone and in a horrible nursing home. Most of the people who sit in nursing homes with little or no visitation from family had children. And as far as being alone, there are these wonderful people called... friends. And when your friend gets mad at you and decides not to deal with you any more (or you decide not to deal with your friend anymore), you don't have to lose your home and pay that friend money.

Have any of you endured this line of questioning? How have you handled it?

Previously: