Monday, August 16, 2010

Teen Girl Wasn't Ready

LOVESICK IN YUCCA VALLEY, CALIF. wrote in to Dear Abby:

I am a girl who has had my heart broken for the first time.
It's a horrible feeling.

I know I should get over this boy, but I can't stop thinking about him.
You'll feel better after some attention from other guys. But focus on studying, your hobbies, your friends, and your family.

My mom loved him.
I don't know your mom, so I don't know if that's good or bad.

We hung out every weekend for six months.
Probably not the best idea at your age, which I only know is "teen".

I thought I might have been pregnant.
Okay, well, that explains a lot. You lost your virginity to him. You're always going to remember this guy. You weren't mature enough to handle this. You'd be a lot better off if you hadn't done that. Your mother shouldn't have left you alone with him.

I'm not -- but I want to be. I know I'm not ready to be a mom, but I want someone to love me and depend on me. I need someone who won't leave me. I know my baby wouldn't.
Every guy who messes around with teen girls should cut out this column and paste it on his bathroom mirror. This is the kind of thinking you are dealing with. Ready to be a father?

Should I become a mom?
Only after about ten years, if you’ve married the right guy, and you have matured enough not to have this attitude. Don't even have sex now.

How do I get over my boyfriend? Do I stop talking to him and just be his friend?
Stop all contact with him for the foreseeable future. You may look back in a couple of years and realize that he was all wrong for you in the first place. Or, you may end up reconnecting. But be prepared to never have any contact with him again.

Dear Abby's response covers a lot of the same territory, but does not tell the girl to stop having sex.

Again, I notice there's no mention of a father.

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