Relationship Hell

All three letters in this edition of Dear Abby interest me. They all remind me that there is a lot to like about my wife. YOUNG MOM IN RICHMOND, IND. wrote:

I'm a teen mom who feels like I am being taken advantage of by my
newborn's grandmother. (I'll call her "Liz.") My baby's father, "Todd," lives
with her. They provide no financial support.

He lives with mommy and provides no support. Sounds like you picked a winner.

Liz puts me on the spot constantly and makes me feel bad if I tell her she can't have the baby that day or take her to a certain place. Since day one, she has wanted to take my baby out of town. That bothers me because I don't want my
daughter going out of town unless I am with her.

Guess what? If her son takes you to court to get some official custody, he'll be able to take her out of town without you. Of course, you can take him to court for support, too.

I feel obligated to let Todd's mother see the baby all the time to avoid the drama she would cause in my life if I don't.

She's just as much a grandmother as your own mother. See why it matters who you have sex with?

Dear Abby responded:

Do not allow anyone -- no matter how well-intentioned -- to do anything with your baby that makes you uncomfortable.

Well, yeah, that would be ideal, but that's not the law. The guy can get, say, weekend custody and they can do all sorts of things that would make her uncomfortable – legally. Like have other people over for the night.

SECOND FIDDLE IN ARIZONA wrote:

My boyfriend of four years, "Omar," and I have been having major arguments lately. They're about the relationship he has with his sister. I feel he confides in her more than he does me.

I realize she's his sister, but he consults her about finances, what kind of pet to buy, how things are going at work, etc. He's never open with me about those issues. He shuts me out to the point that I have told him if it doesn't change, we're through. He says I'm "overreacting."

It took you four years to see this? If you want the rest of your life to be like this, then keep seeing him. Otherwise, start dating others.

I'm a single mom, doing well on my own, but he refuses to acknowledge it.

Ah-ha! So you should be his first fiddle, even though he's not yours? Look, you should have your kid(s) as your priority. You shouldn't be dating each other, at least not seriously.

BUDGETING IN FAIRFAX, VA. wrote:

I am 21 and recently became engaged to my boyfriend of three years.

Strike one. You are too young, especially since has been going on since you were 18. And notice we don't get his age.

We are trying to pull off a wedding on a budget.

Good idea – when you’re old enough.

My parents dislike my fiance, so we are footing the bill.

Your parents don't like him. That's strike two. You sure you want a lifetime of that conflict? But her question is about... having her hair done. Yikes. Ah, the priorities of young wanne-be brides.