Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Men Are Visual Creatures

Talk radio host, columnist, author, lecturer, and teacher Dennis Prager devotes a whole hour of his show every week to "male/female" issues, and he frequently tries to explain male sexuality to women. On his website, you'll find Prager University, featuring short videos. Here is some transcript text from one titled "Men and the Power of the Visual".

The visual for the man has no analog in the woman. That doesn't mean women don't get turned on by some men, of course they do, but it’s some men. Whereas men get turned on by just any sight of female flesh on any female that they will find attractive.

And just in case you think that this is because our society fosters it, or it's a Playboy culture, gay men are the proof: gay men look at male bodies and parts of bodies just the way that heterosexual men look at female bodies and parts of bodies. That’s the proof that's it's built into males. That whatever is the object of our desire – male or female – just seeing is stimulating.
He speaks the truth.

Wives can use this information both to reassure themselves and to their advantage.

Wives should be reassured if they catch their main taking a second look or staring at the image of a woman or a woman in person. Yes, he likes what he sees, but this is normal. He's not thinking, "I want to leave my wife for her, or at least cheat on my wife with her." This is not to excuse a husband of being mindful of where he's choosing to look, nor of his obligation to honor his wife. But a wife should be reassured that this is a normal male tendency.

Wives should use this to their advantage in many ways. Here's just one of them. We all have a tendency to become familiar with what and who we see every day, from our living room furniture to our family members. Our brains know what the familiar looks like, and so we stop paying such close attention (just compare driving somewhere new vs. driving your daily route and daydreaming but still getting there safely). As such, your husband may be so caught up in his job and being a daddy and doing chores and honey-dos and his favorite show or hobbies that he's lately neglected to stop and really take a look at you. I mean really take a good look at you. So, do something about it. Make some private time together with him so that he'll actually be able to take a good look at you. It can be in the shower, it can be in bed, it can be with candlelight or by a fire or a lamp - just make sure he can get a goog look at you. Use lingerie or body paint to get him to really focus on you or a specific part of you (could even be your eyes, especially if you're good at flirting with them). Tell him you want him to take a good look, and give him time to do so. You might feel a little shy or silly, but he’ll enjoy it. And... he'll seek to thank you.

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