Saturday, July 24, 2010

Variety

Everyone has habits and routines. But men generally appreciate variety in lovemaking. Recently, the The Generous Wife had this simple tip:

Ask your husband if there is something new or different that he'd like to try in the bedroom. (I'm not suggesting you agree to something that you think is sinful or that is woefully outside of your comfort zone, just be willing to try something a bit creative.)
I wrote something not too long ago that could be considered related.

When an unmarried man says he likes variety, he often means he doesn't want to be monogamous. For most couples, variety is not going to include involving other people, and I don't think it is a good idea for married couples to include others.

Asking your husband if there is something new or different he'd like to try is different than tellingyour husband you are open to new ideas, which isn't bad either. But asking him creates a different feeling to a potentially difficult thing for him to bring up, especially if you've shot him down before.

He's a different person than you, so you have to be prepared to hear things that sound strange, pointless, or unappealing to you. Try to avoid a knee-jerk negative response.

If something is a turn-off for you (as opposed to simply not being a turn-on), will bring unwanted pain, or is clearly against your beliefs, there are various ways to say no. Some ways are better than others.

Try to maintain a neutral facial expression and body language. Letting a look of loathing or disgust settle on your face, followed by screaming "You sick pervert!!!" will probably not be a good way to handle the situation.

You can simply nod in a noncommittal way and ask, "What else?" Hopefully, that will move the discussion on to something more acceptable or interesting to you.

And don’t be afraid to tell him something you'd like to try. A good husband wants to take care of his wife's sexual desires.

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