Thursday, July 29, 2010

I Love You, I Married You, Now Change

OFFENDED STEPMOM IN WASHINGTON STATE wrote in to Dear Abby:

My 50-year-old husband and his 27-year-old son from a previous marriage like to call each other profane names. Neither one seems to have a problem with it, and argue that they call their buddies these kinds of names.

I am personally offended by profanities and find it disturbing that such language would be used among family members, let alone in front of others.
Wow, it is amazing that this all began after you married your husband.

Oh? What's that? They were doing it all along? And you chose to marry him anyway? Then I guess it couldn't have offended you that much.

Or... are you one of those people that figured you were going to change someone – and how they interact with their own flesh and blood – once you got them to sign on the dotted line?

You should suck it up and shut up (or leave). But you won't will you? You're going to nag your husband about this and tick him off and tick off his son. Just imagine what they're going to call you behind your back.

I don't like it. But I would have thought about that before I married.

When you marry someone, you're taking them AS-IS. If they’re not felled by disease or injury, they will get older - but not necessarily more mature or better. You can't count on them changing for the better or to be more to your liking. Yes, people should grow, but they may not. You can’t change someone else. You can only help them as they choose to change.

1 comment:

  1. curiepoint10:36 PM

    Change for the sake of your own well-being is growth. Change for the sake of someone being happier with you is slavery.

    ReplyDelete

I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!