Men are told to get married.
If it weren't for the constant drumbeat of marriage sellers, there would be even more men joining the marriage strike than have already.
Boys are sold marriage from the earliest ages. It's in the media we consume from the earliest ages.
Why? Why do people want you to get married?
There are many reasons.
Some might have bought into the flawed claims that men are better off if they marry. That's almost never the real reason someone will urge you marry. Let's consider some of the reasons.
A woman you're seeing might have a financial and/or egotistical incentive for you to marry her. First of all, it means she gets a diamond ring and a wedding and all of the associated parties, power, attention, gifts, etc. It means she gets a claim to at least 50 percent of your income, plus your future earnings should she decide to leave. It likely means she will get control over your sexuality, she gets your sperm, labor, your attention, your possessions... it can be a really great deal for women, or at least they think it will be.
They financially gain. In addition to women who gain by marrying men who do, or will, earn more income than them, there are a lot of people who make all or a substantial portion of their income from engagements, weddings, marriages, marriage difficulties, divorce, disputes over alimony, child support and custody. Also, married people have more children (cart and horse?) so anyone who financially gains off of the existence of children might see that as a reason to encourage people to marry.
To make new congregants. See the reasons above. The people in charge of your religious congregation and their "teacher's pets" want you to get married and crank out a lot of new congregants. These people might also be trying to help out the single women in the congregation, especially single mothers. AVOID THAT!!!
Racism. There are a few people out there who want you to marry and have a lot of children because their thinking is that it is important for demographic purposes, to avoid the "wrong races" from making up more of the population.
Government Ponzi schemes. Again, since married people tend to have more children, people worried about sustaining government Ponzi schemes will encourage you to marry and have a lot of children.
People like parties. Getting married often involves a series of parties. Knowing someone who is getting married can mean it's party time, over and over.
Misery loves company. They're married and they want you to be as miserable as them.
They can't remember what it is like to be free. Or, when they were free, they were desperate to marry. So they don't understand that someone can be happy and thriving as a free person.
To validate their own mistakes. Everyone gets married, right? They got married, and so they think you should, too. This is sometimes cloaked as "tradition" or "legacy" or "heritage."
So you can continue to hang out or hang out again. Your buddy married, and might not get to hang out with you unless you marry, and marry someone who gets along with his wife.
To dump you on someone else. Whether they're right or wrong, they think that you need someone to look after you, occupy your attention, or whatever. If you truly are being a burden on your family or friends, unless you literally have no choice due to a severe disability or illness, you really should be independent in the sense of being able to manage your life and keep yourself entertained. If these people are mistaken, well, disabuse them of the notion that you need someone to have you on a leash (unless you're into that sort of thing).
They want women dependent on a husband rather than government. This is even more so if the woman already has children. Why not teach and encourage women how to be independent?
To neutralize what they think is a threat. Some people see unmarried men as a threat. The see them as literal criminals, or potential wife-stealers, or perhaps even worse in their minds, happy and productive unmarried men are seen as a threat to their claim married men are better off.
They have a marriage fetish. Dennis Prager often talks as though the two reasons immediately above are why he constantly urges marriage, but from things he's said or written occasionally, I think another, perhaps underlying reason he urges marriage is that he has an emotional fetish, for lack of a better word, for marriage. From the earliest ages, seventy years ago, he was taught/saw husbands as being superior to unmarried men.
They are genuinely happy in their marriages. ...for now. It's great if someone is genuinely happy in their marriage, but they'd almost certainly be just as happy doing the same things without the terrible state contract. Also, they don't know what their life would be like if they had stayed free. They might be even happier. There are people who really, really like a certain flavor of ice cream. But nobody else can consume the very same scoop they are consuming, many people don't like that flavor, and some people can't eat ice cream at all. Some people like skydiving; many others would hate it. Some people love riding a motorcycle, and some of them end up maimed or dead, even through no fault of their own. But other people have no desire to ride a motorcycle. Some people swear by living at the beach. Other people would hate it. Some people really, really like certain forms of masochism but other people would find it traumatizing. Someone who is a top professional wrestling star might tell you it's a lot of hard work, a lot of tough times, but they are so happy and the cheers or jeers from the audience can't be compared to anything else. But only a small percentage of people who want to make a decent living as a pro wrestler ever do. If the person they are working with stops cooperating, it goes badly very quickly. And so many of them are serious;y injured, brain damaged, and become dependent on meds/drugs/booze just to get through the day. So a good response to their selling of marriage to you is to say "I'm glad if you're happy. Marriage just isn't for me."
Be aware. Learn to protect your freedom.
As always, great analysis Ken. Keep up the good job.
ReplyDeleteAnd this also: "...especially single mothers. AVOID THAT!!!" Well said. The only exception I can think of are widows.