High School Reunions and Keeping in Touch With Classmates

Does your high school class have reunions? Does your high school have general reunions or have an alumni association that does? Should you go to them?

With social media, we can keep in touch with any classmates or fellow alumni we want to. Still, there can be a social dynamic that happens with in-person mingling with a wider mix of classmates that can't happen on social media or meeting up with just a few classmates.

Obviously, if high school was hell for you because you had few friends or positive acquaintances, you don't have a good reason to go - other than to show off and rub it into the faces of those who mistreated you or rejected you that you're successful/happy now, if you are.

That brings me to three reasons why you might go, in no particular order.

1) To hook up

2) Business networking

3) To show off

If you'd have to travel, you have to think if it is worth it. Reunions, like Proms, have been given mythical status by Hollywood, but for most people they don't amount to much of anything.

Have a bunch of old friends you want to get together? You can set that up outside of an official reunion.

Whether wanting to hook up, get a job, or sell something, you can have an edge simply because you went to the same high school (which usually means, simply because of where your parents chose to live at that time).

Let's talk about hooking up.

Many of the women there feel an emotional connection to you. A reunion reminds them that they are aging. They have nostalgia for their youth. You are far more experienced with women than you were in high school, and unless you've let yourself go, you're physically more attracted and more attractive overall because you have more of what women want. All these things are to your advantage. Even if you're physically not so attractive, if the women think you're successful or some sort of challenge, you can do well.

All of this assumes you're a Free Man (or, at least, available to date). And of course you should NEVER bring a woman along, unless it is a classmate to whom you've offered a ride, hoping to drive her home after it's over.

It also matters which reunion this is. If it's 20 years or more, you should be able to "afford" your classmates' adult daughters. Few, if any of the women are ever going to look better than at the ten year reunion. Especially as the years go by, women who wouldn't have ever dated you in high school will be open to hooking up, maybe even throwing themselves at you (because the social stock of men tends to rise while that of women falls), so if you feel like you have "unfinished business" in that sense, these reunions can be your chance. (Some who were hot in high school will be unrecognizable, and not in a good way. Conversely, as few who were kind of plain might have glowed up.)

The problem is, these women know who you are, and, usually, some of your friends and family and maybe even where you really live, so you can't run game to the fullest extent with them. But you can run game to some extent.

Consider Having a Mutual Wingman. Is there a guy from your class who will be going, who'd be a good wingman for you? If so, plan ahead. Offer to help him out, too, if he's looking for that. Your wingman can be a a man who is married or in a relationship.

Pick your candidates. Who do you know is planning to be there? Which of those would you want?  Of those who are going to be there and you want, which are available? What do you remember about them from high school? What do you know about their life now? Are they recently divorced/broken up and seemingly ready to mingle? Are they local to the reunion, or are the traveling to the reunion? Did you date them in high school? Did you ask them out? Were they friends with women you did date or ask out? What happened back then, and why? AVOID SINGLE MOTHERS, especially for any reunion up through the 30-year, unless you have a vasectomy and no sperm count.

Find out who is staying with family or friends (not good), who is staying in a hotel or AirBnB, and who is local, especially if they live alone or will be staying alone. There can be a difference between who is staying in hotel block reserved for the reunion and who is staying at another hotel or AirBnB. Whether you should get a "block" room or try for a candidate in a "block" room depends on whether or not you think it would discourage a candidate for other classmates to know you hooked up. Also, you don't want to get stuck paying for room service for her, let alone a bunch of people.

You might have to wait until the reunion itself to get all of the necessary information from every potential candidate.

One At a Time. Unless you're really, really smooth, you're only going to get one (at best) the night of the reunion. But you might be able to get others subsequent nights. You'll have to prioritize candidates who are leaving town right away.

Do Any Of Them Need a Ride to the Reunion? If you can drive one to the reunion, she's most likely going to be the only one you can end up with that night (when you take her "home" from the reunion) unless she ditches you for someone else.

If She Already Knows Where You Live... It might be worth it to bring her back to your place, but the ideal is still to go back to where she is living or staying, provided you can be alone there. The risk of having her in your place is if she doesn't want to leave, mooches off you, or brings in the law.

Pictures Are a Great Excuse to Get Phone Numbers. If you take the picture, you can ask her for her number so you can send it. If she takes the picture, ask her to send it to you. Getting numbers can be especially helpful for the following nights.

Don't Buy Drinks For Her Unless She's Already Going Home With You. It's best not to spend the money. If you get one or two "free" drinks as part of your reunion payment, slyly use your drink ticket(s) for the drink you "buy" for her. That should mean she's already spent her ticket, so be careful. You don't want her unable to consent.

Remember To Be Careful What You Say. Don't turn them off! Get each woman talking as much as possible. If they ask you a question about yourself, try to quickly turn it back to a question about her. Find out anything that will help, if you don't know it already, like if she is local, if she living alone, if she's staying somewhere alone and if so when she's leaving town. What you DO say should give the impression that you're doing well financially, you're confident, you're in-demand, and you have better things to do than her.

Don't Give Any of Them the Impression They Have You Locked In. Don't act like her puppy dog or errand boy. You have better things to do than her. Only compliments that are backhanded are allowed. "You're definitely one of the top ten [or twenty, or thirty if your class was huge] most beautiful in our class." "You look almost as good as when we graduated!" Backhanded compliments are best when they appear to be an actual compliment, but get her off balance.

Get Them Competing. In this situation, that might involve a wandering eye while you're talking, or complimenting one woman while talking to another. But be careful not to give her the impression she shouldn't even bother with you. You want her to think she just might be able to get you, and that it would be an achievement on her part, or at least a really fun time.

Pay Attention. In addition to finding out who is staying where and who is leaving town when, pay attention to their body language, flirting, how they look at you and others, etc. Think about if the things they're saying reveal important information to you or give you an opening to get her alone.

Answering The Question. If they ask about your status as married, with a girlfriend, or "seeing someone," that's a good sign. Say that you're going on dates, but nothing's serious at the moment. That lets them know you're in-demand but available. If they ask if you're going to "settle down," say you'd have to find someone who was a good match, first. If they further ask you what you're looking for, mention that strong chemistry is a must. That sounds better than "She has to be hot," and it gives her an incentive to try to impress you.

Receiving Confession. If she confesses to having had a crush on you, that's a really good sign. Again, don't be her puppy dog. Take her confession in stride. Smile and ask her why she didn't do anything about it. That not only prevents you from saying you did/didn't have one on her, but it also gets her talking about herself more. And, she might have tried to do something about it, but you didn't notice (if you did notice, don't let on that you did). That's putting you on the right track.

Avoid a Bidding War. If another guy appears to be making progress with a candidate, avoid a bidding war with him. You might even want to help him out, depending. Unless it's clear you'd win without "paying" too much, move on to a candidate who isn't getting bidders, or bidders whose moves can't beat your game.

Ger Her Alone. Especially if she's living out of town now, a great move can be to suggest that you can drive her to campus or one of the old hangouts (an old makeout spot is even better, although be careful about the law, and cameras). The real goal is to get her to leave with you, and get her back to her place, the place she's staying, the place you're staying, or your place. If that doesn't end up working out, try to text the next candidate, and so on.

Act Fast. If there is someone who is leaving town that you want to get with, try to meet up with her ASAP, like the next evening. The ones who are in-town can wait.

Word is likely to get out about at least some of your hookups. While that might discourage some of the women from getting with you, or getting with you again, it may actually encourage others. Unless this is your ten year reunion, you're not looking for ongoing relationships anyway. You're just trying to finish business. If this is your twentieth year or more, they are out of your target age range to date on an ongoing basis. If she is really enthusiastic and skilled, she can be good for a slumpbuster. If this is your tenth reunion, she can be a regular member of the bullpen; continue to run game overall.

Has going to a reunion ever worked out for you? Tell us in the comments below. I was only a Free Man for my ten year. I can assure you that women who never would have dated me in high school have become much more friendly to me since.