I lived with my best friend and her husband for a few months after moving to a new state.What could go wrong?
They recently went through a rough patch and she took a vacation to cool off. In her absence, and under the influence of a great deal of alcohol, her husband and I slept together.We all know alcohol lowers inhibitions. That is why women who feel that they need and excuse to fornicate will drink, and why men will try to get them to drink. However, it is not an excuse for behavior, certainly not for this adultery.
We decided it happened only because we were drunk and decided never to speak of it again.We'll see, now won't we?
The problem is -- it happened again, this time with almost no alcohol involved at all!Ah-HA! I swear I didn't read ahead.
I'm reluctant to tell my friend about our trysts. I think telling her will do more harm than good. On the other hand, the guilt eats at me every day to the point that I cry over what I've done to her. Her husband doesn't want to tell her, ever. What should I do?There was a time in which I would definitely say "Tell". But now my question is – do they have minor kids? If they do, shut up and deal with your guilt without bothering your friend (to whom you have not been much of a friend). If they don't have minor kids, tell her. She may not believe you, but at least she'll be warned and can decide whether or not to leave before making children (if she is in that age window) or counting on him to be there with her through retirement.
ALSO... never be alone with the guy again.
The kicker would be if the wife had sex on her vacation. In addition to alcohol, vacations are another way women rationalize fornication. "It doesn't count if it happens on vacation or out of the country." But if the letter writer and the wife are really best friends, the wife would have likely told the letter writer about the vacation sex or any other time she cheated on her hubby. And the writer would have mentioned that.