How to Date Without Spending A Lot

GARY IN LONGWOOD, FLA, whose father must be out of the picture, wrote in to Dear Abby to ask:

How do you attract single women while on a budget?

Joke about the name of the place you are from. Actually, no, that’s probably not a good idea.

Everyone should be on a budget, regardless of income. There is also no reason to spend a lot of money dating women you don't know. First of all, if you’re a Category 3, then any woman who dates you should understand that you are reserving your money for your marriage. She should appreciate that you plan so well for the future with your wife.

But if you're a Category 4, one of the important things to discover about life is that a woman generally decides whether or not she's going to have sex with you within the first few minutes of seeing you, before you have spent a dime on her. So you don't need to spend money on her - but it is helpful to let her or lead her to believe that you do have money, so she thinks there will be some nice expensive gifts later on.

So, dress nicely. You don't have to spend a lot of money to look like you have it. Get in shape if you aren't, and keep yourself clean and groomed. After all, you have to catch her eye.

Tom Leykis (who I've been referencing a lot of lately – I guess I miss his old radio show) advised never spending more than $40 on a date. Spending less, according to him, is even better.

Sit in a bar like you are waiting for a buddy to show up, and don't stare at the women. Hot women hate to be ignored, and they already know the guys who are crowding them and buying them drinks are interested, so eventually some of them will start to approach you, and even ask if you'd buy them a drink. Tell them you don’t buy drinks for women you don’t know, but while you’re waiting you can talk. If they walk away, then you've just smoked out a woman who is just looking for guys to buy her drinks.

Or, rather than waiting, have a buddy help you out with a plausible story. He has to behave like he doesn’t know you. He can approach one the choice women and explain that he's a fan of yours… that you are the next great golfer or that you're a great businessman/investor who is rising quickly up the list of the richest people in the world… but he's too embarrassed to ask for your autograph himself, so he needs her to get it. You can return the favor for him next time.

It is fairly easy to create bogus ATM receipts with inflated numbers. Act like it is the only thing you have to write your number on.

You should try to take her back to her place rather than yours, but there are things you can do in case you do end up at your place. Leave bogus bank statements with inflated numbers where the little snoop will find them when you're out of the room. You can also have a friend record a fake answering machine message you can pretend to be listening to for the first time, in which your friend plays the part of your business lawyer or agent or manager and tells you that the deal has been completed, or maybe he is the head of you accounting team and he reports that he has confirmed the transfer of the several hundreds of thousands of dollars into your account. Hey, then it is time to celebrate, right?

You can explain away your meager car and place as temporary because you're in from out of town, or you had a fire, or any other number of excuses.

In setting up a date, ask her, "What time are you having dinner?" She'll tell you. Then tell her you’ll meet her for drinks at a time that is about 90 minutes later than that. Or, if possible, offer to bring over some wine and a DVD (Don’t bring over a movie with rape or sexual assault or anything that is going to turn her off.) If you do get snookered in to taking her to dinner, eat before you meet up with her, then order the salad. Most women would never order something heavier than what their date is ordering.

Conversely, if she calls you and asking what you're doing on the weekend, answer "Having sex."

It is possible for poor guys to get women. Even condemned murderers get women, but that’s because they have some level of fame. Some women are having sex as casual as can be these days, but they want some excuse and some plausible deniability. Letting them think you are rich and letting them drink provides both.

Oh, by the way, Dear Abby responded:

Matinees cost less for admission than late shows, and if there are any museums that are not too far away, check out free museum days.

True. But do not take her to the movies or museum if you’re a Category 4.

A picnic in the park or a day at the beach doesn't cost a lot -- and neither do outdoor activities such as biking or hiking.

True. The beach, biking, and hiking are also a good excuse to offer to soap her up in the shower. However, you want to avoid seeing her in the daylight if you are a Category 4.

You really don't have to have a lot of money to attract a nice woman. And anyone who makes you feel otherwise is someone you should run from.

No, you don’t need to have a lot of money to attract a nice woman. But attracting a hot woman usually involves appearing to have a lot of money (or fame, or power), or the potential to get some. Let's cut the crap. Even a "nice" woman wants some level of financial security. If she's looking to get married and raise kids, that takes at least enough money to pay the bills on a suitable home and everything else that goes along with raising a family. Other women want a guy with money so that they can buy stuff they don't need or live a life of leisure while paid help takes care of everything, including any kids.

Some people like to say that it doesn't matter that the guy isn't well off financially, but let's get real. How many highly attractive women spend a lot of time with broke guys?

Fortunately for those of us in the USA, it is still possible for a guy to work his way up the economic ladder.

And while I do not condone lying, I also don't condone women fornicating because they think they are getting their hands on a rich guy.