"Why Can't Men Be Upfront and Honest?" - Part 5

In Part 1, I explained that men who get scarce around certain holidays and special days keep women from thinking of them as husband material, and thus are avoiding leading women on.

In Part 2, I explained that "bad boys" who aren't forthcoming and honest are rewarded with NSA sex.

In Part 3, I explained how this sorts out the women who are leading men on.

In Part 4, I showed how women often aren't upfront and honest.

Here in Part 5, I will be upfront and honest.

Here's honesty for you.

Male nature is such that what we want is frequent sex, and a variety of it at that, including what you might think of as perverted or degrading sex. We want sex with multiple young, hot women, whether one at a time or in groups. We like seeing their bodies, we like seeing them do sexual things. We want to have sex with just about any woman we see who isn't hideous. We want good food, especially if someone else is preparing it. We want appreciation, gratitude, admiration, and respect. We want to feel accomplished, and like heroes or conquerors. We want to hang out with the guys sometimes, away from women.

In this nature, we DON'T want to jump through a lot of hoops to get what we want. We don't want to pledge and live out being exclusive to one woman. We don't want our ears talked off with the same complaints over and over again, especially about something we can't or won't change; we don't want to hear criticisms, nagging, griping, whining, or endless babbling about subjects we don't care about. We don't want to pay your bills, pay your way, dance, buy you flowers or chocolates, or buy you a ring. We don't want to get "honey do lists". We don't want to be subjected to PMS, mood swings, deal with your catty friends or whacked out family, or raise another man's kids. We might be willing to do/endure these things to get what we want or because we have been indoctrinated/trained to think we're supposed to. Men who run game well mostly don't do these things.

If we could have our way, you'd have great sex with us whenever we want, never let yourself go, stop talking our ear off, take care of the kids until they are old enough to play ball or fish with us (if we want kids), keep the house clean, do the laundry, make our meals, get along nicely with our family and friends, and otherwise stay out of our way. This isn't to say we don't enjoy hanging out with you or that spouses aren't friends (especially if our testicles have just been emptied and our bellies are full - otherwise, we're focused on getting there), but there's a whole lot of things in relationships we don't naturally want to do.

There are always a few men who object. "I like dancing! I like taking a woman out on a really nice date!" There are always exceptions, outliers, guys who are in denial or have denied themselves, and not everyone wants exactly the same thing all of the time. Again, some men are sticking with an indoctrination/training or think they have to do/say these things to get what they really want.

I'm sure many of you women reading this are saying "There are things we want and don't want, too, things we tolerate in men that we'd rather not have deal with!" EXACTLY!!! That's why I encourage men to stay free. For every Free Man, there will be a free woman (unless she insists on being a sister wife or a mistress.) I encourage men to NOT subject women to things they don't want; don't get possessive of them or demanding of their time. Keep interactions to a bare minimum.

Here's an example of  guy who was doing it right.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

"Why Can't Men Be Upfront and Honest?" - Part 2

Part 1 of This Series

Short answer: Because that doesn't get them what they want. 

Longer answer:

Letting things go unspoken, letting women continue with their self-created delusions and misperceptions, engaging women by running game gets men what they want.

Let's consider a very familiar scenario.

Men and Women Do NOT Need Each Other

No, Dennis Prager, men and women do NOT need each other.

Pathological as he is, Dennis Prager raised the issue again during the weekly "Male/Female Hour" on his program, on December 6, 2023.

He said he doesn't know (heterosexual) men who say men don't need women. He must be ignoring or selectively forgetting some of his mail.

A man can live his entire life and thrive without a woman. A woman can live her entire life and thrive without a man. There are people who are doing this right now. There are people who've done it.

No individual person needs to reproduce. But yes, both a man and a woman are needed for reproduction ...for now. Science is rapidly ending that.

Sex? Clearly sex isn't a NEED, because many husbands are living without it. And many people say people should wait until they marry to have sex, and some of those people also say people shouldn't marry before they are 28. So sex may be a very strong WANT, but it isn't a need. And again, science/technology and art are making better and better masturbation aids, to the point in which it may become difficult to distinguish it from sex. Also, people can and do have sex without living together or being in an ongoing relationship that involves anything other than sex. I'm sure that's not what Dennis is talking about.

The government needs people to pay taxes, especially for their ponzi schemes. But male taxpayers don't need any of the taxpayers to be women, and vice-versa.

There are still some jobs for which it is very hard to find women to do them. But again, technology is making that less and less the case, and for now it means that women need men, not "a" man to herself. For this, men don't need women.

Dennis can’t even say men, or, more precisely, boys, need women for breastfeeding, as he has been a staunch denier of the need for breastfeeding.

People CAN live happy fulfilled, productive, honorable, worthwhile lives without ever living with the opposite sex, without working with them, and without having any as friends.

Men and women don't need each other.

Running Game - Young Men Have Time On Their Side

If you're a young man or boy who is frustrated, anxious, or down about your experiences (or lack of them) with women, I want you to know that if you play your cards right, time is on your side.

Media and the rumor mill make it look like "every" guy except you (and a few "incels") are scoring with the ladies. But that's not true. There are many, many men in your situation.

You don't have to be handsome, tall, strong, rich, accomplished, powerful, or famous, or romance them like some guy in a romantic comedy or princess fantasy, to have fun with the ladies.

Time is on your side.

 

Why is that? Because as men get older, they tend to have more of what hot women want, and as women get older, they tend to have less of what most men want. That's true, even if it sounds unfair, sexist, misogynistic, or whatever anyone wants to say about it. Like it or not. It's a demonstrable fact. Look around. Older men, including those who are plain looking or downright ugly, can get young, hot, attractive women. In fact, part of your current struggle might be the result of the attractive women your age being busy with older men. In most relationships and marriages in which there is an age gap of more than few years, it's almost always that the guy is older and the woman younger. To some extent, this can even be seen in high school. There are attractive girls who go to at least one prom for every year of high school, because 11th and 12th grade guys want them. How many 9th or 10th grade guys are going to prom? Not many.

You don't see supermodels dating guys working in a fast food joint. Meanwhile, the sexiest men in the world usually don't care what the women they date do as jobs.

Women seek the man with the most wealth/power/fame their looks can attract, and men get the youngest and hottest women their wealth/power/fame can attract. The bigger the diamond on a woman's finger, the thinner the finger, unless she's a very rare case who was able to buy it herself or inherited it.

There are hot women you want right now, who think they'd never ever go out with you. But as time ticks by, as they age, as their youth slips away, as they gain baggage and lose fertility, the pool of guys they can date gets smaller and smaller. Almost all women, even the most beautiful, "hit the wall." Meanwhile, if you do things right, the pool of women you can date will get larger and larger (the pool will... the women won't.... I mean, the larger ones will wish they could date you, but you'll have your pick).

None of this is to say that poor men or fat or unattractive women can't be great people. Many of them are! This is strictly about the realities of dating.

And you don't actually have to be rich, powerful, or famous. But if you stay free and manage your wealth well, you will have plenty of "disposable" income as you get older.

Guys in their late 30s, their 40s, their 50s who don't have kids, don't have alimony payments, haven't lost their wealth in a divorce, have their act together, and don't have a wife or "exclusive" girlfriend are in high demand.

Time is on your side, young men.

"But what about right now?" Get your presentation together and working for you. And if that doesn't do it, well, more on that another time.

Porn Panic From the Right

Dennis Prager talks about panics from the Left. Here an example of panic from the right, as expressed in two essays, which are very much like countless other essays and commentaries throughout the years.

"Susan" wrote on her blog at the URL https://thesparrowshome.com/pornography-is-destructive/ under the title "Hugh Hefner, Dennis Prager, and the Destructive Nature of Pornography" in October of 2017:

Hugh Hefner died last week. While I don’t revel in his death, the phrase ‘good riddance’ did cross my mind.  Hefner contributed heavily to bringing pornography to the mainstream, making it more easily accessible and normalized. Grieving his death never entered my mind.

If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone. Have you ever taken a real art history course? Or seen early movies, before the "code" days?

Dr. Laura Asked If Men Are Idiots for Marrying

On her Tuesday, March 22, 2022 program, Dr. Laura read part of something from Jordan Gray found at Good Men Project. It was titled "I Used To Think That Men Who Got Married Were Idiots."

I used to think that men who got married were idiots.

Or, if they weren’t idiots, they were at least undesirable enough that they just had to settle for whoever chose them… because why else would you tie yourself to someone for life if the reason weren’t that you didn’t have any other romantic options?

I mean, seriously… getting married??

Okay so… you get a couple of months of hot sex, in exchange for a lifetime of indentured servitude to someone who eventually takes you for granted and sees you as a walking wallet and then stops having sex with you and makes jokes with her friends about what a dumbass you are? And that’s if you even manage to stay together… because what’s even more likely is that she eventually leaves you, takes the kids, and steals half of your life savings in the process.

Who in their right mind would sign up for such a thing?

Didn’t these guys realize that, if you really break down the benefits of marriage into their fundamental components, you could hire out all of these needs for way less money than what your lifestyle of snotty nosed kids and inevitable divorce would cost you?

And I’m not speaking hyperbolically here!

Here, I’ll prove it to you…

You could hire someone to come to your house to do a deep clean every other week for, depending on the size of your house, let’s say $200/month.

You don’t want to cook for yourself? Okay, you could hire a meal prepping service who could make your lunches and dinners (you can fend for yourself with a super simple breakfast) for $2,000/month.

Okay, cooking and cleaning are taken care of for less than the cost of your mortgage payment… what’s left? Oh right, the big one. Sex!

Depending on how fancy you are and the legality of sex work in your local area, you could see a sex worker every week for the rest of your life and spend no more than $1-2,000 per month on that expense.

So if you tally up the monthly costs of outsourcing predictable, guaranteed, high-quality cooking, cleaning, and sex… you’re looking at no more than $50,000 per year in total expenses. Now, that might sound like a lot to some in the short-term… but if you compare that to the average cost of raising children, and the amount of money you’ll inevitably have to shell out in your divorce, this is an absolute bargain.

That's where she stopped reading. She took calls from men after that, asking them "Are men idiots for getting married?" At first, she wanted calls from married men, but she had trouble getting enough calls, so she took them from any men (who passed the screeners). The thing is, Dr. Laura promotes marriage. When she deviates from her program's usual format for things like this, she wants a specific answer. It isn't really her trying to give people time to say whatever they want. She will deny anything that goes against her point.

Gray's essay was pretty good up until that point. I waited for her to go back to finish reading the piece, but she never did. Let's see why.

"Why Can't Men Be Upfront and Honest?" - Part 3

Part 1 of This Series

Part 2 of This Series

Women usually know within the first five minutes of meeting a guy whether or not they'd ever have sex with him. But it isn't like they'll tell the man. That would be upfront and honest.

Unless they are asexual or something is wrong with them, men want sex. Depending on their morals, religion, strategy, etc., they might be willing to wait for sex. They might want sex AND [fill in the blank... marriage, family, etc.]. But we all want sex. If we didn't, we likely wouldn't have asked the woman to date, meet us, or let us come over.

"But women want sex, too" you might object.

Yes, most women do want sex, at least for part of their life. But the average woman doesn't want sex as much as the average man. The average man also wants sex with a wider variety of women than the variety of men women want to have sex with. The worldwide history of humanity demonstrates this. It is beyond the scope of this posting as to why that is. But it IS the case. A man would have sex with just about every woman he sees who isn't absolutely hideous.

So... in general, it is the man's role to pursue the sex, as he is more likely to want it, and intercourse doesn't happen if he isn't turned on. (Please note, I'm referring to the initiation of the relationship. Once a sexual relationship is established, of course it's great with most men if the woman takes the initiative sometimes.)

The man wants sex. Otherwise there wouldn't be a date. The woman may or may not want sex. She might be going on the date for freebies, attention, to affirm to herself or signal to others that she's desirable, leverage, or many other reasons instead of wanting sex with the guy. If he runs game, he will either smoke her out as not wanting sex with him, or he'll get to the sex with less effort/time/money/emotion than the man who doesn't run game.

She might want sex upon meeting him, but if she finds out something about him - and it depends on the woman what those things might be - she might not agree to sex. So, for the man who is primarily looking for sex, the less he reveals about his true self, the better. That's the case for most men. There are exceptions (very wealthy men, for example). She doesn't need to know any more about him because he's not there to live together, get married, and have children. He's there for sex. If she finds him attractive enough to have sex with him, between his physical appearance, his behavior with her, and what she thinks she knows about him, he doesn't want to say or do anything to change that.

But if she doesn't want to have sex with him, he wants to find that out as soon as he can so he can stop wasting time, money, and energy. She can be upfront and honest and tell him that right away.

Why would a man have an obligation to spend more effort/time/money/emotion than it takes for him to get what he wants? In these sorts of relationships, it is up to the individuals to seek out what they want, to initiate what they want, and to either agree to, or decline, what the other person initiates. These are not marriages. They are dating relationships, hookups, booty calls.

If the woman doesn't like what he's doing, she is entirely free to stop seeing him. She can be upfront and honest and tell him that it is her intention that she's not going to have sex with him (or have sex with him anymore) unless he spends more time and money on her, agrees to an exclusive girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, or whatever. Maybe he'll agree to wait or change the relationship. Or maybe he'll carry on as he has, and she will still allow him to show up for a booty call, despite what she's said. If she stays true to her word, he can either agree to the terms or move on.

This is a dance. Men will dance in a way that gets them what they want. It's generally women who either reward the dancer or not.


Part 1 of This Series

Part 2 of This Series

Part 4 in This Series

Save the World, Ladies!

 

There are people who appear to be very, very worried about adult media or erotic media or p-rn.

They say it’s ruining men, exploiting women to the point of trafficking, and even destroying society.

Wow! That sounds dire.

Something has to be done about such a serious threat.

Fortunately, men who are regularly, perhaps daily, with attractive, naked women and climaxing, especially through methods like enthusiastic fellatio, tend to watch much less p-rn, especially if they are getting those experiences for little or no expense.

So, ladies, the solution is at hand (so to speak).

Women can greatly reduce men’s viewing of erotic media by giving men lots of great, enthusiastic sex for little cost. Surely it’s worth it to do this, if erotic media is so destructive.

Get to it ladies! Approach a man today, tomorrow, and every day and save the world!

Running Game - What To Do On Dates

When a man is running game, here's how the ideal date goes:

It's dark out. You haven't seen her in a week or more.

You get a text from her that invites you over.

You go to her place.

Within five minutes of arriving, you're doing what you want to do.

After you're done doing what you want to do, you leave. You're not there to stick around to cuddle, snuggle, spoon, move furniture, fix the garbage disposal, or any of that.

To get to that point, though, you'll probably have to have other dates, first.

Running Game - Why Not Be a Romantic Gentleman?

Most of running game involves going AGAINST what you might think, what you've been told, works.

Don't go on dates arranged by coworkers or family members.
Don't buy her gifts.
Don't bring her flowers.
Don't meet her for lunch or coffee.
Don't take her out to a nice dinner.
Don't call her the next day.
Don't shower her with compliments.
Don't make holidays, her birthday, and anniversaries special for her.
Don't seek to make a good impression on her family and friends.
Don't be yourself or be your best self.

It works better for you if you don't show that you care, if you don't tell her everything about you, if you're not agreeable to everything she wants, if you don't show much effort, if you're not available most of the time, if you don't agree to see only her. Refusing to help her with her problems, compromise, or jump through hoops to impress her; acting like you have better things to do; and going after what you really want works.

Why would media lie to you? Because most media tries to appeal to what women want to see.

Why would your mother, grandmother, stepmother, aunt, sister, female coworkers, female neighbors, female friends lie to you?

Few, if any, of them are intentionally lying to you. They will say what they think sounds nice, or think they're supposed to say. But their goal isn't to get you laid, unless you have a very unusual relationship with them. Their goal is to get you paired up with a "nice", agreeable (to them) woman who will be their ally, their friend. The women in your life will tell you what they want men to do when they use those men for finance, labor, status, access, attention. Of course they want to be put on a pedestal and treated well. Oh, sure, they like it a lot when a man takes them out to a nice, expensive restaurant. Wouldn't you like it if someone paid for your nice dinner? Wouldn't you like someone to signal they will make your life financially easier? But that doesn't mean they'll be a great lover to the guy who does those things; usually quite the opposite. Even most articles, books, videos, or forum threads with women giving men advice on how to get laid will tell you what they WISH worked. But what actually works to get you what you want with as little trouble as possible is running game.

Romantic Gentlemen spend a lot of time, money, and effort, and what they get - if anything - is waiting for one woman until she's done "having her fun," is jaded and saddled, often, with debt, diseases, and kids. This woman might be available to him sometimes when it comes to what he wants. She'll always be available to let him pay for things and do chores for her, though.

Meanwhile, the guys running game enjoy the company of many different women without doing or dealing with much they don't want to. They don't spend much time, money, or effort to get what they want, and they do get what they want. Ask me how I know.

Running game works. Being the Romantic Gentlemen might work, if you want to be a doormat, a butler, and walking wallet.

How to Keep Your Friends Free - Rescue, Recovery, and Restoration

Despite your best efforts with Prevention and Intervention, some of the guys you know are going to sacrifice themselves for what will likely be a lost cause. They're going to get married, or shack up, or otherwise entangle themselves in a woman's life in a way that gives away their freedom. Or maybe they did so before you had the chance to even try to instill in them the value of freedom.

The good news is that many of those guys will be dumped or will escape, and thus gain back some of their freedom, albeit heavily damaged and, often, compelled to make ongoing payments.

That's where you come in with the rescue, recovery, and restoration.

Of course, this depends on you having either stayed in contact or having left the door open. If these guys can't find you or don't think you want to hear from them, you're not going to be able to help.

 

Hopefully, if you knew them before they climbed down that ladder and were able to warn them, they'll remember that while so many other people were encouraging them to make what was perhaps the worst change they've ever volunteered to make, YOU were telling them the truth, even if they didn't like hearing it.

I've written about this before, but that was with a focus on you. I'm expanding here on what you can do for these guys. Some of these guys will have forgotten how to live as Free Men, or how to enjoy life, or even make their own decisions.

• If you can, and you don't have reason to believe he'll become a permanent mooch, offer him a place to crash.
  
  
• Refer him to a good family law attorney, if he doesn't have one, and if he needs one. He WILL need one if he was married, has a child, or co-mingled accounts/assets with her.
   
• If he seems to need it, refer him to a good Free Man-friendly therapist.
  
  
• Get him back to having fun doing the things he enjoys doing. Don't be discouraged if he doesn't seem to be immediately enjoying himself. He might not have given himself permission to enjoy his freedom yet. Yes, there are some things he may never resume, but he needs to at least give himself the opportunity.
  
  
• Listen carefully to what he says. Try to listen as much as possible, but you might need to point out, even interrupt him when he talking to remind him, that he is reclaiming his freedom, and to stop thinking like a husband. He needs to stop limiting himself and deferring to her or what she wanted. She doesn't get to decide anymore, and can't punish him anymore.
  
  
• If he ever talks about missing her or wanted to try to work it out with her, remind him of the terrible things she did and that going back to her would be throwing away the freedom and autonomy he's regained.
  
  
• There is the risk of him thinking "Maybe it was just her." The risk of him feeling like he has to be a husband. Consult the Prevention entry of this series. Go back to the basics. Especially if he has kids, it's even more important to stay as free as he can. Also, second marriages or marriages in which there are stepchildren have a much higher divorce rate. His children don't need the chaos having new women to meet. He needs to keep any involvement with new women very casual.
  
  
• He might miss the sex, even if it was infrequent and bland. He needs to know how to run game or sublimate.
  
  
• Set up regular get-togethers and outings, especially on Fridays and Saturdays, either with a group of guys or just the two of you. The more fun a recovering man has as a Free Man, the better!
  

This is the end of the series for now, although I will probably write and entry that addresses how to apply this when dealing with your own son.

How to Keep Your Friends Free - Prevention

How to Keep Your Friends Free - Intervention

Use This Neat Trick to Have More Free Time, Money, and Happiness

DO NOT MARRY! Don't live with a woman. Do not promise exclusivity to a woman. Do not spend money on women (at least not more than $60 per date.)

That will leave you with more free time, more money, and happiness as you'll have a peaceful home and get to do what you want, when you want, how you want.

Stay free. Stay a Free Man.

You can have a full, happy, productive life without ever marrying.

Most men shouldn't marry.

You weren't born with a wife.

You don't need a wife.

There's a lack of marriageable women. Red flags abound.

Marriage is a bad deal for most men.

Most marriages fail.

Here's my open letter to Dennis Prager countering his encouragement of men to marry.

You Don't Need a Girlfriend

Boys and men need to know that they don't need a wife and don't even need an exclusive girlfriend.

When I was growing up, what I learned from media - everything from advertisements to movies to television shows to books and especially music - was that "everyone" had a girlfriend and then a wife. If there was a breakup with the girlfriend, you had to find another girlfriend. This was how to be happy. Guys who didn't have a girlfriend or a wife, if they weren't gay or Catholic priests, were losers. My parents didn't tell me that, but they had each other. I didn't have an older brother to show me any differently.

It wasn't until I was heading into my mid-twenties that I finally realized what a load of crap that message was.

A really awful engagement was ending and I realized I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than endure any more of that.

I could have saved myself all sorts of trouble, all sorts of negative thinking going all the way back to sixth grade, if I had learned that it is OKAY, even preferable, to NOT have an exclusive girlfriend. Ever!

How to Keep Your Friends Free - Prevention

I have a habit of writing some really long entries, but I'm going to try to post some things as series instead, to keep them from getting too long. With that in mind, I'm starting a series about how Free Men can keep their friends free. Even if you're not a Free Man, you can use some of these tactics to help other men stay free.

The best way to help other men stay free is through PREVENTION. Helping them from getting into a mess in the first place is the ideal. It's best to do things proactively and prophylacticly, BEFORE he gets into an exclusive relationship.

Here's how.

• Point out to each Free Man (especially young men) in your life why he doesn't want to climb down that ladder, down into that pit in which a woman will have more and more control over his life.
  
  
• Point out that legal marriage is a bad deal for most men, most marriages fail, and men can have happy, full, productive lives without ever legally marrying.
   
• When these guys aren't in "exclusive" relationships, point out the benefits to them of being a Free Man and why they wouldn't want to give that up.
  
  
• When he's doing something he enjoys, with or without you, point out how he either wouldn't be able to do it or do it the way he wants, or it would cost him a lot more, if he was tied down to a woman, especially with kids.
  
  
• Point out that being a Free Man is our default state, and even marriage-sellers say marriage is hard work and takes a lot of compromise and sacrifice. 
  
  
• Point out to him how a newlywed woman butches up and blimps up. There will be examples in his life and in media.
  
  
• Point out that women use sex as a loss leader and do "bait and switch" all of the time. They are on their "best behavior" during early dating because they are trying to lock him in. Things will never be better with a woman than the first 3 to 6 months. 
  
  
• Point out examples of men suffering because they gave up their freedom and autonomy. They can be men you know or men in the news. Point out the beaten dogs, the emasculated guys, the ones whose balls are in their purse of the woman who owns him. Point out when guys waste their lives arguing with a woman. Point out the men who've been or are being put through the wringer in divorce.
  
  
• Point out that a Free Man gets to control his own calendar/social schedule, and how his money is spent.
  
  
• Point out that he doesn't need a girlfriend, and he certainly doesn't need a wife.
  
  
• Encourage him to avoid dating just one woman, and to avoid giving a woman the impression he's only dating her, and to avoid seeing any given woman more than once per week.
  
  
• Debunk the misleading marriage-selling statements he might hear, like the one about the sex in marriage being more frequent and better.
  
  
• Discuss Red Flags with him.
  
  
• If a woman he's dating is giving him grief, is too much work, or possessive, point out that there are plenty of other women and he doesn't have to date her.
  
  
• Frequently get together, whether at home or wherever else, to enjoy doing things as Free Men.
  
  
• Share with him the tactics you find helpful for staying a Free Man. For example, encourage vasectomies. Encourage having a holiday season game plan.
  

Of course, you can send him whatever entries and pages from this blog you find helpful.

If you have other tips you think should be added, comment below.

This entry turned out to be long anyway, and it might get longer still. In the next installment of this series, I plan to write about what to do when he's getting into an "exclusive" relationship or already is, and might be heading for the marriage trap.

UPDATE: Here's the Intervention entry in this series.

UPDATE: Here's the Recovery entry in this series.

Running Game - Get Them Competing

Most women want men other women want.

Any man who pays attention has noticed how more women will flirt with him if they see him with a woman, or know that he has a girlfriend, or see him wearing a wedding ring.

Most women ultimately want the same ten percent of men, but most have to "settle." You want her to think either you're in or heading to that top ten percent, or that you're her stepping stone to reach those men, or a good consolation prize. You do that by letting her know she has competition, even if she doesn't yet.

"Why Can't Men Be Upfront and Honest?" - Part 1

A woman created a Twitter account apparently to respond to what I say in posts like this one, in which I encourage men to avoid being with a woman, on certain days/times of the year, who is thinking of you as potential husband material, or who you've been seeing on a regular basis.

This woman said:

"If you're noticing a girl likes you enough to be developing feelings for you and actually wants to spend time with you she at least deserves to not be strung along. It's pretty amazing how callously some men treat some women."

And:

"I’m just saying be honest and up front about not wanting a relationship so she is privy to what your intentions are."

By telling men to get scarce and avoid being with a woman he's been seeing during those days, I'm encouraging men to prevent or stop her from thinking of him as someone who is going to be part of her life with her friends and family, or thinking of him as shackup or husband material.

I'm addressing men who do not want to be married and do not want to even live with a woman. Ideally, these men are only seeing these women for dates (visits or booty calls) that don't involve meeting her friends or family.

If she's thinking it's more, or hoping for or wanting more, that's her problem. Nothing more should have been inferred.

Avoiding the woman during those times avoids leading her on!

It's up to her whether not she will see him again if he asks to see her after those days have passed.

There is far more to write about this, but I'll save that for another entry or two or three.

Part 2 of This Series

Running Game - When She Starts Getting Lazy

When you're running game at expert level, and you have a full roster with extra players waiting in the bullpen, one reason to drop a member of your roster is if she drops any one thing you like off the sexual menu or her sexual repertoire. You should have made it clear you like it, and since you did when she did it, and she's done it for you before, she shouldn't have dropped it.

Dropping it means she's either getting comfortable and thinks she has you locked in - meaning she was doing it to reel you in with no intention of continuing to do it, or she's on her way out/favors another guy to the point she doesn't care about doing what you want anymore.

Either way, don't talk with her about it. Don't complain, don't whine, don't demand, don't argue, don't pressure. Don't "negotiate." What's the point? If she wanted to do it, she would have. Desire can't be negotiated.

Don't say anything at all to her. Simply ghost her. If she tries to talk with you after you ghost her, it's because she thought she had you locked in, or the other guy didn't work out. (You should always assume they are seeing other guys; don't indicate you want to be exclusive.)

"Dropping it" would be on a three strikes or less basis. For example, let's say it's fellatio. There can be legitimate reasons she won't want to do it once or twice, like dental work, cold sores, etc. But when it is three times in a row (meaning, over three or more weeks), it means she's dropped it off the menu.

Guys who fall into the trap of thinking they want an "exclusive" relationship tend to end up simply accepting this stuff, because they aren't seeing anyone else and don't want to "start over" with someone else. That is a very common way men end up having a terrible sex life. Early on, she's trying to hook you in. She's auditioning. Don't stick around for it when she stops doing what you like.

One Sign It is Time to Move On

My Core Advice To Men

AVOID LEGALLY MARRYING

One of the main reasons this blog still exists to urge most men to refuse to legally marry.

JUST SAY NO, GUYS!!!

Legal marriage is a terrible state contract that's a bad deal for most men, most marriages fail, and men can have happy, full, productive, honorable lives, getting everything they want out of life without ever legally marrying. It has never been easier to do so!

Furthermore, most men shouldn’t legally marry because 1) they aren’t suited to it, 2) aren’t positioned to do it, 3) aren’t living in a culture that supports it, and 4) won’t find a suitable woman with whom they could.

Being unmarried is our default state. Don't propose marriage, don't accept marriage proposals, don't sign any paperwork that could inaugurate a legal marriage. To get married, you have to do something. Why do those things if being legally married isn't worth it and is likely to be harmful to you? There simply is no good reason, for most men, to get legally married. The question isn't "Why aren't you married?" or "Why not get married?" It's "Why would I get married?" There's no good answer to that, for most men.

You can have much more time, money, freedom, and peace if you stop trying to find and keep a wife. Embrace being a free man. Enjoy your independence. Date or hook up if you want. But avoid entering that terrible state contract called marriage.

People who tell you to get legally married are selling you something hoping to benefit themselves.

Legally marrying takes power, money, autonomy, freedom, and choices away from you. That terrible state contract means you'll be inviting the state further into your personal life and you'll take on responsibilities, obligations, chores, risks, limitations, restrictions, aggravations, annoyances, irritations, nagging, arguments, compromises, and sacrifices without any guaranteed benefit for you, and what benefits you might get can all be obtained without legally marrying.

Answering Marriage Seller Assertions, Talking Points, and Questions - Part 11

 

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here and Part 3 here and Part 4 here and Part 5 here and Part 6 here and Part 7 here and Part 8 here and Part 9 here and Part 10 here.

Marriage channels male sexuality.

This is an unproven assertion. It depends entirely on the opinions of the person asserting it and how they are defining terms. The words used can mean different things. But there is no definitive, clear way to prove that John Doe is better behaved because he married, or his dis-likeable behavior is because he's unmarried. It's one of those statements that sounds good, and marriage sellers simply rely on people nodding their head in agreement rather than questioning what it even means.

Most marriages in the USA (and maybe another country you're in) involve the expectation of monogamy, or at least the wife's veto over the husband's sexual desires. This is usually what the marriage seller means: beating a man down. Putting him on a leash (and not in the kinky way). Putting aside swinging, threesomes, hotwifing (ask Jerry Falwell Jr. to explain that one to you), polyamory, "plural marriage," and other forms of having the wife officially on board with her husband having other partners, many married men still have mistresses and affair partners, flings/one night stands, or go to prostitutes.

It might help to ask the marriage seller who uses this argument "What do you mean by that?" Maybe they will hallucinate about an imaginary person, or they will tell on themselves.

What exactly are they afraid would happen if even fewer men married? Men who want to have sex with women can't have sex with women unless those women agree or unless it is rape. So are they worried that a man who decides not to marry is going to rape? Or that he's going to get consent from many different women? Or... what exactly? If they're worried about rape, what they're telling you is that a woman should marry a rapist because they think it's more likely he'll only rape her. If they are worried the man is going to conceive children he won't take care of, well, plenty of married men do that. But how about encouraging vasectomies? If they claim "children without fathers" is their concern, ask them if it would be OK if he had a vasectomy, or was only with women incapable of conceiving or they always avoided intercourse.

It's funny that some of the same marriage sellers who make this assertion also say that married men get more sex. So... unmarried men have "unchanneled" sexuality, but aren't having much sex? That would be their claim, anyway.

This assertion might boil down to "I don't like the way you/other unmarried men are carrying on." So what? So what if this other person doesn't like it? I see husbands and wives do a lot of things I don't like.

Again, varying replies might work, depending.

A) Running game also channels male sexuality.

B) Male sexuality can be channeled without a terrible state contract.

C) I channel my sexuality very well without a terrible state contract.

D) Men can be monogamous or otherwise restrained or responsible in their sexuality without a terrible state contract.

E) Marriage starves male sexuality.

As with many other things in life, do not simply accept assertions and claims as true without questioning them. So many of the arguments marriage sellers use are flimsy and depend on you simply accepting a platitude.

How to Keep Your Friends Free - Intervention

As I wrote in the first entry of this series, Prevention is ideal when keeping the men you know free.

Sometimes, Intervention will be required, because some of these men won't stay free. They will tie themselves down to a woman.

When a man is in, or heading towards, an "exclusive" relationship or the marriage trap, your assistance will mostly have to be more subtle to prevent him from getting locked in. He's getting sex from her (or, in rare cases he's not but he thinks he'll be getting some later), and he thinks it's the best or only sex he's going to have. He won't want to give it up. He might also be feeling pressure from his family or a religious congregation.

So, subtle will usually be the way to go. Being repetitively direct and blunt probably won't work. He's in LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. You're probably not going to get through to him with a frontal assault.