Free Men, and men who want to be, it's NOT to early to think about the holidays, and by that, I mean Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day.
There are two main considerations for you:
1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.
2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.
Don't do something something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.
You don't want to spend any of those days listed above with a woman who is thinking of you as the guy she wants to lock in.
There
are women who want you to take them to Halloween parties and events,
perhaps in a matching costume, so she can show off to other men. Don't
play that game. You will have other plans for those evenings. You can
still see her other nights around that time. But you'll need to become
scarce before Thursday, November 24 (if in the USA), and you're going to
stay scarce until Wednesday, February 15, 2023. Or, even later if her
birthday or what she considers an anniversary with you is in late
February.
Don't let any woman book trips or visits that include you, or glom on to your trips or plans during this time. NO NO NO!!!
Set
up a tickler on your phone for mid-November as a reminder that you're
going to need to avoid any woman you've been seeing regularly. This is
especially needed if you've made the mistake of letting her think of you
as a potential husband, or a boyfriend, or committed - or you've met
her family or friends.
Be scarce. Be busy. Be "working". Be
avoiding viruses. Heck, claim you need to quarantine. Don't answer her calls, texts, etc. or only respond
"late" to every third or fourth one, saying you're busy. (She shouldn't
know where you really live, or what you're actual phone's number is -
use Google Voice or something similar.)
If she won't see you again come February 15, so be it. There are many other women, if you still want to see any.
During
that time, as long as it isn't Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve/Day, or
New Year's Eve, it's fine to see women who aren't of the "commitment" or
"exclusive" thinking, at least when it comes to you. or new women, and
you can see a new woman who is alone and desperate on February 14, as
long as you're picking her up out and about, on the fly.
Or, use that time to hang out with friends, family, catch up on hobbies, do those chores you've been putting off, etc.
You
DO NOT want to be with a woman who is thinking that because you've been
seeing her for a while, and you're with her on those holidays and
special days, that you're going to be exclusive with her, or living with
her, or heading towards marriage. You DO NOT want to have to meet her
friends and family. You DO NOT want to have to buy her gifts, or pay her
way to some party or event or overpriced dinner or hotel room.
As far as dealing with the people in your life who harass you for being free, these might help:
How to Just Say No to Giving Up Your Freedom
Practical Advice For Men Avoiding Relationships
Read more:
We're Almost to February 14
Dealing With the Holidays
Stop! Don't Propose! Don't Marry!
Now is the Time, Guys
Sir, I must say that after three divorces, the avoiding family thing makes the most practical sense. No one from the first two divorces have made any effort at all to maintain ANY sort of contact or relationship whatsoever. So I must say, that spending time and effort just to please her is summarily a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteAt a deep, deep level, beyond all the social pretension, and pretending you don't care about her family/friends, and they don't care about you. Get real, and save time.