A Waste of Human Potential

People can be convinced to do just about anything, given the right conditions. You don't have to be stupid to allow yourself to fall into a trap. In fact, it often takes someone of high intelligence to be convinced to do some really bizarre things (think cultists who commit suicide together). Check out this Associated Press story by Jeff Karoub about Steven Demink, a very evil man who convinced some mothers to do some evil things. Please don’t think I’m excusing the mothers.

In real life, Steven Demink didn't have children, a college degree or a lasting career. Online, prosecutors say, he presented himself as Dalton St. Clair, an attractive single father and psychologist — a fantasy image authorities say the Michigan man used to persuade mothers across the country to commit unspeakable acts on their children.

Demink, 41, of Redford Township [Michigan, I’m thinking], preyed on single mothers for more than a year, prosecutors say, convincing them to sexually assault their children as a form of therapy. After pleading guilty Monday to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children, Demink faces 15 years to life in prison when he is sentenced in June.

How was he able to do this?

Demink's alter-ego was a single father of a 14-year-old girl, prosecutors said, and he posted pictures of male models as his headshots.

It's a good thing he really didn’t actually have children.

In some cases, court documents say, Demink promised the women a date if they followed through with his directions.

Playing on desperation for a walking ATM can get you far.

Since authorities arrested him in October, seven children were rescued and at least three mothers have been arrested. Prosecutors say all of the children are now safe.

Isn't that a little like saying that an arson burn victim is now safe because she is no longer on fire?

Authorities say Demink chatted with mothers from New Hampshire, Florida, Idaho and elsewhere, persuading them to engage in sexual acts with their children and send images via e-mail or through a live web stream. The children ranged in age from 3 to 15.

Of course Florida had to be part of this. So many strange stories involve that state.

Demink told U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen that before his arrest, he worked as a car salesman for about six months and before that for about five years at a local bank.

As if people didn't hate bankers and car salesmen enough already.

He said he completed a U.S. Customs and Border Protection training program in 2002 and worked for the Immigration and Naturalization Service for about a year.

That explains a lot.

As part of his plea agreement with prosecutors, seven charges against Demink were dropped.

I'm assuming the plea agreement was meant to spare victims a trial?

In one case, Demink started online chats with an Oregon woman about the sexual development of her 8-year-old autistic son, according to the plea agreement. He told her to engage in sexually explicit conduct with her son as a way to teach him about sex, prosecutors say, and she did so while Demink watched on a web camera.

You wonder how someone could fall for this, but people fall for all sorts of foolishness. I'm sure if we could be taken through how this happened step by step, we'd have a better understanding of how the mother could have suspended her judgment enough to do this. A lot of it could be the power we give to psychologists.

A Teton County Sheriff's Office report from December 2009 said the Idaho woman met "Daltonst28" on an online dating site called singleparentmeet.com. She told police she performed sex acts on her young son as directed by her online male friend.

The woman's mother, Eileen Schwab of Idaho, said she knows little of how Demink convinced her daughter to follow his orders. She said her daughter was "depressed and lonesome" after her divorce.

Good for Schwab. She decided to protect her grandchildren and the children of others over her protecting her own daughter from legal consequences.

Demink's attorney, Timothy Dinan, said his client "has expressed a lot of remorse" for what he did and has taken responsibility by pleading guilty.

He's probably just sorry he got caught. What a waste of human potential.

I'm glad law enforcement isn't letting the mothers off of the hook. I do wonder if the charges would have been the same and if the news article would have been the same if the sexes were switched - if this had been about some women convincing single fathers to molest their daughters.

Learn how to think clearly, critically, and discern. Don't blindly accept whatever "experts" tell you. Ask them to explain how they came to their conclusions. Some very intelligent and educated people have believed some very wrong things. Look for contradictions. And if something doesn't pass the smell test, think very hard more than once about it.

Mind Games

One of the blogs in my blogroll is "A Shrink For Men". It bills itself as "a blog for professional men in complicated relationships and dissatisfying careers combining psychology, insight, humor, irony, sexuality, and social commentary."

Although geared towards men, the ladies can find some important insight there – and it could be helpful to a brother, son, or friend.

I want to call special attention to this recent entry there, entitled "How Abusive Women Brainwash You". Some of the techniques described are also employed by abusive men, but men no doubt have other techniques women don’t tend to use. I am fascinated by brainwashing, but also groupthink and cultic behavior – which can both go hand in hand with brainwashing. A group doesn’t have to be overtly religious to be cultic – it could be a political group, a club, even just a bunch of people starting out as friends.

Here's a snippet from the essay, but I implore you to check out the whole thing.

You question your judgment, perceptions and sense of reality. She tells you she loves you yet continues to treat you horribly. You believe she loves you and that you must be a colossal jerk for her to always be so upset. If she's successfully isolated you or gotten you to isolate yourself, you can’t reality test her version of events or receive outside support. By this time, she's made you totally dependent upon her and solely focused upon pleasing her, gaining her approval and avoiding her wrath or disapproval. You probably feel completely alone. Alternatively, if you're still in contact with friends and family, you fear that if you tell them what's going on that they wouldn't believe you or wouldn’t understand.

FLDS Women

FLDS women (from the polygamous compound where the children were taken away) appeared in the media today to defend their cult... uh, I mean religion. Actually, it is a cult, by both theological definition (because it claims to be a religion that it isn't) and sociological definition.

It's the sociological that I'm going to focus on.

The women said they were free to leave the cult property at any time, but that they didn't want to.

Of course they didn't want to.

First of all, it would mean never being able to be with their children again. They'd be leaving the only life they've ever known.

But there are psychological factors at work besides that. They've been raised since birth to believe that:

1. They would be leaving the only true church, thus turning their backs on God.

2. They would be evil and lost people if they left.

3. The outside world is thoroughly evil and dangerous and would corrupt them.

4. They would be of no use (other than for evil) and unable to make a living in the evil outside world. I mean really- how much education have they had? How much job training?

These women believe they'd wither away without their busbands, and would be lost souls without their church leaders.

So, while they were perhaps free to leave (and perhaps they weren't after all - how do we really know?), they have been conditioned since birth to be severly averse to doing so.

Such is one of the problems with cults.

And where are all the boys? With polygamy as the FLDS practice, there is only room for so many men. After all, how is a man going to have multiple wives to himself if there are roughly the same men and women? So some boys get cast out, and I fear, worse. I wonder how many male births are "stillborn"?

Sad stuff.