Why Do Men Like Lingerie?

Why do men like lingerie?

For men who like women to wear lingerie, there are two basic reasons:

1) It looks more revealing and sexier than baggy sweatpants, granny panties, or just about anything else a woman would wear other than skimpy swimsuits or revealing yoga pants.

2) It signals she's feeling sexual or is willing to get sexual. There are swimsuits more revealing than some lingerie, but the swimsuit signals she's going to hang out by the pool, on the beach, or sun herself. There are yoga pants more revealing than some lingerie, but again, yoga pants don't signal "Let's get sexual."

Most men prefer women to be entirely naked rather than in lingerie. But most men do prefer lingerie to regular clothing or pajamas that don't reveal much.

Some women find lingerie figure-flattering, accentuating certain parts of their body and hiding things about which they are unhappy or self-conscious. We get that. But women do tend to be far more critical of their own bodies than men, especially a man who is with them. But if it helps her feel more confident and helps her to be more enthusiastic, that's definitely a plus.

When a wife surprises her husband with wearing lingerie, especially if he normally has to persuade her to agree to sex, it can be a nice surprise to him.

I plan to write more about why men like certain things when it comes to women. I fully get it that some women, even some women who claim to be heterosexual, don't give a rat's behind about what men like. But there may be a few women who are curious, and I can be honest. Maybe you can put what I tell you to good use?

Also, as with anything else, especially anything sexual, "men like" is a generalization. There will ALWAYS be outliers or a minority of men who think/feel differently. In this case, that means a few men will find lingerie a turn off, or will prefer it to nudity.

She Has It and Flaunts It

How revealing is too revealing? And does it change as an adult gets older? PRIM AND PROPER IN OKLAHOMA wrote in to Dear Abby:

My mother-in-law, "Kay" -- who is in her 50s -- dresses like she's in her teens or 20s.

What does that mean, exactly? Well, read on.

Don't get me wrong, she looks great. She exercises several hours a day to keep in shape and follows a strict diet.

Kay wears spaghetti-strap shirts and short skirts in the summer, and bikinis to sunbathe. I understand that she wants to show off her body, but is there a way to direct her to more age-appropriate clothing?

So... bikinis, short skirts, and spaghetti-straps are okay for teens? But not for a woman in her 50s?

Dear Abby responded:

You are well-intentioned, but if you are wise, you will refrain from giving your mother-in-law any unasked-for fashion advice.

That's for sure. I'm not so sure about the well-intentioned bit, though. She could just be jealous. A lot of women can't stand it when another women draws attention while in their presence.

Anyone think the MIL would take the criticism well, and would change how she dresses as a result?

Any of you know anyone like either of these women... perhaps it is you?

Here's the argument I've heard from some of my fellow religious conservatives (Christian and otherwise). "None of that is appropriate at any age because it causes men to think of women as sex objects or have impure thoughts." I've also heard that some of that is fine for available women, but not for women who are making a commitment. Then there's the reverse - religions in which married women can wear blue jeans, but unmarried women (who are all supposedly virgins... which often means they only have sex with guys outside of the family religion/social circle) can't wear jeans, but instead wear really long skirts. And learn how to walk in short strides.

What say you? Back in my bachelor days I wouild insert some joke here about sending me a picture if you're not sure what is appropriate so that I could tell you one way or the other.

Wary of What She Wears

Dear Abby got a letter from a guy about how his steady dresses. TRYING TO LOOSEN UP IN NORTH CAROLINA wrote:

I have been involved with "Barbie" for about six months. She's everything I ever wanted in a mate. We have a similar sense of humor, and our goals and ambitions are almost identical. Our values match, too

Sounds great, although six months is not long enough to be sure about these things.

except for one: My sense of propriety seems to be a stumbling block.

Abby, Barbie wears sheer tops and no bra. She doesn't usually wear any undergarments, either, even when she's in a fairly short skirt.

Hey, I'm an admirer of the female form, but this would be way too much for me.

Barbie says I've got hang-ups, and I don't necessarily disagree. How can I deal with this?

There's a reason she’s dressing like that. Either she is trying to tempt you (unless, of course, you are already fornicating) or she is trying to get lustful attention from other guys. Either way, it is a bad sign. She could be insecure.

Dear Abby responded:

If she cares about you, she will compromise. That's how you "deal with it."

Actually, if she cares about being with him more than she wants to show herself off, she will compromise. Note that she attracted him while dressing like this. It wasn't enough of a problem for him to prevent him from asking her out on date after date.

I don't think people dating each other should "control" each other. He can stop going out with her, and can explain why. It is up to her if she wants to change or not.

Legally, I think women (and men, for that matter) should have significant freedom in how they dress in public. But just because a woman can dress a certain way doesn't mean she should. And while it is up to a man to discipline his thoughts, it is that much harder to do so when a woman's "goodies" are right there in our face.

Ladies, when you are dating, there's nothing wrong with wearing something that flatters your figure (I'm a sucker for tight jeans) – but that doesn't mean actually displaying your flesh so that everyone can see if the carpet matches the drapes (or if there are hardwood floors) or the coloring of your areola.

Later, being married with kids does make it harder to "dress sexy", but you shouldn't give it up entirely, either. Just don't mislead people into thinking you are advertising for a husband when you already have one.