What Is the Marriage Strike?

 
The Marriage Strike is refusing to legally marry (or, refusing to legally marry again), and usually it also involves refusing to socially marry. More and more men are refusing to marry. That is a fact.

Why join the marriage strike?

There are many reasons, not all of which need to apply to you:

• You don't want to marry.
  
• Marriage is a bad deal for most men.
• Marriage is a bad state contract.
• Marriage brings the government further into your life. 
• Most marriages fail.
  
• Current marriage culture is misandrist. 
• Most marriage counseling, therapy, and popular advice is misandrist or otherwise terrible.  
• Men are punished for being husbands.
  
• A lack of wife material women.
• A lack of accountability for wives.
• Marriage doesn't help you reach your goals.
• Marriage brings guaranteed limitations, obligations, and risks with no guaranteed benefits you can't get without marrying.
  
• You prefer to retain power over your life. 
• You prefer to live alone.
  
• You prefer to stay free.
• You can't be sure the woman you'd marry isn't being trafficked into marriage. 
• If you're a Bible-following Christian, you can't be sure you wouldn't be unequally yoked if you married.
  
• And many more!
  

Do Married Men Get It More and Better?

Marriage sellers will often say married people have more and better sex than unmarried people.

Unmarried men should not fall for this.

Stop reading now if you don't want the brutal truth.

Running Game - Do Not Care

Running game isn't just about saving money, time, and effort. It is also about reducing "emotional labor," as the younger generations like to say.

Recently, a young man went to the front door of the house where his ex-girlfriend was. He ended up literally breaking in, and was immediately and fatally shot by the father of his ex. This was recorded on video.

Why was he so determined to gain access?

I don't know any the history of that relationship, nor do I know what personality or mental disorders he might have had, or his history of violence.

What I do know is that some people who have otherwise had stellar behavior have lost control of themselves when it comes to relationships, especially when there are arguments, disagreements, or breakups.

Should You Have a Woman as a Friend?

Inspired by a comment, I want to explore the concept of you, a heterosexual man, having a female friend or multiple female friends.

I'm talking about actual friends, not mere acquaintances.

If you're married, shacking up, or in an exclusive relationship, and hopefully you're not - but if you are, you really "shouldn't" have female friends with whom your girlfriend/wife isn't friends, and certainly not ones your girlfriend/wife doesn't know about. 

"But Ken! I was friends with her before I started this relationship!" Yeah, well, this one of those countless reasons not to get into exclusive relationships in the first place. If your girlfriend/wife isn't friends with her, and you're not hiding her, she's almost certainly been the subject of arguments between you and "your" woman. Right? OK, for some of you unmarried guys, your girlfriend is waiting until you sign on the dotted line (which you shouldn't do!) before she starts trying to end your friendship.

But what about you free men? Is it OK, is it smart, to have female friends? And if you have such friends, should you become scarce around the holidays?

Dennis Prager: "You Owe Me" & Circular Reasoning

Dennis Prager has repeated many times on his radio show, Prager U videos, and elsewhere I'm sure, that his teachings on male sexual nature (the core of which includes that most men want to bang most women and if a husband stays faithful, it means he has worked at doing so) have prompted married couples to approach him, such as at his speaking events, and express that those teachings have helped their marriage.

Dennis Prager says he tells the husbands "You owe me."

Really?

What if that man married in the first place because of Dennis Prager's constant urging of men to do so?

If that is the case, it's like Dennis Prager encouraging a man to step in front of a moving bus, then telling someone on the bus to give the man an ibuprofen pill after the bus runs him over, then Dennis Prager tells the guy as he's being loaded into an ambulance, "You owe me."

Dennis is largely correct about male sexual nature, but his inevitable conclusion of selling marriage isn't the only option. To Dennis it is, because he has an obsession with urging men to sign that terrible state contract. He might say this is prompted by his faith in the Torah, specifically the early chapters of Genesis, yet other things he's said seem to imply or outright indicate one of the reasons he has faith in the Torah is that he says it promotes marrying and having children. It seems circular.

Recently he did an hour on his show saying people should "act religious" and "lead a religious life" even if they don't actually believe in the religion, because it means "living a good life." From what he's said other times, that "good life" likely is primarily, or significantly, about marrying and having children.

Regardless, who determines what a "good life" is?

To some people, a good life is earning more than enough to meet all of their needs as well as finance many of their desires, being able to move for promotions and new opportunities, driving stylish sports cars, eating at high end restaurants, taking expensive vacations any time of the year, going to concerts and theaters, having a clean and orderly home so they can have company over frequently and host parties and gatherings, being able to get a good night's sleep, having sex anytime and anywhere in their home, keeping a punctual and reliable schedule, and many, many other things that aren't possible or are far more difficult if they're raising children. What makes Dennis Prager's model of a good life (which he didn't explain thoroughly this time) the correct one?

My understanding of a good life is ultimately determined through my faith. If someone doesn't have that same faith, why would their definition of a good life necessarily match with mine? The churches I have attended have said they meet because of Jesus. If someone doesn't believe Jesus is an authority, why would they get up on a Sunday morning (or Saturday, for some), go sing and listen to a lecture, and fork over money? People can join far more convenient social clubs or charities.

It seems that sometimes Dennis Prager forgets that not everyone (or, not everyone who isn't a Leftist) wants the same things he does. I'm reminded of my open letter to Dennis Prager.

Some Free Women Say They Wanted a Family

Melanie Notkin, an apparently free woman, writes about free women who wanted to marry and have kids, and contrasting their situation with women who did marry.

“I was 22 when we met,” Lisa said of her future husband. “We broke up a few times, but I stuck with it. I gave him ultimatums!”

That's a train wreck.

It took the man, 13 years Lisa’s senior, six years to put a ring on it.

The fool.

“You can’t control who you fall in love with and who falls in love with you,” I added, in my defense.

Chemistry matters.

“Love shmove!” Lisa said with a look of disbelief in her eyes as if someone had pulled the wool over mine.

Lisa's poor husband.

Was it better to have never truly loved and gotten married than to have loved and lost it all?

Best to stay free.

What I’d said was true: I had been in love and had my heart broken. A few times. And as the years passed, each disappointment grew as my hope for children dwindled.

This wasn’t my plan. I was ready to get married at age 21, two years after my mother’s early death at age 52. I yearned to recreate her maternal love with my own children.

Yikes.

While I had grown up in a traditional Jewish home, after she died, I became more observant, believing on some level that religious young men were more likely ready to create a family that would gather around the warm glow of the Shabbat table on Friday nights. (Later, I’d learn at least my instincts were right.)

At age 24, I packed up my life in Montreal, Canada, and moved to New York City to find that great Jewish man, the future father of my children. It was surely the best possible plan. 

This month marks 30 years in Manhattan, still single and no chance of becoming a mother. As the old Jewish adage goes: We plan; God laughs.

Now why is that? Not enough Jewish men in the right age range? Did she not put herself in the right places? Did she not give off the right signals?

My second book, a memoir called Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness was published in 2014. Along with my own story, I share the experiences of Generation X and older millennial women who expected the love, marriage, and children our mothers had, along with greater access to higher education and the careers they didn’t have. It wasn’t that most of my generation chose the latter over the former. We simply expected that we would date and pay the rent simultaneously, just like the men we were dating did.

Maybe men and women are different?

I first chose a low-paying non-profit career with greater flexibility to take care of my future children. I invested time and money in online dating sites in my twenties, matchmaking services in my thirties, and singles events (or big ticket charity events where there would be plenty of singles), into my forties.

We don't know how she behaved during her activities, though.

Now, age 54, I am among the 25% percent of Americans who by age 40 have never married. And I have surpassed the 46.7% of never-married women ages 40-50 who are childless.

Keep up the good work, guys!

It’s not that we did not want to marry. We did.

Wanting to marry isn't the same thing as wanting to be a wife, though.

The breadth of women who did everything they were supposed to do to prepare themselves for the life they imagined now stretches to the younger cohort who land on the college campus of their choice only to have few men to choose from. Or, they’ve graduated and moved to the big city, only to find it just as hard to meet someone. Childless women in their twenties out-earn their male peers in 20 metropolitan areas. For these women, meeting a man who is also ready to meet their match is more challenging than ever.

Why does it matter if she earns more, hmm?

Nonetheless, this narrative assumes women don’t plan well, make poor choices, put our careers first, are too picky, or believe love is a fairytale. And for those of us who didn’t find love in time for the children we yearn(ed) for and who grieve our loss, it’s often assumed we were too naive to understand our fertility would end. We waited too long, they say. Left it too late, they admonish. As if we didn’t have painful monthly reminders. For most of us, it wasn’t our choice.

I can believe that there are women who did "everything" right and still never married even though they wanted to marry. Better they not have married than to have had a bad marriage, though.

While more young women today say they are remaining single and childless by choice, I have my doubts that it’s what most of them truly want.

Believe women.

Perhaps she would have been more likely to marry if family law and courts weren't so terrible? Something to think about. Because we can change laws and courts.

Does Marriage Require A Bride, A Groom, and Jesus?

In discussions about marriage, divorce, and how to keep marriages together, there will often be comments from people who insist that for a marriage to work, it has to have three people: a bride, a groom, and Jesus. Sometimes they will be less specific and say "God" instead of "Jesus" (orthodox Christianity teaches that Jesus is God, as is the Father and the Holy Spirit).

Now, I'm a Christian. I wish it was true that being Christian would make marriages successful. And yet the divorce rate, including in "Evangelical" churches, indicates that isn't the case.

A good reply to that is "Well, not everyone who attends church is truly a Christian, and if people consistently applied Christian principles in their marriage, their marriage would last."

I can grant that.

There's still a problem though.

Don't we all know people who have been married for decades, some until one or both die, who aren't Christian? Even some who haven't placed God at the center of the marriage; indeed, neither may have any faith in God? And yet they've lasted.

The only possible answer to that I can think of is that the person who makes the original assertion would say that the marriage isn't real or isn't successful, no matter who cute or adorable the couple seems to be, how they treat each other in front of others, and how the children they raised together have turned out.

Things like that immediately diminish the credibility of such believers in the understanding of certain unbelievers.

Today's legal and social marriage have very little resemblance to the marriages in the Bible. But let's say applying Christian principles to marriage is one way that will make a marriage successful. The problem with this is that the only perfect practitioner of Christian principles is Jesus. No matter how devout, there will be times one or both spouses will screw things up. Then all it takes is for one of them to go to a divorce lawyer during a time of temporarily screwing things up, and the ball gets rolling downhill.

Also, we don't truly know someone else's heart and future, even a woman we date for years.

Men can have Jesus at the center of their life without signing a terrible state contract. Men can have Jesus at the center of their life without ever having a wedding ceremony, or living with a woman, or raising children with a woman.

Guys, being a Christian, no matter how faithfully, will not guarantee you a successful marriage. Sometimes, the only way to win is to not play.

And for anyone who says Christians are called to sacrifice - Yes we are, but not foolish sacrifice. Men can apply one of the ultimate Christian principles and stay unmarried, like Jesus.

Grandpa Lived in a Different Era

I’m so tired of people asking why husbands and fathers today aren't like their grandfathers or great-grandfathers in terms of leading their homes, tempering their wife when she's way out of line, and keeping their kids in line, etc. The embellished memories of how those men of yore kept everything hunky dory without losing their cool can be entertaining and even amusing to hear once or twice, but the constant extolling of this imagined past familial utopia is irritating.

There are very important things that aren't included in this praise of these "real" men.

Those men could literally beat their wives and children, rape their wives, and kick any of them out of home without giving them a dime in walking money. If some punk was horning in on one of the girls in the family, the dad could run him off the property with a gun. And none of it was against the law or, even if it was technically against the law, nobody would arrest these men, let alone prosecute them or convict them. Now, not all men actually ran their homes like that, but the general cultural understanding that they could was enough to keep their families in line. Wives and children did run away, facing destitution in doing so, especially when relatives were unwilling to take them in. Many of their relatives would side with the husband/father. Yes, a woman might find that her own father would side with his son-in-law. Just about everyone else did, too... employers/customers, clergy and congregations, mental health providers, doctors, banks, newspaper editors... just about anyone. Wives were told to go back and obey and please their husbands, with maybe doing something on the sly behind his back (like squirreling away some savings if the husband would spend too much or wouldn't let his wife have enough money).

A married woman couldn’t get a credit card or engage in many other financial actions without her husband’s agreement. This is the real reason some women had secret stashes of cash the home. They couldn’t put it in a bank without their husband knowing.

Unlike now, a marriage license was an actual license to live together, have sex, and have children. There could be serious legal consequences if you did any of those things without a marriage license. That license gave a man access to his wife’s body, whether she felt like it at the moment or not. If she cheated on him, not only could be beat her, kick her out, and divorce her, but she could be criminally charged and she certainly wouldn’t get half of everything plus lifetime alimony.

Is that how things should be run? I'm not saying these were good things. But they "worked" in that they 1) kept children from being a disobedient presence in the family home, and 2) kept wives from emasculating their husbands or acting significantly in contradiction to what he wanted. If you can find an acceptable way to achieve those goals now, please share it with us. We’d love to know the secret. And sorry, telling men to “be like your grandfather” ain’t going to do it. You might as well tell someone to fly on a magic unicorn. Grandpa lived in a different era.

The men of today have different dynamics to deal with in the home. They also have different dynamics to deal with outside the home. Every workplace, every institution has been feminized, and mostly of them have been integrated with women. Most media and most businesses and other organizations seek to cater to feminine sensitivities and priorities when there is a conflict with masculine. Grampa didn’t have to compete with both other men and women in selling his labor. He didn’t have to worry that having a normal conversation with another guy at work could get him fired for “harassment” because someone overhead something they didn’t like.

Sorry, everything else has been changed. You can't expect men to behave as though nothing has changed.

Porn Panic From the Right

Dennis Prager talks about panics from the Left. Here an example of panic from the right, as expressed in two essays, which are very much like countless other essays and commentaries throughout the years.

"Susan" wrote on her blog at the URL https://thesparrowshome.com/pornography-is-destructive/ under the title "Hugh Hefner, Dennis Prager, and the Destructive Nature of Pornography" in October of 2017:

Hugh Hefner died last week. While I don’t revel in his death, the phrase ‘good riddance’ did cross my mind.  Hefner contributed heavily to bringing pornography to the mainstream, making it more easily accessible and normalized. Grieving his death never entered my mind.

If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone. Have you ever taken a real art history course? Or seen early movies, before the "code" days?

The State of This Blog

Being married and raising kids (and, of course, working full time) means I don't have a lot of free time. (Not because I'm having fun with my wife, but because when I'm not working I'm usually running errands or doing chores.)

I have so many draft posts I'd like to complete and post, including continuations of various series I have started.

I try to get at least a couple of new posts up here each week, and I rotate still-relevant past posts up on other days, so that six days per week someone coming here might see something they haven't before.

I'm active daily on Twitter, or X, or whatever it's being called today.

Send me a DM on Twitter if you want to reach me privately. You can also comment on any post here and ask me NOT to post the comment. That's another way to send me a message privately.

Of course you can also comment on posts if you DO want your comment to be posted.

Also, I always like to hear from you as to why you read this blog, or how you found it. Or, just tell me how your life is going or anything else you want to say.

I plan to keep updating here and keep analyzing the things I see, hear, and read, and keep encouraging men to thrive as Free Men, other men to make the best of their situations, and giving women insight into how men really think.

Was It Really Wasted Time?

There are women who look back on a marriage or relationship that ended and they say something like "All those years, wasted!"

Especially if she was happy, enjoying herself, or feeling that her needs were met for most of that relationship, what does she mean that those were "wasted" years?

If her only goal was to have the man be with her into old age and then for him to die on her or outlive her, sure, it was wasted, if you dismiss that being with him helped her prepare to be with someone else - someone she wouldn't meet or wouldn't have dated before.

Or, if her only goal was to have children and she didn't because he couldn't, wouldn't, or she didn't think he'd make a good father, and now she's too old, sure, it was wasted, if you think she definitely would have had children with another guy, which we can't know with certainty.

But what about the companionship? The attention he gave her? All of the good times they had together? Things he did for her? For that all to be a waste, it means she didn't and doesn't value those things. Men, stop spending time, energy, and money on a woman who doesn't appreciate it!

The "wasted years" comment, upon careful consideration, sounds like ingratitude in most cases. An exception would be if we know for certain (and how can we) that she would have had a better time with someone else. It makes sense if she's saying "Bob, who I'm with now, wanted to date me, but I was busy with that jerk Joe!" Understand though, that her statement that she "wasted" those years is about her, not Joe. It was her choice.

Guys, if you're looking for an ongoing relationship, be very careful about a woman who says a past relationship was "wasted" time, unless she can explain how without sounding like she doesn't value affection, experiences together, gifts, etc. If you're just looking for dates and not a relationship, then be one of those guys she will say she wasted time with... just don't waste too much of her time. Keep the dates are short as you can!

Women, are you wasting your time? Does the journey matter, or only the destination?

Don't Watch Adult Media, Run Game Instead

If we take the claims of professional antiporn crusaders seriously, it is far better to have casual sex, especially if tested for STDs and using contraception, than it is to watch porn.

According to the professional antiporn crusaders, nobody should watch porn because among many other evils, porn:

• Is addictive
• Causes depression
  
• Conditions viewers to prefer images to sex
• Causes misleading expectations about sex
• Causes men to assault partners by beating and choking them
  
• Is often "revenge porn"
  
• Causes ED
  
• Inherently causes trafficking
• Causes child abuse
• Is violence
• Causes rape
  
• Is rape
• Encourages/causes pedophilia/child rape
• Causes brain damage
  

So clearly, the answer is to get tested, get a vasectomy, and have sex instead of watching porn. The best way to get a lot of sex when you want it is to run game.

Of course, many of the antiporn crusaders will tell you they're against premarital sex. I am, too, because if it is premarital, by definition it means they get married, and most men shouldn't marry.

[If you're reading this soon after it was first published, I hope you're having a great holiday weekend - it's a holiday weekend in the USA anyway - and I will probably update the blog again on Tuesday 1/17.]

Share This Blog

I hope you notice and appreciate that this blog doesn't have ads, nor do I ask for or accept money.

This blog exists for me to think things through, vent, and hopefully help others.

If you have found anything here helpful, insightful, informative, or entertaining, please let others know this blog is here.

Copy and paste from this blog as much as you want, as long as you don't distort or misrepresent what I write here. It's great if you link back to the blog post when you do that, but in situations in which it is best for you not to, like when you're breaking up with someone, I understand if you don't.

I'd appreciate it if you would spread to word or continue to spread the word by linking to this blog in emails, social media, forums, wherever.

I can help more people that way.

So please, share this link: https://tunasafedolphin.blogspot.com

What a Woman Can Do With Your DNA

There are some simple facts of biology. Men usually produce millions of viable sperm cells on an ongoing basis. A man is able to do so starting in puberty and lasting most of the rest of his life. Sperm cells can leave his body while he's asleep. He doesn't have to have an orgasm to expel sperm cells.  New human life takes place inside women. Women get pregnant, men do not.

There are some basic realities of current law. Once a woman has possession of a man's sperm cells, he has lost any control, legally, he has over them.

When a sperm cell leaves a man's body, he loses all control of his own DNA.

Here are the things a woman can do with YOUR sperm cells, men:

Vows Vary

Dr. Laura read a letter at the end of the Wednesday, May 13, 2020 show from the wife of a caller. The wife explained that her husband had called claiming that there were sexual problems in the relationship. The letter writer explained, because he never said so during the call, that her husband had been trying to get her to have sex with other men. (There is a whole fetish or two about that.) [This entry has been bumped up.]

Dr. Laura again talked about "breaking vows".

Staying a Free Man as a Churchgoer

Some of you attend a church or an equivalent. If you don’t, or you don’t care about staying a Free Man, skip over this entry.

Some of this might be adaptable to you if you attend a synagogue, temple, mosque, stake, Kingdom Hall, or some other congregation, but I’m most familiar with Protestant churches, especially of the “evangelical” variety.

Running Game - Get Them Competing

Most women want men other women want.

Any man who pays attention has noticed how more women will flirt with him if they see him with a woman, or know that he has a girlfriend, or see him wearing a wedding ring.

Most women ultimately want the same ten percent of men, but most have to "settle." You want her to think either you're in or heading to that top ten percent, or that you're her stepping stone to reach those men, or a good consolation prize. You do that by letting her know she has competition, even if she doesn't yet.

Marriage Sellers Should Start a Fund

There are many reasons people are on a marriage strike, whether they call it that or not.

One big reason is the enormous financial costs, limitations, and risks.

Marriage sellers, like Dennis Prager and so many others, are extremely concerned about plummeting marriage rates. That means they should be motivated to actually do something other than lamenting reality.

Here’s one thing they can do.

They can reduce the financial negatives.

Create a fund. Pledge to cover at least the following:

• The difference between the income the lower earning spouse brings to the marriage and the costs they bring to it
• Marital counseling/therapy
• Family law/divorce attorneys, from prenups to separation agreements and divorces
• The lost income when a someone can’t take a promotion/job because their spouse discourages it
• Any lost income as a result of the spouse wanting/causing someone to miss work
• Replacement costs of assets lost in a divorce and reimbursement for relocation 
• Any alimony/support
• Reimbursement for paternity fraud costs 

This is just dealing with certain financial concerns. It doesn’t address loss of freedom, loss of sex when someone is expected not to have sex with others but is rejected by their spouse, and countless other reasons people are refusing to sign that terrible state contract.

Come on, marriage advocates! Put your money where your mouth is.

Offer this fund to someone reluctant to marry.

What If Being Free Was Just as Visible as Marriage?

A smaller percentage of Americans are married now than any time in American history.

Marriage, however, is constantly visible and it is sold with gusto, more than anything through focusing on weddings. What if being free was just as visible as marriage?

• What if it was common to have jewelry, photography, gifts, announcements, a series of parties, meals, ceremonies, special attire, receptions, cards, and anniversary celebrations related to divorce?
• What if we celebrated the free status of never-married person every year they were free?
• What if it was common to change your name or title based on your status of having chosen not to marry?
  

Seriously. What if, every year a man (or a woman) has made it through life avoiding marriage, there was a celebration of it? What if, when a man (or a woman) decided they wanted to stay free, there was a series of parties and a ceremony and reception for it? What if we had "independence counselors" like we have marriage counselors? (There's probably far less money in that, because free people don't have to argue with someone who shares their residence and bank account!)

What if more media depicted freedom as something to which to aspire? What if we encouraged kids to dream about growing up to be free?

What if more people posted on social media things like, "I came home to peace and quiet, with everything they way I want it. So glad to be free!"?

Men, especially, need to let younger men and boys see that being free can be a great life, and there's no shame in it at all.

Daycare is Almost Always Voluntary and is Generally a Bad Choice

One of the most repeated sentiments in parenting conversations these days is parents claiming that they "had no choice" but to put their kid(s) into daycare or that it is a GOOD thing for the kids.

In almost every case, this is a big, stinking pile of dung.


Putting a child in daycare comes at the end of a series of CHOICES that the parent(s) made. By the way, day care is anything before the kid is 5, whatever it is called... nursery school, pre-K, transitional K, pre-school... it's all daycare.

If you aren't "able" to raise your own child, don't have one!

Dennis Daily: Boo Hoo, Marriage Rates Are Down

 

 

The "Male-Female Hour" (Hour 2) of the Dennis Prager Show on Wednesday, August 2, 2023 was dedicated to trying to fool people into marrying.

Unless he's off traveling or for a religious holiday, Dennis Prager is on the air each weekday lamenting that fewer people are marrying. Sure, there's also political talk, current events, and more on the show, but it seems like every day Dennis must lament that the marriage strike is growing.

So, this dedicated hour he attempted to make the case for marrying. He still hasn't had an articulate marriage striker on his show to counter our points.

Here's my report from that hour.

He kicks it off by saying marriage makes the best men and the best men get married. What this means is that married men are more likely to behave in ways Dennis likes, and women are more likely to prefer men who are better off to be their walking wallets.

He says most people aren't going to have the best careers. Right, Dennis, and one reason people don't is that they married and marriage is a dream killer.

He asserted that the worst argument against marriage is that so many people divorce, and he again said that's like refusing to drive because people get into accidents. He didn't address any other arguments against marriage the whole hour.

Dennis tried to say marriage has benefits for men, citing the usual stuff, and he said the benefits are just as profound for women, that women need men, and that single women are the least happy group in America and that they do a lot of damage. Even if true, isn't it likely that they are unmarried because they are sad and problematic people?

Then he says yes, it might go wrong. You might get divorced. So what? Again, I'm glad Dennis' divorces apparently weren't so bad or that his masochism was fed by them. Good for him.

My guess is that calls opposed to marriage or warning people about the facts weren't allowed through.

First call was a married guy. He said people say marriage is hard, but when there's illness and loss of a loved one it is helpful to have a spouse. Uhm, people can have companionship without a terrible state contract or a ridiculous pledge. The caller hasn't even been married ten years. I sure hope he isn't about to find out.

Second caller was a woman who has a daughter she says is having trouble finding someone. The daughter doesn't want someone who took the C v-cines. Yeah. She mentioned dating apps and how her daughter must be getting overlooked.

Dennis says there is always a better one [better potential date]. EXACTLY! There's always a better person to be with, so why marry???

Dennis says people need to speak well of marriage, even if divorced. Why? He hasn't explained well why. That he grew up in a congregation in which married men got to wear a shawl isn't a compelling reason.

Third caller was a guy, said he asks younger people if they're married or dating, tells them to marry as soon as they can, they will mature faster and will experience happiness on a deeper level. That's horrible advice. They are more likely to divorce. He claimed people who get married in their 30s are so set in their ways that it creates chaos. He claims you experience life's joys together and asks why would you want to travel or build a house alone? Uh, because you don't have someone stifling you and wanting things their way??? You can experience life's joys with someone without marrying. You can travel a lot more if you're not having to pay some woman's way.

Dennis claims people don't want to be mature. But his definition of mature is likely "married" and thus circular.

He goes on to say many people who aren't married say they're not lonely. "I would ask them the same question later in life. Marriage is an investment for later in life." So again, we have the argument that you should give up decades of freedom on the chance someone will be your nurse. Dennis went on to say he's always thought about that. He never doubted, even in high school, that he'd marry. Demanding people marry is a healthy thing. "The number of unhappy women should make the case. The number of men sitting and home playing video games should, too." See, to Dennis, standing around smoking a cigar is great, playing games is somehow magically bad. He wants men to stop doing what they want to do and try to make miserable woman happy, so they can both be miserable.

"I'm stunned when these women are working on career. You should work on getting married, then work on career," So he wants women to marry, pop out kids, then dump them in daycare and work in a career? And what happens when her path to career advancement is in a different city from her husband's?

Fourth caller was a guy who agreed it's an investment in the future. He has guilt and regret because he gave up on a marriage 40 years ago. "I could have made a difference. I didn't stay. I was single for eight years, and then I remarried. I've been married over 30 years. I do love my current wife but every day I think about the prior marriage." Geez, imagine being his current wife.

Dennis said "Life is not a dress rehearsal." OK, well, that's all the more reason to NOT marry.

Fifth caller was a man in the Bronx who said "I haven't married because I asked her if she would immediately file for divorce if I had a one night stand. A one night stand doesn't constitute a betrayal of the entire marriage."

Dennis responded by restating something he's said multiple times before, that adultery shouldn't automatically end the marriage. He says it's not autobiographical as he's been faithful. He points out that some marriages that survive adultery are stronger. "Good people commit adultery. Not everyone who commits adultery is a bad person."

He lauded the hypothetical person who wouldn't automatically divorce over a one night stand.

Sixth caller was a woman. "I encouraged my kids to marry because life is like a tango, it takes two to tango.There is nothing better in life than to be married." I can just as easily assert that life is like a solo dance recital.

Dennis capped off the hour by saying to women they should find a good man, the sooner the better, and men become men when they marry.

And there you have it. Did that hour convince one person with a functioning brain?

 

I'll just stick to addressing men. Everythingy most men want out of life they can have without ever marrying.

With hours like this one, we can expect the marriage rates will continue to decline. Women don't need marriage anymore to fully participate in society and life or just to survive, and men aren't being given compelling reasons to marry but have many significant reasons to stay free. That Dennis is fixated on wanting everyone to marry isn't a compelling reason for anyone else to marry.

Married Men Are Taller

 

 

 

The quickest and most simple way I know of to counter marriage sellers who say married men are happier, healthier, wealthier, live longer, or have more sex is to point out that married men are taller.

Did marriage make the men taller, or is it more likely that taller men are more likely to attract a wife?

Remember, divorced men are counted as unmarried.

Also, intentionally unmarried men are never separated out in the data. Men who are desperate to marry (some of whom have been religiously indoctrinated from the earliest ages that they must marry), including those who are poor, sickly, unhappy, etc., and divorced men, are lumped together with men who have intentionally avoided marriage and are doing well, happy with life.

Don’t fall for the trap. Stay free!