Dr. Laura Gets a Lot of Calls From Shackups

Shacking up is so common and accepted these days that people who don't listen much to Dr. Laura might be surprised that she's against it, and how strongly she condemns it (as do I). She will even hang up on some male callers who are shacking up without bothering to let them ask their question. For other callers, she will usually make an example of them.

During the first hour of the Wednesday, February 27, 2019 show, she took a call from "Michelle" who said she has a boyfriend of a few years and she's moved in with him to what had been his former marital home. She had also been previously married. They both have grown children.

But before Michelle could really get that out, Dr. Laura started in.

So She Has Moved On - Now What?

Guys, has she just dumped you, officially or not?

This is the time of year when a lot of men find themselves dumped, left, served with divorce papers, or that "the woman in their life" has checked out from the relationship or is with other men (online or in the flesh). You were with her for Thanksgiving, maybe with her at your family's place or you being her guy-to-show-off at her family or friend's place. You got her Christmas presents. You were there for her on New Year's Eve, maybe even spending a lot of money. And you made a big deal about Valentine's Day.

But she was planning to leave after she got what she wanted. Or you didn't jump through the hoops right (in many cases, nobody can).

And now you're finding out why I told you to become scarce in November, and you should have listened to me.

So now what?

We're Almost to February 14

Men, if you're not already married, don't let the marketing get to you. Don't let any peer pressure get to you. Don't let any "hints" from women get to you. Unlike most married men, you can survive February 14 without jumping through hoops and spending a lot of money.

If you have a fiancée or girlfriend, you need to think very soberly about what you're facing by allowing that relationship to continue. You CAN back out. Most likely, you should.

You should at least get scarce between now and February 15.

From just before Thanksgiving until February 15, you should not be seeing any woman who is expecting you to marry her, propose to her, impregnate her, move in together, or make a big deal about February 14. And if you're seeing someone whose birthday is in late February or who counts a day in late February as an anniversary with you, avoid her until after that day.

If you were with her through the holidays, that makes it all the more important you get very scarce until at least February 15, if not outright ghosting her permanently.

What's the risk, really? That she'll get with some other guy? Or move on? So what?!?

Let some guy who doesn't value his earnings or is desperate pay for what she wants. You don't want to get suckered into spending a lot of time, money, and effort to get something you can get without doing so. There are attractive, available women who will gladly take the open spot in your rotation if you play your cards right. Whether you want to keep getting with women or not, you probably shouldn't get into a situation in which you're heading for marriage.

Most men shouldn't marry. Most marriages are not both lasting and happy. Having a woman live with you is asking for trouble. You don't need a wife.

Do things right, and you can have a full social and personal life year-round without going to ridiculous lengths to make Valentine's Day, some woman's birthday, anniversaries, and winter holidays (like Christmas and New Year's Eve) some sort of worshipping of a woman.