Wednesday, March 09, 2022

A Lack of Marriageable Women

Male Female Clip Art
Dr. Laura says everyone wants to be married, or at least be with someone, and in her world, that's the same thing. Something is wrong with people who don't. But she also has said the qualities a woman must have to be marriageable and has chastised men for marrying women who don't have these qualities.

This will especially help you if you call her up and she wants to know why you're not married, or not marrying the latest woman in your life.

These things disqualify a woman from being wife material according to Dr. Laura.

Out of the Age Range - If she is 27 or under, she's automatically not wife material yet. If she's more than ten years or more younger (or older... probably fewer years older) than you, she's out of the age range. A woman who is over 40 should not be having children.This will eliminate literally most women.

Has Minor Children - Single mothers, divorced mothers, and almost as much when it comes to widowed mothers, are to raise their children, who've already suffered a loss or a broken home. They shouldn't bring their new lovers around their children, and that precludes marriage until the children are grown. Many women 28 or older have children (though fewer than in the past). This will eliminate another significant percentage of women from consideration.

Was Previously Married - Dr. Laura can be dismissive of second marriages (never mind she never mentions her first marriage, only her second), and even more so of third marriages. But there's a little wiggle room in her thinking with this. If the woman is widowed or realizes why she married too young or the wrong person and has addressed those problems, and is childless, then this is not necessarily automatically disqualifying.

Has Shacked Up - Dr. Laura has often said a nice guy won't want a woman who has shacked up. As with a previous marriage, there is some wiggle room, mainly if she can eloquently articulate why nobody should shack up and why it was wrong for her to do so.

Won't Be a Stay At Home Mother - In Dr. Laura parlance, this would be a "full time mother." If a woman is unwilling or unprepared to be a full-time mother, she's out. This is especially critical for the first three years of a child's life, but ideally until they are at least five or six. Even after that, has to truly be OK with the husband being a stay at home father, or only work when the kids are in school and if it won't interfere with being a good mother and wife. If she's still getting her education or training (like she wants to be an M.D.), it's a no. How many women who want to be SAHMs DON'T have children or a failed marriage, or shack up experience by 28?

Substance Abuser - Dr. Laura says you can't have an actual relationship with a substance abuser, drunk, alcoholic, or addict. They can be considered if they've clean and sober for years.

Not a Citizen or Permanent Legal Resident - Dr. Laura is heavily against marrying someone who wasn't already a citizen or permanent legal resident. So all of you guys who are thinking, "I'll find a foreign woman who hasn't been ruined by American/Canadian feminism: Nope.

Family Enmeshment - If she has been living with her parent(s) or plans to ever have a parent move in, that's an automatic no. Living in the same town as a parent is OK, but they shouldn't be neighbors. She need to have been living on her own (or with a female, platonic roommate) for years, without dependency on or by a parent, or a parent interfering in her life too much. This is regardless of ethnicity. Also, if she still allows abusive family members in her life, that is a definite no.

Rejects Therapy - If she won't agree to six-to-nine months of premarital therapy/counseling with a LMFT or similarly credentialed professional, it's a no.

Serious Mental Illness or Mental/Personality Disorder - How many women around here DON'T have one?

Abused - If she was abused, especially sexually, or thinks of herself as having been abused (especially if she claims she has PTSD) and that still prevents her from living a healthy life, that's a no.

Abusive - She rages, screams, hits, kicks, scratches, pushes, or breaks things: Nope. She thinks it is OK to use a belt/strap or any object other than an open hand on the butt to "discipline" a child. NOPE.

Sexually Immoral or Disordered or a Closet Case (All According to Dr. Laura) - If the woman says she's bisexual or bicurious (or anything other than strictly heterosexual), then according the Dr. Laura she's a lesbian and shouldn't marry a man. If she's into BDSM or anything along those lines, Dr. Laura considers that a problem. If she is involved with, or wants to be involved with, open relationships/marriage, polyamory, swinging, spouse swapping, threesomes, or having other people watch - anything that isn't strictly monogamous and completely private between you two, it's a no. Unwilling to very reluctant to have sex - NO.

Public School - Refuses to have the children either homeschooled or in a private school that educates and instills traditional values rather than engages in social engineering.

Long Distance - If you two aren't seeing each other every week or multiple times per week in-person, for two years straight, then it's a no.

Separate Accounts - She doesn't want the money shared, but instead wants separate accounts (first marriage). Other than inheritance, she must want to share accounts or it isn't a real marriage, according to Dr. Laura.

Weight/Eating Disorders - While I can't recall hearing Dr. Laura tell a man not to marry a woman because of her weight or eating disorders, she does tell a man that he can't expect her to change for the better after marrying. Dr. Laura is also very critical of being overweight (and underweight, for that matter).

Neither of You Have Good, Living Family Nearby - If you're going to raise kids, at least one of you should have parents and/or siblings nearby (but again, not as neighbors) who can help out and socialize. If both of you had terrible families or everyone's dead, that's going to make things difficult. 

Incompatible Religions - It doesn't matter if neither of you take your religions seriously. If your religions are incompatible (for example, Protestant and non-Messianic Jew, or Mormon and Jehovah's Witness) then it is a no, if you plan to raise children or can possibly get pregnant.

Incompatible Goals or Lifestyles - You want to live in the city, she wants to live on a farm. You want one kid, she wants more. There are many ways two people can be great and get along, but not be a marital match.

No Spark - If you don't have chemistry and mutual attraction, it is a NO.

Now, taking all of the above into account, do any women qualify as wife material? Of course, you probably aren't husband material and a woman shouldn't marry you!

I don't think I've heard Dr. Laura tell a man concerned about his girlfriend or fiancee's debt not to marry her. She generally considers it the role of men to pay for women. I, however, would say a woman with significant debts would be automatically disqualified as wife material.

Embrace life as a Free Man.
 

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