When Someone Regrets Being a Parent

Duncan Jones recently issued a couple of controversial tweets: [This entry is bumped up from January 2019.]

I have 2 kids. 2 1/2 years and 9 months old respectively. I’ll tell you something I never see anyone admit... they are exhausting, frustrating and life-destabilizing. They are rarely fun. Sure, smiles are great, hugs are lovely, but it’s HARD and not obviously a good choice in life.

This is where people feel compelled to say “i wouldn’t change it for the world!” But you know... Of course I’d reconsider! It’s exhausting! Its banal! It’s like looking after a dog you can’t housetrain. What it is, is that it is. and they are mine. Hopefully they turn out ok.

Columnist Matt Walsh, conservative Catholic hubby and dad that he is, lit into Jones and those who responded in solidarity.

What's most concerning is the reaction these tweets provoked. In the 24 hours or so immediately after they were published, a sizable portion of the responses were entirely supportive and sympathetic. A bunch of parents decided to join the fray and register public complaints about their own children. Until saner voices joined the discussion, the thread was a long litany of unseemly parental bellyaching. And not just vague "parenting can be tough" type complaints, but much more specific and personal "my life is miserable and my kids are awful" type complaints.

Those are their experiences. Yes, they shouldn't say these things if they are using their true identity and thus their kids can find out about it. In some cases, it won't matter because the kids are already too far gone, but in most cases, sure. But let's be honest. Walsh isn't just upset that their kids might see this. People like Walsh don't want people speaking the truth about parenthood: that for some people, it brings misery. Some people aren't suited to it.

Let's not deflect from the fact that many people regret having children. Many of them aren't being great parents as a result. Let's encourage people to think very carefully about becoming parents, instead  of saying "Oh, it will all work out! You'll love it! Don't worry, just do it!"

Women who do this are told they're ignoring their motherly instincts. Men are told they're just immature.

Proof of Evil

 

Be warned: This contains reports indicating extreme and murderous child abuse.

Disclaimer: I’m dealing with a news report. I am not responsible for errors and omissions in that news report. I don’t claim any direct knowledge of the people or events described below. The mother’s last name is spelled two ways in the article.

I frequently post on X (Twitter) links to stories of terrible things happening to parents because they’re parents, and terrible things happening to children, often at the hands of their parents. This story warrants an entire blog post.

This article is from Will Conybeare at KTLA, and given how things have been going there, he might have been let go since he wrote it.

The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services is being sued over the death of a 14-month-old who attorneys say was subjected to prolonged abuse at the hands of two Long Beach residents with past criminal convictions who had the infant placed in their care.

The taxpayers of LA county will be paying any judgement or settlement, along with attorneys fees.

An investigation into the case of the child, identified initially at Tilly S., began on Nov. 7, 2025, when officers with the Long Beach Police Department were dispatched to Miller Children’s Hospital after the toddler was found unresponsive and with signs of trauma. The girl, just over the age of one, was placed on life support but died from her injuries three days later.

On Nov. 25, 2025, two people — Alfredo Muñoz Jr. and Kelly Anelalani Muñoz — were arrested in connection with the infant’s death after detectives found she had suffered extensive ongoing abuse from them, and that her death was the result of that abuse. The couple was charged on Dec. 2 with one count each of murder, torture and assault on a child causing death.

At least there is a criminal case against the alleged abusers. No lawsuit against them? Well, their pockets probably aren’t that deep, unlike Joe Taxpayer.

Alfredo Muñoz Jr. is Tilly’s biological father, and Kelly Muñoz her stepmother; Tilly’s biological mother, Alexis Servin, the plaintiff in the lawsuit, relinquished custody for personal reasons, her attorney Brian Claypool said.

So Tilly’s mother had “personal reasons” to give up custody. Gee, what do you think those could be? What are the odds she wouldn’t be available because she was going to be working in the International Space Station? In my opinion, if I had to guess, the guess would be she was either too messed up to care for a child or she didn’t want to bother.

However, Alexis’ parents — Tilly’s grandparents — were “ready and willing” to care for the infant.

The people who raised Alexis?

Here come the blood boiling details.

Lawyers say that an autopsy of Tilly, who was “under the care, custody and control of the L.A. Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) at all relevant times,” revealed she endured prolonged abuse that led to injuries including acute blunt head trauma with skull fractures, multiple hemorrhages, a severe spinal cord injury and multiple skeletal fractures. Skeletal findings included healing fractures of multiple ribs, the femur and the tibia that were sustained weeks prior to Tilly’s death.

“The autopsy report confirms Tilly’s death was the result of the combination, severity, distribution, and differing ages of these injuries indicate repetitive inflicted trauma,” the complaint states, adding that Tilly’s official cause of death was found to be a catastrophic brain injury, cerebral edema, brainstem compression, and hypoxic-ischemic injury.

Is there any sane person who’d say it would be unjust to have a public lynching of the murderers?

Legal representatives for Alexis Severin, in the wake of the 14-month-old’s death — one that was described as “tragic” by L.A. County District Attorney Nathan Hochman — are now pointing the blame at DCFS, alleging the department should have known that Alfredo Muñoz Jr. and Kelly Muñoz posed “an extreme and foreseeable danger to any child placed in their care.”

That’s a fair accusation, as we’ll see. But unless Alexis is alleging Alfredo forced Tilly’s conception on her, keep in mind that Alexis was in position to know Alfredo wasn’t a good man, yet allowed him to knock her up. And again, why couldn’t she have/keep custody? Doesn’t Alexis have any blame in this?

Both Alfredo Jr., 41, and Kelly, 34, had prior felony convictions for willful cruelty to a child from a 2021 case. The former was described in the complaint as having an “extensive” criminal history dating back decades:

Alexis didn’t know any of that? Really? And it sounds like Alfredo and Kelly were together for years. How did Alexis get into the mix? Did she choose to let an evil, married man stick it in her and knock her up? He was a father already, and according to a letter the article quotes, considered unable to care for the children he already had. What a turn on! What woman can resist that???

• 1999: Muñoz was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon, a felony, and sentenced in 2000 to five years in the California Youth Authority 
• 2006: Muñoz was convicted of possessing a switchblade knife, a misdemeanor, and sentenced to 30 days in a county jail
• 2009: Muñoz was charged with three misdemeanors (use/being under the influence of a controlled substance, resisting arrest and providing false information to an officer) and two infractions (operating a bicycle in the dark on a highway and not having reflectors on the bicycle pedals) — all were dropped except the resisting arrest charge, for which he was sentenced to a year of summary probation
• 2010: Muñoz was convicted of felony possession of a controlled substance and sentenced to three years of formal probation; he violated his parole in 2012 and was sent to a county jail for 16 months
• 2012: Muñoz was convicted in federal court of being a felon in possession of a firearm and sentenced to 41 months in federal prison followed by three years of supervised release. He was also required to go to outpatient substance abuse treatment
• April 2016: Muñoz was convicted of carrying a dirk or dagger, a felony, and sentenced to three years of probation. He violated the terms of his probation in 2017, for which he spent two years in state prison
• July 2016: Muñoz had a misdemeanor petty theft dismissed in furtherance of justice
• 2021: Muñoz was charged with two felony counts of willful cruelty to a child resulting in possible injury or death and felony possession of a firearm by a narcotic addict. He was only convicted of one count of willful cruelty to a child resulting in possible injury or death and sentenced to four years in state prison

Was Alfredo let out early? Or did “time served” get him out in time to knock up Alexis? Or was he allowed conjugal visits? Anything’s possible in California. Notice his light sentence for a serious crime after being a repeat criminal.

Kelly Muñoz has three prior convictions, the complaint states:

• 2012: Muñoz was convicted of possessing drug paraphernalia and sentenced to 44 days in jail
• 2013: Muñoz was convicted of methamphetamine possession and sentenced to three years of summary probation, five days of community service and a $150 fine
• 2021: Muñoz was charged on the same day as Alfredo Muñoz Jr. with two counts of willful cruelty to a child resulting in possible injury or death; she was convicted on one count and the other count was dismissed. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail and five years of formal probation

Delightful people.

The complaint states that Tilly was placed with the Muñozes not long after Alfredo Jr. had been released from his four-year sentence for willful cruelty to a child.

Again, if that’s true, when and how did he knock up Alexis? Or did he knock her up the moment he got out and nine months later, “not long,” a newborn was given up by her mother? 

“Tilly Servin’s death was caused by the failures of DCFS and the County of Los Angeles,” the complaint adds.

The “dad” and his wife had something to do with it. But again, they don’t have deep pockets.

Were the grandparents seriously shady, or did DCFS simply have such a preference for biological parent bonds that they preferred giving the girl to a convicted child abuser?

Well, there you have it. Hopefully other inmates will do their thing and carry out prison justice.

Maybe someone from DCFS will be fired. They’re probably severely overworked and constrained. But it sure looks like taxpayers are going to be, once again, soaked. I know there are millions of people in that county, but it seems like there’s always a kid being tortured to death and authorities knew about it before they are murdered.

And to bring this back to what I blog about most: How many women have allowed that guy to knock them up? How many women have polished his knob? He’s apparently what turns some women on.

Ponder that.

When To Involve Cops With Family

Your family member might be, or is, breaking the law, or is out of control with a mental breakdown or rage.

Do you call the the police?

That depends.

Some things to keep in mind:

• Your call will be recorded. Your location, name, voice, and what you say will be in the possession of a government agency and might be subject to release to the public.
• If police respond, they will be armed.
• If police respond, they might search you, your vehicle, your residence, etc.
• They might arrest someone, including you.
• They might end up using force, including deadly force.
• Assume everything will be audio and video recorded, but you won’t have access to the recordings, or they might be made public. 
• If the person cited or arrested is your spouse or dependent, that is going to have negative consequences and repercussions for you, including financial. 

Involving law enforcement should be a last resort, if any resort at all.

I thought about this when Dr. Laura told a caller to call the police on her husband, to get him stopped for potentially driving under the influence.

Nobody should drive impaired. The caller didn’t know for sure her husband was impaired. Dr. Laura certainly didn’t know. And it’s no skin off her nose if some caller ends up in a terrible situation. Her net worth is in the millions. She has no dependents. She can afford legal fees, fines, etc. Many of her callers can’t.

If someone is a danger to you, your children, or other dependents, it’s best to be financially and legally separated from them as well as physically. Involving the police when you’re still going to be legally connected is usually a very bad idea.

Of course, if you or someone else is facing imminent, serious harm or deadly violence, and you can’t get away or get the others away and can’t neutralize the aggressors yourself, an emergency call might be in order. But it has to be very serious.

I grew up with a respect for police and an optimistic view of police. But let’s think logically here. It’s a job. For any job, you’re beholden to your boss more than anyone else. You may think police work for you, but their boss is their chain of command. Law enforcement personnel are primarily there for the bidding of government; to enforce laws, not to be of service to you. It’s great if police have provided a service to you, but that’s not their primary goal.

People are flawed. Some are corrupt. Most people are looking out for their own interests. This includes cops.

Bullies, power trippers, sadists, sociopaths, and psychopaths exist. Nothing stops them from becoming cops.

You don’t know all laws. You can easily be breaking a law without even knowing it. Even if you aren’t, a cop has the ability to arrest you if they can fill out the paperwork. 

In general, cops, like any other job, are there for themselves, maybe for their family, too. For most jobs, someone being there for themselves isn’t a problem. But cops are armed, can take you to jail, and can initiate actions leading to your criminal prosecution, which can result in fines and prison sentences. They’re backed by unions, laws, policies, and courts. Some became cops because of family tradition. Some just needed a job. Some want power over others.

I imagine some originally got into law enforcement to help people. And sometimes cops perform heroic deeds. That doesn’t mean you should be quick to involve cops in a family matter.

You shouldn’t participate in crime nor enable it (assuming we’re not talking about unjust laws). You shouldn’t allow anyone to steal from you, threaten you, or assault you or innocent people, especially those for whom you have responsibility. Proactive protection and reactive defense are important. There are things you can do, such as getting away from the aggressor, or taking someone in for a psych hold, without being quick to involve cops.

Once cops are involved, there can be serious consequences, including for you. Involving cops should be the last resort.

Like so many other things, this is less of a problem for free men; men who live alone and aren’t responsible for others. 

Comment Here on Dating (or not) Women With Minor Children

There are so many comments that have been left on my blog's most popular entry that I'm encouraging people to comment here instead, so your comment doesn't get lost in the shuffle. The topic: I discourage men (and women, for that matter) from dating women with minor children. You might disagree with me. Maybe you have stories to tell. This is the place!

I urge people not to add chaos to their child's life. Don't date single mothers, or mothers of minor or dependent children!

And before you ask again, here is something I wrote to a widowed mother.

Disagree? Agree? Do you have success stories? Horror stories? Comment below! BUT PLEASE DO NOT USE PROFANITY (CUSS WORDS) in your comment or I probably won't publish it. This is acceptable: "That's bull****!" Writing out the word in full is not acceptable. No F word. No C word. No S word. No D word. You get the idea.

Sensational Headlines Might Mislead

Law enforcement agencies are government departments, dependent on taxpayer money, and like getting credit for good deeds.

News media likes sensational headlines because it gets them clicks and viewers.

A lot of people have conspiratorial and crisis thinking, meaning they are sure there's a crisis going on, and it is the result of a vast conspiracy.

Every once in a while, there will be a headline like this:

"68 Missing Children Recovered From Human Trafficking Operation, [Law Enforcement Agency] Says"

That makes it sound like there was a building with 68 children inside of it, where strangers would go and pay money to sexually abuse them, maybe "buy" them to take home.

Shocking, right? How evil!!!

Except... that's not really what happened. And thank goodness it isn't.

Jumping to Conclusions

Man kills self, woman most affected. (Consider that a trigger warning.)

I posted about this on Twitter but I wanted to write more about it here.

Stop Child Abusers

Child abuse happens everywhere, regardless of demographics. What's worse, some child abuse is captured on video and uploaded online for perverts to enjoy.

That's one reason I implore people not to waste their time, money, and energy trying to stop CONSENTING ADULTS from making erotica and CONSENTING ADULTS from viewing erotica. All of those resources should be directed at preventing child abuse (and the abuse of adults) and locking up those who perpetrate it.

Why We Should Use the Death Penalty

Here's another one of those all-too-common cases to remember when you see people encouraging others to become parents. It's from Alejandra Reyes-Velarde and it was in the Los Angeles Times:

A Fontana woman previously convicted of child abuse has been charged in the death of her 3-year-old daughter, who died days after being taken to the hospital with injuries that authorities said stemmed from abuse.

Fontana is in the "Inland Empire", which is the part of California that east of Los Angeles county and the OC and west of the border with Arizona and Nevada. There are some fine people who live in the Inland Empire, but it's also home to a lot of people who are wasting their human potential.

Miriam Sandoval, 37, and the child’s father, Richard Rojo, 34, were arrested Feb. 27 after Fontana police responded to a medical aid call in the 9500 block of Madrona Avenue. When they arrived, officers found a 3-year-old girl who was not breathing, authorities said.

Nice. Notice he's the "child's father", so I guess that means they never bothered to marry?

The girl was taken to the hospital and died Sunday, Fontana police spokesman Jay Sayegh said. 

It’s unclear how the girl died, but Sayegh said she had “significant visible body injuries.”

Infuriating.

Sandoval previously was convicted of child abuse after the girl, as an infant, suffered broken bones, including a broken pelvis.

A broken flippin' pelvis. On an infant.

“It’s extremely frustrating,” Sayegh said, adding that the woman was put on probation after a plea deal. “This is a woman who should have never been around those kids again. It’s heartbreaking.”

Gotta love those plea deals. Imagine the life that kid lived.

Sandoval and Rojo have two other children: the dead girl’s twin sister and a boy about 6, Sayegh said. The children are now under the care of the county’s Children and Family Services Department, police said.

Let's hope they don't end up with abusers.

Authorities do not think Rojo participated in the abuse, but Sayegh said the man was negligent.

He knocked the woman up at least twice knowing she was an example of toxic femininity.

“The father took no actions to protect the children,” he said. “That’s his obligation.”

There's something to remember, guys. If you don't protect the children, you're also held responsible. This is something I've had to remember myself. As far as I know, my wife hasn't physically or sexually abused our children, but physical and sexual abuse aren't the only forms of abuse.

At least one of these adults deserves the death penalty, which California still technically has, but it's a joke because the thing has been thwarted by cruel people.

Stop Telling People to Have Kids

Concerned with dropping "fertility rates", there are people who encourage others to have (more) children. This is one of millions of examples of why that's a terrible idea.

Hannah Fry reported in the Left Angeles Times...

The city of Napa and Napa County will pay $5 million to settle a lawsuit filed by the father and grandmother of a 3-year-old girl who was tortured and killed in 2014.

The City of Napa and the Count of Napa. That means the taxpayers of Napa. That's because they were supposed to somehow only have government officials and employees who would have prevented this.

Kayleigh Slusher died in a Napa apartment in January 2014 after being neglected and abused by her mother, Sarah Krueger, and her mother’s boyfriend, Ryan Warner. Both were convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison, according to court records.

They should have gotten the death penalty.

After Kayleigh’s death, the girl’s body was stuffed in a duffel bag and stored in the freezer for three days before she was placed in her bed, where police ultimately found her. The girl’s cause of death was multiple blunt-force injuries to her head, torso and extremities. She had suffered a broken rib and damage to her small intestine and was covered in bruises before she died, authorities said at the time.

Don't you tell me that lethal injection is "cruel and unusual". The people who wrote and adopted that phrase into our Constitution would have done far worse to her murderers.

Kayleigh’s father, Jason Slusher — who was serving a prison sentence when his daughter was killed — and her grandmother, Robin Slusher, filed a lawsuit against the city and county in 2015 alleging that despite obvious signs of abuse and neglect, police and child welfare officials did not intervene or remove Kayleigh from her mother’s home.

Why was her father in prison? Was he wrongly convicted? Or was Sarah Krueger just that good at picking men? Whichever it was, Jason made a terrible mistake in knocking up Sarah. And his mother... how did she raise that guy? All that being said, I do recognize that there are legal principles that apply here that say they could be rotten people (not saying they are, but they COULD be) and they still have standing to get big bucks because of what happened to their daughter/granddaughter.

The lawsuit said that in the three weeks before Kayleigh died, Napa police and child services had been called to the girl’s home five times regarding possible abuse and drug use.

When officers visited the home, they “would have seen that she was covered in bruises and in excruciating pain from a broken rib and the intestinal infection that was slowly killing her,” but they did nothing, according to a statement from Slusher’s attorneys.

Is anything being done to the people who responded to these calls? Demotions? Loss of jobs? Criminal prosecutions? Stuff like that has been pursued in SoCal after a highly publicized torture-murder of a boy. Or is Joe Taxpayer the only person who's paying?

I have no idea if the responding personnel were simply callous or jaded or secretly hate little girls, or if they made genuine mistakes, or if they were sincere but completely incompetent. I wasn't there. I wasn't in their heads. It certainly looks like they failed to take action when they clearly should have. It's a terrible position to be in. If you make mistakes, kids die or you take kids out of a loving home, at least for a while.

But let's not forget who put that little girl in that position in the first place. Her own parents. When parents can't or won't protect their children instead of torturing and murdering them, how do we expect a bureaucracy to do it effectively on a consistent basis? Answer: It can't. Which means horror stories are inevitable.

Stop telling people to have children. They really shouldn't, unless they're prepared and willing to be good parents.

Don't Sign Up For This

Two letters to Dear Abby and an obituary notice are something to behold, guys.
A SECOND CHANCE wrote to Dear Abby:

Because I was sexually abused as a child, I have difficulty trusting men.

DONE. That's a big "DO NOT TOUCH" sign right there. That's how she started the letter.

My oldest sons have different fathers. While they were toddlers, I met the father of my youngest two sons.

She trusted three men enough to let them stick it in her and knock her up. Who knows how many other men have been there? Doesn't that take some level of trust?

Stop Adding Chaos To Your Child's Life

I've listed many reasons why most people should avoid having children, getting married, or even being in a relationship at all.

I know full well most people will still do these things.

If someone doesn't want children, they should ensure they won't. Men who don't want children should get vasectomies and women should get tubal ligation or have their ovaries and/or uterus removed, whatever is best for them given their health considerations.

But if someone is going to have children, they have a moral obligation to set up the best situation they can to raise those children, who have no choice in the matter except to go along with what their parents set up.

That means:

1) Finding a suitable person of the opposite sex. [1]
2) Marrying them. [2]
3) Treating that person well. [3]
4) Building a stable, suitable life for raising children. [4]
5) Then having children.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who do #5 before (or without ever doing) the others, even before #1. And there are also people who, because they didn't really do #1 or #3, they end up divorced or widowed or separated (physically even if not legally). So there are many children now living in what we call a broken home, meaning mom and dad are not living together, raising their child together.

Dr. Laura (and maybe others?) insists that parents of minor children should not remarry until their youngest child is grown and certainly not make more babies. She goes further and says that the existing minor children should not even be exposed to a parent's new lover. So many people think this stance is bizarre. It just sounds so radical to them because parents of minor children getting into new relationships is so common these days.

But I agree with her.

Bad Boys Are So Much Fun - Until They Murder Your Kid

It's a good thing "safe and legal" abortion prevents this stuff from happening, as promised. Oops. It didn't. Alene Tchekmedyian had the unenviable task of reporting at the Los Angeles Times on a couple of baby murderers.

Brandon Jerel Williams, 27, was sentenced to 25 years to life in state prison after he was found guilty of first-degree murder, torture and assault on a child causing death, according to the Los Angeles County district attorney’s office.

His 23-year-old girlfriend, Rosie Lee Wilson, was convicted of second-degree murder and child abuse and sentenced to 15 years to life in prison.

Prosecutors said the fatal beating occurred Aug. 21, 2014, when Wilson left her son with Williams, her live-in boyfriend.

Some guy thought it was a good idea to stick it in Wilson and impregnate her. Good job there, buddy. Now, the question is, does he even know he got her pregnant? Did he care? Did he fight for custody? Since he's not even mentioned in the article, my guess is that he's completely out of the picture. But, it is the Los Angeles Times so that might not be so.

One of the "crazy" things Dr. Laura tells people on her show as often as she can is that they should not bring their new lovers around their minor kids. People think that's ridiculous advice, but stories like this are Exhibit A as to why I agree with her. Children are far more likely to be abused by their parent's new lover.

When you read on, it becomes clear this "mother" was choosing her new gina tingles by a bad boy over her own child.

Is Ongoing Victim Status Warranted?

While searching Twitter for Dr. Laura stuff, it became apparent that the last call she took at the end of today's first hour got on the nerves of several people on Twitter, and likely a lot of other people in the audience who didn't take to Twitter.

If you catch the podcast, it started  at 40:23 and is from "Linn" (not sure of the spelling, but a woman). She's 57, and she said she has two older brothers, one of them being two years older. She went on to say that when she was 11 and/or 12, (making him 13/14), he did some sexual things with/to her for a couple of years, about half a dozen times.

Generally, and it was consistent for this call, Dr. Laura notes that if there is less than four years age difference between teens/preteens and there isn't threats or force or anything along those lines, the therapeutic community tends to look at these things not as abuse, but as mutual messing around out of adolescent or childhood curiosity (although, Dr. Laura noted that a lot of feminist/victim-bent counselors would feed into the caller's perspective of it all being horrendous abuse on the part of her brother).

The caller said she would freeze, and that she knew it was wrong. She also said she'd "blocked out" some of it. Those are the "magic words" for Dr. Laura, who dismisses (as, now, do many therapists) "repressed/recovered" memories. She notes that there are a lot of military people with PTSD that wish they had the ability to repress memories. I'd like to believe Dr. Laura is right, but I also wonder if SOME people can repress memories and others "can't".

Anyway, Dr. Laura noted that they were close in age, and also gave the caller a chance to throw in if her brother had been threatening or forceful or whatever, but the caller didn't. Clearly, Dr. Laura expected that if the caller was entirely a victim (rather than being somewhat curious or horny herself), she would have done something after the first or second time... told someone, screamed, fought with him... something. The caller did say there was a time she walked away, but the rest of the time she said she was "frozen".

Dr. Laura referred to the situation as "complicated". She wasn't "blaming the victim". She was, from what I can tell, trying to depict a difference from reluctant, but willing participation in sex play and actually being forced or manipulated in an assault.

If I understood correctly, the caller waited until she was 45 to write a letter and read it to her brother. If he was truly predatory then he likely went on to abuse others. So that's a lot of time for him to go without anyone calling him out. At some point, someone who has been abused has a responsibility to protect others.

Did Dr. Laura botch this call? I don't think so. I can believe that the caller genuinely feels victimized and is still suffering as a result, but the question is why does she feel that way? Perhaps if she'd gotten the right help sooner, she'd be much better off now. Was her brother a predator, or just a curious boy? All we have is what the caller said, and she said she'd "freeze" and didn't tell anyone. I don't know... if I'd been that age and someone was doing something to me, I know I would  have told someone, unless it wasn't predatory and was mutual. But we're not all the same, are we? 11/12 is a little old to stay silent, I think, unless there's a whole 'nother story to what was going on in that family.

I never had any desire to do anything with my siblings. I never looked at them that way. Nothing ever happened between us. I was shy and modest. But as therapists know, childhood/adolescent messing around does happen between some siblings. It can be wrong without being a criminal or abusive matter.

Tying the Hands of Parents Behind Their Backs

If you're looking to have as little government involvement in your life, then you have another reason to NOT have children.

Having children means the government will have a foot in the door of your home. Even if you avoid government schools and send your kids to private school or you homeschool them, all it takes is for someone to report being concerned about your children to get the government involved in your home, even if there is not even a hint of abuse or neglect of your children. It can be someone in your extended family. It could be some stranger in the parking lot of a supermarket. It could be a neighbor.

Even if the police or social workers, after getting into your private life, determine everything is fine for your kids, there will now be a file and a record of them having gotten involved, and you're on your way to losing the benefit of the doubt.

The recent high-profile case of a National Football League player apparently repeatedly striking his young son with a switch is an extreme case. I'm not talking about something as extreme as that. How about a light swat in the tush with an open hand? Some people consider that abuse.

So there's the...

A Refresher About What To Do

Let there be no doubt about what you are supposed to do when you witness (or have other proof) that someone is molesting or assaulting a child: call the police.

If you see the head of a charity molesting a child, call the police.
If you see your boss molesting a child, call the police.
If you see the coach of a championship team molesting a child, call the police.
If you see an educator molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a daycare (day orphanage) worker molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a police officer molesting a child, call other police.
If you see a pop music superstar molesting a child, call the police.]
If you see a member of the clergy molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a scout leader molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a neighbor molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a movie director molesting a child, call the police.
If you see a judge molesting a child, call the police.
If you see the President of the United States, or a candidate for such a position molesting a child, call the police.
If you see your spouse, shack-up, lover, or date molesting a child, call the police.
If you see your parent molesting a child, call the police.
If you see your sibling molesting a child, call the police.
If you see your grown child molesting a child, call the police.

Call the police. THEN you can call others. But call the police yourself. Don't rely on others to call the police or "take care" of the situation.

Protect children.

Got that?

(No, I was never molested.)

Another Boy Being Raised in Chaos

Here's another shining example from the "single mother" files. FEARFUL NANA IN GEORGIA wrote in to Dear Abby:

My daughter, "Alana," has a 7-year-old son my husband and I have helped to raise while she got her life together and pursued her lucrative career.

There's no father around, or mentioned at all. One must wonder why Alana didn't give the boy, "Tristan", up for adoption since she is so busy.

The problem is, every time Alana gets a new boyfriend, she rushes to make the boyfriend Tristan's "daddy."

Unacceptable. She shouldn't be doing that, but no man should be putting up with it.

The men my daughter chooses are crude, rude and, without fail, feel a need to "straighten out" Tristan. My grandson does not need straightening out because he is polite, engaging and a good soul.

What he needs is you to adopt him.

Alana claims she's "in love" and fails to see the potential harm this guy could inflict on Tristan. We do not employ corporal punishment, but Jeff has already said (several times) he would "beat his butt"!

That is your concern? Spanking? That's the least of the problems with what is going on.

Dear Abby questions Alana's self-esteem (of course - even though it sounds like Alana wasn't spanked). If she has such low esteem, how did she get a lucrative career?

You and your husband need to get across to her how harmful it is for her to repeatedly introduce men to her son as "daddies."

She's not going to listen.

Parents should wait until they know their prospective mates well enough to be assured they won't injure the child physically or psychologically.

Parents should wait until their kids are grown.

That poor kid. His grandparents are his lifeline. Who knocked up Alana? Do you have any idea what is being done to your offspring?

Danger, Will Robinson!

"Wavering" wrote to Dear Margo:

I’m in my early 20s, a university student and mother to a lovely little boy.

But no husband? What’s wrong with this picture? (A lot.)

I had a boyfriend some years ago, and although things didn’t work out, we kept in touch and remained good friends. He went on a world tour recently and made the effort to visit me in another country, and told me he’d never forgotten me and still loved me. We got engaged, and our families were thrilled. But I can’t shake the feeling I’m doing the wrong thing.

Well, yes, you are. You shouldn't be involved with another guy while you are supposed to be raising your boy.

He’s a lovely, kind man, generous to a fault, highly educated, intelligent — and he thinks the world of my little boy. He wants to move halfway across the world to marry me and be a father to my son.

Hold on a second. I'm sure you’re an attractive woman and all, but the way you describe this guy, he could have any woman he wants. Why would he want to relocate "halfway across the world" to marry a single mother? (I can assure you that you do not have the one and only magic vagina.)

Let's consider the options:

1. He's hiding from the law.
2. He's got a psychotic fixation on the past (did you dump him previously)?
3. He's stupid or underestimates himself to a fault (both remain possibilities despite, or because, of his education).
4. He's really married to someone else and you’d essentially be marrying a bigamist who wants wives in two very different places in the world.
5. He's a pedophile.

Add that onto the fact that your boy doesn't need the new (or recurring) guy in his life, and you should say "NO!"

But I’m not in love with him.

Strike three. Even without the other things, it is selfish to marry a man you're not in love with because of the things you think he can do for you.

He’s extremely sentimental, for example, and effeminate in his mannerisms. I know it sounds terrible to say, but I find him so unattractive that I can’t bear the thought of intimacy with him.

I smell the putrid stench of a pedophile. Or maybe I’m imagining that at the guy is simply a homosexual (which is certainly not the same thing as a pedophile) and he wants a beard.

I feel that there has to be some sort of attraction for a marriage to work, no?

Yes. At your age, there needs to be physical attraction. There should also be attraction to personality and commonality on religion.

He tells me it doesn’t matter that I’m not ‘in love’ with him, that he wouldn’t even mind my ‘settling’ for him.

He's either on the down-low or he’s a child molester. WAKE UP, SISTER!

Dear Margo responded cluelessly:

If you marry this man, it will be a business transaction.

Yes, it is called pimping out your kid.

The fact that you find him effeminate and he has said being in love with him is not important suggest that he might be homosexual.

Okay, so maybe she isn't completely clueless.

Update on Chelsea Nichole McClelland Case

Andrew Blankstein at LATimes.com updates the case of a day orphanage operator who was, according to police, doing things she shouldn't have been with her 13-year-old godson.

Chelsea Nichole McClelland, 34, was arrested in December near Apple Street and Alsace Avenue, just north of the Santa Monica Freeway near La Brea Avenue. Charges were not immediately filed and she was released.

But she was charged Tuesday with four felony counts of lewd acts on a child under 14. The alleged acts occurred between Dec. 1 and Dec. 17, according to Jane Robison, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County district attorney's office.

The report says that the police think it started when the kid was 12. It's not just the males who prey on the young. As always, people are legally innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Samuel Corona: Admitted Child Murderer

If only we had a choice in boyfriends and girlfriends. Situations like these would never happen, right?

A California man has pleaded guilty to fatally beating and stomping his girlfriend's 6-year-old son, then taking the body to Arizona where it was buried and entombed in concrete.

Prosecutors say 37-year-old Samuel Corona pleaded guilty Friday to murder and torture for the 2007 death of Oscar Jimenez Jr.

As part of a plea deal, Corona is expected to be sentenced to life in prison without parole, escaping a possible death sentence if he had gone to trial.

The death penalty in California is a joke. Here's what happens to people sentenced to death:

They get special prison cells and protection. They don't have to worry about their own needs at all. Everything is taken care of for them - they get their shelter, a bed, clothing, meals, health care, and exercise. Oh, and groupies, if they want them. Then they die of old age.

Heck, as long as I could read what I wanted, which death row inmates can, I could be very happy with that life. Some murderers actually prefer a death sentence rather than LWOPP, because in California, it has the same end result, but death row inmates have it better.

It has been years since the last rare execution took place, and I don't expect there will be another one any time soon, if ever. But the ones who had been most recently executed had been on death row for something like 20-30 years. And they simply get put to sleep, never to wake up again, and yet people protest outside of the prison claiming that this is "cruel and unusual." The peole who wrote and adopted those words into the Constitution would laugh those protesters out of town.

I know there are great people out there who have good reasons for opposing the death penalty. That's fine. I can respect that. I disagree, though.

Investigators say Corona killed the boy inside the couple's San Jose home, then drove with the child's mother, Kathryn Jimenez, to Phoenix and buried the body.

A judge previously ruled that Kathryn Jimenez also was a victim of Corona's violence and sentenced her to one year in jail for endangering her son.

So when her boyfriend brutally murdered her son, rather than calling the cops, she went with her boyfriend! And she gets only one year in jail for putting her son under this monster’s foot. Please tell me her uterus has been removed. She was a victim of his violence? That is all the more reason why she should have done something to protect her son.

Her uterus should be used to block Corona’s air passage.

A Waste of Human Potential

People can be convinced to do just about anything, given the right conditions. You don't have to be stupid to allow yourself to fall into a trap. In fact, it often takes someone of high intelligence to be convinced to do some really bizarre things (think cultists who commit suicide together). Check out this Associated Press story by Jeff Karoub about Steven Demink, a very evil man who convinced some mothers to do some evil things. Please don’t think I’m excusing the mothers.

In real life, Steven Demink didn't have children, a college degree or a lasting career. Online, prosecutors say, he presented himself as Dalton St. Clair, an attractive single father and psychologist — a fantasy image authorities say the Michigan man used to persuade mothers across the country to commit unspeakable acts on their children.

Demink, 41, of Redford Township [Michigan, I’m thinking], preyed on single mothers for more than a year, prosecutors say, convincing them to sexually assault their children as a form of therapy. After pleading guilty Monday to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children, Demink faces 15 years to life in prison when he is sentenced in June.

How was he able to do this?

Demink's alter-ego was a single father of a 14-year-old girl, prosecutors said, and he posted pictures of male models as his headshots.

It's a good thing he really didn’t actually have children.

In some cases, court documents say, Demink promised the women a date if they followed through with his directions.

Playing on desperation for a walking ATM can get you far.

Since authorities arrested him in October, seven children were rescued and at least three mothers have been arrested. Prosecutors say all of the children are now safe.

Isn't that a little like saying that an arson burn victim is now safe because she is no longer on fire?

Authorities say Demink chatted with mothers from New Hampshire, Florida, Idaho and elsewhere, persuading them to engage in sexual acts with their children and send images via e-mail or through a live web stream. The children ranged in age from 3 to 15.

Of course Florida had to be part of this. So many strange stories involve that state.

Demink told U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen that before his arrest, he worked as a car salesman for about six months and before that for about five years at a local bank.

As if people didn't hate bankers and car salesmen enough already.

He said he completed a U.S. Customs and Border Protection training program in 2002 and worked for the Immigration and Naturalization Service for about a year.

That explains a lot.

As part of his plea agreement with prosecutors, seven charges against Demink were dropped.

I'm assuming the plea agreement was meant to spare victims a trial?

In one case, Demink started online chats with an Oregon woman about the sexual development of her 8-year-old autistic son, according to the plea agreement. He told her to engage in sexually explicit conduct with her son as a way to teach him about sex, prosecutors say, and she did so while Demink watched on a web camera.

You wonder how someone could fall for this, but people fall for all sorts of foolishness. I'm sure if we could be taken through how this happened step by step, we'd have a better understanding of how the mother could have suspended her judgment enough to do this. A lot of it could be the power we give to psychologists.

A Teton County Sheriff's Office report from December 2009 said the Idaho woman met "Daltonst28" on an online dating site called singleparentmeet.com. She told police she performed sex acts on her young son as directed by her online male friend.

The woman's mother, Eileen Schwab of Idaho, said she knows little of how Demink convinced her daughter to follow his orders. She said her daughter was "depressed and lonesome" after her divorce.

Good for Schwab. She decided to protect her grandchildren and the children of others over her protecting her own daughter from legal consequences.

Demink's attorney, Timothy Dinan, said his client "has expressed a lot of remorse" for what he did and has taken responsibility by pleading guilty.

He's probably just sorry he got caught. What a waste of human potential.

I'm glad law enforcement isn't letting the mothers off of the hook. I do wonder if the charges would have been the same and if the news article would have been the same if the sexes were switched - if this had been about some women convincing single fathers to molest their daughters.

Learn how to think clearly, critically, and discern. Don't blindly accept whatever "experts" tell you. Ask them to explain how they came to their conclusions. Some very intelligent and educated people have believed some very wrong things. Look for contradictions. And if something doesn't pass the smell test, think very hard more than once about it.