Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Quiet Bed

Most of us started having orgasms though masturbation, when we were living at home with parents and, for most of us siblings, on the other side of the door. Later, we shared rentals or dorm rooms with others, and just as when we were at home, we'd try to masturbate quietly enough not to be heard.

Or, for those who fornicated while living in such situations, you likewise were likely to try to keep quiet, trying to keep moans, gasps, and whimpers quiet and keep sex talk (what some people might call "talking dirty") to a quiet minimum.

Marital lovemaking should not be an embarrassment or shameful. It is exactly right, it isn't wrong. As such, the only reason why a married couple would want to stay quiet is not to wake/disturb others who make be in the home, especially children.

Due to the layout of our house and other factors, it is unlikely the kids would hear us during their sleeping hours.

My wife is quiet. That's fine. The other night, I tried talking. I'm not talking about using derogatory terms for her or for our body parts – I'm not interested in that. But I tried talking in a sexy way about what I wanted her to do and what I wanted to do to her.

She shot that down right away, thus adding yet another thing to the "no" list. She went on to say that I've been having sex a lot longer than she has, and that she doesn't need bells and whistles (yet). I quipped that at the rate/frequency we're at, we'll never get there. She responded by citing any number of factors that are creating the existing situation, none of which I have control over. Some will change. Others will not. But the ones that do change, I expect to be replaced with others, based on past experience.

Thinking back, sex has almost always been a quiet thing for me. I can only recall My First MILF being vocal. She would moan, she would tell me I was hitting the right spot, that I was a perfect fit, that I was big, stuff like that. Come to think of it, my wife said I was big the other night. But other than that, the only other thing she says is in response to me asking her what she wants, and she'll say the generic "make love to me". Maybe I should ask her, "How exactly?"

As far as the "big" talk – ladies can almost never go wrong talking like that, unless the guy knows full well that he's unusually small. It's like telling a woman that her hair looks fantastic when she's just had a salon disaster. Still, I point out that babies come out of there, so how can I really feel all that big? I don't want her to stop talking like that, though.

Ladies, aural sex is a good thing. Talking and making "appreciative" noises can enhance the lovemaking for your hubby. I don't mean telling him about what color you'd like the room painted. Tell him what he's doing right, give him constructive suggestions, tell him what you want him to do or what you want to do. Tell him how he's making you feel.

Do you have any good things to say, in addition to "You're so big!"? Go ahead and share them. Or, what do you like to hear?


  1. Ken, your blog should be required reading for every single Christian man. Your honesty is like an oasis in a desert.

  2. Thanks, Peter. I'm just relating one man's experiences. Mileage may vary for others.


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