Thursday, December 09, 2010

Normal Straight Men Appreciate the Female Form

Married Man Sex Life responded to a young wife who asked why her husband is attracted to other women. She asked if she isn’t good enough.

It's actually normal for a husband to have a general sexual interest in other women. For a 20 year old husband it's very normal. 20 year old males are basically hard wired to screw anything that moves. So in that sense it's not "about you". It's just the testosterone talking in him. The husbands that don't have a general sexual interest in other women have wives that write to me asking how to get their husbands interested in sex with them. So the good news is that your husband is heterosexual and has a pulse.
Yes, be honest wives. Wouldn't you rather have a husband who is attracted to other women in addition to you (but doesn't stray) with you occasionally noticing him checking out other women... than a man who has no sex drive or is a closeted homosexual?

So rather than frame the question as "why does he want other women / why am I not good enough?", why not see it as "he has a high sexual drive / he's expressing he needs help with it".

What you can do is actively listen to him about it. You can let him vent and express frustration, but also be clear that the appropriate person to have sex with is you, that there will indeed be negative consequences for sleeping with someone other than you. Plus you have to have sex with him. If you define yourself as his sole sexual outlet, you have to be that outlet or eventually that with blow up on you.
Dennis Prager, who talks and writes much about male sexuality, puts it more or less as "thank your husband for not straying" and never rebuff him. He says that if women could experience what it felt like to be a normal man, they would be amazed that any man avoids infidelity.

Badger Nation commented:

Don't want to speculate on the reader's background, but it's like they think once the modern piece of paper is signed thousands of years of biological programming should just switch off and he should only have eyes for her.
A good husband value his wife over all other women. But that doesn't mean he will not look at other women, even if his is married to the most beautiful woman in the world. He'll try not to be tacky about it, and he will satisfy his urges by making love to his wife.

Previously: Distressed By Normal Masculine Traits

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