Cosmo Advice on Keeping Him Interested

Yahoo distributes a lot of content for magazines like Cosmo. This is often a way for me to get a look at what women are being told by media directed at them and not men. Sometimes it is good for a chuckle, sometimes not. This article by Bethany Heitman promises to tell dating women "5 Risky Moves to Keep Him Interested in You".

You have an amazing guy in your life, so your instinct may be to stay in your comfort zone and not do anything to mess things up. But in order to evolve and build a sturdier connection, you really have to take some risks -- even if it's nerve-wracking.

Personal relationships inherently involve the risk of vulnerability.

"Making certain bold calls keeps your relationship moving and allows you both to reveal your true colors," says relationship therapist Jennifer Oikle, PhD. "When you are willing to do that, you forge a stronger, tighter bond, and you keep things interesting."

Being yourself is the only way to have true intimacy – along with keeping confidences.

Okay... here we go...

#1. Cut Back Your Calls to Him

Uh, how does that get anyone closer? Yes, if you're calling too much, you need to cut back your calls. I had one girlfriend who would want to talk on the phone before we fell asleep, then wanted a call the first thing the next morning. There was literally nothing to talk about, and then she'd accuse me of holding back.

"Checking in frequently with your female friends brings you closer, but paradoxically, it can drive a guy away," says psychotherapist Patricia Covalt, PhD, author of "What Smart Couples Know."

So, if you tend to do that with guys, their advice really isn't to be yourself... it is to change. At least enough to get the relationship to where you want it to be. Then you can revert back to being annoying.

That's because men use the phone only when they need to get or give information. If you're calling to say hi and start a conversation about the minutia of your life, he may jump to the conclusion that you're being needy.

That is why you have girlfriends.

#2. Disagree With Him

Never disagree just as a test. It is a stupid little game and if a man figures it out, your toast.

But stating your opinion when you don't see eye-to-eye on something substantial -- like politics or moral issues -- makes for a healthier relationship.

Yes, by all means figure out where your differences are on important life matters. It might end the relationship, but that could be for the better.

"Men connect through verbal bantering and are attracted to women who challenge them," says Oikle. "They respect a girl more if she can keep pace and get his competitive side riled up."

I don’t know – some people like to fight and have drama with their spouse. Not me.

When something comes up that you don't agree on, let him know your views and why, then give him the opportunity to explain his position.

Yup. However, if a guy is just looking for sex, the less he reveals in this area the better.

#3. Do Your Own Thing... and Don't Invite Him

Yes, and don't give him grief for doing the same thing, planning things for him to do alone or with buddies.

#4. Confront Him With Relationship Issues

If he's just looking for sex, and you ask "Where is this relationship going?" the answer is "To end."

So sometimes a woman will avoid telling a dude when something he's done has hurt or confused her. But keeping quiet doesn't work in the long run, says Covalt. Eventually, you'll build resentment, those tiny love problems will balloon into bigger ones, and you're liable to have a huge blowout that totally wigs him out.

Yup. If you say "NOTHING!!!" when he asks, "What's wrong?" He should say, "Great! So buck up and let's have a great time." You'll tell him eventually. Why should he labor over it?

#5. Show Your Love

Of course.

Okay, here's my advice for keeping him interested. If you want to keep your husband interested, flirt and tease and then deliver. No kids in the house? Strip. Walk around naked. Either way, keep the lovemaking playful, plentiful and try different things. Don't butcher your hair and do stay in good shape.

If you're not married yet, then keep showing him that you're the kind of woman who is going to be a good wife.

The article continued with things women shouldn't do.

Following the old rule that whatever is his is also yours -- making it totally okay to invade what he considers private.

I had a girlfriend who literally "cleaned" my apartment without warning while I was at work- everywhere. She went through everything. Not good. She had OCD, though I didn't know it back then. Until you are married, it isn't "ours". There's his and there is yours.

Putting his loyalty to the test. Hey, his mom is heinous, so you tell him it's you or her.

You should be able to tell his loyalty by his ongoing actions.

Giving his best friend a kiss -- a real one.

Well duh.

Doing a background check on him.

I have no problem with mutual background checks before an impending marriage.

Introducing him to friends as your future husband.

Only if you are engaged. Otherwise, it is a bad thing to do.