Why Aren't You Married?

[I'm bumping up this entry because it is as relevant as ever. I noticed that I indicated that things go well in my marriage some of the time. "Well" is a relative term. If you would have described to me the "good" time in my marriage now before I married, I wouldn't have married.]

Even when things are going well in my marriage, I’m not one of those married guys who thinks everyone should be married. Unless someone has a baby on the way, it irritates me when I see someone pressuring someone else to get married. [My thinking on this has changed.]

Whether you are officially on a marriage strike or you have decided marriage is not for you, the fact remains that most people will get married at some time in their life, and so many people assume everyone wants to get married. Whether from relatives or coworkers or women who want you to buy them drinks, or fellow religious congregants, guys get to hear it over and over again: "Why aren't you married?"

If you are a Free Man or part of Men Going Their Own Way, or you are a marriage striker, or have simply decided marriage is not for you, what works as a good reply to this annoying question? Being married, I don’t use these, of course, but let's look at a few possible replies. Please comment with any good ones you have, too.

Here are six responses, getting progressively more provocative (I keep in mind that casual sex is no loner discouraged in our culture):

Breaking An Engagement

So you're engaged. You proposed (or maybe she did) and you gave her a ring. You might even have a wedding date, but nothing has been reserved or paid for yet. Invitations have not gone out. (If you're not engaged, just a couple, see this entry on how to break up.)

You need to prevent this from going any further.

Some people stay in perpetual "engagement" by never setting a wedding date or repeatedly pushing back the date. You should only try that if you truly like the way things are now and are certain they wouldn't be better if you were free. However, such situations are almost inevitably and increasingly filled with tension as she will try to get you more and more trapped and under her control.

The first step to breaking an engagement is to prevent further entanglement. It will help if you're "very busy right now" with work or issues with your parents/siblings, etc.

If you don't live together, don't start. If you do live together, see what I wrote here. If you've been spending a lot of time/overnights at her place, get as much of your stuff that you want to keep back to your place. If she notices and asks about it, and you're not ready to hit the eject button yet, just say you don't want to clutter up her place. If she's been spending a lot of time/overnights at your place, keep in mind the things that are hers that you're going to have to send back to her. Be ready to change your locks/access codes when you do hit the eject button.

Don't make big purchases with her or for her, or sign paperwork (loans, mortgages, leases, contracts) with or for her, or open up financial or online accounts with her.

Don't set dates, make reservations, or make deposits for any wedding related stuff (wedding ceremony, reception, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, etc.) Delay, delay, delay. Same goes with providing her an invitation list.

There's a lot more to it, but most of what I wrote in How to Break Up also applies to breaking an engagement, and I'll again direct you to this entry, which explains how to deal with or get out of certain entanglements you might have.

It's likely that breaking your engagement will be messy. The closer to the wedding date she picked and the more entanglements you have, the more of a mess it will be. (I'll write about cancelling a pending wedding in another entry.) She might cause scenes, stalk you, badmouth you, make serious false allegations against you, attack you, vandalize your property, try to argue with you, try to get back together with you and "make it work. Anything like that should reinforce that you made the right decision in breaking the engagement. You might need to get restraining orders and retain the services of an attorney.

Take care of yourself.

Remember that breaking the engagement was a good decision even if:

• It is a hassle, difficult, and disruptive
• It cost you money
  
• People in your life aren't happy about it
• You grew up thinking you'd be married, especially at this age
• You're feeling sad, bad, or horny
• You miss certain things about her or your relationship with her
• She has gone into a downward spiral
• She is improving herself (that just goes to show you she took your loyalty for granted!)
  
• She appears to living it up
• She is now with a guy who seems "better" than you
  

Never allow yourself to get into this situation again. Engagements are not for your benefit, and that's even more true about marriage. Whatever costs of pains there are in breaking an engagement, those pale in comparison to marriage and to divorce. As a free man, you get to do with your time, money, residence, and life in general what you want to do.

If you have at least one child together: You need to consider what is best for that child. Some people will tell you that marrying is best for the children. But as long as you are determined to be there for your children, a terrible state contract doesn't make anything better. A positive, cooperative relationship with the mother of your children does. (DO NOT conceive any more children, especially with another woman!) You might try avoiding or delaying the wedding. You definitely need to consult a lawyer. If this woman would agree to customized paperwork, like a cohabitation agreement, and a non-legal ceremony (if she really, really insists on having a wedding), it can be better than getting legally married. Point out to her that you two are doing fine already without getting the government involved.

"Why Can't Men Be Upfront and Honest?" - Part 6

Male nature means he's thought about it. Keep reading for an explanation of what I mean.

I've meant to write something like this for a long time now, but after seeing a couple of women on Reddit asking related questions, I'm finally doing this.

You need to sit down and brace yourself. This may come as a surprise to women, especially the more "education" they've been through, but...

Men and women are different. Some of those differences are natural, and we were born with these differences.

You might need to take a minute to recover from reading that. You might be angry with me. But it's the truth. And the sooner you accept that, the better off everyone will be. Read it as many times as you need.

You need to keep that truth in mind when you say you want men (or, "your" man) to be honest, to be vulnerable, to be open, to share things with you, to tell you what they're thinking, to share their fantasies, to not have secrets from you, etc.

Because here's one thing that it means that might startle, disturb, or disgust you, because you literally have a brain that works differently:

Men are attracted to a far wider spectrum of women than women are to men. In general, for any woman he's spent any amount of time around, he's wondered what she looks like naked, has pictured it, has likely thought at least briefly what it would be like to have sex with her, and even might have masturbated with her in his mind, no matter how briefly. This includes female neighbors and coworkers, your friends, even your sister, mother, etc. This is male biology. This is part of male sexual nature.

Are there exceptions? Yes. They include:

The Passing Parade of Radio

Once upon a time, there were AM and FM radio, record/tape/CD players, and that was about it for your listening choices.

Now, thanks to satellite radio and smart phones (and tablets and laptops that can stream), there are endless choices for you: live streams, podcasts, audiobooks, etc. abound in addition to satellite radio and AM and FM radio.

It’s not just listeners who have more choices. So do advertisers.

This has unavoidably meant terrestrial radio (AM and FM) in general, talk radio included, have suffered.

Gone are the days “everyone” listened to one of a handful of morning shows and afternoon drive-time shows.

This is why there are fewer talk shows that have live callers on-air. This is why there’s more syndicated programming instead of local. This is why some stations have gone away entirely - not a format flip, but the frequency itself going silent. This is one reason why so many of your favorite radio personalities have been dismissed or have left. It doesn’t help that rock music is dying. You can find terrestrial radio stations playing the same 25 rock songs from the 1970s onward, but for how much longer? There are no new superstar iconic rock bands and the existing bands are literally dying out, retiring, or only touring to play their old hits, since touring can pay, new recordings not as much.

When Howard Stern left for satellite radio, I didn’t care enough to pay up. I had plenty of other choices to listen to in the morning for free. From what I understand, Stern now only does his show a few days per week, the weeks he actually does it, and (as his former employee John Melendez put it), has turned into the kind of host he used to goof on. If I wanted the present-day Stern’s take on things, I only have to read the New York Times.

Dr. Laura, who loathes any comparison to Stern, also left terrestrial radio for satellite radio. Now her, I followed, but it’s clear many people didn’t. To this day, she gets callers who rediscovered her because of getting a new vehicle with a temporary subscription to SiriusXM. How many never rediscovered her? I didn’t get satellite radio. I’ve been paying for the podcast version of her program. I’ve been contemplating dropping it, though.

In what has to be humiliating, Dr. Laura is currently having trouble selling out a theater for two performances of… a lecture? I don’t know. It’s supposedly what she’s learned. Maybe more people would go if she was going to be candid about her journey from her first marriage, to the days she was with Bill Balance, to shacking up with an older married father and having a child with him, to embracing Orthodox Judaism and then dropping it, to getting to the point of what she now preaches. 

That she’s obviously had trouble getting enough people to buy tickets for her live appearance in the market that’s always been her home market is revealing, considering she used to have bestselling books and the number 2 or 3 national radio program. Combine that with her dropping from five days per week to four and still filling some of the time with unannounced recordings of previously aired calls, and I have to wonder if she really is going to refuse to retire and be allowed to continue.

Dennis Prager has also reduced his show. In addition to being away for listener trips and Jewish holidays, he’s often traveling or in meetings during his show’s hours. But he dropped from 3 to 2 hours. He claimed it was so he could finish writing projects, but I have to wonder if his employer (Salem) asked him to take a pay cut and that was part of the reason. I also pay for the podcast version of his show and I almost never listen to the guest hosts.

Saddest of all to witness is Michael Medved. His employer, Salem, stood by him when he needed time away to battle throat cancer. I’m so glad they did and so glad he beat that. But his rejection of Trump during the 2016 election appears to be when things started to unravel for him. He had been one of their national hosts, but he was dumped and replaced with Sebastian Gorka, who worked for Trump.

Finally, about the start of 2024, he was dumped by his home station. As of now, I don’t think there’s a radio station he’s on. I haven’t found one listed on his website. Instead, he has a podcast. I used to subscribe to the podcast version of his radio show, but I wasn’t getting enough out of it relative to the time needed to listen, so I couldn’t justify the expense.

At least Larry Elder is back on Salem programming after taking time off to “run for” Governor of California and then for the Republican nomination for President. I write that as “run for” because, while I like the Sage, he had to have known he wasn’t actually going to win, so his candidacies had to have been about something other than his winning those elections. That’s fine; many people run for various reasons. But I’m glad he’s back on free radio.

All of the above are in their 70s. How much longer will they be doing radio? Who will replace them? Yes, there are newer, younger hosts, but will those hosts ever have the same influence these others once had? Will they actually broadcast on free radio?

Almost as old as the hosts listed above is Tom Leykis. Except for the occasional interview or filling in for a day, he hasn’t been on radio since early 2009, so that’s one reason he’s last in this post. He ended his live, self-owned Internet stream in late 2018, doing a podcast since. Then, this year, he retired himself. Not only did he announce the end to his podcast, but he shut down his entire operation, removing his archive. He cites insurance concerns, meaning a fear of getting sued over something he said, but I think he doesn’t want the hassle or expense of maintaining an archive and handling customers.

This, too, shall pass.

Important Messages to Young Men - Health Is Invaluable

The introduction to this series is here.

Health is invaluable. If you're in good health and haven't been suffering from any serious illnesses, genetic problems, or injuries, you might feel indestructible and not be thinking much about it, but good health is one of the most important things in life and shouldn't be taken for granted. Bad health is limiting, costly, and time consuming.

If you're in good health, you almost certainly have fewer years of good health ahead of you than overall time, and as I said previously in this series, life is short. Someday, an injury or illness or just plain old age will do you in.

You have no control over which genes you got, but you can control what you consume and whatever else you do.

So:

• Get the sleep you need
• Keep yourself on the move by walking briskly, bicycling, hiking, climbing, or swimming - something with "cardio."
• Build and keep your muscles - like with cardio, you don’t have to join a gym to do this, if you need to save money and have the discipline to do it without a formal gym
• Control your anger, rage, aggression, and depression - therapy, exercise, and hobbies can help
  
• Watch what you eat and drink - the best way to lose excess fat is to never put it on in the first place - the 2nd best way is to move more and eat less
  
• Practice good hygiene, keeping your body washed, your hands washed and/or sanitized throughout the day, brush and floss your teeth and use a rinse
• Be careful about where you stick your penis and your mouth, and get tested regularly if you're not
  
• Be careful about steroids, booze, smoking of any sort, vaping, or any mind/mood altering substances whether prescribed, legally allowed, or illegal - you want your brain to function at its optimum, you don’t want addiction, and dirty needles are death
• Don't pick unnecessary fights and be careful about fights picking you - consider serious self-defense training, which will teach that it’s usually best to avoid a fight
  
• Don’t engage in stupid, unnecessary risks, like street racing
• Don’t shortcut safety protections for work
• Go to your doctors - all of them, including your dentist, and don’t ignore symptoms
  

You’re not indestructible. If you want a good, long life, you’ll take your health seriously. Bad health makes good sex less likely. Good health puts you at an advantage in many aspects of life.

Life is Short

One Difference Between My Wife and Me

One of many differences between my wife and me is that if I had a spouse who enjoyed giving enthusiastic oral sex that culminated in orgasms, I'd let them do that daily, or at least every other day, rather than once every three-to-six weeks.

Sigh.

Correlation Isn't Causation: Lower Risk of Divorce in Religious Young Marrieds

"A study shows that religious people who marry young and didn't shack up are less likely to divorce!"

The people who tout this want you to believe that if you're religious and marry young, without shacking up, you'll have a lasting, happy marriage.

Well, it might last legally.

There are other studies, though, that show that among all people who marry, people who marry in their late twenties are less likely to divorce than people who marry before then.

What gives?

There's a hint in the fact that people who marry really young don't have the time to cohabitate before they marry. It's a bit like saying that there's a low cancer rate among people killed in school shootings.

Here's what's going on.

People who are so religious that they get married young (this avoids unmarried sex) without having shacked up are also going to be so religious as to think that divorce is a terrible sin (also, they are probably living where - geographically and subculturally - there aren't a lot of options for other partners/spouses should they divorce). So they stay married.

Now, you might ask if these really are happy marriages.

The same people who want you to believe it's a good idea to marry young without shacking up also will tell you these people who've done that report that they are happy (with their marriage).

Of course they do! Because:

1. They see the alternative as being a terrible sinner, a pariah if they were divorced, looked upon with disapproval by the people who have been most important in their life. They aren't comparing their marriage to true freedom or another marriage. They are comparing it to having lawyers and courts and shaming and gossip and no sex or affection or company at all.

2. Admitting to researchers that they are miserable, or even just less than very happy, with their marriage is considered sin (such as ingratitude).

3. If they have picked up any of the "Word of Faith" type thinking, they would think it is a "negative confession" to say their marriage isn't great; they think it would make their marriage worse to admit it.

So, what happens? They stay together, miserable, and deal with it by eating, drinking, antidepressants, golfing, watching football all weekend, maybe beating each other up, having affairs, suicide, etc.

I know these people. I've been around a lot of them. A lot of them will claim to be ever so happy in their marriage right up until the moment they file for divorce, or kill themselves, or admit to an affair, or worse. Yes, some of them will divorce, just later.

I discourage most men from legally marrying or from shacking up, but if you're going to marry, DO NOT DO IT until you've achieved your dream. Don't believe these misleading reports. Yes, it would be nice to have a wife who "doesn't believe in divorce" but not if it means misery.

Oh No! Not Lower Fertility Rates!

If you don't know what "fertility rates" are, it refers to the average number of children born to a group.

There are people freaking out that certain populations are having fewer children. Who? Well:

• People who want more taxpayers around to support the government-run ponzi schemes like Social Security
• Government agencies (and their unions) that rely on saying they need to serve children in order to keep their funding
• Businesses that sell a lot of overpriced, quickly consumed or outgrown stuff for children
• Businesses that "serve" children, such as day orphanages
• Racists who are afraid the "wrong" people will outnumber their descendants

Now why are people having fewer children? Here are the reasons I can think of right now, in no particular order:

Is There An Obligation to Complete A Date?

A video when viral, with a woman saying she met with a man for a first date, and after seeing her, hugging her, and spending a very short amount of time with her, he asked her to step outside of the restaurant they’d just entered and he cancelled the date. According to her, he said he wasn’t feeling it.

She concluded the video by seeming to blame being overweight.

Maybe that was it, although I’ve seen claims she has pictures on her account that make it clear she’s big, so he had to have known before. Pictures can do that but still be misleading, though.

There’s so much I don’t know that matters to whether he did the right thing or not. The video isn’t long enough to begin to answer several questions.

Maybe it was something she was wearing, her makeup, her hair, or something she said or did? Maybe the hug? Just like some women do, there are guys who pay very close attention to EVERYTHING and are very particular about red flags, turn offs, etc. It could be as simple as she didn’t let him open the door of the restaurant for her. Maybe she was texting. Maybe she’d just been dropped off in front of him by her teen child he didn’t know existed.

It’s also possible the guy had some sort of mental or emotional problem.

He was almost certainly being honest when he said he wasn’t feeling it. If he thought there was a possibility of that changing, he would have likely continued with the date.

So many people say he should have continued with the date.

I tend to disagree, but overall context matters.

First, though, is the question: If he was obligated to continue the date, what exactly does that mean? Was he obligated to share a meal with her on his dime, being polite, friendly, engaged in a conversation, and going at a reasonable pace, and then wishing her well when they were both done and the check was paid?

If I was the guy and had done things the way I was raised, I would treated her to a good time as best as I could for a first date but not have done anything to lead her on (like kissing her or giving her compliments that weren’t sincere), made sure she got home safely, and after considering it for a couple of days to make sure, I would have given her sincere compliments and the “But…” and let her know it wasn’t going to be a match. Who knows? Maybe she would beat me to it.

Conversely, a man who is running game well would have avoided a meal date entirely. If they were instead meeting for drinks, and he was running game, yes, he should have ended it like that if he didn’t find her attractive. (The video appears to have been made immediately after the aborted date, and it appears it was still very much daylight outside, which isn’t recommended when running game.)

But there are questions.

Who set up the date? Traditionally, men ask for the date. But maybe she asked? If she asked, there is little question he had no obligation to go through with it even after meeting up.

There’s more of an obligation if he was the one who asked her out. But this is a bit of a game. Men are expected, most of the time, to ask, even when it’s clear they both want to meet up.

Did she communicate any expectations for this date? Was she expecting him to take her somewhere else after the meal or whatever? Had she indicated she expected sex? (Yes, some women do that.)

These are, essentially and presumably, strangers. He might have had a feeling he was somehow being set up or taken for his wallet, his DNA, false accusations, whatever.

Men are still generally expected to pay for dates. And time is money. It could be argued he was being responsible to abort the date. I guess we might say that consent to meet up for the possibility of a date isn’t consent to go through with it. His body/time/money, his choice. Can’t consent be revoked at any time?

Plenty of fat women get dates, get boyfriends, get married. True, they don’t have the same options women do if they’re not fat. That’s just a fact of life. Just like how short men don’t have the same options as taller men (but we all have more control over our weight than our height.) But there are fat women who marry, and even some, probably, who are happily married. My advice to this woman, if she keeps getting rejected because of the fat, is to find out how other fat women got what she wants. That might not be possible, if all the men she wants are attracting women they prefer more than her. She might have to “settle,” which is already what most women who lock in with a guy think they’re doing.

Or, lose the weight. I know that’s extremely difficult for some people, and there will still be guys who’ll reject her because she USED to be fat (it leaves marks and loose skin, there’s a likelihood she’ll get fat again). But it will improve her dating position, her employment position, and likely her health.

Can you imagine if a man posted a video like that? Complaining that a woman who’d met him for a first date quickly aborted the date? Especially if he finished it tearfully attributing it to his fat?

I saw a woman claim women don’t act like how the man acted. But women do allow a guy to pay for the date knowing she doesn’t want him, send him on his way without so much as a kiss, and then plenty of those women will text a bad boy to come over and hook up.

Dating, especially if you’re looking for “the one,” is extremely tough. It’s much less of a problem for someone who is running game.

Running Game - You Have a Right to Remain Silent

....or say very little.

Anything you say can and might be used against you.

When running game, you’ll usually find the less you say, the better. Anything you say can be used against you as a reason NOT to do what you’d like. It could be anything from your birth date (= astrological sign), your political party, or your favorite band.

Pick up lines or “opens” should be avoided in a place like a bar. Wait for her to come to you. On a date or any other time it’s the two of you, encourage HER to talk as much as possible. This does three main things: 1) It gives her positive feelings/impressions about you; 2) It reduces the chances you’ll say something that turns her off; and 3) It clues you in to how to move things to what you want.

Dr. Laura tells the story about how, when she was a student working in a lab, another female student there was having a tough time with a guy and ended up crying all over Dr. Laura’s nice blouse, spilling her guts while Dr. Laura basically just patted her on her back. That other woman recalled the incident as being one in which Dr. Laura had just the right words. Except Dr. Laura hadn’t said much of anything to her.

Similarly, in employment interviews, if the interviewee has gotten the interviewer to talk a lot about themselves, that tends to give the interviewer a favorable impression of the candidate.

Like most tactics, this won’t work with every woman. There are women who are determined to give you the third degree and are paying enough attention to know what you’re doing when you avoid giving her information to be used against you. But this tactic does work for a lot of women.

If they ask you questions about yourself, try to keep the answers short and deflect back to them.

Example:

Her: Do you like dogs?

You: There are so many breeds! How about you?

Notice, you never actually answered. You’ve deflected it back to her, and hopefully, she’ll keep talking. She’ll likely tell you about her dog, or the breeds she likes. There’s a slight chance she’ll tell you she’s allergic or has a phobia. That’s all information you can use. If you have a dog, and that would be a problem for her, you don’t even have to reveal that. She's not going to be meeting your dog anyway.

You might even be able to avoid answering direct questions with jokes or “funny stories” her question “reminds you” of. You have to be careful, though, as you don’t want to inadvertently hit one of her turnoffs. But if it goes well, you get her to laugh (big plus!) AND she’ll not even realize you dodged answering a question.

Another way is to say something like “I’ve been talking in meetings all day, tell me about your…(day, hobby, pet...)”

Saying as little as possible and paying close attention to her (while giving off the vibe that you're in demand and have better things to do than her) helps. In my wayward youth, I was starting to date a woman who didn’t want to tell me her birthday. I narrowed it down from things she’d said. Then she ended up revealing it to me because she’d mistakenly thought I’d figured it out. This allowed me to mark the occasion with a gift, card, etc. (This was before I knew about running game - I now tell men to get scarce around her birthday.)

If you do this right, most women aren’t going to notice you didn’t actually answer their questions. She’ll feel connected to you because you listened so well as she rambled on and on. They’ll fill in the gaps with their feelings, hopes, wishes, delusions, and their own preferences, like a script or casting sheet she has in her head. Women do this with celebrities they think are hot. “I bet he likes the beach, just like me!” There are celebrities the woman you’re dating would have sex with within two minutes of meeting him, even though the only things she knows about him are what he’s said in publicity interviews, which aren't real  life. That’s because of his fame, his perceived wealth, and her made-up thoughts about him. She doesn’t really know if he wants kids. Or if he wants to get married. Or if he wants to live on a farm or in a skyscraper.

This isn’t just in-person talks. It applies to phone calls and texting as well. Keep what you say limited.

Remember, this isn't about finding a life partner or a spouse with whom you can "be your true self." This is about keeping dates casual and fun, and spending as little time, money, and effort on your dates. The less she really knows about you other than what turns you on, the better. The less you can actually say to her that has any meaning to it other than telling her what you want her to do, the better. Your words should be few and should support your presentation.

It's Like A Vasectomy Advertisement

MISSING THE CLOSENESS wrote in to Dear Abby:

A decade ago, before my wife and I had children, we were deeply in love with each other. Everything was great in the bedroom and outside. After we had children, my wife did a 180. She's no longer affectionate with me at all.

We barely hold hands, we never hug, and kissing is prohibited except maybe a kiss before bed. We kiss like it's an obligation. There's no touching in our relationship.

Why aren't you rushing to get married, men??? I am emphasizing certain words and phrases because a lot of comments accused him of only caring about sex.

In the bedroom we used to be more physical and less restrained. I wanted her to be satisfied, without getting more specific. Now, if we are intimate, it's once a month during the summer and maybe twice a month otherwise. She won't allow me to touch parts of her body, and she's physically and emotionally remote.

Wow, he might be getting more sex than me. How sad for my marriage.

When I addressed this with her, she informed me that other couples are intimate less frequently than we are.

True! And some husbands torture and murder their wife.

Should You Have a Woman as a Friend?

Inspired by a comment, I want to explore the concept of you, a heterosexual man, having a female friend or multiple female friends.

I'm talking about actual friends, not mere acquaintances.

If you're married, shacking up, or in an exclusive relationship, and hopefully you're not - but if you are, you really "shouldn't" have female friends with whom your girlfriend/wife isn't friends, and certainly not ones your girlfriend/wife doesn't know about. 

"But Ken! I was friends with her before I started this relationship!" Yeah, well, this one of those countless reasons not to get into exclusive relationships in the first place. If your girlfriend/wife isn't friends with her, and you're not hiding her, she's almost certainly been the subject of arguments between you and "your" woman. Right? OK, for some of you unmarried guys, your girlfriend is waiting until you sign on the dotted line (which you shouldn't do!) before she starts trying to end your friendship.

But what about you free men? Is it OK, is it smart, to have female friends? And if you have such friends, should you become scarce around the holidays?

Is This How You Want to Live?

From a recent Dear Abby column, COVERING MY EYES IN TENNESSEE wrote:

I'm so disgusted. My wife has started walking around the house with no panties or bra, letting it all hang out, so to speak. Then she makes comments like, "Doesn't this look good?" I'm sickened by her behavior. I feel violated. How do I tell her to stop without hurting her sensitive feelings?

What a strange thing for a man married to a woman to write.

Why is he reacting this way?

Most men would LOVE this!

Is he gay???

Very, very strange.

Hmm.

What's going on here?

It’s Not Too Early To Form Your Holiday Game Plan

Free Men, and men who want to be, it's NOT to early to think about the holidays, and by that, I mean Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day. 

There are two main considerations for you:

1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You know how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.

2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.

Don't do something something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.